Experiences · Feelings · Informative · Race · Thoughts

America

There are so many things to talk about. But I fear that if I talk about what is really on my mind many people won’t want to read about it. If you haven’t been able to tell, I’m interested in getting justice for every single person who has been done wrong and who continuously gets done wrong. I have to be honest though, when it involves people who look most like me, it strikes a different cord. I figure it might be because those who look most like me are those who get treated the worse.



You see or hear proof of what I’m saying 5 to 6 times a week if not everyday of the week.

Example: The Flint crisis, Central Park Five, property value decreasing if you’re selling while black. That is only three examples, I could have listed a lot more. I’m not going to do that. I’m sure you get the point.

I have to say, I have nothing against anyone. I just feel really messed up about situations like this. I believe it’s sad that things like this still happen. I don’t know the answer to correcting the way some people see us. I thought if people of color moved to their own separate island things could change. But I’m sure if we were lucky enough to get that type of freedom; someone would want to burn the island down. Not being dramatic. It’s just that history has proven that is something that could happen (Black Wall Street).

Don’t think I see everyone through the same lens because that isn’t the case. I just know there are some people who want us to remain here, because as long as we’re here they can feel superior, and countless other benefits of us remaining here. It’s sad but true.

For many years black and brown people have been treated unfairly, partly because of their skin color, but mainly we have allowed it. Everyday I have the same argument with my boyfriend; he loves to say, “Black Americans are weak! They only kill you’ll and treat you that way because you’re weak!” That is what I have to hear everyday.

I have to say though, it gets under my skin, partly because it’s true. Also there are some things African Americans had to endure and are still dealing with, because they’re more concerned about making sure their family is safe. To be honest many of us have only been taught to survive, not thrive. Thriving is completely different from surviving.

Thriving: To prosper; be fortunate or successful.

Surviving: To remain or continue in existence or use.

I figure Black Americans handle things differently because we have been under a thumb since we have been on this earth. Although you have some who are fearless regardless of the trials and tribulations they face. Then you have others who are tired of getting beaten on, either physically or indirectly. They’re just tired of feeling the sting, so they find a way to have a nice quiet corner they can call theirs’, in hopes to not be bothered. But the government doesn’t sleep, if they want you they’re going to find a way to get you.

I figure people from other countries or islands don’t understand the way we do things because in their life time they’ve had it hard, “True”. But many haven’t had to deal with daily interactions with people who would oppress them if given the chance.

I feel as a Black American, I’m one of the least protected. Someone could walk up to me and choose to end my life for any reason and most likely they would only get a slap on the wrist.

Q: Why?

A: Because my skin wasn’t the color of importance.

Everyday a black or brown person is being arrested, killed, discriminated against, and anything else you could think of. All because of ignorance and control.

I could go on and on, but I want to hear what are some of your thoughts on this subject.

As Always….

Information Provided By: www.dictionary.com, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenwood,_Tulsa, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flint_water_crisis, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case, http://www.unz.com/isteve/blacks-and-property-values/,

Photo Provided By: https://www.canstockphoto.com/vector-colorful-icon-people-of-united-43187146.html

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · Movie Review · Race · relationship · Thoughts

An Oldie, But a Goodie

Good Mornting, my Beautiful People!!!!

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There’s a movie I wanted to pull from the archive’s. Not sure if you’ve seen it. If you haven’t, you need too.

Claudine

It’s a movie made back in 1974, about an African American woman who has six children. Who also happens to be on government assistance. Claudine, played by Diahann Carroll  started dating Rupert “Roop” Marshall played by James Earl Jones. She wanted to keep the relationship going, but there was push back from her children and Government Assistance. Her children where giving her and Roop a hard time because they feared he would hurt her just like her ex-husband did. So they tried to shelter her from that. The government on the other hand wanted to either take away or lower the amount she got every month, if she was found to either be dating or had a job. If she ever got married, you could forget about it.

