Loyalty is something not a lot of people know about these days. So many people seem to have an attitude that surrounds themselves. Many times it’s like f*** you, if you can’t give me what I want. I’m sure everyone isn’t like this. But most of the people I run into, aside from my family and a few friends are this way. I’ve realized that you can show people nothing but love and loyalty and they will still give you their a** to kiss; sometimes literally.
I’m not going to act like every person in my life is like that. If I did, that just wouldn’t be true. But for those people out there who take advantage of someone because they are loyal, empathetic, trustworthy, and trusting; How are you able to look yourself in the mirror everyday? I really want to know. It seems the older I get the less I can find someone I can really trust. At times I’m so thankful to have the type of family I do, the mother I have, and the man I’m with; because these are all people that I can trust with my life. I know these people don’t want to see anything, but me succeed.
The sad part is, I had to go through friendships and relationships where people were only befriending me to get something out of it. When you have been through times where you’re dating someone and they’re blatantly using you for money, sex, and to fill the days of their boredom or friends who say their your friend but when you need them they’re no where in sight, but are their as soon as you’re able to give them something. it makes you realize that you’re only a filler to them; someone to call when they’re bored and who is easy to manipulate. They don’t really care about you, only what you can do for them. What really hurts is not realizing it until you get older and the damage is done.
Many times I meet people and they’re often times taken aback by how honest, caring, and compassion I am. I have a tendency to treat everyone like they matter, because to me they do. Where as other people feel, ‘I respect you if you respect me.’ I’ve tried to be that type of person, but that just isn’t me. I know many times I wear my heart on my sleeve; and I’ve come to appreciate that’s just the way I am. Also I can be a little to truthful; that’s how I lost my job, being honest. When you’re growing up, you’re told honesty is the best policy, but later on find out that is many times furthest from the truth.
I apologize for this not being an uplifting post. I really just wanted to write down how I feel.