As always, hope you’re doing well.
Something great happened to me yesterday!…. I spoke to my Dad!
For so long I thought I was okay with him not being in my life. When I spoke to him yesterday it made me realize how much I was hurting, not having him there. Emotions came out I didn’t even know I felt!
I tried to not make it a big deal when we were talking, but it was…. “A BIG DEAL!” I became filled with even more emotion when he said, “I love you”. I don’t really understand my feelings right now; but I’m happy that moment in time took place.
For so long I believed my father cared nothing about me. I thought I shut those feelings away. I realize now, you can’t cut off emotions. They are something if not dealt with can cause you to spiral out of control. In this case I never realized that the way I allowed people to treat me had everything to do with my upbringing and the fact my father wasn’t in my life. I’m not blaming him for not being there. I have no idea what kinds of things he had to face through out the years. I’m just over the moon about having the chance to get to know him and him get to know me.
I want to find out how we are similar, because anyone that knows the both of us always says how much I look like him and how much I act like him. I always thought it was crazy how you can grow up acting like someone who didn’t raise you. There have been plenty a day where my Mom tells me I act just like my Dad. Not only her my Aunt has told me that as well. The other thing I always heard was, “You must be Todd daughter. You look just like your Daddy!”
I know a lot of people who have had absentee parents in their life probably would have felt anger towards that parent. I did, years ago. Now, I’m just happy we’re getting another chance to know each other. I didn’t realize it at first, but I always wanted to get to know the other half of me. I just told myself I was okay without knowing him, because I didn’t want to be disappointed if he didn’t want to get to know me.
If you have a parent that wasn’t there for you while you were growing up, but are trying to be there for you know, give them a chance. You never know what kinds of obstacles they had to face to make their way back to you.
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As Always, Thanks for Reading!
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