During those times, if you had children and you were black without any special skills or luck; you were literally living paycheck to paycheck. Not to mention all the other things you had to endure.

Roop on the other hand had his own problems. He was behind in his child support. So because of that, the government started garnishing his wages. As a result, he got depressed and threw himself a pity party. Almost severing the relationship he developed with Claudine and her children.

 

The Break Down

There were other things I could’ve pulled from the movie, but the situations stated spoke volumes. The one which spoke the loudest was when Claudine (mother of six) felt she had to lie about having a job and dating because she didn’t want to loose her financial benefits from the state. I know some may look at it as stealing. I see it as a woman trying to make sure her children were taken care of. The sad part is, this was a common occurrence in those times. People of color still get paid and got paid less then someone who was white and had the same job as them. So even though she had a job, her income was no where near the needed amount to take care of six children, herself and a household. 

Roop’s situation was reversed, he was a black man who had children, but instead of taking care of them he had to provide child support. His situation was bad, because as we know and I stated earlier black people in those times did not generally get the same pay as someone who was of a lighter race.

The Disconnect

Those who saw people of color as less than, have had a hand in the way we see ourselves all through history. Think of it like this: You have two people working to take care of a family, house, children, and themselves. Not to mention these people haven’t been given the same opportunities as those that have been fortunate to go to college, get degrees and have generational wealth.

Later down the line, after being with each other for a while, realize being apart is better financially for everyone involved. The mother is able to get government assistance, child support, food stamps, and housing; all because she isn’t married.

The man on the other had has to be away from his family. This could either be seen as a negative or a positive. Positive because he’s free to keep living life as a free man without the stress of taking care of anyone but himself. Negative for the fact that he isn’t their experiencing every moment with his children. Also, child support has the tendency to make Mothers and Fathers turn against each other. Reason being, the Father feels like he’s getting taken advantage of by the “Mother” and the Government.  So sometimes, even though some couples may have that arrangement, it eventually causes them to separate because the financial and psychological burden is sometimes to hard to bare.

What we don’t realize today is; the acts that took place back then and some even today are and have been geared toward dividing us. For the simple fact of “Control”. The masses have realized if we’re divided there’s no way we can be great because we’re to busy tearing down each other. 

Info and Pictures Provided By: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claudine_(film), https://www.amazon.com/Claudine-Diahann-Carroll/dp/B00007AJG2, https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0140792/bio, https://www.biography.com/actor/james-earl-jones, https://cellcode.us/quotes/diahann-carroll-claudine-movie.html, <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/vX_Vzl-r8NY” frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture” allowfullscreen></iframe>, <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/UP-v7kxrwdE” frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture” allowfullscreen></iframe>, http://culvercitycrossroads.com/2015/07/20/mclm-black-talkies-presents-claudine-july-25/

empowering · Informative · motivational · Race · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

Everybody Needs Love

This may be a little off topic, but I was thinking of how everyone has an opinion about black women, especially the black men that share the same melanin with us. There are so many men out here who feel dating a black woman is a last resort. I have a couple of questions for you:

  • Why is dating a woman who shares something so intimate as your struggle unappealing?
  • Did you not love your mother?
  • Do you secretly believe you’re unlovable and unattractive? Is that why you don’t find women that share physical and emotional qualities with you attractive?
  • Are black women deemed unattractive because we remind you of the real problems you’re trying to run away from when you date, marry, love, or impregnate someone of a lighter complexion?
  • Or could it be what others believe; constant manipulation over the years has turned us against each other?

