empowering · Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Rant · self-esteem · Thoughts

Confidence?

Good Morning!!!

Hope you all are doing great!!!

Today is going to be a great day!!! I was finally able to get internet service in the classroom 🤯!!! I can’t believe it!!!

Well let me get to the subject at hand.

Being 100 and 10% YOU.

This is something that seems to be next to impossible for most of us to do. We’re able to accomplish it; but it seems to only be when we’re around people we know and love. Many because we know they love us and we could never do anything too weird or out of the way that would make them want to take their love away. In other words; We trust them.

That’s all well and good, but we me included need to always be the person we are truly. It’s a hard task to manage, but I believe it is something that needs to be done.

That changes when you have people who come from different countries. I don’t know what it is, but many of them have learned to walk with confidence and stand in their truth; so it seems. I might be wrong. But I love the confidence and boldness of people who come from places like Puerto Rico, Haiti, The Dominican Republic and so on.

What makes the people so attractive and attention grabbing is their ability to behave or react freely. The whole time staying true to themself. Something I would really love to learn.

If you have found that spark and have learned to live as your 100 and 10% self, please pass the secret along.

As always

Experiences · Feelings · Rant · Thoughts · Venting

Timid

Morning Good People!!! Hope life is treating you well.

There is always something you’re going to have to deal with. As you may have guessed I’m not the type of person who likes conflict; hate it. But it seems like something is always happening to were I’m involved in something I didn’t intend on getting myself into.

If you didn’t know I’m someone who avoids occured moments at all costs. I hate feeling uncomfortable. I’m telling you, I believe that was my initial reason for wanting to work by myself. Cause at least working for yourself you for the most part control the situation.

People say, “Get a backbone!” But how when being this way has helped me so much in moving through the world?

Final Thought

I know at some point in time I will be that person who speaks up but I guess it’s just not now.

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · Rant · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · Thoughts · Venting

Going through the Motions

Good Morning!!!

As always I hope everyone is doing well. First off I have to say there is a reason that I haven’t been blogging lately. There have been some things that I’ve been going through and feelings have been fluctuating. Some days I feel good other days I feel deep and in my feelings, but either way I’m going to find a way to push through.

Recently I met someone I believed could have been a beautiful distraction, but later realized what he was offering I was not a connoisseur of. But I’m not going to lie, I had fun through the learning process. The only thing about it was the feelings that come after everything is said and done.

So now I’m stuck by myself. I have family and friends, but I am not as close to them all as I should be. Reason for that is; my constant need to be in a relationship or in this case a “situationship”. I’ve always managed to forget what I have going on and worry more about the man in my life. I guess I feel that way because I’ve never experienced the feeling of a man being absolutely crazy about me. I’m sure many women know what I mean.

What that stems from is not having a real male figure in my life who showed me love and affection. True there was a male figure in my life, but he never showed me love and kindness. What ever he did for me he wanted a pat on the back for, it never came from the heart. So as a result of growing up with a male like that as a role model, I unintentionally sot out men who were like him. When I tell you I had no idea that’s what I was doing until I got in my mid-thirties!

I really feel like I wasted time. So many times I swallowed my opinions and feelings to keep receiving the attention of a man. Truth be told I’ve never felt worthy of any mans attention, because all the men in my life while growing up left or treated me poorly; my father, step-father, guys I went to school with, and teenage boyfriends.

Many people may believe it’s possible to raise a child with only one parent being in their child’s life. It may be true, but it wasn’t the case for me. I feel I would have developed more of a balanced opinion on men and women if I had more male figures in my life. Hell, if I had even one stable positive male role model in my life growing up I wouldn’t have such  low expectations of the men who come in my life. But I know that it’s something I have to learn and grow from.

On to the next…..

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · Rant · Thoughts

Your reason for living

Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming; not good or bad. Although this year it has been leaning a little more to the bad side. Even though ever thing hasn’t been as I would’ve hoped, I’m still here and I’m alive. Instead of concentrating on the negative, I’m working really hard to focus on things that are in my power to control. I have to say that the changes that I want to start happening haven’t begun to happen just yet. Even though they haven’t I’m going to continue to be positive and work towards the many good things that I want to appear through out my life. Some of those things are:

  • Great relationships
  • traveling
  • true unmeasured love
  • freedom
  • recognition world wide, for my work
  • being a successful author

For the past couple of years I’ve been working at getting my name out there. I can’t really say that no one other than my family knows who I am; even though I’m still going to keep trying, this time with more consistent effort.

Final Thought

If you have something that you know that you were put here to do, let nothing stop you from doing that thing. You’ll never be truly satisfied with life until you’ve done it.

