empowering · Experiences · Feelings · motivational

The Road to Creating Your Own Happiness

Good Afternoon Beautiful People!!

It’s Fun Friday!!! What are you doing today?.. I wish I could say that I was doing something fun, but the fun days won’t come until all my efforts of making it have been recognized and I’ve been compensated.

Some of you may think because I think this way that money is the only thing that matters to me. Well…. that’s not entirely true. What matters most to me is the freedom of working for yourself. That’s why I push myself so hard. If I don’t push me who will? I have to have that ambition to make it in this life. There’s no more mediocrity for me anymore. I plan to live this life to the fullest.

The only way that seems possible is by making my own path and obliterating the one others believe I should follow. I’m too talented, gifted and smart to be put in anyone’s box. Hell… you should feel like that too. Don’t let no one tell you what you can and can’t do. I’ve said it before, but I’ma say it again for the ones in the back, “Do you boo!” Forget about what other people think you’d be better off doing. Live your days the way you choose. Have fun, make s*** loads of money, ride an elephant, visit the Bermuda Triangle. The point is to live freely and unapologetically. Don’t leave this earth regretting you didn’t do this or that because you were trying to make someone else happy. Who’s responsibility is it to make you happy?…. YOU!!!! That’s who.

Stop making your happiness about someone else, because happiness comes from within. That goes both ways, you can’t make someone internally happy; that’s up to them not you.

So this weekend throw one back for me. I hope you enjoy yourself. Hell, get in a little trouble while you’re at it. Not too much though.

Also just want to think all of ya’ll that mess with me the long way. I know somedays you may not know the Shadrieka you’re going to get, but you still keep coming back and I thank you immensely for that.

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Experiences · Feelings · motivational · relationship · self-esteem

Transitioning?

Good Morning!!!!!

Question of the day: Moving back with your parents; how would you feel about that after experiencing real independence?

  S*** is getting real, real quick. I knew this day was coming, I just didn’t realize how fast it was gonna get here. The last time I checked I still had five months. At that time 5 months seemed like a lot of time to get my s*** together. But as we all know when you’re in a time crunch, days roll around like minutes, and months go around like hours.

   So now I’m about two months away from the final day of living in my lovely first apartment. I’m sure once the day comes for me to move I’m gonna be so emotional, because I really created a bond and a love for where I live. There were so many days coming home from work an event whatever the case was; I would be so happy to just go home. What made me so at peace with being home alone is the fact that I saw it as an accomplishment. Also there was a peace in coming home knowing I was the boss of me and didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want too.

For years before I moved out of my mother’s house I thought I would never be able to move out. Now I know I’m capable of taking care of myself. The relationship didn’t work out, but at least I can say I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in the process. It almost brings me to tears thinking of how much I pushed the real me down to fit into other peoples ideal of me. I have way more to learn, but I know I’m well on my way to becoming the free unbound spirit I know I was always meant to be.

Believe me I know it’s a hard task to be 100% you and not care about the judgement and dirty looks you may get from others because you choose to do things differently. Especially when you’re a highly sensitive person. Many may not understand why being highly sensitive makes being a free spirit that much harder; I’m gonna explain it to you.

Highly sensitive people like myself and many others don’t always do what’s in their heart and minds to do because they’re extremely affected by the thoughts and feelings of the people around them. So if you tell an HSP something is going to make you unhappy or upset, they’re gonna try to do everything in their power to keep you from experiencing those emotions. That’s why a lot of Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) or sometimes Empaths put their wants and needs on the back burner because we’re more concerned with making others feel at ease over ourselves.

  I know moving back is not going to be an easy transition, but God willing it will be a productive one. One thing I definitely don’t want to happen is; loosing sight of my goals. Which is producing & selling more books, making and selling more soaps, having a successful Podcast & YouTube. I’m sure I left something out. If you can’t tell, I want to live a life of abundance in everyway. 

   I guess I feel like this because I spent so much time caring about what other people thought about me and what I do. For years depression and anxiety took over my days, making me paralyzed to the different things I wanted to try and accomplish. I was so overwhelmed with how others viewed me I gave no thought to how I viewed and felt about myself. As I write this I feel the tears wanting to escape, because not that long ago depression and anxiety were ruling my days. I’m still a work in progress. I still have those days when I feel sad and anxious. But you know what gets me through?…. Knowing I have goals to accomplish and how good I’m going to feel when everything I’ve been working for comes to fortition.

