To the women out there; Have you ever dated someone that makes you question why you’re with them in the first place?
I have, and it wasn’t pretty. I don’t know what made me think of this, but I was thinking about an ex today. That man wasn’t worth the time nor the effort I put into him. He was a F#%*boy if I ever saw one. Everything about him should have made me run the other way, but I didn’t. Something in me always allows me to give people chance after chance, regardless if I already know how they are. I’m always hoping they’ll change for the better. That was the case with him, I thought eventually he would want to do better by me. But that never happened. If anything things got worse. There was time after time I went through hell and back because of this man. Ask me “Why?” I still wouldn’t know til this day. At first I thought it was love, but the older I get the more I realize that it was anything but that. I think it was either because of the sex or because I didn’t want to be alone or maybe even a combination of the two. Either way that relationship or situationship, whatever you want to call it, didn’t serve me as much as it served him.
I’m telling you, I was green (open/ too trusting). When I was younger I thought relationships were easy. I was sooo wrong. If I was being honest with myself, I could have prepared my self for the type of f%#&ery that was coming my way. But no, I didn’t do that, because I thought things were going to be easier for me because I knew what I didn’t want. I was wrong about that too. I was so wrong that I ended up dating the same type of man I didn’t want. Not for a couple of months or year. I dated that man for over EIGHT years close to NINE! We were together from the time I was 19 to 28. The one thing I can say is, he taught me a lot when it comes to being in a relationship. Because of him, I now know what I’m willing to put up with and what I have to walk away from.
Now I can look back on my experience with him and understand that it was not suppose to be forever, even though I wanted it to be. Not because I loved him, but because I didn’t want to be alone. When I was younger, I never was the popular attractive girl. I was the friend of the popular attractive girls. I was cute, but not the type of girl guys wanted. At the time I thought that was a bad thing. Now that I’m older, it really doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve realized being attractive isn’t everything. Being smart trumps being attractive any day. If your persuasive, charming and smart, the world is your oyster, there’s almost nothing you can’t do.
If I had the chance to talk to my younger self, I would tell her, “Everything will work itself out. What is for you, is for you. No one can take that from you.” Knowing that would have stopped me from trying so hard to please those that could care less about pleasing me. It would have also saved me a lot of money. I can remember so many times this one ex in particular always hit me up for money. I thought I loved him, so I gave him money almost every time he asked for it. I don’t know why, but I always felt guilty if I couldn’t give him what he asked for. Over time my relationship with him turned into me giving and giving and giving, without getting anything back in return. I’ve realized now that people are going to treat you how you let them. At the time I didn’t have standards, that’s why he was able to use me the way that he did. If I’m honest with myself and you, I was his pay master. Like I said, I paid for almost everything he ever asked for. Looking back on it, it really pisses me off to think he took advantage of my kindness, low self-esteem and love for him. Like I said he was a f%#*boy if I ever say one!
I guess by putting my experiences out there, I’m hoping to save a lot of young girls and women from unnecessary heartache . If you have someone you’re with and you feel like they don’t appreciate you because they constantly cheat, begging for money, trying to pressure you into doing things that aren’t in your best interest, lie, disappear and any other bad thing I didn’t cover. Run as fast as you can!!! Just know that isn’t the last man that is going to come your way. You are going to find love, just give yourself time. Learn to love you first, so you know how he’s suppose to love you when he comes. There’s no rush, that right man will come when he’s suppose to. You don’t have to go looking for him because he will find you.
Photos Provided By: https://www.facebook.com/certifiedFckboy/, https://pollygolightly.com/2016/05/02/10-ways-to-spot-a-fuckboy-in-his-natural-habitat/https://pollygolightly.com/2016/05/02/10-ways-to-spot-a-fuckboy-in-his-natural-habitat/, http://sextingandthecity.com/blog/how-to-spot-a-fuckboy