It is in my best interest that you all are doing better than well. I want you all to go out here and make these dreams reality!
I have been on this earth for damn near 40 years. I haven’t felt more alive than I do right now. For a long time I just wanted to have fun and live freely. I haven’t mastered that yet, but I’m really close. I believe closer than I’ve ever been before.
In the past week there has been so many things that have gone in my favor; and I truly thank God for that, literally! I have accomplished more in this week than I have in a whole year! That was mainly because I was uncomfortable and wanted the discomfort to end.
I’ve come to realize and understand how people go from nothing to something. It’s all because they no longer wanted to be uncomfortable. My only prayer is I never allow myself to get comfortable again, because s*** gets done when you’re uncomfortable.
If you find yourself living a life of monotony, please do something to switch it up!!!!
These last couple of weeks have not been the best. But with God’s help they will get better.
There isn’t a lot that I’ve been focused on. It’s really only been one thing I’ve been focused on for the past… almost 3 weeks now; and that is getting another car. The problem is I never really bought in to the whole credit thing. I thought having credit was more like debt and less like a game. Now that I’m older I understand that a game is exactly what it is. The better you get at the game the easier things in life will happen for you. Choose not to play this game and things can become extremely difficult. Especially if you don’t have the money that could take the place of the credit.
I just hate that it took me so long to understand having no credit is just like having bad credit. I’m living through the consequences of not establishing my credit early and consistently. Because of this it is like pulling teeth trying to get the right car. The other thing I found out was even though you paid your utilities and rent on time it does not go toward your credit. I swear it feels like my eyes have been closed to the way the world has been operating for the past 20yrs.
Now I’m here trying to play catch up, and learn everything there is to learn about credit so that things will come to me easier. Because one thing is for sure, life has definitely not been that.
If you don’t have credit, I suggest you go out while you’re young or even right now and learn how to play the game that some of the rich keep beating us at, time and time again.
If you’ve enjoyed this post please don’t hesitate to become a part of the Shady Gang. Would love to have you.
I hope things are going in your favor and that you are making some major strides in securing your future.
There’s something I was made aware of last night. That thing was; you can’t just date anyone and expect for you all to fit eventually. This is something I never really paid attention to in relationships past. I really thought before that you could date someone and eventually you all would grow together, no matter the difference. Now that I’m older I see that is not the case. There are things you’re gonna run into that just are not going to fit and never will. I guess that is the lesson past relationships taught me.
You may be wondering or you already know I had to experience this fairly recent in order to be talking about it today. You would be right in your assumption. I was open to giving this guy a chance, but he didn’t want the same things I wanted. He was more concerned with what I wanted to do with my life then what he wanted to do with his own. All in all he seemed like a nice guy; just not the guy for me.
The other thing was my mother was so happy when she saw me speaking to him. Mainly because she wants some grandbabies. Not only that, she believes having someone to love you makes you feel more complete. She’s not understanding along with other people I’m close with, that at the current time I’m not looking for another half, nor do I want one. I’m really just wanting to take the time to find out what I want for myself. That is why I have not spoken to or seriously engaged in conversation with anyone I could potentially get close to. I know how I am, and because of that I know that everything I’m trying to make work for me now would come to a stand still if I seriously pursued a relationship. That is something that just can not happen at the current moment.
I’m grateful I was able to stop and assess the situation before it got any bigger. I say that because I have been in situations like that before and I’ve rolled with it; not really providing any pushback. All because I didn’t feel I was worthy of an opinion. Dare I say,
“Not anymore Baby!”
You are gonna hear this mouth, especially if I don’t like something. Or you may not hear from me at all, because I already know what your end game is. I’m not falling for it again.
To many times I have been left with egg on my face.
“Not this time Honey”
I am the one that is going to decide my future. No one other than me gets a say so in what I choose to do with my life. I have given boyfriends past too much control over my life and greatness. That will never happen again.
“I have far to much to do to be fooled up with you!”
For those of you who feel you need someone to be happy; please know that isn’t true. What is true, is that you are supposed to love you before you could ever allow yourself to love them and them love you back. If you’re not in this headspace I suggest you take the time to learn to love you before you add someone else to the equation.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday! Nothing like having it off! You should have seen me yesterday. Every time I found myself getting sleepy or starting to feel low energy, it spiked once I reminded myself there was no work today!
The other thing is, I had a therapy session yesterday. It didn’t go as well as I would have liked. Mainly because I haven’t been consistent in my healing. Truth be told I’ve slacked off and reverted back to old ways. Mainly because it’s comfortable and it’s the way I’ve been for years. I understand change only happens when you make it happen. For a point of time you have to put conscious effort in to changing behaviors for them to become a habit. I guess this is the faze that I am currently in.
Some of you are probably not concerned with the self development aspect of the blog. But this is something I use to help me hold myself accountable for my actions and growth. The more I think about it and given the way I think, there is no way I should have financial issues. But as I’ve stated before, fear has been a really huge debilitator for me. So even though I may be a hell of a lot afraid of what on lookers have to say, I am going to doing it anyway. Just throw it out there and see what sticks.
This is something a lot of us suffer from. Mainly because we have fallen down way more than we have gotten up and some where along the road we’ve decided it isn’t worth the risk. Truth is, it’s always worth the risks when it involves bettering the quality of your life. What is slowly sinking in ( and I mean slowly, like molasses) is that even though you have thoughts and you may even have people around you telling you that what you want to do will not work or it is close to impossible to make happen; you have to continue to pursue it. The gift was given to you and you have to learn to step out in faith and take the chance to find out what will happen.
Last thing, even though you may respect their opinion, you have to keep in mind they aren’t God. Therefore they have no idea what will happen once you start trusting yourself and walking in your purpose.
I’m sure this day is turning out to be the blessing that it is, for you. The only thing you have to do is believe it and know it is going to be a great day because you woke up this morning. I’m sure you probably hear that a lot, because I know I do; but it’s true. Simple things like waking up aren’t promised to us. So we need to learn to slow down and appreciate the little things.
With that being said, I had a session with my therapist; as I tend to do these days. We ended up speaking about the Covid-19 vaccine. Mainly because there have been plenty people around me who’ve gotten the shot. The only reason I haven’t gotten it is because I have the tendency to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist. But after having a factual conversation about it I’m really considering getting the shot. Considering; doesn’t mean I am, just considering it.
On another note regarding health. I had No clue vitamin D was so important to peoples over all health. From what I’ve read, we get most of our vitamin D from the Sun. Then there are other sources such as; food, UV lamps, or a supplement.
Truth be told your diet is one of the main deciding factors as to how much vitamin D your body can absorb; the other is your level of activity. Remember you need movement for the natural flow of things. You don’t move- things start to settle. The longer you are inactive, the harder it becomes to move and have your body’s natural flow take place.
It’s sad that I’m just now understanding health and the way it works. There’re things I should have been raised knowing. But to be honest health was the last thing anyone from my neck of the woods was worried about. Life was more about surviving and having the chance to better your life once you got old enough to make your own decisions.
So now that I am a grown woman, I just feel like I’m playing catch up. At times it feels like I’m fumbling through life with the lights off. Hoping to find my way (eventually).
Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who feels like this? I need to know I’m not the only one in my late 30’s still trying to figure this thing out.
Question: Has the female male dynamic changed much since the 2000s?
There has been much going on between the woman and man since the beginning of time. First the men were the providers and protectors and the women were the nurturers and the ones you went to for reason. They were also the ones who kept the house in order along with other duties. In this day and age that has changed. As most of us know times have advanced, and as a result, so has the role of the woman. I’m sure this isn’t true across the board, but everyday we’re making strides for women every where to have the same rights as any man.
With that being said, there are some things I see a lot of women going through because we are the bearers and carriers of the seed. Because of this we are many times the one who takes responsibility when our other half does not want too. This is something I’ve spoken about before and just can’t shake loose. I’m sure this has a lot to do with growing up in a single parent household; my mother being the backbone of our family, emotionally and financially.
She like many other woman who’ve become mothers at ages as young as 12, 16 or sometimes younger, have had to put themselves to the side to make a way for the little person they have growing inside them. That’s if they’re willing to take on the responsibility.
I ask a simple question that deserves an answer.
Why is society the way it is? How did we get to this point? I understand in love or because of a woman’s nature she will fall victim to deception. That may have a lot to do with men being the decision makers.
I wish we all could be open minded and truly hear what our fellow (wo)man has to say. Regardless of gender, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any other factor I’ve failed to mention. I feel once we’re able to move beyond that we’ll all become better versions of ourselves.
If this is or has been a concern of yours, I would love to hear your thoughts
There are thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind for years. First one:
“Am I capable of making it on my own?”
This is and has been a huge concern of mine my whole adult life. I believe it’s something I constantly think about because I’ve never lived alone in all my 38 years on this earth.
The other thing that makes me question whether I have what it takes to make it is my procrastination. It’s baaaad! Really bad. There have been countless times that there’s something I have to do, but don’t because I continuously push that thing further and further back until I never do it. That’s the main reason when things are do I go in to a panic mode; because I never do things ahead of time. If I did, it would save me the unnecessary stress.
The other things I think of often are “Will I ever make it being my own boss” and the other is “Will I be alone forever?” For as far back as I can remember I’ve wanted to be my own boss. The thing that constantly sets me back is constantly trying and starting NEW things. I ‘ve realized I do this because I’m trying to find a way to make it out of a 9 to 5. Really doesn’t matter what 9 to 5 it is, I don’t want any of those! I really just want to pour in to something and in return that thing reward me and pour back into me.
Then with the thought of possibly being alone for the rest of my life… that is something I’m kind of looking forward to at the time. I’m just not sure how I’m gonna feel about that in the long-term. One thing’s for certain though, many men feel like women and many women are acting like men. It’s almost like we’ve switched roles. Just for clarification, I’m not speaking of every man. I’m only speaking of those that believe a woman is equal to a man in worth in every single way. Also those women and men who don’t recognize how important the union between a man and a woman is.
The problems I see arise these days when women and men enter into a relationship together, many times the man is putting out feminine energy and the woman is putting out masculine energy. In my opinion this seems to happen when boys get babied and girls get raised.
If you feel that isn’t a true statement, please make sure to leave a comment and it will be a topic on the podcast.
I hope everyone is being careful and spending time with those they love.
Let me start by saying, “I love therapy!” I’ve always known I needed it. But to finally get it is a high like no other. There are things that have happened through my life I couldn’t make sense of or just needed some help working through. With therapy I feel that little girl in me coming alive. I’m still not exactly sure if I’m completely happy about that. One thing I am happy about is, getting to understand myself a lot better, being able to understand my behaviors and why I feel what I feel in certain situations.
I had not realized until yesterday that I’ve been in some really uncomfortable and toxic situations. All this time I thought the things I went through were normal. Mainly because all I really know is toxicity; when it comes to male female relationships. So in my adult life that is what I expected and deep down accepted.
Through this process I’ve been made aware struggle love isn’t necessary. I am capable of being in a relationship that serves me and not the other way around. I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but I’m writing about it again because I feel I understand it a little better.
We go through struggle love because it’s all we know. This is why a lot of unhealthy decisions are made; because whether we realize it or not, we’re making the same choices our parents made. It didn’t work for them and most likely it won’t work for us. But we continue to go around and around in a circle, until we receive help to learn there is a better way to go about life.
Codependency is a silent killer, and if you continue to put others before yourself you will always get the same result time and time again.
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I’ve been thinking about this week for a long time. This week is Spring Break for Palm Beach County. And since I work with a school, it is also spring break for me! Meaning that I do not have to report to work for a full week! That alone is cause to celebrate. But what put the icing on the cake was my family coming down.
This was such a big thing because there is a part of our family that I haven’t seen in years (that’s partly my fault). I have to say though that I had a great time spending time with my cousins and just getting that complete feeling again. I really hadn’t noticed how much it affected me not to have them here.
I understand that not having them here is something I’m gonna have to get over. I will in do time. But the real thing I had to take in to account is my lack of change. I realized over the years there has been much that has changed with them, but I’ve stayed the same. Not in away saying that is a bad thing because it isn’t. It just makes me take a closer look at myself and helps me to realize; time waits for NO man. Meaning, it’s time for me to put fear to the side and start living freely and with out the worry of judgement.
Have you ever just had those close family members that you admire because they’re able to go through many situations without fear or they have fear but they find a way to make that fear none existent? Those are the qualities I’m working to build within myself. Honestly it was just inspiring to watch how fearless my family is. If they want something they go for it.
The other thing is, they all are fighters. I’m not speaking in the physically form per say, but they’ll fight if they had too. I’m really speaking of spiritually. They will go toe to toe for their family. That’s why I love my people. But there is still work we need to do. As I’m sure everyone’s family has something they need to work on.
Inconclusion, I can’t wait until we get together again.
Working toward something just to get put off and start working on something else. There had been times when I was told what I wanted to do in life was not obtainable. I understood where these people were coming from, but this was my dream and there was NO way I was going to let someone tell me that I can’t get out of this life what I truly want.
For a long time I let what people told me dictate my actions. In many ways I’m still allowing peoples opinions to dictate my actions. Worrying how they would feel if I didn’t follow their advice. But it’s time for things to change and my life to take a new direction. Living for people has gotten me nothing but disappointment and a life that I’m unhappy with.
Let me be brutally honest; I followed what others told me to do because I was too afraid to listen to my own thoughts and what God had to tell me. Over the years there has been so much that he has given to me and I have done nothing with. There have been whole novels that he’s given to me in my sleep. Ideas I’ve been too afraid to act on, because it required me to be a lot more extroverted than I am initially.
Over the years there have been so many things I’ve tried. Money I’ve paid. All because I did not want to work for anyone; and that is still true today. Everyday I have thoughts on what I could do to become my own boss. As I’m sure you see there isn’t anything that has panned out as of yet. I’m sure that is do to my short tension span.
The one thing I know I would love to do for the rest of my life is write. But if I’m honest I know that I won’t be able to half ass writing. It’s not that it’s hard to get paid for it, it’s more of being a writer that stands out of the crowd. When you’re able to do that you have a better chance of better pay, more opportunities and recognition.
The only thing I’ve constantly have been working toward this whole time is getting paid for what I love to do. I’m going to continue to work at it. I’ll be trying to figure it out until I die, because I know that is what I was put here to do.
If there is anything you feel nagging at you, you haven’t done because you’re afraid of what people will say; go ahead and do that thing. It’s going to keep bothering you until you do it.
There’s something I’ve been doing for years that I’ve become really good at. That thing is being other people’s right hand. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong there are benefits to making someone else look good; sometime physical and sometimes emotional.
There are those of us that have become so good at this, we tend to do it seamlessly. Many times because we enjoy giving to others. For a time I enjoyed doing this. This was do to always needing approval from my peers and employers. But as of now that is not the current head space I’m in.