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Experiences · Feelings · Short stories · story telling

Am I Worthy?……

Of Course I am.

What’s up everyone?

 

Hope your day is going well.

 

I apologize if my recent blogs seem to be  putting men in a negative light. All I want to say is; If you don’t have that negative view on men, please don’t develop one now because of me.

I guess you could say I’m a feminist. I believe the only reason I became this way is do to my experiences with men. I’m just gonna say a lot of them were not good interactions. But I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, because life could have been a lot worse. I’m just lucky I have plenty of strong women around me who have taught me to be the ambitious, strong, independent woman I am.

There are many times I don’t realize just how strong I am. Also I know I have a one sided view because there aren’t many males that I speak to. So most likely I don’t know how the typical male thinks unless I’m dating him. Even then I fall flat some times.

For those of you though who have great relationships with the men in your lives’; please don’t let anything disrupt that. It’s not an easy thing for a man and a woman to remain on the same page. That’s one reason I think its always been said, men and woman can’t be friends; Cause if we don’t have sex in common; What is there?  Before I used to feel that way, not anymore. There are many men out here that are just fine with being a woman’s friend. But…. overtime attraction arises and either the woman or man begins to like the other. This is do to time spent, and putting in the energy to get to know the other person. There are other factors, but those are some of the main ones.

If you are in a loving caring committed relationship; more power to you. Cause from what I’ve seen they don’t come easy. That’s why I’m gonna give myself the time to be free and spread my wings. I’m sure my luck will change, but I’m in no hurry to find Mr. Right. I’ve finally come to a point in life where I feel like being single. After all, being with someone has gotten me nothing but heartache, pain and an overwhelming feeling of suffocation. 

I know someone good is out there, but forgive me for not wanting to find him; not yet that is. And for all of you who’re saying; ” He’s gonna be someone else’s Mr. Right because you takin to long.” Keep on saying it, because that isn’t gonna rush anything over here. Only God knows when that special man will come into my life and when the time is right. I know he will move heaven and earth if need be to get me to see that, that man is for me because only he can. So don’t worry about me because I know ho’s got my back.

 

Question of the day: Does a woman’s worth diminish because she’s unattached? How about if she’s childless? 

Asking for a friend.

 

 

 

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Experiences · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem

Never Settle

Hope you’re having a successful Sunday!!!!

Question of the day: Why is it necessary to give your all?

That question comes to mind because as far back as I can remember every woman around me has always been expected to give their all to the man they’re with. Why?

Many times these men don’t seem to do nearly as much or give as much as the woman they’re with. It’s like you keep giving and giving until you have nothing left for yourself. Now a days they say; “Take care of you before you think of taking care of someone else.” I’m happy that’s something that’s stressed now, because it wasnt back then.

When I was growing up; hell even now women are taught to cater to their man or another woman will. I mean really what kind of s*** is that?! So you’re telling me if there’s some nasty perverted thing he wants to do and I don’t, he has the right to cheat on me?…. I think not!

If you’re with a man that thinks like that it’s time for you to throw away the whole man Honey. What’s the use of trying to make it work? Clearly if you feel differently than he does about the situation; his view on it is never gonna change…. unless he loves you and is willing to do without.

But to all my women making it who realize they’re the prize, keep doing you. The right man in time will find you. Just keep your head up and never settle for less.

AS ALWAYS

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Be Your Own Kind Of Beautiful

Good Morning!!

There was something I was thinking on heavy. That was attractiveness and how much we depend on being attractive. There are so many doors that’ll open for you if you are extremely attractive. At times it can be debilitating  to think that someone can become more known and successful than you because they are what others want to look at or look like.

Beautiful Black Women - Posts | FacebookI say be your own kind of beautiful; it’ll pay off in the end. Eventually people will be looking for something more than how attractive the next person is. If you’re content  or what you’re about is appealing people will gravitate to you, it just takes time.

I’m currently going through this predicament now. I have been going back and forth trying to figure out if I really want to be a YouTuber or just write. The more lucrative decision would be to do both, but lean more on the YouTube side. The only thing about that is; I’m not the kind of woman most would find intriguing. So I’m sure that getting Subs is going to be a struggle. I just have to determine whether I’m ready for it or not.