I understand some men just prefer a woman that looks least like them; sometime for no particular reason. But the men that say they want to marry outside of their race because they want children with loose curly hair, light complexion, green or blue eyes; or because they have this notion that all black women are ghetto and have little to no etiquette or those who feel black women represent the struggle in every since of the word.  I just wanna say that every black woman is not the same. There are so many men out there whether they be Black, White Spanish, Indian, Chinese, they will not date certain women because of what they heard about them. Many times it’s not because of things they experienced, it’s merely based off of something someone else said, or one bad run in with a woman of a race different than their own. How is it possible to judge a entire race on one encounter with someone who doesn’t share your ethnicity, culture, religion, or sex? What people need to start realizing is that everyone is an individual, not every white person is going to act the same, just like not every Chinese person is going to act the same. Everyone has free will, that means we all have the right to choose how we are going to live this life and who we’re going to spend it with.

I remember years ago a family member asked me why I liked dating a specific culture. She made it seem like there was something wrong with the type of man that I chose to date, and because of that I tried dating different types of men, but something about me and them just did not mix. So I went back to dating the type of man I felt comfortable with, and I have to say; 4 years lately I do not regret my decision. I say that to only prove that you are the only one who knows what your heart needs, if it’s someone that doesn’t share the same culture, skin, ethnicity, or whatever; so be it. You love who you love, but not loving women of your race because being with them reminds you of hard times, is a cop out. Love who you love, but let the love be real and authentic. So many people these days only marry and have children because they want something from the other person. I believe the only time to get married is when you have her back and you know she has yours, and there’s love and understanding there; the same goes for when you have children.

I also would like to add, don’t deny the chance to get to know or date someone because they’re not what you would typically go for.  You never know they could be exactly what you need.

Race · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

R U Jealous Ma?

Hope all is well.

I’m coming to you today about a topic that shouldn’t even be a thing; Mothers being jealous of their children. What is that?! I thought parents are suppose to want to see their children do well. What is this jealousy that some parents harbor towards their children?

What brings me to this subject is something that happened recently. I can’t really speak on the details. But, imagine you’re living your best life, and all of that gets taken away because you have people around you that want to see you fail.

Constantly things go wrong for people because they decide to listen to what other people tell them. Sometimes it’s good to get feedback. But if it’s the type of feed back that could alter your life in a negative way, you should take time to reflect, what is really going to be the best thing for you and all parties involved. Always remember, people only know what you show them. That’s why it’s key to never let certain people know everything, because the way they choose to handle it is not always going to be the way you would. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but the only one that counts are from those that are involved in that situation. Stop allowing other peoples’ voice to over shadow your own. Sometime their only speaking up to get what you got. Like they say “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. In some cases, your friends can turn out to be worse than your enemies, you just haven’t realized it yet. That’s why you have to be selective on who you choose to let in your circle.

Many people don’t recognize sabotage when it’s place in front of them. Especially if that sabotage is coming from a family member or (friend). It’s common for someone to believe as long as you got family, you have nothing to worry about. Truth be told, you have to worry about family messing you over, long before you have to worry about a friend doing so. It wasn’t like that when I was growing up. Your mother was your mother and she loved you with all of her heart, and would never want to do anything to intentionally hurt you, because hurting you would be like hurting herself. As for cousins, aunties, uncles, and siblings this was also true for them, because a lot of us believed there was no deeper bond than blood. These days those values aren’t instilled in families. Many children today, don’t learn this concept. They may have been told to watch out for each other, but children are going to do what you do, not what you say do.

There are too many parents that are the “Do as I say, not as I do” type parent. That may be why we have so many young people out here that value things over actual family and human connection, it’s sad when you think about it. There are so many people who would cherish a car or piece of clothing because of the designer attached to the label, but be quick to throw away something that was passed down through the family for generation to generation.

They say, “Money is the root of all evil”. I refuse to believe that, because God gave us free will. If money is the root to you mistreating, hurting others, and just being an over all bad person; it’s because that’s who you were long before you had the money. Money just amplified the type of person you already are.

So, if you know a person that was mean before they had money, most likely they’re going to be mean once they have the money. There’s no difference, the vision of what kind of person they are becomes clearer. Especially since money, in most cases always that person to act like the ass they always were, without any kind of consequence.