Sometimes the people you’re building up only look at you as your job title and nothing more. Then you have others that are able to see you for who you are. That type of relationship can become great, because the person who’s getting the help realizes how imperative it is to have you on their team. Then there are others who act as if they appreciate you. Then you find them doing or saying something that shows they see you as beneath them. This typically occurs when that person has more financially stability than the person who’s helping them.
This is a concept that I’m all too familiar with. That being said; I would love to blame that person for their actions, but it isn’t their fault. It’s mine for allowing that type of treatment. If you don’t know or if it slipped your mind, “People only treat you the way you allow them to.”
Inconclusion, helping others feels good, but only when it’s appreciated, not expected.
If you’ve experienced working in situations such as this, leave a comment on how you dealt with it or if you dealt with it.
I’m sure many of you understand where I’m coming from. I heard this time and time again, but never really thought about it, until last night.
Lately I’ve been watching and listening to inspirational podcasts and shows. The even better thing about this is; the people I’ve been listening too look just like me. The reason this is important is because it helps me to know that there are NO road blocks in my way, only the ones I choose to create.
I’ve come to understand the reason I’m not living a life I desire and love is due to not putting in the work necessary to live a life of happiness. Many of us hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. How can you expect to be wealthy or living the type of life you dream of, if you’re not doing anything to work towards that dream.
Many of us day in and day out only do what is expected of us, because we’re in fear of standing out amongst the crowd and falling on our face. We find ourselves continuously going to a job we loathe because we live in fear of what might happen if we STOP!
I have allowed peoples expectations of me to dictate my moves all my life. This is something I’ve needed to work on for a very long time. I’m choosing to make a step to change my mindset, so that the concern others have over my life does not effect me decisions.
I’m sure you’re like, “Shadrieka you always say that!” It’s true. I have said that in the past, but this time I made a sold move by making an appointment to see a therapist. I’m hoping we’re a good fit and she can help me with my issues. You know, take away the fear of the constant changes you have to go through in order to evolve?
If peoples opinions and your negative self talk is keeping you in a negative mindset, to were you never act on the things you feel, maybe it’s time to make a drastic change. Because the life you desire is one you can have. It’s you who has to take that step to make it pssible.
Also if you’re looking for a all natural soap that’s a great moisturizer try my brand!!!
Hope your days have been going well. There is so much I want to say. Let me see if I can get my thoughts organized…… SIKE!!! I’m sure if you’ve been a reader of my blog for a while, you know that my thoughts and feelings are everywhere. Many times I just like to give an update about what’s going on in my life. And if there happens to be some kind of lesson or something you can relate to, that is a great thing for me. Because All I really want to do is relate to you all. Let you know that you are not alone in the things you may experience or how you feel.
Thinking you’re the only one who feels or goes through the things you do, is something I experienced for a long time. I truly believe it got to me a little more because I had a mentally and emotionally abusive step father. I like to think he had ‘No’ effect on me, but the older I get the more I realize he’s the reason I handle most people with kid gloves.
I remember being loud, fun, extroverted, and unapologetic when it came to how I interacted with people. Now I’m timid and self conscious. Many times I don’t do things for the fear that my mere appearance will cause the wrong kind of attention. So because of that, a lot of my life has passed by without me doing anything.
I understand I have time to get it right, but it’s gonna take some time. I really would love to get back to being that care-free extrovert I was once upon a time.
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What’s up Everyone? As always, I hope you are doing well and having grand life experiences.
Frustration is something I live with on a daily basis. I thought to make it in this world during this time in history was going to be a lot easier than it has been. I find my main problem has been staying consistent. I’m working on it. It’s been a constant problem in trying to grow my audience. In the past there have been so many things I’ve started, but stopped because I lost interest in them.
Like I’ve said in so many blogs before, if there is something you want to do, work towards it everyday until you’ve reached that goal. I find that to be easier said than done. I try to follow my own advice, but many times my emotions get in the way of my success. This is never something I count on happening, it just does. But the good thing is, I’m making strides to change that. I’m tired of my emotions setting me up for failure.
Once I heard this girl say, “What you’re doing right now is what you’ll be doing in the next 2 to 3 years from now. So what that means is; If you have a crappy job now and you want to be your own boss, but you’re not doing anything to create that reality; don’t be surprised if all you have is that crappy job that pays you minimum wage. Remember in order to reap any benefit you have to put in work. The harder and more you work towards your goal, the bigger the pay off.
I’m sure this is something that many of us know; but we’re just not ready to take on the responsibility of creating our own reality. This usually happens because we are afraid of failing. I know I am. That might be the real reason why it’s hard for me to be consistent; because I’m so afraid that I’ll continue to put in maximum effort and never be good enough to make a career out f this. One thing I’ve learned though is that you have to throw caution to the wind and do what you want to do anyway. Learn to do it because it feels good. I know that’s why I write.
If it makes you feel good, no one should be able to tell you anything. Remember, just because some don’t like it enough to help you grow, there will be others that will because they believe in you and what you stand for.
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Hope everyone is doing well. I have to say, I’m feeling GREAT!!!! There are so many things I want to do. But when is there not so many things I want to do. The great thing about me feeling this way is, it lets me know I’m back to myself. Something I’ve been praying for, for a while.
Now that I’m back to myself I need to make somethings shake. The problem is with me; I want to do so many things, but I don’t know the actions to take to bring them alive. Over the years there have been so many things I’ve started. Things like a soap business with Grade A soap. The only thing I have No clue how to market it. I definitely know how to spend the money to create it though. Then there’s the book I published Loyalty Love Lies & Betrayal. I published that almost 2 years ago, but the sales are nothing to write home about. Then there’s my podcast Elevated Living and my YouTube channel Lulus Lavish Lathers. These two are also things I could be working on to generate money. But to be honest all I really know how to do is start things. I never seem to have the focus or motivation it takes to keep it going. But I have a strong feeling that is going to change. Mainly because I really do not want to work for anyone anymore.
The reason I haven’t made it in any of the things I’ve tried yet is….. FEAR. Fear of being in the forefront. You know how you want to be well of but not famous? That’s me. I want the payoff from it, I just don’t want the attention that comes with it. But the longer I sit with this and let life pass me by it becomes more apparent being in the forefront is exactly what I need to do.
My apologies for the short post. But currently this is the only thing on my mine. If this happens to be something you’re also dealing with, maybe we can figure this road block out together.
Also if you’re having problems with your skin and it’s being unruly, try a bar of Lulu’s Lavish Lathers; the soap that Caters to you. Made with all natural ingredients.
How have you all been?! I hope you have good news for me.
First off, I am sincerely sorry for not posting on the regular. But I’m back and getting better as we speak.
We are finally on Winter Break. THANK YOU GOD!!! There is something that comes over you when you know that you’re going to get a full 2 weeks to yourself. As many may know, it’s mainly about the freedom that comes with the break. Especially if you don’t have any obligations to anyone or anything.
One thing I have to admit though; I’m so thankful I’m here with my family. After spending so many years with someone who didn’t want to do anything for any occasion, this is a real change. I have to admit, my Mom is doing it up for the holidays. I’m a little out of practice when it comes to getting in the Christmas spirit. But I can’t wait to start having fun with revisiting it.
What’s special about this time of YEAR
I forgot how fun this time of year could be. Many of us rush around so much that we find ways to rush right through life. Forgetting the people, things and places we love, because we’re so engrossed in other things we have no control over. We get mad at those who may have made a simple mistake, many times because we’re mad with something we don’t have the power to change.
If you haven’t noticed this time of year is for giving and being thankful for the people you love who are your ‘ride or dies’. I’m sure over the years the number changes; but if you even have one person in your corner that is willing to go to bat for you, that’s all that counts.
Too often we think if we’re nice to this person and do everything they ask us, that we’ve made a new friend. Many times when we gain friends like that they don’t turn out to be friends, they turn out to be users. It took me a long time to figure this out, but people use you because you set yourself up to be used. It’s your job to let that person know what you will and won’t take. The other thing is, you have to remember in many cases people are like children; if you constantly give them what they want they’re going to act like a spoiled child when it comes to you and demand the same treatment you started out giving them. It’s not that they don’t care about you, it’s only that they’ve becomes accustomed to treating you like a doormat (because you allowed it.)
Back to what makes this time of year so special. For a lot of us, we get to spend time with family and friends. Picking out things we know they’ll love and expecting that perfect gift from that someone special. Knowing they have know choice but know what to get you for Christmas because you dropped hints over a thousand times. Even aside from that, the great memories that’ll be made with some of the most special people in your life.
I hope you all have a beautiful Winter Break, plenty of fun and you have more than enough chances to make new memories with those you love.
Hope everyone is having a beautiful love filled holiday break. I can not express how happy having this time off from work has made a difference.
There are people that I’ve met during this time that have really made me appreciate living and all the appreciation that has transpired from getting to know people different than me. I have to catch myself sometimes, because many times I can only see the forest for the trees. Meaning; I can only place value on the things in front of me at the time. When in reality life is soo much more than we can grasp. There are so many complexities and we struggle on the daily to make sense of them all.
It’s the same when it comes to people and the way they may act towards us or treat us. For a long time I was raised to believe and be mindful of what other people may be going through. I really believe growing up with this in mind helped me to not judge people for how they react in certain situations. It always kept me aware “No one is perfect”.
The crazy thing is, even though we know none of us could ever be perfect we still continue to beat ourselves up even though we know it is something that could never be possible.
So the next time you find yourself being just a little to hard on yourself, please keep in mind, “You have room for errors. Also there is no reason for you to constantly beat yourself up for something you didn’t get right. The main lesson is to keep trying til you do.
As always I hope everyone is doing well. I’ma tell you one thing; I feel so much better then I’ve been feeling in the last couple of weeks! I guess you could say my body and mind needed the rest. I feel a little guilty saying that, because we’ve only been back in school for about 3 months. I shouldn’t feel bad about saying that though. I’m sure there are a lot of people just as grateful for this break as I am. There’s probably teachers out there already planning their Summer vacation.
Well… Like I told you all before there’re going to be some things I’m going to be working on bringing to life. First I need your input.
Which play should I work on producing first?
Desire- A tale of a very gullible girl, who falls in love with someone who appears will never love her back. Not realizing everything she thought she knew was a lie and sh*t was gonna hit the fan a lot sooner than she ever expected.
Loyalty: Love, Lies & Betrayal- My first self published book. A tale of a homosexual couple who has problems just like anyone else. Centered around Jacoby who is an owner of a multimillion dollar record company. But has failed to realize everything he has is due to his loving somewhat crazy husband Stacy. Things start taking a turn for the the worst when Stacy gets wind of just how giving and generous Jacoby has been and has continued to be to his female counter parts.
I’m sure at the time I’m writing this it’s probably bed time for most of you. But I had to get a post down for the day. Just incase you’re not aware, many times I only write if I have something to write about. As some may know a lot of my posts have something to do with what I’m experiencing at the time. So this will be no different.
This is something hard for me to talk about, because I feel that it’s letting you know a little bit too much about me. But I figure I’ll go ahead and get it off my chest. Let me start of by saying,” I’ve always been a big girl. At one point in time I use to be into health. But for the most part that has changed in the past couple of years. I guess you could say, “I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. So naturally like most people I allowed the way I felt to lead me.
This was not a good thing, for obvious reasons. Me allowing my emotions to dictate the way I feel or felt doesn’t keep me in a mind frame of being accountable for everything I do and consume. As a result I allowed myself to go crazy with the eating and the cold foods and drinks.
If I’m honest my diet consists of about 85% to 90% processed food….. Wow!! I never really thought about how much processed food I eat. That’s mind blowing. I’m just coming to the realization now that I eat way too much junk.
Well I’m sure you’re trying to figure out why I’m mentioning this. It’s simple really. I’m bringing this to light because a lot of women these days are experiencing infertilely. Many of them don’t realize it’s the food they eat that play a huge part in why they’re not able to conceive.
I remember reading a study years back, about the fertility difference in women who eat natural food appose to women who eat a diet high in processed foods. Naturally the women who ate natural foods most of the time were the ones with a higher fertility rate. As for the women eating the processed food, they’re fertility was cut in half . What’s sad is, it wasn’t a 100% to begin with.
If I can find the study I’ll make sure to leave a link.
This isn’t the same study from so many years back, but it is something you can read to get a better understanding.
Well at the current time I’ve been feeling all over the place. Having to deal with imbalances, menstrual problems, mood swings and the list goes on. I can not fully explain what I’ve experienced waiting for my period to come every month. This puts the stress level at even a higher high because my mother wants grand babies, and I’m at an age were that could easily not be possible at anytime. As for me, I’m not sure if I want any children. I feel like that ship has sailed. Also mentally and financially I’m in no place to have children at the current time.
The only thing I’m going to say is, “if God sees it fit to provide me with a child, I will love and do every and anything I can for that child. The other thing is I don’t know how it’s gonna happen, because I have taken the longest time from dating in my whole adult life.
I thought it was time I take some time for myself, because my whole life I’ve been living for someone else. I’m so tired of that. So I finally said, “Enough is enough! It’s time for me to learn how to love me without me needing the affection of someone else.
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Today’s post is about the obstacles you’re going to face while trying to make your mark in this world. As you should know, nothing and I do mean nothing is going to come easy. You’re going to have to fight tooth and nail to get to where you want to be. I understand for some of us it comes easier than others. But you’re going to have to fight sometimes harder to keep your spot than you had to get it.
Don’t feel discouraged, because everyone has to go through this point in life. As you know this wouldn’t be a Shads Short Stories post if I didn’t put an example of myself in here; so here it goes. At the current moment I’m fighting to stay motivated to make my mark. There are so many things I want to accomplish; as I’m sure you do as well.
The thing that stops or causes me to procrastinate is myself, my emotions and my job. Many days I come home and I’m so tired that there is nothing I want to do more than come home and go to bed. I also understand by doing this it’s pushing the manifestation date of my dreams back significantly. This is a hurdle that I’m going to have to learn to jump, because I don’t want another year to go by and nothing that I have worked on has been manifested.
The one great thing I have manifested was my first published book. Something I thought was going to be near impossible to finish. But… I finished it. That’s why I have such an optimistic personality. Cause I know anything you put your mind to you can make happen. You just have to keep a positive attitude around that thing you’re trying to manifest, and it will come.
Too often we allow our mind to run away from us. We let those negative thoughts fester and later on don’t realize how continuing to think negatively gets us lost in our minds and emotions. All emotions are, are the body following the brain. Causing us to expel or energy in uneventful ways.
So the next time you’re overthinking something DON’T. All it does is throw your body out of wack and riddle you with anxiety. Overthinking too much also causes internal dis-ease. That is why it’s a great idea to read, meditate, sleep, or exercise to decompress from the day.