The struggle is real - Passed out dog | Meme GeneratorDon’t get me wrong, just because I’m not what most would want to look at or look like doesn’t mean I’m not going to take my shot and make something out of my Channel; because I definitely am…. The same should go for you. If you’re someone who wants to do something and hasn’t because you’re afraid people won’t approve because of whatever; think about you and how it’ll make you feel. If it’s going to bring you closer to happiness or make you happy, go for it. Damn everyone else! 

That’s why the higher power a.k.a God made us different, because we all have something  to bring to any and ever situation. So never be afraid or unwilling to show other people what you’re capable of, live your truth. You’ll feel more complete when you do.

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empowering · Experiences · Feelings

The Pressure!

Good, Good Morning, My Beautiful People!!!!

Hope everyone is doing well and finding different things to keep you busy that’ll pay off in the end.

Have you ever felt that you were trying to be your true authentic self, but there’s something holding you back, you just don’t know what it is?

I’ve felt that way for a long time. There are things I would love to do but don’t because I’m so concerned with how people would perceive me. I’m sure a lot of us go through these feelings on a regular; but it’s up to you to not let them take over your actions.

Ever day I have tried to be more of myself. I tell you, it has been a whole lot easier because there hasn’t been many expectations. Mainly because I’m not around a lot of different people everyday since this quarantine started. In many ways it has been a great thing for me because I suffer from extreme anxiety; always have ever since I was a little girl. And as you may already have guessed I’m an introvert; so spending time by myself is A okay with me.

But, the great things that have come out of being under quarantine are being able to spend time with family and really getting to know me. There’s so much I didn’t know about myself. I mean, I know we’re with ourselves’ everyday; but many time we really don’t take the time to get to know us. That may sound a little crazy but it’s the truth. Many of us go through life just existing, not really taking into account what we truly want and how we would love to live. We endure unfortunate things daily. That’s why I’m sure many of us only know how to do one thing; and that’s survive.

The reality is; there is so much more you can do other than survive. Try living, that is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. Give yourself permission to be exactly who you’re supposed to be, without a second thought to what the next person may say. Keep in mind, you are the only one living in your skin; there for you are the only one accountable for your actions and happiness.

 Never let your happiness depend on someone else’s idea of you.

Question of the Day: What steps are you going to take that’ll help you live care-free?

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As Always

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · self-esteem · Thoughts

Trust You!

GOOOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!!!

 

 

As always, I hope all is well and you are following the road less traveled, but the one that you feel in your heart belongs to you. Like I’ve said may times before; “You aren’t living unless you’re living a life of freedom and remain to be uninhabited by your surroundings.

Too many times we have been stopped from doing things we really have wanted to do because we were listening to the opinions of others. Sometimes it’s good to listen to others, but sometimes it’s not.

Let Your Brain Take the Road Less Traveled - The Human FactorMy whole life has been dictated by others. Mainly because I was afraid to take accountability for the things I chose. Cause this way I could sometimes do what I wanted, because someone suggested it and not get blamed for the outcome. But the only thing with that is sometimes people choose what you would have chosen, then other times they don’t. When that happens you’re focused with making the decision whether you are going to do what they suggest, or are you going to follow your own mind and do what you want to do anyway?

That’s why I’ve learned to follow my own advise. Don’t misunderstand me, I still ask people their opinion; but I don’t fall for the peer pressure of doing something because someone told me too. 

It’s gonna be a struggle at first, but you’ll be so happy once you learn to trust yourself. Cause what happens when you finally start following your own mind is; you stop being a follower and become a leader. In becoming a leader you also unlock you mind and finally give yourself the permission to be you, unapologetically. That is when the true beauty of living comes in to play.

 

Question of the day:What is something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t because of the opinions of others?

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As Always 

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Short stories

Take life By the Gonads

Good morning!!!!

As always hope your day is going the way you intended.

Isolated Happy Family With Newborn Baby. Royalty Free Cliparts ...Question of the day: Family putting pressure on you to get married and have kids?

This is something many women and men have gone through at some point in their life. I’m having to deal with that question being asked more frequently because I’m in my late 30’s. Some people may not understand how invasive that one question can be. Truth is, you don’t know what kind of issues that man or woman could be going through in attempts to be considered normal a.k.a fertile.

