I know it’s been a long while since I’ve done a post. Reason being, emotionally and mentally I was going through some things. Nothing extreme, just something I needed time to deal with. I’m not going to say everything is resolved, because it isn’t. I just really needed to let you all know what’s going on with me.
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time… and I know if I was a lot more consistent things would have taken off for me a long time ago. I guess you could say that I’m always thinking about things taking off because I really want to get out of the rat race that is the 9 to 5. I understand there is going to have to be a lot of hard work going into what I really want to do. I also understand the way I operate currently is not the way I can continue to operate. Nothing has changed in all my 39 years of being on this earth because of my lack of consistency.
The sad part is, the only time I feel motivated to do anything is when I’m faced with doing something I don’t want to do (i.e. going to work today). The time that I got off from work helped me to further realize I’m too much of a free spirit to be trapped in this way of life.
Before I could say it was fear that was holding me back. That’s because fear really was something I allowed to take over my life. But now I can not use that excuse any longer. Now it’s more of me doing what’s convenient. And we all know nothing great comes from convenience.
I know I’m not the first and damn sure won’t be the last person to have this problem. Hell, you may be dealing with this also. Just in case you don’t know what I’m talking about- I’m talking about wanting a certain type of life but deep down not feeling or believing you can have it because to you it may be unrealistic to obtain or you don’t believe you deserve it.
I want you to understand something…. you can have the life of your dreams. There is nothing too good or out of your reach. I’m not believing that is true for you and not me. Even though it may read as so.
The thing I’m working on now is consistency and trimming down the things I can do that won’t feel like too much. Also I want to start having fun. At this point of my life having fun is a big deal for me. Letting go and enjoying life anyway, is another thing I’m working on. I’m over being concerned with what others do and how they feel about me. Says the woman who has been following the lead of others her whole life. Trust me it is really unfulfilling here.
You’re not alone. You may not have that dream life you always want it. But as long as you have air in your longs you have the opportunity to create it.
So what are you gonna do?