I’ve recommended this book before, but I’m going to recommend it again along with another book. The first is:
Breaking the Habit of being yourself: This book was a real Eye Opener for me, because it allowed me to realize people weren’t reacting to me; they were reacting in a learned behavior, that is also known as a program. This helped me to realize I had also allowed my mind to program me in such a way that every time I met someone new I became overcome by anxiety. I can’t express how much of an insight this was.
The 2nd is The 4 Agreements: The great thing about this one is it helps you to see and understand every time you do something wrong against someone else you’re actually hurting yourself. This is another one that helps you to get out of your head and start living. It helps you understand there is NO one holding you back but YOU.
As for what I’m currently reading The Power of Now. There isn’t too much I can say about this book as of yet, because I’ve just begun to read it. But trust if it’s a GREAT READ you will know about it.
Hope you’re having a beautiful day! There are so many reasons why you should. Before you say or even think of that as a false statement realize experiencing the best out of life is a state of mind. So… with that said, life is what ever you want to make it.
I tend to read a lot of self help books. I do this because I feel the need to work on myself. I’m not going to lie and say I have everything figured out sense reading these books; but they do help me to feel a lot better about myself and situations. They help me to see the world in someone else’s perspective. This in turn helps to boost my mood, which leads to me feeling uplifted and wanting to pass that feeling on. I say this because maybe you’re someone who wants or needs to feel uplifted, and this may be something you use to bring you a little bit closer to that.
There is so much you can do when you feel uplifted and free. For my followers who’ve been with me over the years (I appreciate you all immensely) you know I always say the way the world is constructed, we are slaves to the 1%ers. I’m not saying that in a way to make you feel sad, mad or helpless. I say this because most of us go to a job we hate and trade our time for money everyday. When we could be just as privileged as our bosses or so many others who took a chance on their selves’.
If you are like some, you might be okay with working for someone else. That’s okay if you are. But if you’re like me, you crave to be in the center of everything great. Even if that means you have to experience some things that aren’t so great.
Your journey is your own. Don’t get discouraged if the ones around you can’t see or understand your vision. Just remember it wasn’t given to them, it was given to you.
Never doubt yourself, because you’re capable of doing things you’ve never even dreamed possible.
Learn the ways of the world through trial and error, when ever possible. When you start living this way, your whole life doesn’t turn out to be a long list of woulda shoulda coulda’s.
I get that many of us live in our heads. This is even more detrimental when you’re an introvert who suffers from social anxiety, like myself. Just remember these are obstacles that can be over come. You don’t have to sit and bathe in misery (unless you want too).
You control you’re destiny. Stop giving it away!!
Live and be Limitless.
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Another rainy day here in WPB FL. I’m not here for it. I don’t want to end up with a cold by the end of the day.
As always I hope you all are getting everything and anything you’ve always wanted because the possibilities are endless! It’s us that seem to put limitations on the things we’re capable of doing and receiving. When in reality our limitations are endless. I’m sure some may think it’s a little bit of an airhead thing to say, but it’s true!
Society has taught a great deal of us to continuously live in lack. So instead of trying to change that outlook many of us learn to work around it. We get drunk, over eat, become addicted to certain things we use to escape our current reality; during the times we’re supposed to be creating or making room for our blessings.
Many of us have become so present in our physical world to the point were that’s all we see. We start to believe, “If they don’t like me then I need to find a way to make them like me.” When in reality it’s not up to us how that person feels toward us. What we have to understand is, no matter how great of a person we are to some, they’ll never like you…. and that’s Okay!
The goal is to concentrate on you and make sure you’re a solid human being. My NEW mantra, “Selfcare is the best care.” Reason being, if you can’t take care of yourself how are you going to take care of someone else.
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I hope you enjoyed this sweet short simple blog.
Go out there and manifest your dreams!
Also don’t forget to shop LuLusLavishLathers.com for your natural soap needs. Soaps that are so soothing they put you to sleep after every wash.
Today’s post is about falling and learning the failure isn’t in falling. The failure is in not getting back up. I’m sure a lot of you have heard that saying over and over again. Let me put a spin on it. Brake it down so that it will mean more and hit you deeper.
We all have something or another we want to accomplish in life. Some of us go through life and don’t even scratch the surface of our greatest potential. Do you know why that is?….
We may try to say something else is the reason for us not being great, but in actuality fear is the poison that seems to paralyze us all when that time comes to let others know what we’re really capable of. There’s No denying fear has been a large part of how I’ve lived life up to this point. There’ve been many things I have wanted to do but have not, because of fear. Fear of what you may ask; To be honest I really don’t know, but it’s fear just the same.
So what I ask of you and I will practice this too. Work on seeing yourself as more than just your physical presence. Work on looking deep with in yourself. Take the time to get to know YOU. Once you carve out the time to truly get to know who you are, no one can tell you anything about YOU that’s gonna shake your spirit.
There is always gonna be a person or thing that will try to block you from getting to know yourself. You’re gonna have to be strong and not put so much of your focus on the outside world. When everything’s all said and done you’re going to have to make sure you’re whole all by yourself.
The best thing is always work on yourself first before trying to add someone else to the chaos that is YOU. Most of us learn this late in life. I don’t believe this is the fault of our parents, because we’re gonna do what we want to do anyway. I feel it’s because many of us are so in a rush to run before we walk, we stumble and fall before we ever take our first step.
However you choose to get to know yourself is completely fine. There is NO right or wrong way. Remember to throw the judgement out the window when it comes to the process. You may not realize it, but sometimes scrutiny or judgement can spark fear.
That’s why it’s best when going through this process to not inform anyone of how you’re healing until the process is complete; and that is only if you choose too. It’s no ones business but your own of your healing process.
Below are some ways I’ve found that work in helping you become WHOLE:
Do more of what you love
Spend quality time with yourself
Challenge yourself to do something you wouldn’t typically do.
Live in the moment
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I hope everyone has a FANTASTIC Friday! I am so happy we are finally here! Meditation here I come!
For the past couple of days I haven’t been feeling myself. I’m sure it’s because of what I’ve been eating (Donuts, cereal, chips, & cakes). I know these things aren’t good overall, but when you add a extreme social anxiety and extreme depression it gets a whole lot worse. Not to mention, lack of sleep.
At the current moment I’m not in the most ideal please in my life. See I’ve been writing blog after blog about being okay where you are right now. It is true, you should make peace with what ever part in life you’re in. But somedays I just want to be on my own again. I know the day will come. It’s just sometimes the process gets to be a little too much for me to bare, sometimes I just want to check out of life. Then I start to think how good it could be if I wait it out.
There’ve been plenty days when I just want to go faraway from everyone and be alone, because uncertain feelings scare me. Incase you haven’t realized this because you’re someone who’s always around others and are comfortable with it, being around people emotions start to stir up. This is usually time I check out, because I don’t trust many or easily for that matter.
I wanted this to be an uplifting post, but we all know some days are going to be more trying than others. So I just have to make sure to keep a positive mindset and know tomorrow will be a better day.
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Hope everyone is doing fine…. I was going through trying to figure out what I was going to write about today. There’s so many things that go through my mind, but not all of them can make it to the post. Most recently I was thinking about starting up a couple other things. The only problem with this is making sure I stay consistent. Remaining consistent has always been a struggle for me; No matter what I’m supposed to do. The only time I seem to get things done is when it’s for someone else. That is a habit that must change.
As for the things I want to start doing; YouTube. I started a channel a while ago but stopped making content because I obsess over every aspect of the video, to the point of me not posting one. I’m working on letting that perfectionist go. I tell myself there are many things I plan to do in life, but they never seem to go any further then that. So to correct that I’m working on keeping my word to myself. It may be one of the hardest things I’m gonna have to learn, but it’s something I’m actively working on improving.
One of the other things is getting my Podcast up and running. I tell you; there are so many was out here to make money, you just have to be open to the possibilities of what may happen once you let go. This is something I constantly have to remind myself of, because I always contain my real self. I do this for fear of not being accepted.
The bad thing about always silencing or containing your true reactions and emotions; you start to loose yourself. I know this from experience, because I don’t know if the person I am in everyday life is the person I am when I’m alone. The person I am when I’m alone is someone completely different. Hell… the people I create in my stories are a lot more exciting then I am.
I think I learned how to permanently silence and hide myself once I was taught to care what other people think. The hard part now is to unlearn that behavior. The only thing I want to do is be the person I would have been without the years and years of indoctrination. The great thing is; at least I understand unlearning and not doing what’s expected of me will bring me closer to who I’m supposed to be.
I know that deep down, under all these insecurities I am a free spirited, open, loving, kind, generous soul who does what she wants without the nagging voice saying; Don’t be too different. You run the risk of being rejecting when you’re not digestible. Even though I know this isn’t true, it’s still something that keeps me from showing the world who I truly am.
If you took the time to read this blog in its entirety; Thank you!
Would like to tip the writer CashApp: $ShadsShortStories
I practice a mindset of gratitude and focusing on the future. This is what makes me happy. How I see myself and my reality are 2 different things. In my inner world I Am very aware, but I also get things done. I AM a successful writer, movie producer/ director, an owner of a lucrative business and so much more!!!!
My outer reality reflects something completely different. On the outside I’m a very meek quiet, agreeable, insecure, anxiety ridden, borderline awkward person. I take care of children for a living. Something I never wanted to get back into. It’s nothing against the children, I love all of them deeply. I just rather be in a lifestyle that will allow me to do things on my own terms.
That’s why I’ve decided I AM going to be working for myself before the end of this school year. This is something I’ve always wanted to, but I constantly find myself procrastinating and not getting anything done. So… what is going to happen in the months to come; Promoting, writing, events, & constant advertising.
I guess you could say I’ve allowed things from my past to hold me back from becoming successful. Something NO ONE should allow their past to do. I’ve learned even when you think it’s next to impossible, think of that person who has accomplished it and know they were once in your shoes. The truth is; it isn’t impossible, but it becomes impossible because of your mindset. Once you change your mindset that’s when everything changes.
So inclosing. If you have something you’re passionate about and that is the only thing you want to do, go for it! If not, you’re going to forever feel like something is missing. Know that the struggle to get there is only temporary, but the rewards are endless!!
The struggle is Temporary but the Rewards are endless!!!
Never stop chasing your dreams….
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Often times we have large gifts we never manage to share with the world. Many times because we have other obligations or because we’re afraid too. Thinking that by sharing this thing with the world it leaves you vulnerable to criticism. True it does, but what if by allowing other people in, you learn you are actually good at what you do? Not only that you start to receive praise for it. Let’s take it a step further, you are able to monetize it and live doing the very thing you love.
I completely understand it won’t be easy. The real question is; Will it be worth it?
There are gonna be times when it’s gonna seem impossible to keep going; but you have too. There isn’t going to be a better feeling then doing what you love and knowing you’re getting paid for it.
I knew from young a regular 9 to 5 wasn’t for me. For 1 I don’t like to be told what to do. Also I like to be in control of what I do. My current job title doesn’t offer me any creative space. So based off of that I know it won’t be my job for much longer.
I will not allow a job to take away my creative spark. There are many things I want to do in this life and I’ve started doing a couple. The reason I haven’t been able to do those things full time is do to not being able to make a living from them as of yet.
A job is a job but a career is a lifestyle.
Please remember that.
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Hope things are always going in your favor. Remember if they’re not it’s because you’re wrapped up in your negative thoughts.
You are the Master of your own destiny! I know that sounds a little corny, but it’s true. If you want bigger and better things to happen you have to believe and know that they are possible. I speak about this often, because a lot of us believe life is happening to us. In reality we are the shot callers and we haven’t realized how much control we give to other people and organizations.
We relinquish power because we don’t know what to do with it. Too often many of us are stuck working jobs we hate or make little to NO money from!
Recently inflation has skyrocketed, do to COVID-19. The sad thing is, people like me who are not making a comfortable salary are going to have to make some hard decisions. Decisions like; whether to spend 11 dollars on that bottle of Lysol, $5 dollars on that hand sanitizer, or going back to work making it almost inevitable they will catch the very virus they’ve been trying to protect themselves, from for all these months.
The point I’m trying to make is, being safe or comfortable is not going to get you anywhere. You’re going to have to switch things up; do something different. Remaining safe or comfortable leads you down a path of monotony and boredom. I understand some of us live for safe and simple; but those aren’t the people I’m speaking too right now. I’m speaking to those of you who aren’t happy with the way life is for you currently. Those of you who have a long list of woulda, coulda, shouldas.
I’m sure there’re going to be many who won’t agree or even understand where I’m coming from. That’s okay if you don’t. I don’t expect everyone to have the same opinion or out look on this situation. Your opinions are your own.
The only thing I want those who read this blog to take away from it is; Live on your own terms. F*** what someone else has to say! People love to talk about what you should do when they haven’t or would never do what they’re telling you to do. That’s why you have to do what you’re comfortable with. Don’t feel pressured to follow the advice of someone else because you don’t want to upset them or you’re afraid of making the wrong choice.
In the end you’re going to have to deal with the choice you made, regardless if someone made it for you.
Also if you need help getting to the stage of manifesting your dreams and aspirations, read Breaking the Habit of Being yourself written by: Joe Dispenza (Currently Reading) & Money and the Law of Attraction written by: Esther & Jerry Hicks (Currently Reading).
I’m sure there are many books out there that can help you manifest the life of your dreams, you just have to take that first step.
If your mindset isn’t serving you at the current time, you need to work on the way you think and master the art of manifestation.
I don’t want to make this too long. So I’ll stop it here.
Thank you so much for reading!! I hope this blog helps you get your life going in the right direction, if it isn’t already.
Anything is possible!!! The first step is to believe it to be so. Shadrieka Franks
I try to write only when I have something to say. Many times I write based on the way I feel. So far that has gotten me no where. I write this way because it keeps what I have to say relatable, rather than me writing about things I know nothing about. I’m not sure if many people care for blogs like this, but I created this blog to help me through some of the issues I experience and continue to experience.
In many ways this blog has become my medicine. When I first started I thought I was going to be helping others. In actuality you all have been helping me. At first I was a little disappointed that people who read my posts left no response to nearly any of my posts. But the way I felt about that slowly began to change because I’ve learned to appreciate the likes and knowing that someone has read it.
Well let me get back to the reason I chose to write today. As I stated in blogs past I’ve decided to come back and live with my mother, because I can not afford to live by myself at the current moment. I guess you could say I’m a little bit of a hippy because I don’t feel like working is supposed to take up so much of your time. I’m sure I could have been living comfortably if I would have graduated college; but I chose a different route.
Many may think I regret not graduating. To be honest sometimes I do and other times I don’t. Mainly because of the opinions of others. Honestly I never cared about extending my education through a university or college; because I know I’m a person who loves to learn. So whether I went to college or not I knew I would always have an opportunity to learn different things, because I would make sure of it.
