empowering

Marriage?

What You Should Know About Child Marriage - David O. - Medium
The bond between two who have decided to become one.

Question of the day: Is Marriage still Necessary?

Marriage…..

A lot of us don’t see the point in it anymore. I guess you could say I would love to be married without having to be legally bonded to the other person. Like they say marriage is a contract. I don’t know the specifics, but there’s no way I’m gonna let someone make money off of me.

I can’t lie though, I would love to be married for reasons other than security, insecurities, or finances. I’m some what of a romantic, so the idea of someone choosing to spend their life with me is a flattering thought.

I understand decades upon decades ago, it was neccessary and sometimes mandatory for women to get married to men of a particular stature because they needed security and financial support.

These days that’s a thing of the past. Even though I’m sure there’re many who still get married because of a person’s economical status, it’s less of a requirement.

Earlier I was reading a post on “Marriage”, if it was a thing of the past or if it was still necessary. The person’s stance on the matter was “No” because they believed it had everything to do with needing something from the other person.

In this post the writer made it seem as if being married is a sign of weakness. But from what I’ve experienced it can be a beautiful fruitful union if both parties are willing and ready to put in the work.

What’s sad is, people have been taught and conditioned to believe if you need someone in your life, you’re weak; that’s far from the truth. The real strength comes when you’ve been hurt over and over again and still have the strength to love and be open and honest with your other half. That’s why when most refer to marriage they say things like, “When two become one” or ” Your other half?” They say this because there’s an unseen security that comes with being in great marriage, where you understand him and he understands you.

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As Always 

empowering · Feelings · motivational

Stand your Ground

Good Morning my Beautiful, Beautiful People!!!

How are yawl  doing on this Marvelous Monday?!

 

I’m sure a lot of us are still going or are a little crazy because of this quarantine we’re under. Don’t worry it’ll get better all in time.

Well… you know there’s always something I want to bring to you all’s attention; and that’s manners. What happened to them?

Back in the day the South was known for their strong stance on manners and using them. But as time passes it seems manners are quickly becoming something of the past.

What got me to thinking about this is a conversation I had with my Mom, just yesterday. I was speaking to her and she mention how men used to treat women with respect; open doors for them, offer a helping hand when they realized something may be too heavy to lift.  Now days…. women are left to fend for themselves. Many men have forgotten or either put down the practices that classified them as men, in the first place. A lot of them will watch you struggle with bringing the groceries in or fixing something around the house before they ever part their lips to say,

Need help?

Many times that’s because they have no romantic interest in you or they’re used to you and really don’t care about putting on that front like they care. Honestly it seems like most men these days are only trying to help you out if they’re trying to get your number. That is unless they’re an older Gentleman who was raised in the manner of treating every woman with respect and knowing the role of a man.

For example: Ladies have you ever dated someone who when you first started dating they did everything we know a man should do; you know like pulling out your chair, opening the door for you, paying the tap, help when the situation calls for it? I can keep on going but I’ll stop there. My point is, they start that way and stop once they get what they’ve been working for or once they’ve figured out you don’t know your worth. This is especially true if you are not the type of woman that holds a man accountable. The sad reality is they’ll cater to you, but only if you make it a requirement.

That ‘s why I feel so many women are going through the problem of having a man respect them and remain loyal, because… women out here are settling for less.

Step Your Pussy Up Step Your Game Up GIF - StepYourPussyUp StepYourGameUp TsMadison GIFsStop being pushovers! You have to stand strong in what you want and need out of a relationship, cause if you don’t he’s gonna take you as a joke and play with your time and your heart; And we can’t have that; can we?

Birds With Arms Hell No GIF - BirdsWithArms HellNo HellNah GIFs

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As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Be Your Own Kind Of Beautiful

Good Morning!!

There was something I was thinking on heavy. That was attractiveness and how much we depend on being attractive. There are so many doors that’ll open for you if you are extremely attractive. At times it can be debilitating  to think that someone can become more known and successful than you because they are what others want to look at or look like.

Beautiful Black Women - Posts | FacebookI say be your own kind of beautiful; it’ll pay off in the end. Eventually people will be looking for something more than how attractive the next person is. If you’re content  or what you’re about is appealing people will gravitate to you, it just takes time.

I’m currently going through this predicament now. I have been going back and forth trying to figure out if I really want to be a YouTuber or just write. The more lucrative decision would be to do both, but lean more on the YouTube side. The only thing about that is; I’m not the kind of woman most would find intriguing. So I’m sure that getting Subs is going to be a struggle. I just have to determine whether I’m ready for it or not.

The struggle is real - Passed out dog | Meme GeneratorDon’t get me wrong, just because I’m not what most would want to look at or look like doesn’t mean I’m not going to take my shot and make something out of my Channel; because I definitely am…. The same should go for you. If you’re someone who wants to do something and hasn’t because you’re afraid people won’t approve because of whatever; think about you and how it’ll make you feel. If it’s going to bring you closer to happiness or make you happy, go for it. Damn everyone else! 

