There was a little something on my mind……
Why do we allow ourselves’ to endure so much pain?
I’m sure most of us know life would be so much more fulfilling if we avoided the unnecessary drama. But I believe what has us coming back; being that glutton for punishment is an emotional attachment.
If you never thought about it, I encourage you to. There are people who are in relationships or deal with people because they have some type of emotional attachment, and that is the only reason why. You know what I mean? The ones that you stay with because you love them or just don’t want to start over because you believe it’s less of a headache or heartache to keep them.
I understand that you don’t want to waste time looking for someone else. Often times, that’s exactly what you should be doing. Take the time to get to know yourself. Once you get to know you, you’ll learn what you like and what you just will not put up with. As we know, the average person is going to do what ever they believe they can get away with. Not saying it’s right, that’s just the way it is.
So if you’re a person who’s in a relationship with someone who keeps doing things that hurts you or you wouldn’t dare deal with if it was someone else. It’s time to say, “Bye, bye”.
Sometimes things work if your other half loves you enough, but many times it doesn’t. So you have to be prepared to be just fine on your own, if they can’t get it together.
For those who are still living in La La Land and think, “If I love the person enough, they’ll change for me, because they love me.” Let me tell you a story.
Sandra was 16 when she met who she thought was the love of her life, a guy by the name Evan. He was 2 years her senior. Everything about him was wrong. At the time she didn’t know it because like most teenagers, she was young, dumb, and in love.
For the first few months it was heaven. He would do things like, call her every morning to hear her voice or stop by to make sure she was okay. Then one day, things changed. He stopped calling her, stopped coming around and stopped doing a lot of other little things he use to. She started to believe she did something wrong. So instead of blaming him for the change, she blamed herself.
She hadn’t done anything different. But she figured it had to be her fault because he had never acted that way. So in attempts to get their relationship back on track, she did what ever she could to make it up to him. Meanwhile, Evan knew Sandra had not done anything to warrant that treatment. For him it was more of a test to see how much Sandra would put up with because of her love for him.
A year and a half later she was still trying to get in his good graces. It never dawned on her that it was never going to be like it was before. She still had hope things would get better. Even after two black eyes, five busted lips, two broken legs, and constant bruises; she believed he was just having a bad year.
Needless to say, things continued to get worse. Time after time he would count on her to rescue him from child support claims from other women (he dealt with while they were together) and countless other things women do for their men because of their love for them. But the real question was, “Who was going to save her?”
Now she was 18 and pregnant. On the surface she seemed happy, but deep down she was afraid. Not for herself, but for her child. This was the first time she was able to see clearly.
Sandra wasn’t sure what had changed. She didn’t know if it was experience, being feed up, being pregnant or it was a combination of all three. But something had to change. So one night, she waited for Evan to fall asleep and snuck her pregnant self out of their one bed room apartment and took nothing but the clothes on her back, left and never looked back.
This is something that happened to someone very close to me. I wish she didn’t have to go through that. But like they say, “You live and you learn”.
I’m sure this story is relatable to a lot of you because you have gone through something like this before or you know someone who has. Also, just because he or she aren’t hitting you, doesn’t mean they are good people.
Think of it like this; If it’s something they wouldn’t tolerate from you, you shouldn’t tolerate it from them. I don’t care what it is; emotional, physical, mental, or verbal. None of these things should be tolerated.
For those of you who don’t know, cheating is apart of emotional abuse. So leave before it gets to that point.
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Photos Provided By: https://upliftconnect.com/how-to-rebuild-yourself-after-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/, https://www.enkirelations.com/emotionally-abusive-relationship-stories.html, https://student.unsw.edu.au/notices/2017/01/signs-abusive-relationship