Working toward something just to get put off and start working on something else. There had been times when I was told what I wanted to do in life was not obtainable. I understood where these people were coming from, but this was my dream and there was NO way I was going to let someone tell me that I can’t get out of this life what I truly want.
For a long time I let what people told me dictate my actions. In many ways I’m still allowing peoples opinions to dictate my actions. Worrying how they would feel if I didn’t follow their advice. But it’s time for things to change and my life to take a new direction. Living for people has gotten me nothing but disappointment and a life that I’m unhappy with.
Let me be brutally honest; I followed what others told me to do because I was too afraid to listen to my own thoughts and what God had to tell me. Over the years there has been so much that he has given to me and I have done nothing with. There have been whole novels that he’s given to me in my sleep. Ideas I’ve been too afraid to act on, because it required me to be a lot more extroverted than I am initially.
Over the years there have been so many things I’ve tried. Money I’ve paid. All because I did not want to work for anyone; and that is still true today. Everyday I have thoughts on what I could do to become my own boss. As I’m sure you see there isn’t anything that has panned out as of yet. I’m sure that is do to my short tension span.
The one thing I know I would love to do for the rest of my life is write. But if I’m honest I know that I won’t be able to half ass writing. It’s not that it’s hard to get paid for it, it’s more of being a writer that stands out of the crowd. When you’re able to do that you have a better chance of better pay, more opportunities and recognition.
The only thing I’ve constantly have been working toward this whole time is getting paid for what I love to do. I’m going to continue to work at it. I’ll be trying to figure it out until I die, because I know that is what I was put here to do.
If there is anything you feel nagging at you, you haven’t done because you’re afraid of what people will say; go ahead and do that thing. It’s going to keep bothering you until you do it.
I was thinking (As I tend to do, from time to time), thinking of our mind and how much control it has over us. If you haven’t realized it yet, you are not your mind.
Many of us believe if we think something is supposed to be like this or that, that this is coming from our thought process. Truth is it’s really boundaries and concepts we’ve learned through the years, that have become habits. From these habits and concepts our mind was created. This also has a lot to do with the way we make decisions and how we approach life.
Many of us don’t notice we’re being controlled by different beliefs and programs we’ve picked up along the way. These things over time allowed us to turn our brains off and rely on rehearsed and engrained programs we’ve come to perfect over the years.
Don’t believe me or unclear about what I mean? Here’s an example of living a life of allowing your mind to dictate your every move: Many adults tend to work their lives’ away in jobs that only ” pay the bills”. They tend to shy away from careers that may seem hard to get into, because through the years they’ve been taught by their peers to take the safe way out. Safe meaning; getting and keeping a job that provides “benefits” such as 401k, and health insurance.
Then we have the example of the person who lives life to the upmost. This is someone who may have been led to believe there is a cap to what they can do, but doesn’t allow other people’s opinions to dictate how they live or go about their life. They remain to be free spirited and don’t allow the restraints of what they’ve learned or been told to hold them back.
If you would like to read more about this concept, please check out the author Eckhart Tolle. His book ” The power of NOW” is a great read and very insightful.
There’s something I’ve been doing for years that I’ve become really good at. That thing is being other people’s right hand. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong there are benefits to making someone else look good; sometime physical and sometimes emotional.
There are those of us that have become so good at this, we tend to do it seamlessly. Many times because we enjoy giving to others. For a time I enjoyed doing this. This was do to always needing approval from my peers and employers. But as of now that is not the current head space I’m in.
Sometimes the people you’re building up only look at you as your job title and nothing more. Then you have others that are able to see you for who you are. That type of relationship can become great, because the person who’s getting the help realizes how imperative it is to have you on their team. Then there are others who act as if they appreciate you. Then you find them doing or saying something that shows they see you as beneath them. This typically occurs when that person has more financially stability than the person who’s helping them.
This is a concept that I’m all too familiar with. That being said; I would love to blame that person for their actions, but it isn’t their fault. It’s mine for allowing that type of treatment. If you don’t know or if it slipped your mind, “People only treat you the way you allow them to.”
Inconclusion, helping others feels good, but only when it’s appreciated, not expected.
If you’ve experienced working in situations such as this, leave a comment on how you dealt with it or if you dealt with it.
I’m sure many of you understand where I’m coming from. I heard this time and time again, but never really thought about it, until last night.
Lately I’ve been watching and listening to inspirational podcasts and shows. The even better thing about this is; the people I’ve been listening too look just like me. The reason this is important is because it helps me to know that there are NO road blocks in my way, only the ones I choose to create.
I’ve come to understand the reason I’m not living a life I desire and love is due to not putting in the work necessary to live a life of happiness. Many of us hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. How can you expect to be wealthy or living the type of life you dream of, if you’re not doing anything to work towards that dream.
Many of us day in and day out only do what is expected of us, because we’re in fear of standing out amongst the crowd and falling on our face. We find ourselves continuously going to a job we loathe because we live in fear of what might happen if we STOP!
