Can I pose a question?…. Why are relationships so life changing? In most cases they’re most life changing for the woman. I’m sure there are men out there that have had their life changed by being with the woman they chose to be with. Don’t mean to leave you out, but there is something weighing on me heavily.

I never understood how the woman has to walk away from her family when she decides to get married to a man. You see this playing out all over the world. India, China, Yemen, Egypt, it doesn’t matter where you go, this is what you see. I thank God I’m not in some of those countries, because the way some of those men treat their women…. Let’s just put it like this, I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it being a wife to many of the men in countries such as these. I also understand many times it’s about circumstance. A lot of the time the girl or woman is married off to bring the family wealth. Other times it’s do to tradition, but it’s almost always not the woman’s choice. That’s why I thank God I was born in the States. Although there are a lot of things wrong with this society, the good thing is you are able to live a freer, purpose filled life here.

I guess what I’m getting at is, How is it we can live freely here but some still choose not to? Examples include: people in abusive relationships, individuals that are mentally enslaved, weighed down by circumstance, life revolves around others acceptance, and the list goes way further than that. When I was younger, I thought it was a must to be tied to someone else. The older I get, the more I realize that it’s more of a choice than a must. There are so many men and women out here, with people they could care less about.

Most relationships these days are more for monetary gain or comfort. A lot of them are not about being in love. Most girls are taught to either make a way for themselves or get a man that will make that way for them. I was one of those that was taught to make my own way. I guess that’s why I’m so hell bent on making it. Even though I was taught to work hard and have my own, I still love the way a good relationship feels. Although I could most definitely hold my own, there’s something to be said about being with someone and building an empire together. That’s the type of relationship I would recommend to anyone. It feels good to know he/she has your back and you have theirs. That is a thought I enjoy basking in. I’m not saying everything should be shared, still keep a little stash for a rainy day, because nothing is guaranteed to last forever. But it’s nice knowing that your other half is that and much, much more.

I’m telling you, if your in a relationship only to feed your needs and wants, your missing out on everything you could possibly have with that right man or woman. To many of us settle, because we think that it doesn’t get any better. The truth is it does get better. You have no idea how beautiful a give and take relationship can be. The problem is a lot of us don’t know our self worth and are not willing to wait for that right man or woman.

If you think about it, there are so many other things you could do while not being attached to someone. For one, you could work on you. Learning your self worth is vital before getting into a relationship. Reason being, you have an idea of what you will tolerate and what you won’t. When there’s no sense of self worth you’ll deal with almost anything, just to have someone say they love you. Tyler Perry said it best, “I rather be in a corner with a puppy and a gold fish, then be with somebody wondering what they there for!”


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