I’m sure this day is turning out to be the blessing that it is, for you. The only thing you have to do is believe it and know it is going to be a great day because you woke up this morning. I’m sure you probably hear that a lot, because I know I do; but it’s true. Simple things like waking up aren’t promised to us. So we need to learn to slow down and appreciate the little things.
With that being said, I had a session with my therapist; as I tend to do these days. We ended up speaking about the Covid-19 vaccine. Mainly because there have been plenty people around me who’ve gotten the shot. The only reason I haven’t gotten it is because I have the tendency to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist. But after having a factual conversation about it I’m really considering getting the shot. Considering; doesn’t mean I am, just considering it.
On another note regarding health. I had No clue vitamin D was so important to peoples over all health. From what I’ve read, we get most of our vitamin D from the Sun. Then there are other sources such as; food, UV lamps, or a supplement.
Truth be told your diet is one of the main deciding factors as to how much vitamin D your body can absorb; the other is your level of activity. Remember you need movement for the natural flow of things. You don’t move- things start to settle. The longer you are inactive, the harder it becomes to move and have your body’s natural flow take place.
It’s sad that I’m just now understanding health and the way it works. There’re things I should have been raised knowing. But to be honest health was the last thing anyone from my neck of the woods was worried about. Life was more about surviving and having the chance to better your life once you got old enough to make your own decisions.
So now that I am a grown woman, I just feel like I’m playing catch up. At times it feels like I’m fumbling through life with the lights off. Hoping to find my way (eventually).
Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who feels like this? I need to know I’m not the only one in my late 30’s still trying to figure this thing out.
Question: Has the female male dynamic changed much since the 2000s?
There has been much going on between the woman and man since the beginning of time. First the men were the providers and protectors and the women were the nurturers and the ones you went to for reason. They were also the ones who kept the house in order along with other duties. In this day and age that has changed. As most of us know times have advanced, and as a result, so has the role of the woman. I’m sure this isn’t true across the board, but everyday we’re making strides for women every where to have the same rights as any man.
With that being said, there are some things I see a lot of women going through because we are the bearers and carriers of the seed. Because of this we are many times the one who takes responsibility when our other half does not want too. This is something I’ve spoken about before and just can’t shake loose. I’m sure this has a lot to do with growing up in a single parent household; my mother being the backbone of our family, emotionally and financially.
She like many other woman who’ve become mothers at ages as young as 12, 16 or sometimes younger, have had to put themselves to the side to make a way for the little person they have growing inside them. That’s if they’re willing to take on the responsibility.
I ask a simple question that deserves an answer.
Why is society the way it is? How did we get to this point? I understand in love or because of a woman’s nature she will fall victim to deception. That may have a lot to do with men being the decision makers.
I wish we all could be open minded and truly hear what our fellow (wo)man has to say. Regardless of gender, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any other factor I’ve failed to mention. I feel once we’re able to move beyond that we’ll all become better versions of ourselves.
If this is or has been a concern of yours, I would love to hear your thoughts
There are thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind for years. First one:
“Am I capable of making it on my own?”
This is and has been a huge concern of mine my whole adult life. I believe it’s something I constantly think about because I’ve never lived alone in all my 38 years on this earth.
The other thing that makes me question whether I have what it takes to make it is my procrastination. It’s baaaad! Really bad. There have been countless times that there’s something I have to do, but don’t because I continuously push that thing further and further back until I never do it. That’s the main reason when things are do I go in to a panic mode; because I never do things ahead of time. If I did, it would save me the unnecessary stress.
The other things I think of often are “Will I ever make it being my own boss” and the other is “Will I be alone forever?” For as far back as I can remember I’ve wanted to be my own boss. The thing that constantly sets me back is constantly trying and starting NEW things. I ‘ve realized I do this because I’m trying to find a way to make it out of a 9 to 5. Really doesn’t matter what 9 to 5 it is, I don’t want any of those! I really just want to pour in to something and in return that thing reward me and pour back into me.
Then with the thought of possibly being alone for the rest of my life… that is something I’m kind of looking forward to at the time. I’m just not sure how I’m gonna feel about that in the long-term. One thing’s for certain though, many men feel like women and many women are acting like men. It’s almost like we’ve switched roles. Just for clarification, I’m not speaking of every man. I’m only speaking of those that believe a woman is equal to a man in worth in every single way. Also those women and men who don’t recognize how important the union between a man and a woman is.
