empowering · Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Thoughts

Treasure Hunt

Good Morning Everyone!!!!

If you are one of the lucky ones like myself and are allowed frequent paid breaks from your job; I hope you’re enjoying this free time with every fiber of your being.

As for me, I want to enjoy myself. I just don’t know how.

Question: What childhood behavior or fear followed you to adulthood?

I’m not so sure I’ve written about this in depth, but I know I’ve written about it before.

Some may already know I have many fears. But the one I’ve developed from childhood is fear of authority figures ( especially men).

All though I’m grown and I have no one around me wanting to hurt me; it’s still a fear that lives in the back of my mind.

During this break all kinds of things have been going through my mind. Some good, some not so good. One thing’s for sure, I’m becoming more unmotivated as the days pass.

I’m sure this is happening because I’m back home. Don’t get me wrong I love being back home. I just hate the comfortability it gives me being here. It makes it hard to want to accomplish anything because I am provided the things I had to work so hard for, while I wasn’t here. I know that motivation should still be there. I have to be honest; it’s dwindling.

I know she loves me and wants me to stay a baby forever. But this struggle of being an adult with unresolved issues and childhood traumas and fears, are the things I hide behind when it comes to trying something new and exciting.


The Turn Around

After spending so many years living in my past I’m going to approach this coming year differently. Instead of holding on to past hurts and traumas I’m going to find new and creative ways to let them go.

A long time ago I realized I remain stagnant because I constantly listen to my own opinions, also the person I hang around the most is myself. How am I really suppose to change if I won’t allow new experiences to happen because I’m afraid of the possible outcome?

This is gonna be a real struggle, but it’s definitely something that needs to happen. I can’t have my inner world be richer and more vivid than my actual reality. I’m not going for it. I need and will only tolerate the type of life I would accept in my wildest dreams.

This is something I’ve been feeling for a long while, but have only had the courage to say up until recently.

I bring up courage because it takes courage to change and admit to yourself you live in the hurt because that’s what you know. Not only that it’s what you’ve become accustom and started to crave. This happens when hurt is what you’ve experienced the most. Over time you begin to crave it because it’s all you know.

Please keep in mind, hurt may have been what you’ve experienced and know better than happiness; but it doesn’t have to be. You can take that power back. Make life into what you believe it should be for you, at any point.

Never forget: How you choose to live is a mindset that can be changed at anytime. It’s like have a chest of treasure with a thousand keys. You know one fits, but you have to try them all till you find the one that fits.

That’s pretty much how life works. You have to go through life trying different (keys) until you find the one that unlocks the key to your treasure (happiness).

I hope you found something you can take away from this post.

Also, if you enjoyed the blog, please make sure to LIKE, SHARE, & FOLLOW for more blogs like this.

As Always

Luluslavishlathers.com

Treasure Hunt

empowering · Experiences · self-esteem

Self Worth

Good Morning!!!

I know I’ve been M.I.A for a good while now. That was do in part to my health. But as the days pass I’m feeling better.

Well let’s get to the blog; shall we?

I’m sure this isn’t the first time I’ve written about it or you’ve read something else from someone else regarding the same topic. But, I want to give you my viewpoint.

We always want someone who’s gonna do for us what the next person won’t.

But….. have you ever thought of it from the viewpoint of; “I’m that person who won’t do those things for myself?”

We hear it over and over again about self worth. How we’re not suppose to allow someone to come in and take up space if they have no respect for us. But we never think of; Why does it  happen in the first place?”

Many of us allow these time wasters and cum critters to waste our time because we weren’t taught from young how to spot and what to do when they come your way. That’s why you have so many Good women and men out here marrying and wasting decades with ain’t s*** people.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned; If you can’t have a great time by yourself, how the hell are you supposed to have fun with somebody else?!

So many of us are looking for another person to save us. Many of us go whole life times expecting to find that one person who’s going to take us away from all the sad, upset, confusing things or people that are our life. Not realizing we are who we’re looking for.