I have allowed peoples expectations of me to dictate my moves all my life. This is something I’ve needed to work on for a very long time. I’m choosing to make a step to change my mindset, so that the concern others have over my life does not effect me decisions.
I’m sure you’re like, “Shadrieka you always say that!” It’s true. I have said that in the past, but this time I made a sold move by making an appointment to see a therapist. I’m hoping we’re a good fit and she can help me with my issues. You know, take away the fear of the constant changes you have to go through in order to evolve?
If peoples opinions and your negative self talk is keeping you in a negative mindset, to were you never act on the things you feel, maybe it’s time to make a drastic change. Because the life you desire is one you can have. It’s you who has to take that step to make it pssible.
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Hope your days have been going well. There is so much I want to say. Let me see if I can get my thoughts organized…… SIKE!!! I’m sure if you’ve been a reader of my blog for a while, you know that my thoughts and feelings are everywhere. Many times I just like to give an update about what’s going on in my life. And if there happens to be some kind of lesson or something you can relate to, that is a great thing for me. Because All I really want to do is relate to you all. Let you know that you are not alone in the things you may experience or how you feel.
Thinking you’re the only one who feels or goes through the things you do, is something I experienced for a long time. I truly believe it got to me a little more because I had a mentally and emotionally abusive step father. I like to think he had ‘No’ effect on me, but the older I get the more I realize he’s the reason I handle most people with kid gloves.
I remember being loud, fun, extroverted, and unapologetic when it came to how I interacted with people. Now I’m timid and self conscious. Many times I don’t do things for the fear that my mere appearance will cause the wrong kind of attention. So because of that, a lot of my life has passed by without me doing anything.
I understand I have time to get it right, but it’s gonna take some time. I really would love to get back to being that care-free extrovert I was once upon a time.
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I’m sure you’re looking at the title and you’re like, ” Does that even make any sense?” To be honest, I wouldn’t have known anything like this existed if it wasn’t me going through it. It’s not fun, let me tell you that.
It’s like I love and care about everyone that I’ve ever come in contact with. But, most times I’m either afraid to say something or I’m on a crabby mood and I don’t want to say anything. Either way it’s uncomfortable.
If I weren’t so emotional and cared how others viewed me, I would be at peace right now. I wouldn’t be tormented by my interactions with others. Worry if I was nice enough, if I came off rude, or if they liked me.
What I’ve found out is; personality types such as the INFP( my personality type) are highly sensitive and are constantly seeking the approval from others. Learning this early on would have helped me realize why I’m so different from others.
I’m sure many probably won’t believe this is a real thing. But for me it has helped me a lot in realizing who I am . Also letting me know I’m not that weird because there are other people out there just like me.
If you’re a antisocial people person don’t fret because you have a friend in me.
It’s Friday!!!! Yayyy!!! We’re finally at the end of the work week!! I’m thankful this week went by a heck of a lot faster than last week.
Today’s topic as you’ve seen is “Rolling with the punches”. I feel like that’s what I’m doing and I’m sure a lot of you are also doing this at the current moment. Many times as I’ve stated before, I don’t believe it’s fair. But then again, life isn’t fair. The only thing you can do is live life the best way you know how.
Over the past few weeks there have been a few people around me who have passed away. I just have to say 2020 has been a f***** up year for a lot of us. I just thank God that my family is doing fine and I still have breath in my body ( a chance to turn my health around).
This past week I was hit with even more negative information about myself. At first it broke me down because I wasn’t sure how I was going to fix this problem. But eventually I came up with a solution.
In other posts you’ve seen that I’ve been talking about my health and the sun. Also mentioning how weak and terrible I felt. I have to say that was my own fault, because I know and have known what I have to do to be healthy. My problem is, I let my feelings guide me when most times I’m supposed to us logic.
I have to say though; I’m not going to like the way I have to eat now. But the great thing about it is….. it’s going to prolong my life, and give me a better quality of it.
At first I didn’t realize how big of a role food plays in the way you think and feel. It even is a factor in how successful you become. That’s crazy! It makes sense, but it’s still crazy. Once I learned that, I started to realize why some children were going through school like it was nothing. The answer is their health habits and a few other factors. Of course you have some kids who are going to excel regardless. But for others health is a very major step.
If you feel differently or agree, I would love to hear about how good or bad health has affected your life. I know it has affected mine.
How many of you are into imagining the best possible outcome for your life?
I have to admit, this is something I do on the regular. Sometimes I just need to get away from reality. If I’m honest I couldn’t tell you what I want to do with my life. The only thing I know is I want to be comfortable and taken care of. I’m sure that’s what most of us want. Also to be inwardly happy.
It’s definitely a task to find true happiness. You know, the kind that comes from your own approval and no one else’s? This is what I someday hope to achieve.
Now all I have to do is learn to be me 100% of th e time. That’s a task in itself.
If you’ve enjoyed this post and can relate, I would love to hear your stories.