Settle?…… Yay or Nah

Good Morning, lovely people!!!! I hope your day is going as good as mine. Everyday I get to wake up and have a better day than the last is a good one.

First of all, being single has its perks. I would be lying though if I neglected to say that I didn’t miss having a significant other. I do miss it a lot of the time. But I rather the person I’m with be the right fit for me and not just any ol’ body.

In my opinion that’s the problem with many relationships in the past. Being married was the thing to be. I’m sure it still is this way in some of the other countries, but it’s no longer like that here in America. I thank God for that. Because there were a lot of not so equally yolked marriages back before the 80’s and 90’s. Many women and men got married because they believed they had too. The other thing about getting married was having to settle down before you’ve even lived.

Getting married before you’ve ever had the chance to know who you are is not something I agree with. Clarity in my opinion comes when you’ve had the chance to sit with yourself uninterrupted; not having to focus on anyone else’s needs or wants, but your own. I say that because there are so many of us who have allowed outside forces to dictate who we love and why we love them.

I believe if we were to really do some deep inner work we would not allow ourselves to go through half the B.S we do. Most dating and relationships are a learning curve. That’s why so many of our early dating and romantic relationships don’t work out; because we aren’t clear on what we want. Truth be told, when we’re young we’re looking for only the physical (most of us anyway). We want all that other good stuff, but we haven’t quite learned how to look beyond the physical to get to that person’s heart (yet). It isn’t until we’ve gone through some tough connections, that have allowed us to see the error in our ways. Not everyone with a good heart you’re going to be attracted to; not every F-boy is going to be handsome.

Many times you’re gonna have to take one for the team. You may get lucky, you may not. But one thing is certain, you’ll never know unless you take the chance.

I Holla