Well.. that wasn’t really wanted I wanted to talk about. I wanted to just say that living based on the opinions of others is a recipe for unhappiness. So I have decided that I’m gonna work on the things I find important and forget about other peoples opinions of what I should do. In real time I have focused too much on the opinions of others. I’m gonna get my life back! I have too. What’s the point of having a life if you don’t live it the way you see fit?
This sounds simple enough, right?… Well, this is a simple statement but is only obtainable when you’re completely comfortable with who you are. I believe this is so hard for a lot of us because many of us have become shells of ourselves.
Too often we let the outside world influence what we do and how we move through out the world. When in reality the only person on this earth you need to answer to is yourself. Life was meant to be lived and experienced fully. But what tends to happen is we get side tracked because life is happening to us and not the other way around.
I believe that’s why I admire the people who live life to the fullest, because they don’t allow outside influences to take them off their path. Even though life throws them lemons they still find a way to make lemonade.
At the current moment I’m working on adopting this trait. I mean really, what is better than moving through the world freely, uninhibited and living life on a whim? I truly believe I reached this consciences because the first half of my life was nothing to write about. But this second half is going to be another genre.
Regardless of what others say or are going to say about my choices I have to live for me. As so many other people have to live for themselves’. Too often we allow others power over us when they did nothing worthy of obtaining that occupation.
I guess that’s another reason why I don’t care for a 9 to 5. If I had my choice I most definitely would be moving through the folds of life. Not unemployed, but earning money on my own terms.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always stood out even when I didn’t want too. In many ways I felt and still feel like Jamie Chung’s character in Lovecraft Country (Ji-ah). Aside from the killing and snatching souls (lol).
It’s a good thing to be different. But the world likes to make you think different isn’t good. I especially find this to be true when you aren’t living the role you were supposed to play. So many of us are unhappy because we have been taught only how to survive. Surviving helps you get through life, but it doesn’t help you LIVE IT!!
That’s where we go wrong. We’re too focused on making it through and not taking it upon ourselves to explore. It’s okay if you get it wrong. The lesson comes by applying what you’ve learned.
Don’t you want to feel ALIVE?!
I know I do. That’s one of the main reasons I read so many self help books. I know reading may help me come up with how I want to go about living. But it’s up to me to put what I’ve learned and continue to learn in motion.
Change begins at the end of your Comfort Zone
So… are you living the life of your dreams? Or Are you merely existing?
As always I hope your day is extremely productive and pleasant.
I want to try something different. I want to give you who don’t know how it is to live with paranoia and different phobias and fears a series.
It won’t be too different from my posts now. For the most part I post what I’m experiencing at the current time. Well…. what I want to do is check in with y’all once a week letting you know how I’m dealing with my agoraphobia and paranoia.
So allow me to get this ball rolling. I’ve always been concerned with what others think of me. Many days it consumes me to the point of paralysis. It’s a constant struggle to allow others into my mental space.
I’ve never wanted to be a fully functional adult as bad as I want to now. Over the years I’ve allowed my childhood and different experiences from it to debilitate me from being a carefree spirit.
I know I have it in me, but it’s a struggle to let go of everything I’ve ever learned growing up. It weighs on me like a truck. At times I feel like I’m losing my mind!
The sad part is the only way I’ve managed to find a release is through my writing. The people around me don’t seem to realize how deeply the energy of others affects me.
I’m sure some may think I’m crazy. But like many things it’s debatable.
Well I have to bring this to a close. I have to go back.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing these feelings, please dont brush it off. You never know how deeply what you say may affect them.
I hope everyone is starting out with a lovely Friday morning!
Let me start by saying, you’re out look on life affects EVERYTHING!!! I knew this but the more I begin to look into The Law Of Attraction it is proving to go deeper than I ever imagined. I used to believe it only affects your mood. But when you think about it deeper your mood and beliefs are what determines what type of person you become. For example: If you’re someone who is shy and slow to react, that is how life is going to treat you. It’s going to be slow to react if react at all, because of your lack of confidence.
From what I’m beginning to understand, you get what you BELIEVE you deserve. It’s all in how you think of it.
Example: I live a life of freedom and abundance. What I need the Universe has already provided.
Doubting causes that thing to appear unattainable. We all understand that when something seems unattainable it appears to be harder to get. That’s why when you see something you want you have to believe with your whole heart that nothing is impossible to accomplish. This then frees up the space for doubt to lurk around and cause you sabotage the life you BELIEVE you deserve.
If you would like to learn more about the Law of Attraction and get a book list from me. Drop a Comment. They’re always welcome.
Like you, I have stressors in life. Work is one of them. That’s why I don’t love my job. I’ve been working with child for close to 10 years now. Like I always say I love working with the baby’s, it’s the adults I have a problem with. Working with adults becomes my problem because I always feel like a disagreement is going to turn into something more than a that. So I bite the bullet and just suffer in silence.
At first it didn’t get to me as much, but over time it is starting to really piss me off . I try to take the high road but people believe because I don’t disagree or have anything negative to say that I’m a dimwit. That is far from the truth honey. I keep my mouth closed and my feelings bottled up, because I know if I was to say what was really on my mind some feelings would be hurt. Instead of me hurting someone else’s feeling mine get hurt, because through all the pain I’ve learned not to let others see my pain unless I allow them too.
Over the years I’ve gotten so good at not expressing myself that sometimes it’s hard too. That’s why I believe it’s high time for me to see someone regarding my mental health. My mother always wants me to tell her my problems. I’m sure you already know why that is a “No go”.
I really believe speaking to someone about the things I’ve experienced, and the thoughts and feelings I have is going to be a great change of pace. It might be the very thing I need. I know there’s a stigma behind talking to someone regarding your feelings and mental stability. But we all need to talk to someone every now and again.
I have yet to experience it, but it feels good to know soon I’ll be in the company of someone who has a passion for listening and helping others with their problems. Too many times I’ve tried to talk to the people around me, and they’ve either cut me off to talk about something that interests them or they use everything I say as ammo or to benefit themselves.
So this will be a really great change in pace. Maybe This will help with my anxiety, feelings of depression, my self image, and my possible ADHD.
We all go through things. What counts is how you rise above every heart break, all the physical, mental, and emotional abuse and how you choose to live life after experiencing these things. Don’t get it twisted even the strongest of us needs some counsel. So don’t believe speaking to someone makes you weak because it doesn’t.
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I’m trying something NEW. Not sure how this is gonna work out, but I’m gonna give it a try. Recently I’ve decided to become more concerned with my health. I tried to do this over the years but for what ever reason it just wasn’t working out for me. I always ended up back sliding.
What has got me feeling like this is knowing that school will be open again VERY soon and the other this being tired of looking and feeling the way I do. I really just want to be happy with the way I look. It’s not like I’m ugly or anything, but I do need to work on getting in shape and clearing my skin.
Ever since we have been on this quarantine I’ve gotten comfortable with staying home. It’s not like I was really uncomfortable any way, because I’m an introverted Empath who thrives off of alone time. So it really was like a vacation to me. I didn’t have to worry about taking on anyone else’s emotions if I didn’t choose too. That was the most lovely part about this whole thing.
Now that I’ll be returning back to work I’ve been thinking of different ways I can cope with being around large groups of people. Thankfully I found The Empath’s Survival Guide. Reading this book is helping me to understand my emotions and actions at a deeper level. It’s also helping to correct my addictive behaviors. There’s also a whole section in there about ‘Food Empaths’; these are people like me, who eat to lesson the intensity of an emotion, whether it be yours or belongs to someone else.
Beginning this book along with not being emotionally attached to anyone gives me the freedom and space to take care of me. This is truthfully the first time I’ve ever been truly unattached as far as entanglements and relationships go. At first I thought not having someone was going to be depressing, but it is the total opposite. I’ve realized I don’t want to be with anyone just to be with them. I want that type of love we see in the movies; that love that comes once in a blue moon (literally).
I know some feel my expectations are too high; but I have faith my perfect match is out there waiting on me. But first I have to experience me and come to know Shadrieka. You know, find out who she truly is, gain courage to stand in the forefront of my life and stop hiding behind everyone else and the decisions they believe are best for me. I’ve lived for others way to long. It’s time I become that free spirit I’ve always known myself to be.
From the beginning I’ve always been a person who loves people. I can remember way before my mother met her now ex-husband I was a firecracker. I said whatever was on my mind. If I like someone I said it, if I didn’t I also said so. Then my mothers Ex-husband became my boogie man.
There was something about him I did not like. I told my mother this repeatedly. You think she listened to me? No! I remember sitting in the back seat behind him or behind my Mom, and when my Mother wasn’t looking he would always stare at me. At the time I didn’t know why he was staring at me, I only knew it made me feel really uncomfortable. At that time he wasn’t living with use. But little did I know he had a key to the house. So he would do little pop in visits.
As I got older he hung around more and more. I never told my Mom this, but I always used to sleep with a bra on; many times I would wake up and my bra would either be off completely, unhooked or half on. I always felt uneasy about that.
I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I never told her. Well.. I never told her because I know how my mother is about me; and the last thing I wanted to happen is my Mother going to jail on the count of doing something to him. Also I didn’t want to take the chance she wouldn’t believe me.
Through the years many things happened. I remember waking up with my arm on fire. I had no clue why my arm hurt so badly. Once I looked down I saw bite marks on my arm. These were deep bite marks that broke the skin.
I remember at the time I told her about it, she shrugged it off, saying I probably bit myself in my sleep. It could have been possible; but the teeth imprints were different from my own.
Well let me get back on subject. I know myself to be a free spirit, because I always want to do those things a normal person would not want to do. I believe I shied away from being this way because my spirit was broken down every step of the way. First by not having my father in my life. Then by having this man in my life who treated me like s***. This man in the largest way possible laid the foundation for what I came to except and expect from men as I grew up. Then when I got old enough to date I was introduced to a slew of frogs and toads.
I was indirectly made to believe I needed another half in order to be happy. But now that I’ve been in failed relationship after failed relationship, I see now there is NO need to be with someone if that someone isn’t your match. You’re better off being by yourself. Learn to love you and stop giving your love to those who DO NOT deserve it.
Enjoyed the blog? If so, make sure to Like, Comment & Share. I would love to see how or if hits home. Also this may help someone going through something. Letting them know there is always time to get it right.
I hope you all are doing well. There have been somethings that are changing everyday. Recently I found out schools are supposed to be opening again very soon. This wasn’t a concern for me for a long while now. But knowing we will be starting school really soon is kind of giving me anxiety. Mainly because I suffer from Agoraphobia.
I try to be normal, but I’ve been suffering from this for a very long time. I developed it when I was younger, do too having a tyrant as a Step-Father. In order to avoid his stares and disrespectful language I would remain in my room for days; only coming out to eat or go to the bathroom. All though this house belongs to my mother, I always felt in order not to be picked on or hurt I had to fit into the space I was given (figuratively). Growing up feeling like I was a burden caused me to fold under conflict. I found myself bending to meet other peoples expectations of me because I had been indirectly taught to bend like the air.
It’s something you learn to do when you’re a child. I’ve seen people talk about this time and time again. I think the term for it is “People Pleasure”. You become this way because you’ve had to learn how to maneuver around other peoples emotions. Then because of your developed need to please others you have begun to loose yourself.
You may not realize it at the time, but the more often you neglect your own needs to meet the needs of someone else you’re loosing a piece of yourself. Trust me, I know. I’m 37yrs old and I have never made a big decision without input from those closest to me. As a result life has been ‘SAFE’. We all know what that means (boring).
I’m in ‘No’ way blaming anyone for the choices I’ve made, because in actuality they’re my choices. Many times I’ve used other peoples advice to justify how I felt or what I should do. So that if anything out of the way happened the full blame wouldn’t be only on my shoulders. But it’s time I stand firm in my decisions and stick to every and anything I start. If I don’t I fear I won’t make it in this world.
The other thing is; When it comes to fear I have it by the boatload. I really want to change the way I approach things, because I fear without changing I will forever be afraid to actually live.
I have people telling me everyday how talented I am. I know I’m blessed to have the gifts I have. I’m sure I would have made it a long time ago if I did what I said I was gonna do, not only with what I’m comfortable doing. Like it’s been said so many times before,
If you are one of my continued supporters I thank you for coming back. As you’ve seen consistency is a true struggle for me. That is mainly because I have a very difficult time writing if there isn’t any emotion tied to it. That’s why most of my posts have been sporadic over the years. I’m really trying to let go and just let it flow, because this in many ways is my therapy. Writing has helped me tremendously over the years. It’s so comforting to be able to get your feelings out using just a paper and pen.
During these last few days I’ve been feeling extremely off kilter. I’m not sure what it is, because the slightest change throws me off. I kind of feel like I’ve spent to much time alone. To be honest I have quite a few issues. I’m not crazy or anything like it. I just feel like I’m going crazy sometimes. I believe my problems come into play when I start to over analyze situations and people; that is something I do often.
Many times I’m not sure if I feel this way because it’s the way I truly feel or could it be I’m picking up on other peoples emotions that are around me. I find myself always stuck between 2 emotions. I’m usually pretty happy but if I’m around someone who is talking about something sad or full of anger I tend to take on those emotions. I’ve always felt that was my flaw. As far back as I can remember I was never a normal child. I always excepted people for who they were, never what they looked like or what they had; and I do the same thing till this day.
I guess I struggle with being empathic because there are so many things that come with that. Especially if you don’t know how to protect your energy. I’m sure that’s why I’m not enjoying this gift; because I don’t know how to use it. At times it helps me to develop a deeper connection with people, because I’m able to put myself in their situation and truly understand where they’re coming from. Other times it’s just “exhausting!!!”
Sometimes I wonder if my life would have turned out differently if I didn’t have the same people in my life. I wonder if I would have been this deep feeler. The other thing is my girls (goddaughters) have a touch of me in them. All three of them have displayed some of my traits. Of course they have their parents traits but I can see mine peeking around the vail. I feel extremely blessed to know a little bit of me rubbed off on them.
Lastly, if you’re an Empath and you have figured out how to protect your energy, please leave a comment as to what I can do to gain control over my life and emotions.
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You know how you start thinking of different things that you’ve been through, through out your life? Well that was me the other day. I mean I always think of the different things I’ve been through. Thing is I just don’t understand how I kept my cool through out so many different times. I remember I was working out at the gym I had a person I thought was a friend. She was with a friend of hers. I said ‘Hi” and they proceeded to walk past me. Next thing you know I feel something wet on my back.
I was pissed but didn’t do anything about it because I was so concerned with others seeing me act out of character. Ask me why, I still don’t know till this day. Or the time I got used repeatedly by the same guy. At the time I thought that was the way it was. He would leave come back, leave come back. And I would be there to receive him every time. It was my warped perception of what I thought love was.
