Have you had those days when you’re trying to find some happiness or at least focus on something that is capable of taking you out of a depressive state of being? At the current moment that is my reality. The problem is; my fixation of uneasiness with others. I’ve always felt I have to be the peacemaker.
Have you ever had times you’ve felt you had to be the peacemaker? If so, Why? Who gave you the job of making sure everyone is alright? The older I get, the more I realize; you can’t dictate what happens and people’s feelings. You mess up when you believe you can control people’s emotional state.
This is for all my People Pleasers. We try to control other people’s emotional state and situations with pleasantries. We know how to be charming enough to have a situation or person play write into the outcome we want. A lot of the times we’ve done this so much we don’t know how to break the cycle. The other thing is; it’s emotionally and physically draining to constantly be aware of what everyone is feeling. There are a couple sad parts about this state of being. But the two that come to mind are the emotional weight of trying to make sure everyone is okay. The other is feeling a deep sense of depression when someone isn’t okay with you, and it doesn’t have to be someone extremely close to you. The main focus is, “how can I be okay with myself.” That’s what it should be anyway.
The problem with being a People Pleaser is the constant need to focus your attention on everyone else. Many of us believe we do this because it feels good to make others feel good. It does feel good to make other people feel good, but you have to have balance. Other people can’t always be your source of happiness or peace. You have to learn how to create this feeling for yourself. So that you know how to center and reset your emotional meter when it goes off.
You do this by trying new things and deciding what you wouldn’t mind trying again. Like skydiving, dancing, bumper cars, writing, reading, traveling. Try something at least once by yourself.
Just remember life was given to you to live, not to solve other people’s problems. You’re worthy of enjoying every minute that has been given to you. Being a Pleaser of many is not your God given job. So learn to let it go.
Thanks so much for Reading!!! Have a Beautiful Day!!!