We’d been together for years then. Me loving you, you not loving me.
I was too young to realize that was the name of the game. You did everything to show me what we had wasn’t real. But I didn’t want to believe I f***** up when I chose you.
I refused to believe what we had wasn’t meant to be. Even after all the mental abuse you inflicted upon me, I still loved you. Wanted so bad to give you the babies you said I would or could never have.
You see, at that time I didn’t realize God was setting me up for something better when he showed me I could have children; just not with you. I could have had your children, but he didn’t see it fit. I thank him for that. At the time I didn’t know what I was setting myself up for, but he did. I’m thankful for the things you taught me.
Even though at the time it hurt like hell to let you go. My first love; the one I gave my whole heart too. The same one who was a friend at times and in an instant was an enemy. Friend because you knew how to make me laugh. Many times I think that’s what held us together as long as it did. But we both know we weren’t suppose to be.
My heart was wide open. All I wanted was to be loved. Maybe because at the time I didn’t love myself. But I’ve learned, you can’t expect others to love you the way you deserve if you don’t know what that love looks like.
After all these years, I can finally say I’ve found someone who loves me like I love them. Everyday I wake up I thank God he put this man in my life. I even thank him for you. You know why? Because him placing you in my path helped me to recognize the real thing when it came.
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Shads Short Stories 