Question of the day: Moving back with your parents; how would you feel about that after experiencing real independence?
S*** is getting real, real quick. I knew this day was coming, I just didn’t realize how fast it was gonna get here. The last time I checked I still had five months. At that time 5 months seemed like a lot of time to get my s*** together. But as we all know when you’re in a time crunch, days roll around like minutes, and months go around like hours.
So now I’m about two months away from the final day of living in my lovely first apartment. I’m sure once the day comes for me to move I’m gonna be so emotional, because I really created a bond and a love for where I live. There were so many days coming home from work an event whatever the case was; I would be so happy to just go home. What made me so at peace with being home alone is the fact that I saw it as an accomplishment. Also there was a peace in coming home knowing I was the boss of me and didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want too.
For years before I moved out of my mother’s house I thought I would never be able to move out. Now I know I’m capable of taking care of myself. The relationship didn’t work out, but at least I can say I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in the process. It almost brings me to tears thinking of how much I pushed the real me down to fit into other peoples ideal of me. I have way more to learn, but I know I’m well on my way to becoming the free unbound spirit I know I was always meant to be.
Believe me I know it’s a hard task to be 100% you and not care about the judgement and dirty looks you may get from others because you choose to do things differently. Especially when you’re a highly sensitive person. Many may not understand why being highly sensitive makes being a free spirit that much harder; I’m gonna explain it to you.
Highly sensitive people like myself and many others don’t always do what’s in their heart and minds to do because they’re extremely affected by the thoughts and feelings of the people around them. So if you tell an HSP something is going to make you unhappy or upset, they’re gonna try to do everything in their power to keep you from experiencing those emotions. That’s why a lot of Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) or sometimes Empaths put their wants and needs on the back burner because we’re more concerned with making others feel at ease over ourselves.
I know moving back is not going to be an easy transition, but God willing it will be a productive one. One thing I definitely don’t want to happen is; loosing sight of my goals. Which is producing & selling more books, making and selling more soaps, having a successful Podcast & YouTube. I’m sure I left something out. If you can’t tell, I want to live a life of abundance in everyway.
I guess I feel like this because I spent so much time caring about what other people thought about me and what I do. For years depression and anxiety took over my days, making me paralyzed to the different things I wanted to try and accomplish. I was so overwhelmed with how others viewed me I gave no thought to how I viewed and felt about myself. As I write this I feel the tears wanting to escape, because not that long ago depression and anxiety were ruling my days. I’m still a work in progress. I still have those days when I feel sad and anxious. But you know what gets me through?…. Knowing I have goals to accomplish and how good I’m going to feel when everything I’ve been working for comes to fortition.
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