Go Big or Go Home

Also don’t forget to check out my recently published book

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Rant · Thoughts · Venting

Reality

MY RECENTLY

PUBLISHED BOOK

ONLY AVALIABLE ON AMAZON.COM

Have you ever gone to sleep, and slept so good you didn’t want to get up?…

Not because the sleep was so good. Even though I’m sure that would be true. More because while you were asleep you had no worries. You didn’t have to think about going to work or what bills needed your attention. It was just you, and your bed.

That was the type of sleep I had just before waking. Then as soon as I woke up all those negative feelings came rushing back. I’m sure there’s going to be a silver lining coming from all of this negativity I’m experiencing. I just wish it would come already. I’m not going to bore you with the details that are my life. But I feel like I’m close to my lowest point.

I don’t want to make this one of those depressing blogs. I know….

Too late!

I don’t want it to seem like I don’t have anything to be grateful for because I do. I have plenty to be thankful for. My mother, family, my job(s), my published book, this blog, my intelligence. Really… I could keep going. But the things I’m searching for in life have not made their way to me yet; things like freedom and financial stability.

I’m trying to keep a positive mindset, but sometimes I find myself going down the rabbit hole of negativity.

If you have gone through this stage at any point in life, make sure to share your story. I would love to read them. Who knows, my story maybe simliar to yours.

All video and photos Provided by: YouTube.com,

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Rant · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · story telling

Experience is the best teacher

As I said in the video, there are so many young girls who want a boyfriend so bad, they’ll put their selves through torture just to say they have someone. That is a very bad practice to have. The only validation need is self validation. Once you really begin to appreciate yourself and everything that comes with being you, you start to realize how truly special you are.

Side Note: I know…. I don’t say things that are going to shock you and make you want to listen to me further. The reason for that is, I’ve never been someone who needed to hurt your feelings or trick you in to taking my advice. It’s either you do or you don’t. But I hope you do, because there is a better life out there waiting for you, once you realize how much you deserve it.

For those of you who continuously check in,  I am so grateful to you. Without you this site would be nothing. Also I know consistency is key. I’m really trying to work on that. But there’s something I need you to do for me; drop me a line, stating what kinds of things you would like to see on this blog. I understand I’m the administer, but this blog will not grow with out your input. So please, comment away. Also if you enjoyed the video above, make sure to like and subscribe, because I’ll be posting much more frequently on my YouTube page.

Thank you all so much for the support. As always

empowering · Informative · Rant · Thoughts

The Media

Good Morning, Wonderful People!!!!!

As always I was taking a deep dive into my brain. The thought of today pertains to the media and the way they target the young. I’m sure a lot of us think about it, but we never say anything about it.

They don’t focus on people that are in or nearing their 30’s because they know that’s when the light comes on; and a lot of stupid things we use to worry about, we don’t anymore. Also most of us are set in our ways. If we don’t want something there is no way you’re going to get a 30 something woman are man to buy it.

Older people tend to understand the importance of a dollar; some more than others. Another thing, people who came from nothing, are also people who learn how to make their money work for them and not the other way around. You just have to be willing to learn, and know you don’t know everything.

That’s one reason I’m sure they target children, teens and young adults; because many industries, company, and organizations know this large group of adolescents are very impressionable. That’s why a lot of these household companies and names have been paid so much; because they know how to make what could be potentially bad for you, look good.

An ad from maybe 50 to 60 years ago, that made smoking look cool.

There are so many things American people don’t know. Not because of companies keeping information from us, but for the fact that many of us are lazy or in denial and think, “Our government wouldn’t do that to us.” Bull****!!! The one’s who run this country are the 1%. Do you really believe they care about you and your health? We do have some people that actually care. But the amount of people who do care verses the amount of those who don’t is very slim. Also, money is the name of the game. For those 1%; if it don’t make money, it don’t make sense.

That’s why I believe these industries have come up with ways to make veganism cool or tolerable, for lack of a better word. I’ve said this before; being a vegan is the best way of life. But that only applies if your diet consists of at least 85 to 95% organically grown plant based foods. No manufactured foods. Just what God put here for us to eat.

I realize I’m going way off subject. But, this is just one example of how industries take advantage of young adolescents. Through the ages they’ve even geared something as toxic as smoking towards teens. Trying to make it seem normal and none harmful. When in reality it has and continues to cause cancer. Truth be told, there are so many things we consume daily, that aren’t and never have been good for us. Many of us don’t even eat food anymore. We eat chemicals and carcasses. I know that may sting, but it’s the truth.