At the time I didn’t know what Love looked like between a man and woman, so I want by the examples around me. The sad part was every example there was always heartache and pain. There was never any couple that was happy more then 50% of the time. There were always problems coming about.
But to make a long story short, I’ve realized there is much that I have to talk about. I thought there was nothing I had to offer. But when I begin to think about it, there’s plenty. My only problem is I don’t let many people into my most intimate circle. It’s hard for me to let others see me in the raw. I’m so used to putting up a vail that many times I put up one on myself.
It wasn’t until I spoke to my potential “Dom” that I realized I don’t let that may people see the person I truly am. He pointed it out to me the other day. I just thought it was crazy he knew me on a way deeper level then most people know me.
It’s something about trust someone sexual that will allow you to bare all your layers. I say that because many of my ex’s know me way better than most of my family and friends. I’ve gotten a little better with opening up, but I still have a ways to go. As I’ve said before I do this because I don’t want to taint the image most people have of me. But when it gets down to the meat and potatoes of who I am; I’m a very complex being. Hell, I’ll still figuring my own self out.
One thing’s for sure, with every blog it helps me take a step in the right direction.
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Back again with another post. Never know what I’m gonna talk about until I start writing about it. I guess I really just want it to be genuine. I understand other people would say that means I’m unprepared. but I think my realness is a plus never a negative.
The other thing, I don’t like to write a blog unless it’s something I feel strongly about or interested in. For example; recently I started having interest in astrology and numerology. Mind you, I never really cared about that type of stuff before. But for what ever reason it’s peaking my interest now. Well to make a long story short, I found out a lot of interesting things about myself. It was crazy because it was spot on!
I found out things like my Moon Sign, Ascending Sign, Life Path, and I’m still learning about other things like the houses and about Indigos, Star Seeds, Blue Rays and I believe the last one is Crystal Children. I for the most part believe things like these can be real. I just don’t have the solid proof to know it for sure and that is why I’m on the fence about it.
When you dive deep these things start to make sense. The only way I see this as not making sense to someone is if that person believed only in this physical world we can see smell and touch everything. Your consciousness begins to open and except these ideals when you realize there are other things out there you do not know anything about.
Think about this; there is a whole 65% of the world we know nothing about; 65%!!! For all we know there could be other civilizations out there. There could be millions of species we’ve never laid eyes on, people or animals with abilities we could never imagine.
This is a strong reason why I tell people to keep an open mind; because things aren’t always the way you think. I hate to be the wierdo, but I believe there are things the government and other officials know of they don’t want the general public to know anything about. So they make sure to give us just enough for us not to question what’s really going on.
That may be another reason why I don’t like the News. I don’t believe half of what they’re saying. I just think they tell you what they want to tell you; and it’s never objective. Many times if you listen carefully you can hear the judgement in they way the story is delivered.
I’ve always heard growing up; “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” That statement is very accurate. You have to keep in mind, they really do this!!! People in the Media have been trained on how to flip a story and spin it in the way they want it to be perceived.
I could keep going but I am going to end it here.
For those of you just a little curious, these are my signs and Life Path.
Sun Sign: Virgo
Moon Sign: Cancer
Ascending Sign: Virgo
Life Path: 5
Celebs who are on Life Path 5
Sir Isaac Newton
Michael J. Fox
Vincent Van Gogh
Also if you’re interested in learning how to find out your life path number, all you have to do is add your birthday numbers together.
Example: 10/20/1967= 1+0+2+0+1+9+6+7=26
The Life Path # is: 8
Well that is going to be all for today. But I’m going to continue to learn about numerology and astrology because I believe it helps me to figure out the true person I am. Just to add to that, there are people who have known me for years and still don’t really know me because I’m still not sure who I am. I guess you could say I’m on a path of self discovery. One thing’s for sure, I’m gonna have a damn good time getting to know me!
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This video was something I felt I needed to do at the time, because I was really going through. I was with this man that I thought was going to end up being my husband. But his a** had other thoughts. See his problem was he believed I was going to be that girlfriend that was not going to be capable of thinking for herself.
I know now that what he got was not what he wanted. He wanted someone that was going to depend on him 100%. Let me tell you something; that is not me, never has been me & never will be me. If I want something I go and get it for myself. I’m not going to look to anyone else to take are of me. I guess that’s just the way I’m made.
But let me tell you… I thought this was a bad thing at first, because I always heard “A real man wants to be needed and a woman shouldn’t be too independent.” I later found out that only applies to man who’s not secure in himself.
I mean really, what’s wrong with a woman wanting to secure a bag for herself? Too many times woman have depending on their men to take care of them and have been left in the end to fend for themselves. I’m not saying every man is like this, but there’s a good amount of them who are.
Yeah, but I really just wanted to bring this video to your attention. Please excuse the long pauses. Not quite a YouTuber. Just figured I would speak from the hurt and let you all know some of what I’ve experienced.
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There is something most people don’t understand about me; and that is I am only nice because I don’t know how to be anything but. I choose to be the one that is going to be there for you through your hard times because it feels like that is the right thing to do. I also do this because I want you to know that I care and I want you to give me that same thing back. But do you think a large percentage of the people I give love to give love back?… The do. But that’s besides the point.
The point I’m trying to make is, you can give love to as many people as you choose; ultimately it’s your choice. But never forget that person also has a choice in whether they want to reciprocate that love or not. I know when we fall in love or we have friends we think we’re close too we become vulnerable, because we open ourselves’ up to them. Many times allowing ourselves’ to be used in the process, because we’re trying to be there in anyway we can out of love and respect for them. The problems start to arise when we think that person cares just as deeply for us as we care for them. Then we later find out for them the bond wasn’t that deep.
What many people fail to realize is, people are going to use you if you let them. That is why you always have to reevaluate connections. It’s sad you have to do this, but it’s completely necessary. This is the only way you can save yourself from being used. Give them the same energy they’re giving you. Also if that person is more instrumental in your down fall than your success LET THEM GO!!!! Stop trying to hold on! There is nothing there for you. Life will be a lot better without their negative cloud hovering over you.
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Disclaimer: If you or someone you know has gone through or are sensitive to childhood trauma, please do not engage in reading this post.
What’s up everyone?!
I know you may think you know me from many of my blogs… But how can you know me when I don’t even think I know myself?!
I have gone through life trying to live in the shadows because I never wanted to rub anyone the wrong way. That was mainly because I grow up with someone that was supposed to be a very strong positive male driving force in my life. That was anything other than what I got. What I got was someone who broke my spirit! This person made me question who I was at every turn. Before him I was a pretty outgoing child. I had a very strong sense of self. There was no one you could put in front of me that I would be afraid of speaking too. But sense him I have felt nothing but fear. It makes me so sad to think that this man had the power to make me question my self worth.
He did not do this directly, he used the one person I love the most. His words worked at the time. I didn’t know it, but she was under a spell. It hurt at the time to know this man had such a hold of this person I loved and cared for so much. I HAT THIS!!!!! Every time I speak about this one individual it causes me to retreat inside of myself. It brings up emotions I really do not want to feel anymore!!!!
Many of us don’t realize our childhood plays a huge part in the kind of person we grow up to be. Because years later I am still that timid little girl. When I once was that girl who sparked conversations and did things without the help of anyone else. I hate to say it; but this man took my confidence from me. He made me feel naked, weak & and helpless in this world.
My Mom say I should start talking about this stuff because it will help others to relate to me; but it hurt sooo much to talk about. I know I need to be more vocal, but those are feelings I just don’t want to revisit. I understand that by facing these feelings it could help me move on and not be held back by childhood trauma, but it’s so hard to admit that this individual affected me soo deeply.
Even though it happened years ago. I still feel like that middle/ high schooler who was made to feel like they were nothing!!! I now understand why I am the way I am. He’s the reason why I don’t want to speak to new people, why I suffer from agoraphobia, also why I have a very weak sense of self worth. Most people don’t understand the type of hell you have to go through when living with someone who hates the very thought of you. This is even worse when you’re a child, because you have no where else to go.
Many people don’t know how he got in my head. He did this through years of being alone in a house with me. I was confined to my room for many days. That many times was the only place I felt safe. Don’t misunderstand me, he never touched me in that way, as far as I know; but he did talk down to me every chance he got, which was a lot. This was because my mother was working to pay the bills and he was not. So he had plenty of time to wreck my self- esteem. There was nothing I could do that wouldn’t go through him first. I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was because he manipulated my mother so bad she didn’t want to do anything that would upset him.
I don’t want to make this post too long, so I’ll stop it right here. If you would like to know more about my Step-Father and how I’m dealing with the residual affects, make sure to drop a LIKE and SHARE this post.
Just because this isn’t your story doesn’t mean it doesn’t resignate with someone close to you. Sometimes we just need to know we’re not alone.
So much has changed!!! I have so much love around me and so many people to talk too. Something I didn’t have before. Well let me rephrase that, I am able to receive the love this go around. Before I felt it was too much and needed to get away. It’s not that I didn’t want the love; Really, who doesn’t want love? I just wanted that love from a man so bad that I hadn’t realized I would except anything to be with one. That is besides the point though.
What I had in mind today are introverts; something I happen to be. The introvert thing is okay though. I’m okay with spending time alone. My main problem is receiving and being comfortable around other people. I hadn’t even thought about this for the past few months because I haven’t had to be around anyone I haven’t wanted to be around. So naturally the fear or shall I say the anxiety that comes with being around others is starting to rise.
That’s because moving back home has been like having an open nerve ending. I say that because my Mother is a very sociable person and I am not. For me being around more than 2 or 3 people is a recipe for anxiety and discomfort. I’ve always been this way. I do better in a one on one setting. I’ve tried to be that person that goes to clubs, parties and things like that; I’m just not set up that way. My anxiety is way to bad for me to be around a lot of people for an extended amount of time.
That’s why I can understand how we have people who never leave their house. Yes some of these people live in the most horrendous living conditions, but their comfortable. I’m sure some people never put in thought when it comes to seeing people like this and thinking about their back story and why they are the way they are. Well for someone like me who could have easily been a person like that; let me say that it is a struggle to get up and be around groups of people for an extended period of time. That is do largely to my tendency to over think and also because I’m extremely empathic.
So I guess what I’m is; If you have someone around you that is extremely sensitive and recluse, try to encourage them, rather than making them feel weird because they are extremely sensitive or anxiety ridden. Just to make it clear as to how it feels going around large groups of people; It’s like being in the ocean, you see the shark coming for you. You try to get away but you’re stuck in a state of shock. It’s like your mind is working overtime but your body just won’t move.
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This will let them know they’re not alone.
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Have you ever just wondered why, “Nice guys finish last”?
That is something I was just speaking about with my Dad. Never understood why the people who treat you wrong get the upmost respect and then those who actually value you get treated like something on the bottom of your shoe.
Just something I’ve always thought of that never really made any sense to me… That is until I realized we treat those we want approval from with more care than the ones we know we already have their love and approval. It’s like I already know you’re gonna love me regardless, so I don’t have to put to much effort into pleasing you. It’s something many of us do unconsciously. Many of us don’t want to make anyone feel not appreciated, but sometimes you do. It’s a common human flaw.
If you believe this to be true, please make sure to like follow and leave a comment whether you believe it is or isn’t true and Why?
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Need a soap that is all that and then some? Come checkout Lulus Lavish Lathers. That’s Luluslavishlathers.com. Come try a soap that is perfect for moisture retention. Many of these products have therapeutic essential oils. So they not only smell Lavish, they also are great for your overall being.
Take Advantage of FREE SHIPPING for purchases over $50.
I know this is a little different. I’m so used to writing posts in the morning that it seems a little foreign for me to be writing one right now, but I had to do it.
As always I have a lot on my mind. As you should already know, I’ve moved out of my one bedroom one bath apartment, about 2 weeks ago. I didn’t occupy it alone, I was living with my now ex-boyfriend. Some people may have considered it to be a little messed up the way I left that situation, but I don’t because the way he got me to agree to be on the lease was messed up.
I just say; if you’re not able to pay anything on your own do not agree to share anything with someone you think you are not able to trust totally. Right now I’m in a situation I had no idea I was going to be in. I thought once I moved out and returned the keys that I was in the clear. But now I find out that I’m on the hook for paying for any kinds of damage he may have caused or is causing in that space we both once shared. Like I stated before; I moved out 2 weeks ago and he’s still there. The thing that has me responsible is the fact that I was the primary for the signing of the lease. At the time I didn’t know what that meant. I learned over time that I am responsible for any and everything that happens with that apartment. Lesson learned! Ill never be doing that again with anyone other than my husband.
I guess sometimes you just have to experience things for yourself. I’ve done that! I’m just hoping this will not be a costly mistake on my part. I’m hoping that he will do the right thing and either move out or renew the lease with only him on it.
Why we could not share the same space any longer.
He ended up being something completely different than what I expected. When we first got together he made it seem as if he was the sweetest person in the world. Then his claws started to show 3yrs in. We had to end up moving, because of constant break-ins.
He told me to checkout a couple different apartment complexes. I finally found one I loved and want to move into. I didn’t know it at the time but he was milking me for what ever he could. When I look back I realized there was nothing I did not do that he asked. I spent so much money trying to make sure he was happy. In return he lost that appreciation he once had for me.
By the end of the 1st year of us living in our new apartment that we both signed for, he wasn’t talking to me. He made me feel as if it was a privilege for him to sign on for another year, At the time I thought it was just a rough patch, not thinking much of it. Then maybe 2 weeks after renewing the lease he pretty much called it quits.
By this time I was over the having to kiss his ass so he would talk to me. So I left it just as it was. I guess he thought he could keep talking to me like I didn’t matter and I would stay. I knew that day I had “NO” intention of spending another miserable year with his lame, boring, trifling ass!
So…. I just say if you are thinking about moving in with a girlfriend or boyfriend, please learn from me. Do not! Make sure you can obtain a space by yourself first.
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There has been so many things that have changed. I guess you can say I kind of reverted back to my old life because I’m living with my mother again. During this last week there have been so many ups and downs. Over all I am happy, because it means that I can really focus on making my business grow. As I’ve said many times before; I know this is not going to be a cake walk. This is really going to take some real hard work and dedication. I just don’t need other people trying to come in and take what I’ve taken the time to learn and make into something for themselves.
There are people in this world who are straight forward, honest, and loyal. Then you have other people who are always trying to find an easy way to make a come up. Trying to get information or free labor from those people who only have the purest intensions. Using them for their brain or what ever else they can offer. This seems like the same type of person I keep getting reintroduced to over and over and over again. I’m tired of it!
