Monotony

Good Morning. I hope your day is starting out with a bang!

Today is not the day for me. I wish that we still were on spring break. It was so nice not to have anything to do and to actually enjoy my home. For 1 whole week I was allowed to just be and I took full advantage of that.

Now we’re back to the old mundane work and class schedule and it has been nothing but stress, deadlines and responsibility. Three things I do not care for. But I know without at least two of those things there would be no kind of order. But the question I continuously ask myself is; “Why am I always the one who feels like I need to take on the brunt of the load?” I guess I’ll never know.

The other thing that gets me is when people meet me or get to know me and they always tell me; “Never change.” I know that is a compliment. But I can not tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself; “There is something wrong with who I am. I need to be meaner and tougher in how I deal with others. I usually come to this conclusion because someone has taken my kindness for weakness. By this time I’m ready to lay hands, because I’ve held back the way I truly felt about them for so long that now that built up aggression has turned into something a little more toxic.

I guess you could say my personality is a breath of fresh air to some and a repellent for others. Don’t get me wrong I know not everyone is going to like me in my lifetime. There are going to be some people I just don’t care for and those who aren’t going to care for me. I have to accept that’s the way it is sometimes. Then move on with life and know what others feel or think about me is not my business and is not gonna stop me from living my life as I choose. The only way it has power is if I allow it too.

The things In this blog I’ve expressed or common occurrences for a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person/ People Pleaser). The only thing I can say is we have to allow life to kick our ass a time or too so we can realize it’s not the end of the world if someone doesn’t like you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the post. Thanks so much for reading.

Have a wonderful day!