Short stories

Summer Time

What’s up Everyone?! I hope life is treating you kind.

As most of you may already know, I work for a school. Have been with the school district for a good amount of time. I’ve been faced with a dilemma. Which is; Am I going to be returning next year? I’ve been teetering on the line of entrepreneurship for a very long time now.

You know wanting to work for myself, but not putting in the hard work it requires to do so. Well, all of that is about to change. I’m taking this summer to really take the time to learn and work as an entrepreneur. As I stated before, I’ve been so afraid to do this for sooo long. Nothing has changed, I’m still afraid to take this chance on me. The difference this time is I won’t have a job waiting for me in the wings. I have to take this time to get my life together. There’s zero room for slacking off.

I will truly miss everyone that I’ve had the pleasure of working with. But it’s about time I start living my life for me. You see, I’m that person that has missed out on so much life already, because I’m more concerned with the feelings of others than I am myself. I’ve always been this way. But the older I get the more I emerge out of this confining shell that seems to morph more into a prison everyday.

I compare my shyness and social awkwardness to a prison for the mere facts of not doing many things because I’ve always wanted the approval of those closest to me. I never wanted to go against or have anyone be upset because of a decision I’ve made. For a long time I felt I couldn’t bare the thought of being seen as anything other than pure and kind. My main goal was always to be the favorite. And I felt if I showed a difference in opinion the love and kindness I received from others would be no more.

The crazy thing is now everyone closest to me is actually starting to get to know who I truly am. For so long many of them only saw pieces. That was my fault. I never showed my true self because I was always afraid of being judged. I’m still afraid of judgement. But as they say; “Life’s too short to be worrying about the little stuff”. That’s why it’s no better time than now for me to start living in my truth.

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AS Always

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