One thing is for damn sure! I’m not going down that road again! I’m tired of being that person who continuously wants to believe that all people have an honest or loyal bone in their body, when some just don’t! Every time I allow myself to think like that I always seem to be the one coming away feeling like I’ve gotten taken advantage of. This time around I’m not gonna be a fool about it; because I’ve worked to hard to create the business that I have to just work for someone else for discounted rates.
Some people believe that they have the gift of persuasion. They believe they’re so good that they can talk you into doing something for them without you even realizing it. The one thing a lot of people don’t understand is; I don’t play about my money or my business, If you think you’re gonna get one over on me, think again. I’m trying to make something of myself too.
One thing I will never do is try to fast talk someone into doing something that is going to majorly benefit me and not them. That is not the way I roll. Sometimes I’m too honest for my own good. That’s why most times I sit back and let people talk. If you listen close enough you’ll hear exactly what you need to hear in one conversation, especially when it comes to business.
Since I’ve been back home I realized I’m not to fond of the bull****. I rather for someone to come at me straight. It is true; When you get older some s*** you just can’t tolerate anymore. And I think I’ve hit my wall.
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Have you ever been that person who completely immerses yourself into what other people want?
That was me. I always was making myself uncomfortable for other people. Partly because I thought no one would want to be around me if they knew how I really felt. I would push down my feelings constantly for fear of hurting someone else. I still do this, I just don’t engage in the behavior on a regular anymore. Partly because I’ve realized I wasn’t living for myself, if I constantly did what everyone else wanted or thought I should do.
The true problem comes in to play when other people think you should conform to what they think is best. What happens with that is when someone else is coming up with a solution, many times they’re going to come up with the solution that best fits their needs. Many times if you’re a caring and compassionate person you often times think how is this thing going to affect us all, not so much how can I get what I want from this person without even caring about their overall situation.
For example: Let’s say you had a friend or family member who came to you asking you to sign for a car. You don’t have to pay for it but they want to use your information to obtain it. Then when you tell them or make it plan you’re not going to do it, they cut you off and pretty much blame you for not getting said car.
See the problem is I’ve given these people the feeling that they have dominion over me and THEY DO NOT! This is the life I have to live and the choices I have to make. If I had someone who said NO to me for something I asked for I would be a little upset but I wouldn’t stop talking to them because of it. But I guess that is just me. It took a very long time for me to get to this point. Before people would ask me to do things and I would do them and pay the consequences later. When these things were going on, do you think the ones who got me into these situations tried helping me to get out of the trouble I got in? No! When ever I went through something I had to get myself out of it or call my family to help me out.
Don’t miss understand what I’m saying, I have friends I know would have my back and then there are others I thought were there for me but were only there to see me fall and to take from me in the process. Some people are only friends when they reap benefits from being associated with you.
There are some people I knew weren’t going to be loyal, but I still gave them the chance to show me a different face and they failed. On another note, I’m going to try to move past this and concentrate on the many things I’m sure will be coming my way in the future.
Had to vent. Hope you did not mind. eliminate
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Also if you’re tired of having dry cracked skin every time you get out of the shower; give Lulu’s Lavish Lathers the chance to eliminate that problem for you!
Hope everyone is having a great summer. I know there isn’t much you can do, because we’re supposed to be social distancing. But do you really believe people are going to follow those guidelines? They should, but we know they won’t because humans have always been a species that enjoys and thrives from being with other people. Without having others around you slowly become depressed, and we don’t want that.
At the current moment I’m trying to get reacquainted with my old room. It’s a struggle. I have so much S***! I have no idea what to do with it all. As we all know when we live in our own we start buying things to fill up that space; but now I have way to many thing for this small space. I really don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I’m grateful that I have a mother that will let me come back home if I need too. I just hate CLUTTER!!! It’s driving me CRAZY! I cant focus on anything if I have too many things around me, and that is what I’m afraid of. If I can’t focus I can’t work and create new things. I’m going to have to down size majorly if I want this move to work in my favor.
Anyone have any suggestions?
Sorry this blog is short. But I’m about to go and tackle this monster.
I’m feeling pretty good today. There are so many things that are right with the world as there are so many things that are wrong with it. It all depends on your perception of the things around you. It’s so easy to see the negative when the positive is staring you straight in the face. I really never understood why that is. For that positive thing to stand out it has to be more positive than the negative is negative; if you understand where I’m coming from.
But other than positives and negatives, today is going to be the last day I’m going to be at my current residence. I have until the end of the month to move but I figured I would give the last week of peace to my roommate. For you who don’t know we started off in a relationship then the act he had been putting on the first couple of years became too much for him and that’s when he started showing his true colors. For a long time I thought I was over reacting when I had feelings of isolation and being smothered by his controlling ways. Then I got conformation from those around me that I was not crazy for thinking and feeling the way I did. They say what I so desperately did not want to admit; that he was controlling and not the right fit for me…..
I was going to say, ” I wish they would have said something sooner” but I understand why they did not; because they knew I wasn’t ready to hear it and as a result of that I would have possibly cut them out of my life. Then that act would have had me deeper entangled into his web of misery and control.
For the longest time I thought he was so controlling and judgmental because he wanted the best for me and because of the love he had toward me. Later I realized it was for his own peace of mind. See; he had been cheated on serval times and as a result he became paranoid and believed I would do the same. So going in I didn’t realize his foundation was tainted by all those past experiences he had with other women. See it didn’t matter how transparent I was through out, because in the end he accused me of cheating anyway.
So inconclusion I just want to say to the women and men in relationships you have to constantly prove your loyalty; you might as well quit while you’re ahead. I may be wrong but once a person comes into any kind of relationship not trusting the other person, people or thing they’ll never learn to let down their guard and let you in. It’s going to take a hard lesson to open their eyes. So don’t waste your time or energy repeatedly proving yourself to that person when you’ve done nothing wrong to begin with.
I really hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. As always I enjoy creating them for you. Please do me the favor of sharing this blog in hopes of helping it to grow.
I believe the body is only a house for the spirit and soul. It makes who were are tangible, so that we’re able to experience things we wouldn’t experience otherwise. I mean if you really think about it, to be alive is a blessing that stands alone. I understand sometimes life can feel that it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but when you start to realize the things you’re able to do because you have it, you’ll be singing another toon.
Things you can do because you have life i.e breath in your body
Execute your vision
The sad part is so many of us take life for granted. We focus more on the negative things than the positive. I know sometimes it’s hard to see anything positive in some situations, but many times you have to learn to push past it so that life becomes something you want to continue living. Because once you begin to realize you are in control of your destination no other opinion will matter. Learn to trust in you, F*** what everyone else has to say, it’s about what you want and need.
I truly hope that you’ve enjoyed this blog. To read more blogs like this subscribe! It’s at no cost to you. It would just help to know that my writing is appreciated. After all I’m here for you.
Hope you are finding happiness and fulfillment where ever you are.
There seems to have been so many things that have begun to go right! I might feel that way because my perception changed. I have started to see the changes that are coming in to play as necessary obstacles I have to experience to get to my next bridge in life.
I was so focused on loosing what I had that I couldn’t appreciate what is soon to be. Granted the good things that have happened are small in comparison to the growth I’ve experienced over these 5 years. But I know that I can no longer be a back set driver when it comes to my life, decisions, energy, and my level of comfort are all things I left up to other people to decide. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized “NO” knows what’s best for you but you.
See what I was doing was allowing myself to become complacent. At first I was excited and things were good, then as time went on things slowly began to change. If you have no idea what I’m speaking of, I’m talking about my failed relationship. The one thing I have to say, I’m a queen at adapting to other peoples moods. I will adapt so effortlessly that I won’t even realize that I’ve adapted to fit into that persons pocket of comfortability. I say this because it is soooo true! For the longest time I was allowing myself to be uncomfortable in order not to make those around me feel that same exact way.
It really does become a disease to please, because when you’ve done it so much that you don’t realize when you do it…. it’s a problem; that needs to be fixed!
Now I’m moving on to what I believe will become something bigger and much better then my previous situation.
To all the grown folks who had to deal with people looking down on them or clowning them because you had to move back in with family, I commend you. It’s not easy admitting you failed; or not even that, you have a bigger vision that has a greater possibility of coming to fortition if you don’t have to stress so hard about bills and other things that come up when you live on your own. The help is needed and definitely appreciated. So don’t get stuck feeling like you failed because things didn’t work out like you thought.
Like I keep hearing:
“Maybe that wasn’t the vision God had for you.”
Hope you enjoyed this blog and that it also brought you some kind of comfort, if you happen to be going through a big transition in your life.
At the moment I’m learning different things I can use to add to my brand. As a result of trying to grasp more knowledge on marketing I got this book by Kubi Springer. So far it is proving to be a really great read/ workbook.
I’ve learned, many things we don’t think twice about when we see a logo makes it recognizable when we see it again. Also that every color you decide to use for your Logo plays a huge part in how it’s perceived. Also that emotive words are key factors in getting potential customers to associate a feeling with your brand. Because how your customer feels is the main concern when marketing a business.
I’m hoping by reading up on marketing that it will help me to make some sales. To be honest I know what woud help me make sale. The only thing is I hate being on camera and doing YouTube I don’t really have to be on camera, but I would have to produce content and by producing content that will help me to gain mor followers and help people see how relatable I am. I’m just extremly camera shy.
I’ll provide more once I know more. Hope this was helpful for those who are starting a new business.
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Also if you’re tired of having dry cracked skin everytime you get out of the shower; give Lulu’s Lavish Lathers the chance to elimate that problem for you!
I feel a little bit better today. Not much has changed but the way I feel. I don’t feel as irritated and angry. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I’ve realized it’s good to hold your true emotions back sometime.
Well any, there is so much to be grateful for. Sometimes the ways of the world get in the way. You don’t realize how blessed you are because you have something in your life blocking you form that realization. That was me yesterday. I just felt inconvenienced and wanted to shut myself off from the world. I have to admit though, that is me on an everyday basis. Not because I don’t like people, mainly because I want to protect my energy.
People that I’ve grown up with and even my mother thinks I’m a little too sensitive because I take on other people’s problems as my own. I’m sorry! I don’t know how else to be. I’ve always internalized all problems, even if they weren’t mine. I understand that is something I need to work on. That is one of the main reasons I can’t be around certain people; because they will drain me of my energy. Whether you realize it or not it takes a lot of energy to really care about the next person’s problems.
At times I felt that I was an emotional dumping ground. That’s why I’m trying to prepare myself for when I move in with my mom. I know that I’m not going to be able to be home too often because she likes to invite people over; then wants me to come out and greet those people. She just doesn’t understand how uncomfortable that is for me.
Some times I get into moods where I don’t want to talk to anyone. When I’m around her, I have to talk to the people around her; if I don’t, I feel regretful of not saying anything to the other person, because I’m stuck thinking about the way I made them feel because I didn’t acknowledge them.
To be honest it’s a viscous cycle. That’s one of the main reasons I’m a person that like to stay to myself. The only time you’ll see me around other people is when I have to be or when it’s people I know really well and I consider them my friend. Not that I don’t have times when I can talk to complete strangers, because I can also do that; and have lovely conversations with them. I just believe over time I’ve allowed my shyness to dictate the way I live my life.
I have tried working on that, and I’m gonna to continue to work on that. The bad thing about being shy is never feeling free enough to do what you feel, and it’s not good in business either. That is another reason I need to work on getting passed this stage.
Do you know anyone who has this problem? And if that person is you, how are you helping yourself through this process?
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So much is going through my mind and so many things I’m feeling right now.
There is a lot that’s gonna to take place this month. I’ve tried to keep quiet about it; I can’t help it though. There is so much you have to deal with when you and that person you were with decide to go separate ways. It makes it even harder when you were living with the person. Then not only that, I feel like my emotions are everywhere!
The move is really putting me through it. I mean “Yes, I’ve lived with my mother before.” But this time is going to be a lot different, because the way I have come to expect things is not going to be the way that it’s going to be over there. I’m sure I’ve said this plenty of times, but this is going to be a hard pill to swallow. Not only that, my shop isn’t doing that well.
I’ve always been the type to take care of myself. I was hoping that this was going to be a step in the right direction. Not saying I’m giving up on my store, it’s just a little discouraging not to have any sales. I get that it’s going to take a while for me to build up trust and a clientele, I’m just so impatient. That is the same thing with my book. I’ve tried to sale my book for over a year now and only a hand full of people have bought it.
It feels like ‘No” matter how hard I try I can’t catch a break! At the moment I feel like I’m hemorrhaging money. But I have to remember I’m always in my feelings when my finances aren’t in order.
If you have any encouraging words, I would love to hear some right bout now. Let me know you hear me and not just reading this because it’s something to do.
Like I say, “I never know how to start these things out.” There is so much on my mind. When is there not?
Recently I was thinking of how you have people who come into your life that main intentions are to use you. You don’t see it at first because you’re trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. It makes it even worse when you’ve known that person for years and realize you were nothing more than a check on their to do list.
I myself always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That’s why I got taken advantage of so many times growing up, not just in relationships but with ‘friends’ that turned out to be mere acquaintances. At the time I couldn’t see clearly. I thought helping others out was a requirement if you called that person your friend; so I did what I could, most times. Many times giving too much of myself for the benefit of others. At the time I thought everyone cared just as much about me as I cared about them. The older I become the more I realized, that wasn’t the case. Now I know everyone wasn’t raised like me.
There are people that I’ve grown up with that will never see me more than where I came from. It hurt to come to that realization, but it is what it is. There’s nothing I can do about it. All I can do is live my life the best I know how.
It amazes me to know there are people that will take any bit of compassion they feel or see from others and turn it into a weakness. For many years I’m sure those around me thought because I’m compassionate and kind that I’m weak. That could be no further from the truth. See my compassion makes me that much stronger; because whether you realize it or not it takes strength to be vulnerable. Strength comes from the love, care, devotion, and compassion you display towards others, regardless of circumstance. It’s easier to be mean because you’re basically shutting yourself off, then only allowing those in, you believe won’t hurt you.
Don’t misunderstand, I get why some people live their lives that way; I just can’t. I love to spread love so even though I can’t stand men right now, doesn’t mean I’m gonna be a bitch to them because of my past encounters with other men; just means I’m gonna be more selective about the type of men I choose to interact with. Same thing with friends, I’m not gonna cut myself of from making new friends. I’m just going to be more selective about who I call my friend.
I have to say; “I love the excitement opening an online store is giving me!” You never know when you’re going to get a sell, but it’s a lovely surprise when it happens. Yesterday I did my firsthundred dollar sale! I’ve sold that much before, but this was the first time I sold that much at once in my shop. I packed that order so fast!
Then I had a friend of mine tell me how much my products have helped her with her skin condition. I initially started making soap because I wanted to increase the health and look of my skin; had no idea that it was going to be some peoples medicine! I looove it though! Love knowing I’m creating something that not only feels good but also helps with skin irritations.