The problems I see arise these days when women and men enter into a relationship together, many times the man is putting out feminine energy and the woman is putting out masculine energy. In my opinion this seems to happen when boys get babied and girls get raised.
If you feel that isn’t a true statement, please make sure to leave a comment and it will be a topic on the podcast.
I hope everyone is being careful and spending time with those they love.
Let me start by saying, “I love therapy!” I’ve always known I needed it. But to finally get it is a high like no other. There are things that have happened through my life I couldn’t make sense of or just needed some help working through. With therapy I feel that little girl in me coming alive. I’m still not exactly sure if I’m completely happy about that. One thing I am happy about is, getting to understand myself a lot better, being able to understand my behaviors and why I feel what I feel in certain situations.
I had not realized until yesterday that I’ve been in some really uncomfortable and toxic situations. All this time I thought the things I went through were normal. Mainly because all I really know is toxicity; when it comes to male female relationships. So in my adult life that is what I expected and deep down accepted.
Through this process I’ve been made aware struggle love isn’t necessary. I am capable of being in a relationship that serves me and not the other way around. I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but I’m writing about it again because I feel I understand it a little better.
We go through struggle love because it’s all we know. This is why a lot of unhealthy decisions are made; because whether we realize it or not, we’re making the same choices our parents made. It didn’t work for them and most likely it won’t work for us. But we continue to go around and around in a circle, until we receive help to learn there is a better way to go about life.
Codependency is a silent killer, and if you continue to put others before yourself you will always get the same result time and time again.
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I’ve been thinking about this week for a long time. This week is Spring Break for Palm Beach County. And since I work with a school, it is also spring break for me! Meaning that I do not have to report to work for a full week! That alone is cause to celebrate. But what put the icing on the cake was my family coming down.
This was such a big thing because there is a part of our family that I haven’t seen in years (that’s partly my fault). I have to say though that I had a great time spending time with my cousins and just getting that complete feeling again. I really hadn’t noticed how much it affected me not to have them here.
I understand that not having them here is something I’m gonna have to get over. I will in do time. But the real thing I had to take in to account is my lack of change. I realized over the years there has been much that has changed with them, but I’ve stayed the same. Not in away saying that is a bad thing because it isn’t. It just makes me take a closer look at myself and helps me to realize; time waits for NO man. Meaning, it’s time for me to put fear to the side and start living freely and with out the worry of judgement.
Have you ever just had those close family members that you admire because they’re able to go through many situations without fear or they have fear but they find a way to make that fear none existent? Those are the qualities I’m working to build within myself. Honestly it was just inspiring to watch how fearless my family is. If they want something they go for it.
The other thing is, they all are fighters. I’m not speaking in the physically form per say, but they’ll fight if they had too. I’m really speaking of spiritually. They will go toe to toe for their family. That’s why I love my people. But there is still work we need to do. As I’m sure everyone’s family has something they need to work on.
Inconclusion, I can’t wait until we get together again.
Working toward something just to get put off and start working on something else. There had been times when I was told what I wanted to do in life was not obtainable. I understood where these people were coming from, but this was my dream and there was NO way I was going to let someone tell me that I can’t get out of this life what I truly want.
For a long time I let what people told me dictate my actions. In many ways I’m still allowing peoples opinions to dictate my actions. Worrying how they would feel if I didn’t follow their advice. But it’s time for things to change and my life to take a new direction. Living for people has gotten me nothing but disappointment and a life that I’m unhappy with.
Let me be brutally honest; I followed what others told me to do because I was too afraid to listen to my own thoughts and what God had to tell me. Over the years there has been so much that he has given to me and I have done nothing with. There have been whole novels that he’s given to me in my sleep. Ideas I’ve been too afraid to act on, because it required me to be a lot more extroverted than I am initially.
Over the years there have been so many things I’ve tried. Money I’ve paid. All because I did not want to work for anyone; and that is still true today. Everyday I have thoughts on what I could do to become my own boss. As I’m sure you see there isn’t anything that has panned out as of yet. I’m sure that is do to my short tension span.