See, one of the saddest things to learn when you’ve lived all your days and still haven’t found happiness is;

You are your own hero. You had the power to change your reality all along.

So to those who don’t believe happiness begins with self worth and discovery. Please reevaluate your values and morals.

I’m really just trying to save those of us out here who have the mindset of, “If he/she leaves me, what kind of life will I have without them?”

There are people everyday taking their own life or someone else’s because the person they chose made a different choice and decided to be with someone else.

I understand love makes us do some crazy things while we’re in it. That’s why the best person for you to fall for first and always is YOU. One thing’s for sure, you’re never leaving YOU.

Might be a little corny but as long as you keep this in mind breakups will be way easier. “Self Worth Makes the Dream Work”.

Remembering that and really practicing it will put people on high alert as to how to handle you. What that means is; once people realize you’re good with them in or out of your life, they’ll either straighten up real quick or exit stage left. Keep in mind no love lost. It’s just you have found your voice and realized your worth; and you’ve realized you’re not down for the Tom Foolery anymore.

Enjoyed the blog? If so please make sure to Like, Comment & Share to help this blog to continue to grow.

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Rant · self-esteem · Thoughts

Confidence?

Good Morning!!!

Hope you all are doing great!!!

Today is going to be a great day!!! I was finally able to get internet service in the classroom 🤯!!! I can’t believe it!!!

Well let me get to the subject at hand.

Being 100 and 10% YOU.

This is something that seems to be next to impossible for most of us to do. We’re able to accomplish it; but it seems to only be when we’re around people we know and love. Many because we know they love us and we could never do anything too weird or out of the way that would make them want to take their love away. In other words; We trust them.

That’s all well and good, but we me included need to always be the person we are truly. It’s a hard task to manage, but I believe it is something that needs to be done.

That changes when you have people who come from different countries. I don’t know what it is, but many of them have learned to walk with confidence and stand in their truth; so it seems. I might be wrong. But I love the confidence and boldness of people who come from places like Puerto Rico, Haiti, The Dominican Republic and so on.

What makes the people so attractive and attention grabbing is their ability to behave or react freely. The whole time staying true to themself. Something I would really love to learn.

If you have found that spark and have learned to live as your 100 and 10% self, please pass the secret along.

As always

empowering · Experiences

Faith in the process

Good morning! Hope all is well.

There seems to be a lot going on. Then again it feels like it could be my  perception that’s making it seem so. I say that because I chose to do all these things this week.

Imagine this; I’m moving, canceling services, haven’t even begun to do my taxes yet and I have no source of income besides the business I’m currently working to get off the ground.

But one thing I have to make sure I keep is faith. Because I know God hasn’t led me this far for me to give up. I just have to have faith in the journey and keep giving the world what I have to offer.

Through it all you can never give up. If you do how will you ever know your true potential?

Wanted to keep this short and sweet.  I have a very busy day ahead of me. I hope you were able to gain inspiration from this post.

Try the soap that caters to YOU!! LuLusLavishLathers.com.

Keep a l👀k out for our 6 new additions.

  • Healing Hands- made with honey, tumeric, essentials and 100% organic plant base oils ( as are all the other soaps)
  • Spearwood- made with essential oils is great for blemishes dark spots and helping to keep the skin soft and supple.
  • Peppermint- Not a new soap but has become a favorite for many of my customers. Provides the skin with a cooling sensation because of the natural menthol peppermint produces. Leaves you feeling refreshed and squeaky clean.
  • Mosaic- Made with natural base oils and fragrance. This soap smells like a perfume but is not at all drying to the skin. Do largely in part to its foundation.
  • Big Red- not sure, but the name may change. Made with fragrance oil and smells devine. It also has a very satisfying lather. Made with only the best oils and butters for your skin.
  • Creamsicle- Very light scent. Feels like heaven on the skin.
  • Ugli- Smell is pleasant. Suitable for an older gentleman. Has the same great lather and feel as every other soap provided.