As for the parents that are jealous of their children,…. GROW UP! Stop trying to blame your kids because your life didn’t end up they way you wanted it too. In no way is that their fault. If you got pregnant young, it’s nobodies fault but your own. You laid up there and got pregnant. In most cases no one put a gun up to your head and said, “Spread your legs, and have this baby!” You chose to do so. So the next time you have an ill thought towards your child because you feel like they messed up your life; know that it was you who did it to yourself.

Please leave a comment stating if you have ever run into this type of parent.

I would love to hear what you have to say. As always I love you all, and……….

Thanks For Reading!!

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Informative · Race · Thoughts

What is the Right Hair Type?

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Why do some people believe they have the right to talk about something on someone else’s body? I don’t care what it is. In this case it is black women’s hair. I came across a video of a video picking apart the person who said the harsh things about black women’s hair. I know we are suppose to have freedom of speech. But, how are you going to talk about something you don’t have, let alone understand?! So you couldn’t possibly understand the struggle the people who own this type of hair, face. This person used descriptions such as dirty, smelly, ratty, and plenty of other unflattering words to describe an average black woman’s hair. But when it comes to describing someone of his race’s hair he had plenty of positive things to say.

There was a point in the video he presented a woman with braids. He started laying into her. Saying “Her hair must stink, because there’s no way she’s able to wash her hair daily, with that type of style.” I’m not going to lie, that made my blood boil. I just wanted to scream. See, the problem with people who don’t hang around or know people of other races is, they are left with their own thoughts about those outside of their race, and most times because their left with their thoughts, they believe their thoughts are right. Although not washing your hair two to three or more times a week can be seen as dirty to someone with a straighter hair type, such as a 1a to a 3b. It’s not viewed as so to those with 3c to 4c hair types. Reason being, we understand what our hair needs.

For someone with a frizzier hair texture such as a 4c, washing the hair daily promotes breakage. As we know, curly hair is the hair type most prone to breakage. We wear our hair in braids, twists, and various other styles to preserve it. I get you may not understand that, if you’re someone who doesn’t have naturally tight curly or kinky hair. All I’m saying is to keep your opinions to yourself, if you don’t know what you’re talking about. But if you’re willing to learn or want to learn more about kinkier or curlier textures, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Just make sure you’re asking in a respectful manner.

Also, black women are told daily what is deemed acceptable and what isn’t, most times by those who don’t look like them. I don’t think our hair should be one of those things. As long as it is neatly maintained, there is nothing else to say. People always want to give an opinion where it isn’t warranted. If you haven’t struggled to get a comb through your hair or struggled to do your hair because it’s so curly the strands wrap around each other, causing what some may consider naps. You have nothing to say to me or to the women that occupy this type of hair.

Further more, why should I have to make myself uncomfortable to maintain a high paying job? Yes, hair plays a really big part when it comes to getting a good job for women with darker skin and tightly curled hair. So much so, it is suggested that these women either where wigs or get their hair altered chemically, which is permanently straightened until the hair is cut off or putting heat to the hair to straighten it. Both are capable of causing irreparable damage, one more so than the other.

My question to you is…..

                            “Why must a person change to be deemed acceptable?” 

 

Below is a video of black women wearing various protective styles. F.Y.I this is done to preserve the hair to promote growth. Also down below is a list of hair products that have proved to work on textures ranging from 3c to 4c.

 

 

List of hair products that I’ve used, and some I haven’t

Denman Brush

Castor Oil  (Works for some hair types. Can be a little heavy for low porosity hair)

Shea Moisture’s Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Masque

Scalp Massager (I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard great things about it. It’s purpose is to stimulate hair growth.) 

As I am- Double Butter Moisturizer (Anything from the original line works wonders!)

TGIN (This is another one that I have yet to try, but comes highly recommended)

Thanks For Reading!!