The one thing I know I would love to do for the rest of my life is write. But if I’m honest I know that I won’t be able to half ass writing. It’s not that it’s hard to get paid for it, it’s more of being a writer that stands out of the crowd. When you’re able to do that you have a better chance of better pay, more opportunities and recognition.
The only thing I’ve constantly have been working toward this whole time is getting paid for what I love to do. I’m going to continue to work at it. I’ll be trying to figure it out until I die, because I know that is what I was put here to do.
If there is anything you feel nagging at you, you haven’t done because you’re afraid of what people will say; go ahead and do that thing. It’s going to keep bothering you until you do it.
There’s something I’ve been doing for years that I’ve become really good at. That thing is being other people’s right hand. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong there are benefits to making someone else look good; sometime physical and sometimes emotional.
There are those of us that have become so good at this, we tend to do it seamlessly. Many times because we enjoy giving to others. For a time I enjoyed doing this. This was do to always needing approval from my peers and employers. But as of now that is not the current head space I’m in.
Sometimes the people you’re building up only look at you as your job title and nothing more. Then you have others that are able to see you for who you are. That type of relationship can become great, because the person who’s getting the help realizes how imperative it is to have you on their team. Then there are others who act as if they appreciate you. Then you find them doing or saying something that shows they see you as beneath them. This typically occurs when that person has more financially stability than the person who’s helping them.
This is a concept that I’m all too familiar with. That being said; I would love to blame that person for their actions, but it isn’t their fault. It’s mine for allowing that type of treatment. If you don’t know or if it slipped your mind, “People only treat you the way you allow them to.”
Inconclusion, helping others feels good, but only when it’s appreciated, not expected.
If you’ve experienced working in situations such as this, leave a comment on how you dealt with it or if you dealt with it.
I’m sure many of you understand where I’m coming from. I heard this time and time again, but never really thought about it, until last night.
Lately I’ve been watching and listening to inspirational podcasts and shows. The even better thing about this is; the people I’ve been listening too look just like me. The reason this is important is because it helps me to know that there are NO road blocks in my way, only the ones I choose to create.
I’ve come to understand the reason I’m not living a life I desire and love is due to not putting in the work necessary to live a life of happiness. Many of us hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. How can you expect to be wealthy or living the type of life you dream of, if you’re not doing anything to work towards that dream.
Many of us day in and day out only do what is expected of us, because we’re in fear of standing out amongst the crowd and falling on our face. We find ourselves continuously going to a job we loathe because we live in fear of what might happen if we STOP!
I have allowed peoples expectations of me to dictate my moves all my life. This is something I’ve needed to work on for a very long time. I’m choosing to make a step to change my mindset, so that the concern others have over my life does not effect me decisions.
I’m sure you’re like, “Shadrieka you always say that!” It’s true. I have said that in the past, but this time I made a sold move by making an appointment to see a therapist. I’m hoping we’re a good fit and she can help me with my issues. You know, take away the fear of the constant changes you have to go through in order to evolve?
If peoples opinions and your negative self talk is keeping you in a negative mindset, to were you never act on the things you feel, maybe it’s time to make a drastic change. Because the life you desire is one you can have. It’s you who has to take that step to make it pssible.
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Hope your days have been going well. There is so much I want to say. Let me see if I can get my thoughts organized…… SIKE!!! I’m sure if you’ve been a reader of my blog for a while, you know that my thoughts and feelings are everywhere. Many times I just like to give an update about what’s going on in my life. And if there happens to be some kind of lesson or something you can relate to, that is a great thing for me. Because All I really want to do is relate to you all. Let you know that you are not alone in the things you may experience or how you feel.
Thinking you’re the only one who feels or goes through the things you do, is something I experienced for a long time. I truly believe it got to me a little more because I had a mentally and emotionally abusive step father. I like to think he had ‘No’ effect on me, but the older I get the more I realize he’s the reason I handle most people with kid gloves.
I remember being loud, fun, extroverted, and unapologetic when it came to how I interacted with people. Now I’m timid and self conscious. Many times I don’t do things for the fear that my mere appearance will cause the wrong kind of attention. So because of that, a lot of my life has passed by without me doing anything.
I understand I have time to get it right, but it’s gonna take some time. I really would love to get back to being that care-free extrovert I was once upon a time.
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