I feel so blessed that my products serve a bigger purpose than just smelling good. I can remember being in my early teens, asking those around me about my skin and how it looked or felt. I’ve always taken pride in that, because I know that your skin is one of the biggest factors of your attractiveness. Without healthy skin you don’t appear as attractive and healthy to others as you could with healthy glowing skin. When your skin is poppin’ so is your confidence and health. Many times you can tell how healthy someone is just by looking at their skin.
Also many of these skin conditions can be rectified through topical applications and herbs. That’s why so many people are extremely pleased with my product; because it not only leaves your skin feeling smooth and smelling amazing, it also gives your skin those nutrients other soaps and detergents fail to.
Hope you enjoyed finding out why I started and why I continue to do what I do. Many will say medicine is the only way to go for a lot of these skin aliments; but I don’t believe that. I believe the earth provides us with everything we need. I’m not saying I’m a 100% naturalist; I’m only saying your medicine is your food.
There are so many things that are changing around me. There are also so many trials I have and am going through. With in the next two to three weeks I have to get my stuff together and prepare to move. The life I’ve grown accustom to will have to be shifted a little, because I’m doing what most entrepreneurs do when they’re trying to get their selves off the ground; moving in with my parent.
You have to be a little uncomfortable during the process. I knew it was gonna be hard work. I can’t say that I would want it any other way. As most know, I never wanted to work for someone else’s company. I would always say that I’m gonna have my own business. Even then I knew I did not like taking orders.
As I got older I started to find myself. It took me a lot longer than most, but I’m happy the process has finally took place. I knew I wanted to provide something to the public, but for the longest time I couldn’t figure out what that was. I new I wanted it to be either smell or for skin.
I thought for a long time about making a perfume. Then I thought who is going to buy this? No one knows me! Then also about the money that would have to go into the process of making it. Then I thought about creating paid webinars. That only came to mind because other bloggers said that is one of the only ways to make money.
One thing’s for certain, I become physically debilitated some days when having to work with others. See I have extremely bad anxiety; I’m always letting my thoughts run away from me. In my case that isn’t a good thing, because I have the tendency to over think and take offence when there’s no reason too.
But now I have finally figured out what type of business I would like to have. As you may have seen, I chose skin care. What I’ve started with are all natural soaps. Since I’ve started using my own soap my skin has become extremely smooth and my skin tone has evened out a whole lot!
Side note: I remember being at work with my pre-k babies and they would always rub my arms. I thought it was weird. I had no idea why they always did that. That wasn’t the only thing, they also loved to smell my skin. As we all know, children do not lie. I later on realized they did this because they liked the way I smelled and because I have extremely smooth skin; and I owe that to my natural artisan soaps.
I have always been obsessed with having smooth, even toned, healthy skin. I think I found my calling. I love what I do. Now the test is getting others to believe in me too.
These blogs are for me, but they’re also for you. I never want to stop motivating you to reach for your dreams. If it’s something you want to do, all you have to do is put in the effort.
As some of you know, I have a New Shopify store. My goal is to educate the masses on the importance of using natural products rather than synthetic ones. This post is a new post I created today for my online store. If you have time or are interested in trying something that is going to make your skin feel soft and smooth over time , go check out LuLusLavishLathers.com.
Good morning hope you’re doing well.
Too many times we eat, put things on our skin and participate in things that may not be the best for our health. Known fact: most of us had very busy lives before this epidemic. So I’m sure you were putting things in your mouth and on your skin that weren’t good for you. Many times because you’re so in a rush, you really don’t see any importance of caring or you believe the developers of these things are looking out for your best interest.
I started out believing these companies cared about the people they were selling their products too. The sad truth is; many companies only care about the $. Like the say, “Cash is King.” I have a different take on that. I believe if you care about your customers and provide them with something that is a healthier option that won’t promote the very diseases we’re trying to fight off, they’ll be more inclined to shop with you.
Many of us know that our skin is the largest organ on our body, but we still continue to bathe with these detergent based soaps and body washes. For women, I’m sure it’s because it smells good, and for men it’s pretty much the same. The only thing about scents and women’s feminine parts is; if they’re not natural scents they usually through off the pH.
pH-In chemistry, pH is a scale used to specify how acidic or basic a water-based solution is. Acidic solutions have a lower pH, while basic solutions have a higher pH. At room temperature, pure water is neither acidic nor basic and has a pH of 7.
Next thing you know you’re walking around smelling like a bag of dead fish.
I’m sure you don’t want that. So instead of mindlessly picking up a soap or fragrance because it smells good, turn it around and if you can’t pronounce half of the ingredients, you know that it isn’t for you.
The products LuLu’s Lavish Lathers offers are always designed with you in mind. All ingredients used in our soaps are made from organic and therapeutic resources. That’s why our motto is ” Soaps that cater to you” because these soaps not only cleanse, they hydrate, condition, and feed your skin the vitamins it needs to thrive.
Disclaimer: Today’s topic I understand can be a little sensitive. So if you’re easily offended or the discussion of race offends you, you may want to leave now.
Good Morning Everyone,
I know the last week hasn’t been a pleasant one. There has been so much going on in the news with the George Floyd Killing. I didn’t watch the video. For someone like me who is very sensitive to others feelings and trauma; I physically couldn’t watch it.
When is it gonna STOP?! The killing for no reason, the harassing, bulling, taunting, lying. I never understood why some won’t just let us live harmoniously in sync with one another.
To be honest I don’t think it will ever change. I’m glad that things aren’t as bad as they once were; but there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. Theses men, women and children out here are loosing their lives’! The sad thing is; people only mourn them for a couple of days to a couple of weeks, then they’re forgotten. At least until there is another black man, woman, or child killed again for some stupid idiotic reason!
Many Black people say: “Why do we need White allies?”. We need allies from all ethnic groups, but we particularly need ones who are White because they’re the ones with universal respect. With there acknowledgement of prejudices happening against those of other ethnic backgrounds it could light a fire under those who feel our lives have no value.
There’s so much to say, but I fear the words escape me at the moment. So I’m just gonna tell you how I feel when going into ‘White spaces’. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a person who loves people, but love my people more. I believe everything about us is beautiful; from our many times coily hair, to the magical melanin in our skin, that can make us dark as night. I can go on and on about what I love about being Black.
But with all the positives come negatives; the constant fear of being pulled over, or the uneasiness of having someone follow you around the store, believing you’re going to steal because of your skin color. These are things White people don’t have to worry about. There’s a s*** load more of things Whites don’t ever have to contemplate; all because they’re the “Right” color. Loosing their life because someone felt threatened by their tone.
The more the reality hits me of how unequal we are, the more it saddens me that the only thing that make me different is my color. It saddens me because there are a lot of people out here who while kill a Black person before they would ever think of harming an animal. Many times I’ve seen how others are so quick to standup for Animal Rights, but when it comes to Black People it’s like saying, ‘F*** YOU! You should be happy that I’m even letting you breathe right now!
I just wonder if those bigoted Whites were to get treated as they treat us, how would they feel to loose a loved one because the officer felt “threatened”? What if they had to prepare they’re children to be extra nice and polite, all because they wanted to make sure they came home alive. Or they lost someone of their ethnicity every month; how would they feel? What if they didn’t have the privilege of doing whatever and saying whatever to whom ever? Just a question, that deserves an answer.
I’ve already made this too long, so I’ll stop here.
I know there’s a lot going on in the world. But through it all, I hope you manage to find a way to smile. Granted it’s very easy to lose sight of the great things that happen everyday. For what ever reason, it seems like the bad always overshadows the good. For some of us that’s because we’re wired to expect bad things and others are dealt a sunshine and rainbows hand.
Circumstance a lot of the time can make or break a person’s take on life. That’s why someone that seemed to be so happy go lucky changes and becomes a “Debby Downer” sometime. But positivity is also something you have to work on daily, so you can help your mind to rewire itself. After time you won’t have to consciously remind yourself to be positive, you just will.
That’s why whenever I feel like I’m being stuffed in a box, I have to find a way out. Just incase you hadn’t realized, having control over your finances almost guarantees you to have more control over your life. Why do you think there are so many people these days starting up companies and finding ways to work independently?
Although for some, this would be too large of a step; and that’s okay. For a longtime I knew I wanted to have the type of control that came with running my own business. I can’t tell you how many ideas I’ve had over the years. A lot of them didn’t see the light of day. But for the ones that have, some of you have bore witness to them.
The first thing was this blog. I have to be honest, after 3 years this is still just a hobby (Something you like to do but your loss is greater than your gain.)… Then I decided to write my first book Loyalty, Lies, and Betrayal. I’m sure it would have sold better if I put some money in the advertising. For the ones who have read it, I’m told all the time how good the book is. I really cherish that…. Then I started YouTube. I’m not saying I’m done with it, I’m just extremely shy so it takes a lot for me to get on camera and talk about anything. Then there was my Podcast. I started it, but I realized it’s good to have a co-host because the commentary doesn’t have the chance to get boring. Now, I’m 150% focused on selling all natural handmade soap. This was one of the biggest investments I’ve ever made.
I’m not giving up on the things I’ve started before making soap. God willing, I’ll one day master them all. I just have to stop letting myself get in my own way. I hate to say it, but I’m sure some of you are probably going through the same thing i.e Not knowing when to get out of your own way.
For this company I’ve started, I’ve grown overwhelming passionate for it. I will do everything possible to help educate more of us on the health and the importance of having healthy skin. As I say on my store’s Website LuLusLavishLathers.com:
I started making soap when I realized a lot of soap isn’t made from natural resources. I found that out when I started digging more into the health world, hoping to find better ways of being healthy. So as a result of wanting to be healthy I started going to Wholefoods and bought natural soap. Mind you, this was the very first time I had been introduced to a soap that not only cleanses, but feeds your skin in the process. I wanted to recreate something like that; and the great thing now is, I can.
Come and try a bar. Every soap is made with natural and organic ingredients. Many are made with essential oil, such as peppermint, patchouli, chamomile, cedarwood, tea tree, eucalyptus, and a long list of other essential oils. The important thing with using these type of oils to add fragrance to the soap is; it also adds a long list of benefits.
Many of us don’t know this, but if you’re allergic to something many times that’s because of a blockage in the body. Do you know why many blockages start? Because of feeding ourselves things that were never made for the body to intake in the first place.
What’s good with everyone? Hope you had a great week!!!
There’re so many things going through my head at this moment. But the one that sticks out the most is moving and the whole situation with that. I know if I was to tell you what I had to go through (emotionally) throughout this past year you would probably tell me to run. I would say you’re probably right. I’m not saying I want to stay. Well let me rephrase that, I would love to stay; if it meant I didn’t have to live with “Him”.
I don’t know what it is, but the more the days pass the more dislike and disgust I gain towards him. Let me stop lying, I know why I don’t like his ass. You want a list? Here it goes. He’s controlling, complacent, insecure, deceitful, manipulative, secretive, unprogressive. Believe me the list could go on, but I’m gonna stop it right there.
I’m sure the question you’re probably asking is, “If he was all those things through out the years, why did you continue to be with him?” I would have to say, I was being lazy and also a little afraid. Afraid of ‘What’, you may want to know. Afraid of the unknown. I was happy knowing I had the control of who showed up at my house. See, not many people knew where I lived and I loved that. If I’m being honest, I enjoyed it because there weren’t unannounced pop-ups or people needing me all the time. I had more freedom because I didn’t have to worry about looking into they’re faces’ when I said “NO”.
If you don’t know, I’m the type of person who will do all I can to help the next person out without any concern or thought for myself. I’ve done this so much over the years. Believe me, it’s not that I want to be like this, this is just the way I am. I’ve been trying to learn how to put myself first. But I’m afraid once I move back home, I’ll be putting my needs on the back burner once again.
These days I know I can’t do that. But I feel if a person makes me feel bad enough, I’m gonna go right back to my old ways. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing things for the special people in my life; I just don’t want to feel obligated too. Let me be far, it’s not them it’s me. Every time I’ve ever said “No” in the past, I always felt like, they would through me away. I know that’s an extreme thought, but I can’t help but think like that. I think the reason I feel like this is because I’m a big “People Pleaser” and with that comes a lot of mental and sometimes emotional turmoil.
Many times when you’re this type of person you fight with yourself, because you know you don’t want to do the thing they’re asking. A lot of times you do it anyway, because with this disorder you are always looking for acceptance and validation; cause deep down you don’t believe that you’re as great a person as everyone keeps telling you, you are.
The other thing about being a ‘People Pleaser’ is, many times the ones who’re doing the asking don’t realize how much of a heavy burden they’ve put on your shoulders by asking you to do something. It’s not their job to know, because in actuality the problem lies with you. People Pleasing is a hard thing to shack. I mean you’re agreeable even when you wanna cuss a b**** out! It’s too much sometime, but hey that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Question of the Day: If you are a People Pleaser, how do you cope with it? Or If you once were a People Pleaser, how did you change that and learn to put you first?
Today is a good day! There’re things I have to be thankful for everyday, I know that, but today just feels like it’s gonna be a great one. Have you ever felt like that?
There’s plenty I have to do, but I’m not gonna let that overwhelm me. I’ll get to my desired place in life in do time. Patience is truly a virtue, because I’ve seemed to have run all out of mine. I now understand what so many others went through when first starting something that could potentially leave a legacy.
The seriousness that comes with starting something you eventually want everyone to experience at least once is a little heavy to think about in it’s entirety. I want to succeed so bad! I know it’s gonna be a fight to reach the type of status I’m striving to accomplish. Ready or not I’m coming. This work ethic is no joke and never will be. You only get out what you put in, and I intent to put everything I have into climbing that huge mountain of success.
The same goes for you. If you’re passionate about doing something you want the whole world to experience and also want to benefit off of it, there’s no shame in that. People only value things that carry a price. So if you put your time and energy in to something, never feel bad for charging a fee. I’ve learned from those have come up before me, that’s the only way others will learn to respect your craft.
Another thing, if you have a defeatist attitude, get rid of that A.S.A.P!!! You are never gonna get anywhere feeling sorry for yourself. Also what is it doing for you? I get you have to through yourself a pity party sometimes, but if you’re depressed more than you’re happy, some things need to change. Work on turning your life around so you can live the life God has for you. He never meant for you to be down and out for most of your days.
Inclosing, we only get a few days on this earth. Why spend the few good days you have miserable and unfulfilled? If life is hard for you right now look for that ‘Out’. You may not see it if you’re not looking hard enough.
Hope this week has been a good one for you. I know it’s been a very busy one for me. All week long and even before that I was overwhelming myself with the things I knew I had to do, in regards to starting my Shopify store.