Making sense of a miscarriage | MosaicJust to think back; once I was at a past job and a guy asked me my age, at that time I was 27. The next question immediately was; “Do you have any kids?” When I said “No” he looked at me as if there was something wrong with me. To be honest it pissed me off, because here you are , you don’t know me from a can of paint but you want to get all in my ovaries and find out what’s going on down there before you have the chance to get to know the person.

Sometimes it’s not easy to get pregnant. Just because a person has a little difficulty conceiving doesn’t mean they are less than a woman or man. I never got that, so many of us believe that we aren’t a real man or woman because we’ve had problems with conceiving children.

Signs That You're Killing it at Living Life – That Awkward Tan LineTo be straight up with you, life is too short to sit up here and be concerned with things you can’t change. I understand that not being able to get what you feel you want or need is a bummer, but there is way too much life to live to focus on the things you have little to no control over. That’s why it’s important to always look on the bright side. You’re more likely to grow in the right healthy direction if you do.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com
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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

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As Always

Experiences

Boundaries?

Good morning!!!!

Hope you’re having fun. Remember everyday is a new opportunity to have a better one.

 

Boundaries Self Love Necklace Set | Bryan AnthonysWhat I wanted to get into with you today is; “Boundaries or the lack there of”. What are healthy boundaries? How do you know when you don’t have any boundaries? What happens as a result of not having them?

 

When you have boundaries you have the strength to say “No” without feeling you’re doing the other person a disservice. Also you have less stress, and as a result of being less stressed you typically are less angry. Which are all great things. The other great things are  you have the tendency to take better care of yourself and you’re very self aware. These are things that can help you live your life more affectively.

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries - KWSO 91.9As for what healthy boundaries look like; taking responsibility for your actions and emotions. Non-healthy boundaries are when you blame someone else for what was not in their control. Also when you take responsibility for something you had nothing to do with. Living this way isn’t going to be easy in the least, that’s why you have to develop boundaries.

Without them we absorb other peoples’ energy without intending too. This in turn cases us to stress. As a result of stressing we also agree to things we really want to disagree with, feel responsible for other peoples actions and continue to be mistreated or abused.

If you haven’t noticed, boundaries are a very important when it comes to selfcare. They have everything to do with the way we perceive ourselves and those around us. 

Something else that may happen because of your lack of boundaries is; getting taken advantage of. Some of you may not realize this but this happens a lot. Let’s say, you have someone who has no boundaries and will do anything for the next person. Many times people do this because they feel they haven’t done enough unless they’ve given their all. When in reality someone who has boundaries will not go above and beyond because they understand and know how much they’re whiling to give.

Where as people who lack boundaries get angry with people who have healthy boundaries because they’re expecting that same level of selflessness. People with boundaries understand their self worth and are less likely to be taken advantage of because of their understanding of their value. Tattooforaweek.com on Twitter: "When you're trying to love people ...

Question of the Day:

“How has not having boundaries effected your life?”

 

 

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com
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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

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Experiences

Check-In

SIKE!!!!

Good Morning !!!!!

Yep, I Can Feel It, I'm Going To Lose My Shit. GIF - GoingToLoseMyShit HeathLedger TheDarkKnight GIFsHope everyone is doing well and this quarantine isn’t getting to you in the worst way. I really hope you’ve found some way to cope with the monotony of our NEW everyday life.

Alcohol sales up amid coronavirus pandemicRecently I heard alcohol sales have spiked. “I guess so; there’s nothing to do!” Well there are thing to do, it’s just that they aren’t things that require you to attend different events unless it’s virtual. Also people who already have internet business’ or have wanted to start a business in the past have taken this opportunity to do so.

Another thing, there’s going to be a S*** load of newborns at the top of next year. I’m sure if you’re stuck in the house with your spouse there’s going to be some hanky-panky going on. What "demographic decline"? American women are having plenty of ...

The funny thing is, the “Government” started off trying to control the population. Supposedly we have to many people on earth. But then again they didn’t want women to get abortions. To be honest trying to figure out their end game is giving me a headache. I’m sure that’s the way they want it to be, because if you can’t predict their next move how are you going to intercept their agenda? I guess that’s another question for another time.

We’re playing Chess not Checkers

Women beat expectations when playing chess against men, according ...

Well I would love to know how you all feel about all these different things that have been going on in the world. Please make sure to leave a comment.

Question of the day: If marijuana was legal in your state would you be a regular consumer? Why or why not?

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated and supple? Go on over to SoapsbyShad.Etsy.com

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

                                                                     

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