That’s why the higher power a.k.a God made us different, because we all have something  to bring to any and ever situation. So never be afraid or unwilling to show other people what you’re capable of, live your truth. You’ll feel more complete when you do.

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As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

The Pressure!

Good, Good Morning, My Beautiful People!!!!

Hope everyone is doing well and finding different things to keep you busy that’ll pay off in the end.

Have you ever felt that you were trying to be your true authentic self, but there’s something holding you back, you just don’t know what it is?

I’ve felt that way for a long time. There are things I would love to do but don’t because I’m so concerned with how people would perceive me. I’m sure a lot of us go through these feelings on a regular; but it’s up to you to not let them take over your actions.

Ever day I have tried to be more of myself. I tell you, it has been a whole lot easier because there hasn’t been many expectations. Mainly because I’m not around a lot of different people everyday since this quarantine started. In many ways it has been a great thing for me because I suffer from extreme anxiety; always have ever since I was a little girl. And as you may already have guessed I’m an introvert; so spending time by myself is A okay with me.

But, the great things that have come out of being under quarantine are being able to spend time with family and really getting to know me. There’s so much I didn’t know about myself. I mean, I know we’re with ourselves’ everyday; but many time we really don’t take the time to get to know us. That may sound a little crazy but it’s the truth. Many of us go through life just existing, not really taking into account what we truly want and how we would love to live. We endure unfortunate things daily. That’s why I’m sure many of us only know how to do one thing; and that’s survive.

The reality is; there is so much more you can do other than survive. Try living, that is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. Give yourself permission to be exactly who you’re supposed to be, without a second thought to what the next person may say. Keep in mind, you are the only one living in your skin; there for you are the only one accountable for your actions and happiness.

 Never let your happiness depend on someone else’s idea of you.

Question of the Day: What steps are you going to take that’ll help you live care-free?

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Short stories

Take life By the Gonads

Good morning!!!!

As always hope your day is going the way you intended.

Isolated Happy Family With Newborn Baby. Royalty Free Cliparts ...Question of the day: Family putting pressure on you to get married and have kids?

This is something many women and men have gone through at some point in their life. I’m having to deal with that question being asked more frequently because I’m in my late 30’s. Some people may not understand how invasive that one question can be. Truth is, you don’t know what kind of issues that man or woman could be going through in attempts to be considered normal a.k.a fertile.

Making sense of a miscarriage | MosaicJust to think back; once I was at a past job and a guy asked me my age, at that time I was 27. The next question immediately was; “Do you have any kids?” When I said “No” he looked at me as if there was something wrong with me. To be honest it pissed me off, because here you are , you don’t know me from a can of paint but you want to get all in my ovaries and find out what’s going on down there before you have the chance to get to know the person.

Sometimes it’s not easy to get pregnant. Just because a person has a little difficulty conceiving doesn’t mean they are less than a woman or man. I never got that, so many of us believe that we aren’t a real man or woman because we’ve had problems with conceiving children.

Signs That You're Killing it at Living Life – That Awkward Tan LineTo be straight up with you, life is too short to sit up here and be concerned with things you can’t change. I understand that not being able to get what you feel you want or need is a bummer, but there is way too much life to live to focus on the things you have little to no control over. That’s why it’s important to always look on the bright side. You’re more likely to grow in the right healthy direction if you do.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com
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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

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As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Self love is the Best love

Good Morning Yawl!!!!

 

I hope everyone is happy and living their best life, despite the state of the world. Don’t let that get you down. There are reasons to be in your feelings and unhappy, but look past those things and be happy for the things you still have; breath in your body for one.

Today wanted to do something a little different, I created a video on YouTube. If this goes well I think posts like this will become a regular thing.

But just to give you a little insight on the video you’re about to view, it’s for women who haven’t learned to value themselves; constantly looking for validation from the person their with or others around them.

 

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · relationship · self-esteem

A Woman’s Worth

Everyday women are put against each other. Constantly made to feel that we aren’t whole unless we have another half, preferably of the male persuasion. I just want to let you know in case anyone has never told you; you are the prize. Please don’t believe it’s the other way around.

So many women are plagued with the thought of feeling less than or inadequate because of the absence of a male. If he doesn’t want you that’s his problem not yours; stop making it so. There’s only so much you can do. One thing you should never do for sure is bend your back to be with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with you.

A Woman's Worth | Ashanti Holliday/title>

I understand both sexes go through the same things, but all I know is what I’ve lived and seen. It just feels like women a lot of the times get the short end of the stick (in the black community). So many of these women end up taking care of the men the choose to be with. Prime example: Many women in my family take care of the men they have or are with, and not just in the sense of cooking for them, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. No, these women do it all, from paying all the bills, to cleaning, taking care of the children, and some even taking care of mechanical things. Granted they didn’t do the physical work, but the did provide the money to fix the problem.

The sad thing is little girls from all over the world are taught to put a man on a pedestal; especially those who have grown up without a father. The thing that breaks my heart most is the women who haven’t experienced the love of a man will endure all most anything to experience it just once. Most women will go through hell and high water, because they haven’t realized their worth. 

What I want to say to girls like me who grew up without the love of your father or a father figure; “You will never get that man to love you like you love him until you can love you first, without him.” 

