Thoughts, Venting

Not Feeling It

Hope everyone is doing better than me this morning.

I’m just gonna say it…… I’m not feeling it.

I don’t feel like being in anyone’s face today. I really just want school to be over. I’m thankful for the job. I have to keep saying that, because I know how easy it is for your complaints to cancel out your gratitude. But like I stated on previous posts, “I know I was meant for a whole lot more than this.”

In all my years on this earth, I’ve never had a job that I’ve loved let alone liked for more than a month. I always try to figure out whether my reason for not liking it is do to my mental battles or because the job  really isn’t a fit for me. To be honest I could fit in almost anywhere, because I work hard where ever I go. But lately working hard doesn’t give me the same feeling it use to. I use to feel like I accomplished something. But now, all I feel is empty. I know that is due to me working hard for others but never really receiving any kind of promotion or accolades because of my hard work. I’m sure some of you have been there. You know, doing all you can to show you appreciate your job and that you’re grateful to be working. The only problem that I’ve come to realize about this over and over is; when your boss realizes that you need the job, they begin to treat you that way. If you haven’t experienced that type of treatment I pray you never do. That type of treatment is usually void of respect and consumed with their needs. After a while, depending on what kind of person they are, your needs or concerns get canceled out all together. They start to believe what ever they decide, you will be okay with. So they don’t bother to ask you. In many ways it could be considered your fault they’re treating you that way.

I’m sure you may not think it’s your fault, because you’re the one providing the service and doing your job to the best of your ability. But one thing you have to keep in mind, people treat you based on what you show them. Not based on what’s right or wrong. So in retrospect, most people are only doing what their designed to do (take advantage of the weakest link). 

I had way more to say. But I guess I’ll save it for another post.

I hope you have  beautiful, life changing, positive day.

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