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

LuLu’s Lavish Lathers

Good Morning All!!!

I know there’s a lot going on in the world. But through it all, I hope you manage to find a way to smile. Granted it’s very easy to lose sight of the great things that happen everyday. For what ever reason, it seems like the bad always overshadows the good. For some of us that’s because we’re wired to expect bad things and others are dealt a sunshine and rainbows hand.

Circumstance a lot of the time can make or break a person’s take on life. That’s why someone that seemed to be so happy go lucky changes and becomes a “Debby Downer” sometime. But positivity is also something you have to work on daily, so you can help your mind to rewire itself. After time you won’t have to consciously remind yourself to be positive, you just will.

That’s why whenever I feel like I’m being stuffed in a box, I have to find a way out. Just incase you hadn’t realized, having control over your finances almost guarantees you to have more control over your life. Why do you think there are so many people these days starting up companies and finding ways to work independently?

Although for some, this would be too large of a step; and that’s okay. For a longtime I knew I wanted to have the type of control that came with running my own business. I can’t tell you how many ideas I’ve had over the years. A lot of them didn’t see the light of day. But for the ones that have, some of you have bore witness to them.

The first thing was this blog. I have to be honest, after 3 years this is still just a hobby  (Something you like to do but your loss is greater than your gain.)… Then I decided to write my first book Loyalty, Lies, and Betrayal. I’m sure it would have sold better if I put some money in the advertising. For the ones who have read it, I’m told all the time how good the book is. I really cherish that…. Then I started YouTube. I’m not saying I’m done with it, I’m just extremely shy so it takes a lot for me to get on camera and talk about anything. Then there was my Podcast. I started it, but I realized it’s good to have a co-host because the commentary doesn’t have the chance to get boring. Now, I’m 150% focused on selling all natural handmade soap. This was one of the biggest investments I’ve ever made.

I’m not giving up on the things I’ve started before making soap. God willing, I’ll one day master them all. I just have to stop letting myself get in my own way. I hate to say it, but I’m sure some of you are probably going through the same thing i.e Not knowing when to get out of your own way.

For this company I’ve started, I’ve grown overwhelming passionate for it. I will do everything possible to help educate more of us on the health and the importance of having healthy skin. As I say on my store’s Website LuLusLavishLathers.com:

I started making soap when I realized a lot of soap isn’t made from natural resources. I found that out when I started digging more into the health world, hoping to find better ways of being healthy.
So as a result of wanting to be healthy I started going to Wholefoods and bought natural soap. Mind you, this was the very first time I had been introduced to a soap that not only cleanses, but feeds your skin in the process. I wanted to recreate something like that; and the great thing now is, I can.

Come and try a bar. Every soap is made with natural and organic ingredients. Many are made with essential oil, such as peppermint, patchouli, chamomile, cedarwood, tea tree, eucalyptus, and a long list of other essential oils. The important thing with using these type of oils to add fragrance to the soap is; it also adds a long list of benefits.

Many of us don’t know this, but if you’re allergic to something many times that’s because of a blockage in the body. Do you know why many blockages start? Because of feeding ourselves things that were never made for the body to intake in the first place.

Try a bar of LuLu’s Lavish Lathers. Your skin will thank you for it!

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SHARE, SHARE SHARE!!!!

If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Enjoyed the blog?… There’s no harm in tipping the writer. A little goes a long way.

CashApp: ShadsShortStories

As Always

Photos Provided By: LuLusLavishLathers.com, Canva.com

Experiences · Short stories

Going through…..

Happy Saturday!!!!

What’s good with everyone? Hope you had a great week!!!

There’re so many things going through my head at this moment. But the one that sticks out the most is moving and the whole situation with that. I know if I was to tell you what I had to go through (emotionally) throughout this past year you would probably tell me to run. I would say you’re probably right. I’m not saying I want to stay. Well let me rephrase that, I would love to stay; if it meant I didn’t have to live with “Him”.