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated an supple? Go on over to Soapsbyshad.etsy.com
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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

empowering · Experiences

Is Content King?

Executive Forum - Performance Leadership InstituteEveryday you hear the infamous saying, ” Content is King?” When I heard that saying I thought they meant the content you produce has to be better then those in the same field as you; but that isn’t even close to what they’re saying. What really is meant by this saying is, “If you put out content on a consistent bases you’ll learn more and in turn will grow from your consistency.”

All these years I believed my content wasn’t up to par. Mainly because I wrote from a place of experience and feeling and others write from facts or gossip. Gossiping or bringing down someone for the betterment of myself was never a thing of mine. If possible I love to build people up whenever I get the chance. It makes me feel good to make others feel good.

That’s why I started this blog; to keep a journal of different things I’ve encountered through out the years, also I just love to write. Through writing I realized I’m the same way whether you meet me in person or we were just chatting online; I’m always gonna find some way to pour into everyone I encounter. I just feel pouring into others sometimes is as good as  pouring into yourself.

Like I was saying, “Content is King” in the sense that you consistently produce bodies of work for others to consume, so you can continue to grow throughout the process. Never be afraid to start.

Real failure comes when you don’t try. 

Give yourself that chance to be great. Who know you could possibly when a Noble Peace Prize or what you thought would mean nothing to anyone meant something to everyone. In this games you have to be brave enough to fall on your face a couple of times. Eventually you will get there, just keep on trying.

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

Photos Provided By: performanceleadershipinstitute.com,

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Authentic Living

Start living your Authentic life — Glitter N' Grace

Good Morning!!!!!

There are a lot of things I could chose to write about; Covid-19 (I’m sure we’re all tired of hearing about that, I know I am), love or the lack of it, My Ex getting on my last damn nerve! (That one came in a really close second). But I’m not going to talk about any of those things today. What I want to talk about today is about being yourself and knowing your natural self is good enough to be with or around anyone.

That’s something I had to be reminded of last night while talking to my Mom. She made it clear to me how I come across on camera and on my podcast is very monotoned and boring, but I’m nothing like this in person. I told her the reason for that is; I don’t want to be judged. The truth is your going to get judged regardless. So you might as well have fun creating and stop second guessing yourself.

Authentic Living Quotes & Sayings | Authentic Living Picture QuotesFor a long time all I wanted to do was some type of entertainment. Not so much visually, I wanted to do things like Podcasts, blogs and books. But I realize while I  want those things to flourish I’m going to have to put myself out there consistently . Not just that, I’m also going to have to be me with no apologizes.

I guess it is true; “There is no better time then now.” So if there’s anything that you’ve wanted to do for ages and haven’t because you were fearful of the outcome; there is no better time then now.

Hell, you’re stuck out home anyway. You might as well make it count for something.

Also, no one ever got anywhere happily by doing and being what others wanted. After all there is no one like you out there, so learn to bless every and anyone you meet with your natural beautiful self. Anything else would be a disservice to you and to them.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated an supple? Go on over to Soapsbyshad.etsy.com
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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always  

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empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational

Intuitive Empath

Good Morning!!!

Image result for intuitive empathI don’t know if you heard this while you were growing up, “With age comes wisdom”. That has never been more true for me than now. Growing up I always believed people will treat you the way you treat them. As a result of that I became someone that learned to go with the flow. I’ve been told that is a good thing, but for me it hasn’t been. True it has gotten me out of a lot of situations unscathed, but it has also gotten me in some things I could have done without. Things like one sided relationships and friendships.

Many times people are able to see I’m a very inviting kindhearted person because of my actions and concerns for others. A lot of times I care for other people 10x more than I care for myself. When I was younger, even up until recently I saw that as a flaw, because I would always get taken advantage of. My concern was, I never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings because I know how that feels. I always wanted to make others feel heard, loved, appreciated and happy. I guess the need for that is I wanted other people to provide those things for me.

The sad thing is, I realized and continue to realize that no matter how much I give of myself, people are not going to pour into me like I pour into them. Me expecting that to happen is like expecting someone to drop a million dollars in my lap. Truth be told, I think the million would be easier to get.

I’m sure other people have dealt with giving and giving and giving, just for others to continue to come up short. I guess that’s just the life of an intuitive empath. Not sure if you know what that is or if you even believe it’s a thing. For me it is a major thing to me. It helps me to understand myself that much more. Why I like certain things and why I feel certain energize from things, places, people, wild life; you name it I feel it.

But if you believe you may possess this gift have a little and take this test to find out if you’re like me an empath.

playbuzz.com

Just know, you’re not going through life alone. There’s always someone who can relate to the trials and tribulations you’re going through. Sometimes you just have to branch out and find like minded people. Also learn not to wallow in your pain or discomfort. Allow yourself to feel the emotion then move on. You don’t thrive when you’re constantly fixated on the things that are going wrong. Things only begin to change when you put forth effort and keep a positive mind set. So if you want to live abundantly, you’re going to have to leave that negative Nancy mentality behind.

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