Final thought: There is always going to be some new thing that are going to seem like the best thing since sliced bread. But your job is not to be tricked into consuming something, just because it is the new fad. But get it because it offers abundant value.

As Always….

Photos Provided By: https://www.terrampacis.org/media, https://www.jellybeancreative.co.uk/2018/08/07/food-and-drink-marketing-the-rise-of-veganism/, http://opencc.co.uk/blog/smokingdigitalmarketin/

empowering · Feelings · health · Informative · Rant · Thoughts · Venting

War on Women

What is a miscarriage?
Miscarriage is when an embryo or fetus dies before the 20th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage usually happens early in your pregnancy — 8 out of 10 miscarriages happen in the first 3 months.
Lots of people experience this kind of pregnancy loss. In fact, 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. But even though miscarriage is common, it can be emotionally difficult. Feelings of grief and loss are normal after losing a pregnancy.
The medical term for miscarriage is “spontaneous abortion.”

What are the causes of miscarriage?

It can be difficult to know exactly why a miscarriage happened, but it’s almost never caused by something the pregnant person did. Normal activities like sex, exercise, working, and taking most medicines do NOT cause a miscarriage. Minor injuries, like falling, don’t generally cause a miscarriage either.
Some things that are known to cause miscarriages include:
When the fertilized egg has an abnormal number of chromosomes (genes). This happens at random, so you can’t prevent it or cause it to happen.
Certain illnesses, like severe diabetes, can increase your chances of having a miscarriage.
A very serious infection or a major injury may cause miscarriage.
Late miscarriages — after 3 months — may be caused by abnormalities in the uterus.
If you’ve had more than 2 miscarriages in a row, you’re more likely to have a miscarriage.


Good Morning, Beautiful People!!!

Hope all is well.

I wanted to share with you something most men will never worry about a day in their lives’; Miscarriage. I think this is something that needs to be reflected on a little longer, in a lot more depth.

Miscarriages are already something women take hard in the first place! I don’t understand how a man or a large group of men have the right to decide on the fate of a woman and her body! They have never had to go through one painful period, or the embarrassment of walking around not noticing you bled through because your pad shifted, or your flow was too heavy for your tampon or pad, or even the pain of loosing a child or bleeding so heavy til you literally see stars.

No, man knows anything about this. So, I’m not understand how in Georgia they’re saying miscarriage is consider second degree murder and women who experience miscarriages could be sentenced to 30yrs in prison! Doesn’t that sound crazy?!

First of all; How are you going to imprison a woman for something that is happening with her body?!

To be honest, I feel like we’re going back to the 1800’s, where men did whatever they wanted and women had to deal with it! How in the hell is it possible that we have, most likely more women than we do men and they still have say so over what a woman does with her body?!! I’m in no way saying I’m for abortion. I just think your body is your business, and no government, man or other entity should have the right to tell you what to do with it.

Think of it like this, if the Creator didn’t want you to have it, it wouldn’t be yours.

I would really love to see something be done about theses ridiculous laws concerning abortion. To be honest the only one that really concerns me is the one in Georgia. I feel like because of this new law, there are going to be plenty women afraid to go to the doctor, for the simple fact that it could land them in jail for 30yrs. Because of this, a lot of women won’t get the type of care they need for they’re babies, that are going to come in to the world.

Another thing that could be possible is; they’re coming up with these laws to slow down the population. Think about it; if you knew you couldn’t get an abortion or having a spontaneous miscarriage could land you in jail. Wouldn’t you do all you could not to get pregnant in the first place?

If you would like to read the full article link is below.

https://www.businessinsider.com/misguided-science-behind-georgias-abortion-miscarriage-law-2019-5?fbclid=IwAR0MAc1sfxN0p_ctMm3jQxu42gZ4qtpZi3R9kqo0EdhOz-M_lzze1BI-CH0

I would love to know your thoughts on these new laws concerning Abortions and Miscarriages.

Remember if you want something to be done, you can’t wait for someone else to do it for you. You have to start the change yourself.

What is a miscarriage? & What are the causes of miscarriage? Information were taken from: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/pregnancy/miscarriage

Photos Provided By: https://www.liveaction.org/news/family-remembers-baby-walter-miscarried-19-weeks/, https://atlantabirthcenter.org/miscarriage-a-pain-like-no-other/, https://www.loveliveson.com/miscarriage-50-celebrities-share-their-personal-heartbreak/

Rant · Venting

Jekeria a.k.a Jekyll wants to Play

I’m thinking about bringing another segment to the blog. It wouldn’t have anything to do with any of the regular things I talk about. This part of the blog would be for things I want to say, the way I want to say them. I’ll give you an example.