I don’t know what it is, but the more the days pass the more dislike and disgust I gain towards him. Let me stop lying, I know why I don’t like his ass. You want a list? Here it goes. He’s controlling, complacent, insecure, deceitful, manipulative, secretive, unprogressive. Believe me the list could go on, but I’m gonna stop it right there.

I’m sure the question you’re probably asking is, “If he was all those things through out the years, why did you continue to be with him?” I would have to say, I was being lazy and also a little afraid. Afraid of ‘What’, you may want to know. Afraid of the unknown. I was happy knowing I had the control of who showed up at my house. See, not many people knew where I lived and I loved that. If I’m being honest, I enjoyed it because there weren’t unannounced pop-ups or people needing me all the time. I had more freedom because I didn’t have to worry about looking into they’re faces’ when I said “NO”. Fine Print: 9/6/16: Are You A People Pleaser? (With images ...

If you don’t know, I’m the type of person who will do all I can to help the next person out without any concern or thought for myself. I’ve done this so much over the years. Believe me, it’s not that I want to be like this, this is just the way I am. I’ve been trying to learn how to put myself first. But I’m afraid once I move back home, I’ll be putting my needs on the back burner once again.

These days I know I can’t do that. But I feel if a person makes me feel bad enough, I’m gonna go right back to my old ways. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing things for the special people in my life; I just don’t want to feel obligated too. Let me be far, it’s not them it’s me. Every time I’ve ever said “No” in the past, I always felt like, they would through me away. I know that’s an extreme thought, but I can’t help but think like that. I think the reason I feel like this is because I’m a big “People Pleaser” and with that comes a lot of mental and sometimes emotional turmoil.

Many times when you’re this type of person you fight with yourself, because you know you don’t want to do the thing they’re asking. A lot of times you do it anyway, because with this disorder you are always looking for acceptance and validation; cause deep down you don’t believe that you’re as great a person as everyone keeps telling you, you are.

The other thing about being a ‘People Pleaser’ is, many times the ones who’re doing the asking don’t realize how much of a heavy burden they’ve put on your shoulders by asking you to do something. It’s not their job to know, because in actuality the problem lies with you. People Pleasing is a hard thing to shack. I mean you’re agreeable even when you wanna cuss a b**** out! It’s too much sometime, but hey that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Question of the Day: If you are a People Pleaser, how do you cope with it? Or If you once were a People Pleaser, how did you change that and learn to put you first?

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SHARE, SHARE SHARE!!!!

If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Enjoyed the blog?… Show your support by tipping the writer.

CashApp: ShadsShortStories

As Always

Photo Provided By: thecooperreview.com/

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Shop

Business Shy

Hey Everyone!!!!

Hope this week has been a good one for you. I know it’s been a very busy one for me. All week long and even before that I was overwhelming myself with the things I knew I had to do, in regards to starting my Shopify store.

I’m not gonna lie, I thought it was going to be easy, I gotta  tell you it’s not. Maybe if I was dropshipping it may have been easier, but it’s a whole nother ball game when you’re putting your products out there to be viewed, sold, and critiqued. I want to say, “I don’t know why it is that this is such a trial for me?” But I know exactly why; because it’s something I put my efforts in, I love doing it and I don’t want to hear the criticism that’s gonna come with it. I know for a fact there’s gonna be criticism, cause with what ever you do there’s always criticism. Sometimes criticism can be an opinion, and other times it could be a fact, either way I’m open to it. I understand getting feedback is always a good thing, because it makes you want to do better. Although sometimes it may make you want to give up. When you feel like that, that’s the time you need to push yourself through it.

Just know I’m scared. I’m scared of failing. There’ve been other things I’ve tried my hand at, some I’m currently working on. But this is the only one a larger number of people have seemed to take interest in. Please don’t think I’m dismissing you (my followers a.k.a my beautiful people). I’m only saying this is the only way at the time I see I can make money while doing something I love.