 

Photos Provided By: https://bglh-marketplace.com/2012/07/6-styling-tools-every-natural-should-have/https://twelveminutemuse.com/short-natural-hairstyles-for-black-women2015/short-natural-hairstyles-for-black-women2015-awesome-bigy-curly-nappy-fro-hair-and-beauty-pinterest/https://www.pinterest.com/pin/565553665701320579/?lp=truehttps://www.styleinterest.com/protective-hairstyles/https://www.pinterest.com/pin/404338872789818772/?lp=truehttp://www.deluxe-china.com/protective-hairstyles-braids/protective-hairstyles-braids-50-protective-hairstyles-for-natural-hair-hair-motive-hair-motive-medium-hairstyles-for-men/https://www.refinery29.com/natural-hair-protective-hairstyles-tutorials,https://therighthairstyles.com/30-best-natural-hairstyles-for-african-american-women/https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/369295238186885216/?lp=true

  

Race · story telling · Thoughts

Unconditional Love

imitation-of-life I was thinking of a movie I grew up with, ‘Imitation of Life’. That movie made me cry every time I saw it. If you haven’t seen it, it was a story about two women raising their children. The white mother had a daughter with blonde hair and blue eyes and the black mother had a daughter that had brown hair and brown eyes. But if you didn’t know her mother was black you would think she was white. The sadness starts when it becomes clear Sara Jane (the daughter of Annie) hates the fact she has a black mother. Truth be told the movie was really focused on Sara Jane and Annie. It focused on the resistance Sara Jane had towards being classified as black. Every chance she got she rejected her true identity, which was being a black woman that looked white.

That’s one reason why I don’t think of people as a color because genes determine what we look like. A black woman could have a child with light eyes or straight hair. It all depends on the genes. That’s why I didn’t and still don’t understand why race is such a big issue. Everyone’s the same, we just look different. But I have to say, I do understand why it became such a big issue back then. People made it that way. From then to now we’re having the same issues and it all boils down to power and acceptance. That’s why  Sara Jane struggled with her identity and why so many others lived a life similar to the one she tried to live. All because of acceptance and not wanting to go through what darker skin blacks had to endure i.e. the one’s that couldn’t pass.imitation-of-life-still-02_758_426_81_s_c1

The relationship between Annie and Sara Jane took me for a ride. There was never a time Sara Jane looked happy around her mother. Even though Annie was the best all around, Sara Jane was never happy. I’m sure it had plenty to do with her thoughts about the limitations that would be placed on her because of her classification. Time after time she ran away, lied, and denied her identity.  But there came a time when she lost what really meant most to her. That thing wasn’t really a thing at all. It was the person that loved her more than anyone else in this world, her mother. It wasn’t until then, she realized the era of her ways, but by then it was too late. Her mother was gone and she lost the chance to be the type of daughter her mother deserved. sarah-jane1

 

I guess you could say I chose to write about this movie because it seems like we’re reverting back to the way this country use to be. A lot of people think that it’s a good thing. I’m sure it’s not everyone but the number of people with this backwards thinking is growing. Like it or not, we all came from the same place. We maybe different but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t connected. So if your the type of person that believes someone isn’t on your level because of their race; I’m sorry to inform you honey, the only difference between you and them is the amount of melanin in your skin. But underneath, you both are the same. So learn to love your brothers and sisters because like I said, we’re all connected. There’s no need to hate or spread chaos and dismay because you want to remain in power or for the sake of ignorance. My answer to curing ignorance, is to expand your mind and open your heart to people that don’t look like you. You never know how knowing them may bless your life.

brunch (1)

 

 

 

Photos Provided By: https://eng3122.wordpress.com/group-5-main/1954-to-1959/conflict-with-authority-manifested-in-imitation-of-life-1959/, https://bobcb518.wordpress.com/2011/06/16/dear-movies-please-stop-making-me-cry/https://drafthouse.com/show/free-victory-screening-imitation-of-life-1959, http://www.brattleblog.brattlefilm.org/2015/08/07/imitation-of-life-supplemental-reading-3129/http://movielistsman.com/10-classic-movies-may-enjoy/