I’m not gonna lie, I thought it was going to be easy, I gotta tell you it’s not. Maybe if I was dropshipping it may have been easier, but it’s a whole nother ball game when you’re putting your products out there to be viewed, sold, and critiqued. I want to say, “I don’t know why it is that this is such a trial for me?” But I know exactly why; because it’s something I put my efforts in, I love doing it and I don’t want to hear the criticism that’s gonna come with it. I know for a fact there’s gonna be criticism, cause with what ever you do there’s always criticism. Sometimes criticism can be an opinion, and other times it could be a fact, either way I’m open to it. I understand getting feedback is always a good thing, because it makes you want to do better. Although sometimes it may make you want to give up. When you feel like that, that’s the time you need to push yourself through it.
Just know I’m scared. I’m scared of failing. There’ve been other things I’ve tried my hand at, some I’m currently working on. But this is the only one a larger number of people have seemed to take interest in. Please don’t think I’m dismissing you (my followers a.k.a my beautiful people). I’m only saying this is the only way at the time I see I can make money while doing something I love.
As many of you know I enjoy writing, but this isn’t paying the bills. I feel bad everyday I don’t check in with you all, but I’m working towards something I see someday becoming something bigger than I could ever imagine. Please understand if I could be here writing posts, without financial concerns, I would be writing everyday all day. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury. So all I ask is for you all to be patient with me. Starting up an online store isn’t easy.
Also this whole shy thing I have going on, something I’ve dealt with ever since I was a child; Is something that hinders you a great deal in business. What I’ve learned is the extroverts are the ones who seem to do very well in business because they’re not afraid to be the center of attention when need be. Many times for them it doesn’t matter that their product may be garbage; the most important thing is how well you can sale yourself while selling the product. When it comes to business it’s all about trust.
So at this time I’ve been trying to find a less debilitating way to become more extroverted. I know it’s gonna be a struggle, I just hope in the long run it comes full circle.
Everyday lived is a day filled with blessings. To see your blessings, sometime you have to slow down. I know it’s hard because we all want instant gratification. But have you ever heard the saying, “Good things come to those who wait”? I never really understood or believed that to be true, but the older I get the more it rings true.
All week I was thinking; “How am I going to survive the summer without work?” It brought me close to tears, because if I don’t work I don’t eat, let alone I won’t be able to pay my bills. It frustrated me so, because I’m trying to put all my effort and energy into this business I’m starting. I really don’t want to take away from that. But if I have to, it is what it is.
One thing I’ve realized during this pandemic is there are so many great huge things I want to do, and there’s no better time than the present. We constantly put off our dreams to survive. But what if we made a change and started dreaming to live. I get it may sound like a dead end, but life would be at least bearable then. At least for those of us who go to work to just pay bills.
I get I don’t think like the average person. For me there’s always a positive way to see things. Whether that be removing myself from that situation or building on it. If you allow yourself, you could see your way out of anything that isn’t serving you. The problem is; we allow the world to take our dreams, hold them captive and for some of us they never are released. Many of us remain prisoners of our society and never give another thought to that dream of doing something better and bigger than ourselves. All because of the road blocks that seem to appear every time we attempt to do something great.
I have to say; I almost fell pry to it. I wanted to give up. Then I realized God wouldn’t have given me these visions of doing something bigger than myself if he didn’t want me to execute his plan. Most of all, what I’m doing now is causing me great happiness. Like I’ve said before; I know many of us don’t have the desire to have our own. Not because we don’t want it, but because of the workload that comes with having and owning your slice of the pie. Not saying laziness is the cause because it isn’t. It’s the life altering obligations some of us have that sometimes cause us to miss our mark.
Inconclusion, find that thing that brings you fulfillment. Whether that be having children, being a wife or owning a business; just live, stop surviving.
As always, I hope everything is going in your favor.
Well today I was thinking; “What should the topic be today?” I figured I’d write a little on the different challenges I’m facing starting my own business. I have to be honest, I didn’t think this day was gonna come. Technically I’m still working on making it a reality.
I can’t begin to tell you how happy it feels to be doing something I enjoy so much!! Even though I enjoy creating soap there are some things I don’t enjoy, now that I’m starting a real business; and that’s all the legal things that come along with it. You have to make sure that you are completely covered just incase someone tries to come for your throat.
The other thing is coming up with a name. I currently have a name; it’s Heavenly Scents by Shadrieka. I’m going through the process of changing it because 1.) it’s too long & 2.) A lot of business’ have the name Heavenly Scents. Also I’m sure because that name is so widely used I would get lost in the shuffle because Heavenly Scents is such a popular name.
If you have any pointers on the next steps I should take or want to share any of your experiences with starting your own business; Please leave a comment.
Also if there’s something you can do well and get paid for it, do it! STOP MAKING EXCUSES!! There is no better time than the present. If you keep waiting you may loose your chance. Stop waiting and start doing. Make those dreams come true. Life is filled with road blocks. It’s your job to either burst through them or pave your own way. But never allow a person, situation, or circumstance to dictate the things you’re capable of accomplishing!!
I had no clue what I was going to talk about today. Once I got back home my topic seemed to fall right in my lap. I seem to talk about this individual a lot, but you have to understand I didn’t know the end was near. I also had no clue of his narcissism; it reared it’s head a couple of times. I just wanted to be in love and wanted him to be Mr. Right so bad that I paid no attention to it.
Many times I’ve said being in this relationship made me feel like I was drowning and I needed to come up for air. The thing that made me stay was my own insecurities of feeling like I wasn’t as valuable on my own as I seemed to be while in a relationship. Also seeing the type of things other women have gone through, and have remained in that relationship with that man who disrespected them, did nothing for them, cheated on them; the list goes on. It had me believing that I shouldn’t expect too much from a man because he would always come up short.
The reason for this post today was because my Ex a.k.a roommate did something that triggered my jealousy. Then I had to quickly remind myself we are no longer together and there’s nothing for me to get upset about. After all, I realized what he’s offering, I do not want.
But I’m gonna be honest with yawl, for a long time I thought I was the problem. I really use to pick myself apart when things would never go the way I planned while dating. Now I realize there’s nothing wrong with me. I just keep allowing the wrong kind of man to come in my life and turn s*** upside down.
This last time I have to say I was a little more guarded. I really believe I saw the red flags subconsciously, I just wasn’t ready to come to terms with them yet. I have to say though I’m in a better place mentally. If this was before I would have been all broken up about this current situation I’m in. One thing I know for sure my mother didn’t raise a weak woman. People ask me frequently how I’m able to live with my Ex without talking to each other. I’m not gonna say that it’s easy because it isn’t. It messes with me mentally everyday. But I’ll be damned if I move when my name is on this lease.
Part of me can’t wait for this lease to be up, but the other part of me is dreading that day. It’s only because I’m so use to having my own space, and once I move I won’t really have that anymore.
One things for sure, I’m gonna make something out of this faze of transitioning. God willing I’ll be in my new fully furnished apartment by 2021, working solely for myself.
Something I’ve learned during this time is; never sit still. They piss you off, use that anger to better yourself. Don’t worry about the next person they may be entertaining. You may not want to hear that right now; especially if you’re currently going through a bad break-up. But it’s truly something you need to hear and think about. Also don’t let your glow up be because you want to get back at them. Do it for you. You deserve everything this world has to offer and so much more .
True you may get a little jealous when you see all the couples out there. I just say; you never know what the next person had to go through for that person to be with them or be married to them. Keep in mind you’re on the outside looking in. Not saying there are no great relationships out there; I know there are. I just have decided that I’m not gonna settle for just a piece of someone when I know there’s someone out there who’s willing to give me their all.
It’s Fun Friday!!! What are you doing today?.. I wish I could say that I was doing something fun, but the fun days won’t come until all my efforts of making it have been recognized and I’ve been compensated.
Some of you may think because I think this way that money is the only thing that matters to me. Well…. that’s not entirely true. What matters most to me is the freedom of working for yourself. That’s why I push myself so hard. If I don’t push me who will? I have to have that ambition to make it in this life. There’s no more mediocrity for me anymore. I plan to live this life to the fullest.
The only way that seems possible is by making my own path and obliterating the one others believe I should follow. I’m too talented, gifted and smart to be put in anyone’s box. Hell… you should feel like that too. Don’t let no one tell you what you can and can’t do. I’ve said it before, but I’ma say it again for the ones in the back, “Do you boo!” Forget about what other people think you’d be better off doing. Live your days the way you choose. Have fun, make s*** loads of money, ride an elephant, visit the Bermuda Triangle. The point is to live freely and unapologetically. Don’t leave this earth regretting you didn’t do this or that because you were trying to make someone else happy. Who’s responsibility is it to make you happy?…. YOU!!!! That’s who.
Stop making your happiness about someone else, because happiness comes from within. That goes both ways, you can’t make someone internally happy; that’s up to them not you.
So this weekend throw one back for me. I hope you enjoy yourself. Hell, get in a little trouble while you’re at it. Not too much though.
Also just want to think all of ya’ll that mess with me the long way. I know somedays you may not know the Shadrieka you’re going to get, but you still keep coming back and I thank you immensely for that.
Question of the day: Moving back with your parents; how would you feel about that after experiencing real independence?
S*** is getting real, real quick. I knew this day was coming, I just didn’t realize how fast it was gonna get here. The last time I checked I still had five months. At that time 5 months seemed like a lot of time to get my s*** together. But as we all know when you’re in a time crunch, days roll around like minutes, and months go around like hours.
So now I’m about two months away from the final day of living in my lovely first apartment. I’m sure once the day comes for me to move I’m gonna be so emotional, because I really created a bond and a love for where I live. There were so many days coming home from work an event whatever the case was; I would be so happy to just go home. What made me so at peace with being home alone is the fact that I saw it as an accomplishment. Also there was a peace in coming home knowing I was the boss of me and didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want too.
For years before I moved out of my mother’s house I thought I would never be able to move out. Now I know I’m capable of taking care of myself. The relationship didn’t work out, but at least I can say I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in the process. It almost brings me to tears thinking of how much I pushed the real me down to fit into other peoples ideal of me. I have way more to learn, but I know I’m well on my way to becoming the free unbound spirit I know I was always meant to be.
Believe me I know it’s a hard task to be 100% you and not care about the judgement and dirty looks you may get from others because you choose to do things differently. Especially when you’re a highly sensitive person. Many may not understand why being highly sensitive makes being a free spirit that much harder; I’m gonna explain it to you.
Highly sensitive people like myself and many others don’t always do what’s in their heart and minds to do because they’re extremely affected by the thoughts and feelings of the people around them. So if you tell an HSP something is going to make you unhappy or upset, they’re gonna try to do everything in their power to keep you from experiencing those emotions. That’s why a lot of Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) or sometimes Empaths put their wants and needs on the back burner because we’re more concerned with making others feel at ease over ourselves.
I know moving back is not going to be an easy transition, but God willing it will be a productive one. One thing I definitely don’t want to happen is; loosing sight of my goals. Which is producing & selling more books, making and selling more soaps, having a successful Podcast & YouTube. I’m sure I left something out. If you can’t tell, I want to live a life of abundance in everyway.
I guess I feel like this because I spent so much time caring about what other people thought about me and what I do. For years depression and anxiety took over my days, making me paralyzed to the different things I wanted to try and accomplish. I was so overwhelmed with how others viewed me I gave no thought to how I viewed and felt about myself. As I write this I feel the tears wanting to escape, because not that long ago depression and anxiety were ruling my days. I’m still a work in progress. I still have those days when I feel sad and anxious. But you know what gets me through?…. Knowing I have goals to accomplish and how good I’m going to feel when everything I’ve been working for comes to fortition.
I apologize for not posting for the last couple of days. There’s been so much going on. A couple of great things happened to me this weekend though. Wait for it… I MADE MY FIRST HUNDRED DOLLARS AS AN ENTREPRENEUR!!! I can’t begin to tell you how good that made me feel!! And to know they love my products and the way they feel on their skin, is a plus.
I’m finally starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. When I say having the goal of living life on your own terms is hard, I mean just that. There is so much that goes into getting other people to believe in you and what you stand for; it’s a very hard task indeed. You have to build relationships, and not shallow ones either. They have to know that your intentions are pure and that you want the best for them, not just their money. There’s almost no way you’re going to get support from your peers if they know nothing about you or your brand. That’s a very crucial lesson I’ve learned in my attempts to sale books and soap. It just seems the soap is working out a little better than the book did. Believe me, it’s not because the book wasn’t all that and then some, because it was. I just know selling soap would be way easier, not to say that I’m done with writing because that’ll never happen.
The thing is, more people care about being clean and their skin than they ever would a book. So all that passion I had for writing, I still express it through my blogs but my creative thinking goes into my soap, for the time being. Cause like I always say, ” I don’t want to work for anyone anymore.” Before I just didn’t see the way I was going to exit the life of working for others. Now I have that “Out” and I thank God for it.
Well you should know there’s no way I’m gonna to end this post without speaking about the products I sale. At the current time I only sale soaps, some are all natural with only 100% essential oils as the fragrance, others are mixed with pleasantly scented fragrance oils. Also the base for all the soaps are made only with oils from the earth; such as coconut, olive, canola, and a slew of others.
I chose the natural way because I decided a long time ago that my living wasn’t going to impose on other living beings. I’m still a work in progress, but with every passing day I learn a little bit more. I’m happy I found soap making, because it gave me that creative release I needed. As a result I’m also able to give back to others by making soap that is cruelty free and great for the skin.
I don’t want to make this too long, so I guess I’ll stop here.
Question of the Day: If there was something you could sale or offer to get out of the Rat Race we call life, what would it be?
A lot of us don’t see the point in it anymore. I guess you could say I would love to be married without having to be legally bonded to the other person. Like they say marriage is a contract. I don’t know the specifics, but there’s no way I’m gonna let someone make money off of me.
I can’t lie though, I would love to be married for reasons other than security, insecurities, or finances. I’m some what of a romantic, so the idea of someone choosing to spend their life with me is a flattering thought.
I understand decades upon decades ago, it was neccessary and sometimes mandatory for women to get married to men of a particular stature because they needed security and financial support.
These days that’s a thing of the past. Even though I’m sure there’re many who still get married because of a person’s economical status, it’s less of a requirement.
Earlier I was reading a post on “Marriage”, if it was a thing of the past or if it was still necessary. The person’s stance on the matter was “No” because they believed it had everything to do with needing something from the other person.
In this post the writer made it seem as if being married is a sign of weakness. But from what I’ve experienced it can be a beautiful fruitful union if both parties are willing and ready to put in the work.
What’s sad is, people have been taught and conditioned to believe if you need someone in your life, you’re weak; that’s far from the truth. The real strength comes when you’ve been hurt over and over again and still have the strength to love and be open and honest with your other half. That’s why when most refer to marriage they say things like, “When two become one” or ” Your other half?” They say this because there’s an unseen security that comes with being in great marriage, where you understand him and he understands you.