Hope life is going well and all things are prosperous.
You know how you meet someone and you believe only that person can give you that feeling? Well recently I met someone that is very attractive sexually. I’m sure when I say that most people would believe I mean visually. Nope that’s not what I’m talking about. You know how sometimes some people just have that aura about them that makes them seem like the best thing since sliced bread. Well, this man had that thing.
There were a lot of things I did not like about him, but there were also a lot of things that turned me on beyond belief! As I am not in the business of bashing anyone, I am only going to list the qualities I enjoyed; which are; his strength, arrogance, and dominance. I know I could probably find that find that in any men. But there was just something about this man that made him that much more appealing. I’m sure it was because he had a no holds barred attitude. If there was something he wanted to say or wanted, he did not hesitate to go after it.
I guess you could say, that’s something that was missing in my last relationship. Supposedly love was there, but I never felt it. I fooled myself in to believing it was there. But you know how sometimes you’re bored and you go through your text messages? Well, I did this recently. I started looking over the text messages between me and my Ex and realized, he checked out a long time ago. I was the one holding on for dear life.
Friends and family keep asking me why am I still continuing to live with this man. I answer straight and say; “I’m not ready to give up my independence.” See, once this lease is over and done with, I want to know I can take care of myself with out the assistance of any one. That’s why I’ve been working on trying to build a brand. That’s also the reason I’ve been trying to busy myself with meeting other people so that my situation with him does not take me over.
I’m positive there are other women and men who have been through this. If you have please let me know if you believe I’m getting through this in the right manner or should I have left yesterday.
Does a woman have to be able to hold her own, to command the attention of man?
These days society tells us, we have to be a man’s equal, in every way. That isn’t a bad thing. Some women don’t mind working and bringing that ‘bag’ home. Then you have others who were taught, a man is suppose to take care of them. It seems these days more men want women to be the ones doing the caring. I’m not saying all men, but there’s a large amount of them who do.
I never thought I would see the day a man would be okay with a woman paying the bulk of the bills. I get sometimes you may fall on hard times, and need your wife or girlfriend to lift you up. But too many times you come across men who’s soul purpose is to find a woman or person they can use. I’ve seen countless examples of men using women, vice verse, and even in some same sex relationships. The sad thing is, men think they’re justified for using a woman, because they claim women have been doing it for ages. That may have been true; but there was always a trade off.
What many men don’t or do not want to realize is back in the day when young beautiful girls married rich older or old men, it was for power or wealth. Many times it wasn’t their choice to marry the men the were betrothed to. They did it for the well being of their family or for their country.
The truth is, women have been gifts to men for centuries; in some countries, still are. I get that some men have learned to do this because they had a woman break their heart, however long ago. But you gotta learn to shack it off and keep trying until you get it right.
One thing I love about being a woman, is our resilience. Many of us go through heartbreak after heartbreak, and still find a way to love, every time. Men on the other hand, are not so forgiving. Most men are only going to allow their heart to be broken once or twice, before they go through a “HOE faze”. Then usually, once they’ve gotten it out of their system and find the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with; they’ll love again, it won’t ever be like that first time, though.
Why have women given their power away?
Many women don’t even know; being a woman is a very powerful thing. I think it’s because a lot women aren’t taught their value. So when these f***boys come around, we believe everything they say. The reason that is, a lot of times because we haven’t had a male figure around to help raise us. Everything relating to men, you always had to ask your mom, friends or go out and get a man; so you could find out for yourself.
As a result, you end up being a lot more confused then you initially were. To top it all off, your heart gets broken and then you continue to repeat the cycle until you “wake up”.
The problem isn’t only that; it’s also always having in the back of your mind, if you don’t do everything he askes, he’s going to find someone else who will. The truth is, if he wants to find someone else; he’s going to find someone else.
I hate, when people say “If you don’t do it another person will”. It’s sad, but that is what people say when they want their way and you refuse to give it to them. This seems to especially apply to men. It’s gotten so bad, women are telling other women “What you won’t do another woman will”.
I thought as women, we are suppose to have each others backs; or am I trippin?
If you didn’t know, now you know. That’s how we’ve lost our power; because to many of us don’t have morals. We don’t make them work for it anymore. The bar is set so low, when it comes to what well except and tolerate. This is the time to change that; especially if you’re giving him that “good good”!
You’re the prize, not him!
Inconclusion, a woman does not have to be a man’s equal on all level; no matter what society tells us. It’s all about what you and he are looking to gain from the relationship. Also, relationships aren’t a one size fit all. Sometimes you’re going to have a man who doesn’t want his wife to work, she might want to; there’s nothing wrong with that. It just means they’re not a match or they may be able to compromise and find a solution.
The key is to find someone that is your equal mentally. Once that connection is built, everything else falls in place.