As many of you know I enjoy writing, but this isn’t paying the bills. I feel bad everyday I don’t check in with you all, but I’m working towards something I see someday becoming something bigger than I could ever imagine. Please understand if I could be here writing posts, without financial concerns, I would be writing everyday all day. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury. So all I ask is for you all to be patient with me. Starting up an online store isn’t easy.

Also this whole shy thing I have going on, something I’ve dealt with ever since I was a child; Is something that hinders you a great deal in business. What I’ve learned is the extroverts are the ones who seem to do very well in business because they’re not afraid to be the center of attention when need be. Many times for them it doesn’t matter that their product may be garbage; the most important thing is how well you can sale yourself while selling the product. When it comes to business it’s all about trust.

So at this time I’ve been trying to find a less debilitating way to become more extroverted. I know it’s gonna be a struggle, I just hope in the long run it comes full circle.

Question of the Day: What is your biggest fear?

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SHARE, SHARE SHARE!!!!

If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Enjoyed the blog?… Show your support by tipping the writer.

CashApp: ShadsShortStories

Original Photo: elements.envato.com

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Stop Surviving, Start Living!!

What’s up Everyone?!

 

Everyday lived is a day filled with blessings. To see your blessings, sometime you have to slow down. I know it’s hard because we all want instant gratification. But have you ever heard the saying, “Good things come to those who wait”? I never really understood or believed that to be true, but the older I get the more it rings true.

All week I was thinking; “How am I going to survive the summer without work?” It brought me close to tears, because if I don’t work I don’t eat, let alone I won’t be able to pay my bills. It frustrated me so, because I’m trying to put all my effort and energy into this business I’m starting. I really don’t want to take away from that. But if I have to, it is what it is.

One thing I’ve realized during this pandemic is there are so many great huge things I want to do, and there’s no better time than the present. We constantly put off our dreams to survive. But what if we made a change and started dreaming to live. I get it may sound like a dead end, but life would be at least bearable then. At least for those of us who go to work to just pay bills.

I get I don’t think like the average person. For me there’s always a positive way to see things. Whether that be removing myself from that situation or building on it. If you allow yourself, you could see your way out of anything that isn’t serving you. The problem is; we allow the world to take our dreams, hold them captive and for some of us they never are released. Many of us remain prisoners of our society and never give another thought to that dream of doing something better and bigger than ourselves. All because of the road blocks that seem to appear every time we attempt to do something great. 

I have to say; I almost fell pry to it. I wanted to give up. Then I realized God wouldn’t have given me these visions of doing something bigger than myself if he didn’t want me to execute his plan. Most of all, what I’m doing now is causing me great happiness. Like I’ve said before; I know many of us don’t have the desire to have our own. Not because we don’t want it, but because of the workload that comes with having and owning your slice of the pie. Not saying laziness is the cause because it isn’t. It’s the life altering obligations some of us have that sometimes cause us to miss our mark.

Inconclusion, find that thing that brings you fulfillment. Whether that be having children, being a wife or owning a business; just live, stop surviving. 

 

 

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SHARE, SHARE SHARE!!!!

If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Enjoyed the blog?… Show your support by tipping the writer.

CashApp: ShadsShortStories

As Always

 

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · Short stories

Learning the Importance of Formalities

Good Morning My Beautiful People!!!

As always, I hope everything is going in your favor.

Well today I was thinking; “What should the topic be today?” I figured I’d write a little on the different challenges I’m facing starting my own business. I have to be honest, I didn’t think this day was gonna come. Technically I’m still working on making it a reality.Legal Formalities for the Formation of a Company

I can’t begin to tell you how happy it feels to be doing something I enjoy so much!! Even though I enjoy creating soap there are some things I don’t enjoy, now that I’m starting a real business; and that’s all the legal things that come along with it. You have to make sure that you are completely covered just incase someone tries to come for your throat.

