Being a HSP (highly sensitive person) has its ups and downs. I sometimes hate the fact that I am so sensitive because situations and people get to me a lot easier than I would like. By being such a sensitive person I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. That can be a good thing at times but other times it’s just not needed. I don’t always want someone to know my core feelings. But it’s hard to hide that when you are an extremely sensitive person. I’m sure that most of the things that I have done all through my life were because of the type of person I am. Sometimes I wish that I could turn the emotions off and not care so much about what the next person thinks of me. I think when people get to know me I come off extremely weak and that is not how I want to be seen. I want to be able to stand up for myself and not be taken advantage of because of my niceness. But that is a hard thing to do when you have learned to put other peoples feeling before your own. If I had a fairy god mother and she was able to grant me one wish, that would be it.
Some where down the line I learned how to nurture and care for everyone else and in the mist of that I forgot about myself. The sad thing is that its a common thing that women do. I believe most of us were born with souls that can withstand sacrifice, but for only so long. Sacrifice and conflict has the ability to make any person strong until it breaks them beyond repair. I understand some things we have to go through so it can make us stronger. But could someone please tell me why life gets so hards that you literally feel like you have to struggle to take your next breath? Why can’t life be filled with love, wealth, and fun new experiences; instead of heartache and pain?
The one thing that I have learned time and time again is; you can’t look to find your happiness in another person. The more you do that, the more you are going to get hurt over and over and over again. Sometimes it’s not that the person wants to hurt you. It’s just they don’t know how to be loved and give love back. Who knows why that is other than them. One thing to always keep in mind,”Never spend your life devoting yourself to a person that is not willing to change to become a better person for you”. Also if there is something you don’t like about yourself change it or learn to except and find the beauty in that flaw. Never allow it to affect your self-esteem. Whether you believe it or not people pick up on your self-esteem being low and they play on that. That alone gives some people the green light to try you. All because they want to see how far they can push you before you push back or they want to use your insecurities to help them feel better about their self.
Whatever the cause it’s never right to use someone as your stepping stool to place yourself on that pedestal.
Shads Short Stories 