I have a really relaxed chill life. But….. people stay trying me!!! It doesn’t matter were I go, someone is bound to take a shot!! I was thinking about this time I use to work for this retail store; I’m taking care of the people in line; because I was a cashier back then. Then I see these three big tall Lerch looking mfers. Granted the women didn’t say anything, but they laughed at the guy’s attempted joke. He had the nerve to ask who did my hair. I knew it was looking a little f***** up, but I had to work!

Back then I didn’t have the time or even the motivation to look like I gave a damn. There were problems at home with my step-father, my current boyfriend; and all around I was miserable. So, you know him trying to crack a joke pissed me off! I’m sure it would have gotten on anyone’s nerves. It got on my laaaast one!! But I held it together ( because that’s what I do). Not that I wanted to. I just didn’t want any problems. I couldn’t tell you how many times I thought of causing some of those people bodily harm! S***, I felt if they wanted to come in and make my life difficult, I could do the same damn thing! In so many ways, they were telling me they wanted the same treatment they were putting out. Like so many say, “You get what you give.” Back then a lot of people were serving attitude.

Most times I would get them out of my face as quick as possible because I knew if I said the wrong thing I could have lost my job (News flash: I lost my job anyway). It’s funny how things work out.

I have way more experiences to share. Most are way more dramatic and problematic than this one.

If you’re interested in getting more post like this, LEAVE a COMMENT, LIKE, and or SUBSCRIBE.

Photo Provided By: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/32228953553576844/?lp=true

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY

Feelings · Informative · Rant · Thoughts

Fat Shaming in 2019. Really?

I don’t really know if this is considered news; but recently Future got called out for fat shaming, because he supposedly said ‘No Fatties’ at a club event. To be honest that doesn’t sound like something he would say; but hey, you never know. This in turn caused a plus-size model to be turned away. Not sure if she was the only full figured woman in attendance, but she definitely was turned away. After being embarrassed she tried contacting the club and Future’s publicist but received no response. She finally got an answer when she contacted Future on Instagram and was told by him that he did not say that, and basically she shouldn’t have said he said that unless she got it from his mouth. That’s not what he said verbatim, but that was pretty much the gist of it.

I bring this up because there is shaming people because they are gay, poor, and weird; but, something is always done to stop people from making fun of them. There always seems to be some type of movement to stop a person from criticizing someone other than fat people for their differences. There are people who make fun of people who are fat because they think it’s funny. I really never understood the humor in making someone feel self conscience because they may not look like the ‘Average person’.

News flash: Everyone isn’t the same, never will be.

That’s why we are individuals because we think differently, there for we look differently. I’m not saying to turn a blind eye and not help when you see they need help to get healthier. I’m only saying, sometimes a person’s body size doesn’t always have to mean that they’re unhealthy. Sometimes that’s just the way some of our bodies are setup.

Another thing I wanted to touch on is; these people out here who believe a person that is fat is nasty, stank, and doesn’t like to wash their a**. I’m not gonna lie and say that it isn’t true in some cases. But that is only some of the time, that doesn’t apply to every fat person you come in to contact with. I don’t know about anyone else… But, I make sure I take a bath everyday some times 2x to 3x a day. So, many times that is just an individual experience. Also, their are people out here that are thin that don’t shower and smell soooo bad, they literally make your stomach turn. No lie; I was at work one time and this women came in; she may have stood at my counter for maybe.. 4 or 5 minutes. She always had a smell to her, but that day she smelled stronger than usual. By the time she left I had to leave. My stomach couldn’t take anymore. I was sick to my stomach. I ended up going home maybe 20 minutes after she left.

I know some people maybe thinking ” Why not just loose the weight? So you won’t have to worry about being ‘Fat Shamed’.” I get that some people may think that is the solution, but I think you should loose weight because you want to for yourself and your family. Not because someone else thinks you should.

Little known fact: People only change because they want too.

By making fun of the way someone looks; or treating them differently because of their looks, doesn’t make a person want to change. There are times I go pleases and people treat me with little to no respect because of my looks. I don’t understand how people can be so vain to think that the way you look constitutes they way this world treats you.

I understand some of us do it because we have been taught to be that way or because we aren’t use to being around people who are different from us. It almost reminds me of the way other children would look at my children I us to work with in IND (Intensive Needs). They made fun of them because they couldn’t understand why they were different; and also how to handle them and their differences. But once they got to know them and hung around them, they understood they were people just like them with feeling and emotions.

” data-wplink-url-error=”true”>Also don’t for get to check out my recently published book LOYALTY:LOVE, LIES, and BETRAYAL By: Shadrieka Franks

Photo Provided By: Pinterest