Everybody Needs Love

This may be a little off topic, but I was thinking of how everyone has an opinion about black women, especially the black men that share the same melanin with us. There are so many men out here who feel dating a black woman is a last resort. I have a couple of questions for you:

• Why is dating a woman who shares something so intimate as your struggle unappealing?
• Did you not love your mother?
• Do you secretly believe you’re unlovable and unattractive? Is that why you don’t find women that share physical and emotional qualities with you attractive?
• Are black women deemed unattractive because we remind you of the real problems you’re trying to run away from when you date, marry, love, or impregnate someone of a lighter complexion?
• Or could it be what others believe; constant manipulation over the years has turned us against each other?

I understand some men just prefer a woman that looks least like them; sometime for no particular reason. But the men that say they want to marry outside of their race because they want children with loose curly hair, light complexion, green or blue eyes; or because they have this notion that all black women are ghetto and have little to no etiquette or those who feel black women represent the struggle in every since of the word.  I just wanna say that every black woman is not the same. There are so many men out there whether they be Black, White Spanish, Indian, Chinese, they will not date certain women because of what they heard about them. Many times it’s not because of things they experienced, it’s merely based off of something someone else said, or one bad run in with a woman of a race different than their own. How is it possible to judge a entire race on one encounter with someone who doesn’t share your ethnicity, culture, religion, or sex? What people need to start realizing is that everyone is an individual, not every white person is going to act the same, just like not every Chinese person is going to act the same. Everyone has free will, that means we all have the right to choose how we are going to live this life and who we’re going to spend it with.

I remember years ago a family member asked me why I liked dating a specific culture. She made it seem like there was something wrong with the type of man that I chose to date, and because of that I tried dating different types of men, but something about me and them just did not mix. So I went back to dating the type of man I felt comfortable with, and I have to say; 4 years lately I do not regret my decision. I say that to only prove that you are the only one who knows what your heart needs, if it’s someone that doesn’t share the same culture, skin, ethnicity, or whatever; so be it. You love who you love, but not loving women of your race because being with them reminds you of hard times, is a cop out. Love who you love, but let the love be real and authentic. So many people these days only marry and have children because they want something from the other person. I believe the only time to get married is when you have her back and you know she has yours, and there’s love and understanding there; the same goes for when you have children.

I also would like to add, don’t deny the chance to get to know or date someone because they’re not what you would typically go for.  You never know they could be exactly what you need.