The other thing is coming up with a name. I currently have a name; it’s Heavenly Scents by Shadrieka. I’m going through the process of changing it because 1.) it’s too long & 2.) A lot of business’ have the name Heavenly Scents. Also I’m sure because that name is so widely used I would get lost in the shuffle because Heavenly Scents is such a popular name.

If you have any pointers on the next steps I should take or want to share any of your experiences with starting your own business; Please leave a comment. 

Also if there’s something you can do well and get paid for it, do it! STOP MAKING EXCUSES!! There is no better time than the present. If you keep waiting you may loose your chance. Stop waiting and start doing. Make those dreams come true. Life is filled with road blocks. It’s your job to either burst through them or pave your own way. But never allow a person, situation, or circumstance to dictate the things you’re capable of accomplishing!!

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SHARE, SHARE SHARE!!!!

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com
&
If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Enjoyed the blog?… Show your support by tipping the writer.

CashApp: ShadsShortStories

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Short stories

Next!!!

Good afternoon!!!

I had no clue what I was going to talk about today. Once I got back home my topic seemed to fall right in my lap. I seem to talk about this individual a lot, but you have to understand I didn’t know the end was near. I also had no clue of his narcissism; it reared it’s head a couple of times. I just wanted to be in love and wanted him to be Mr. Right so bad that I paid no attention to it.

35 Relationship Quotes and Sayings for Her #relationships 35 Relationship Quotes and Sayings for Her - museulyMany times I’ve said being in this relationship made me feel like I was drowning and I needed to come up for air. The thing that made me stay was my own insecurities of feeling like I wasn’t as valuable on my own as I seemed to be while in a relationship. Also seeing the type of things other women have gone through, and have remained in that relationship with that man who disrespected them, did nothing for them, cheated on them; the list goes on. It had me believing that I shouldn’t expect too much from a man because he would always come up short.

The reason for this post today was because my Ex a.k.a roommate did something that triggered my jealousy. Then I had to quickly remind myself we are no longer together and there’s nothing for me to get upset about. After all, I realized what he’s offering, I do not want.

you can't pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself firstBut I’m gonna be honest with yawl, for a long time I thought I was the problem. I really use to pick myself apart when things would never go the way I planned while dating. Now I realize there’s nothing wrong with me. I just keep allowing the wrong kind of man to come in my life and turn s*** upside down.

This last time I have to say I was a little more guarded. I really believe I saw the red flags subconsciously, I just wasn’t ready to come to terms with them yet. I have to say though I’m in a better place mentally. If this was before I would have been all broken up about this current situation I’m in. One thing I know for sure my mother didn’t raise a weak woman. People ask me frequently how I’m able to live with my Ex without talking to each other. I’m not gonna say that it’s easy because it isn’t. It messes with me mentally everyday. But I’ll be damned if I move when my name is on this lease.

Part of me can’t wait for this lease to be up, but the other part of me is dreading that day. It’s only because I’m so use to having my own space, and once I move I won’t really have that anymore.

One things for sure, I’m gonna make something out of this faze of transitioning. God willing I’ll be in my new fully furnished apartment by 2021, working solely for myself.

Something I’ve learned during this time is; never sit still. They piss you off, use that anger to better yourself. Don’t worry about the next person they may be entertaining. You may not want to hear that right now; especially if you’re currently going through a bad break-up. But it’s truly something you need to hear and think about. Also don’t let your glow up be because you want to get back at them. Do it for you. You deserve everything this world has to offer and so much more .

True you may get a little jealous when you see all the couples out there. I just say; you never know what the next person had to go through for that person to be with them or be married to them. Keep in mind you’re on the outside looking in. Not saying there are no great relationships out there; I know there are. I just have decided that I’m not gonna settle for just a piece of someone when I know there’s someone out there who’s willing to give me their all.

Message of the day & always: Never Settle!!!!

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com
&
If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Enjoyed the blog?… Show your support by tipping the writer.

CashApp: ShadsShortStories

As Always

Photos Provided By: Pinterest