I want it so bad I can taste it

Working toward something just to get put off and start working on something else. There had been times when I was told what I wanted to do in life was not obtainable. I understood where these people were coming from, but this was my dream and there was NO way I was going to let someone tell me that I can’t get out of this life what I truly want.

For a long time I let what people told me dictate my actions. In many ways I’m still allowing peoples opinions to dictate my actions. Worrying how they would feel if I didn’t follow their advice. But it’s time for things to change and my life to take a new direction. Living for people has gotten me nothing but disappointment and a life that I’m unhappy with.

Let me be brutally honest; I followed what others told me to do because I was too afraid to listen to my own thoughts and what God had to tell me. Over the years there has been so much that he has given to me and I have done nothing with. There have been whole novels that he’s given to me in my sleep. Ideas I’ve been too afraid to act on, because it required me to be a lot more extroverted than I am initially.

Over the years there have been so many things I’ve tried. Money I’ve paid. All because I did not want to work for anyone; and that is still true today. Everyday I have thoughts on what I could do to become my own boss. As I’m sure you see there isn’t anything that has panned out as of yet. I’m sure that is do to my short tension span.

The one thing I know I would love to do for the rest of my life is write. But if I’m honest I know that I won’t be able to half ass writing. It’s not that it’s hard to get paid for it, it’s more of being a writer that stands out of the crowd. When you’re able to do that you have a better chance of better pay, more opportunities and recognition.

The only thing I’ve constantly have been working toward this whole time is getting paid for what I love to do. I’m going to continue to work at it. I’ll be trying to figure it out until I die, because I know that is what I was put here to do.

If there is anything you feel nagging at you, you haven’t done because you’re afraid of what people will say; go ahead and do that thing. It’s going to keep bothering you until you do it.

As Always