Short stories

When Will it End?

Disclaimer: Today’s topic I understand can be a little sensitive. So if you’re easily offended or the discussion of race offends you, you may want to leave now.

Good Morning Everyone,

 

I know the last week hasn’t been a pleasant one. There has been so much going on in the news with the George Floyd Killing. I didn’t watch the video. For someone like me who is very sensitive to others feelings and trauma; I physically couldn’t watch it.

When is it gonna STOP?! The killing for no reason, the harassing, bulling, taunting, lying.  I never understood why some won’t just let us live harmoniously in sync with one another.

To be honest I don’t think it will ever change. I’m glad that things aren’t as bad as they once were; but there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. Theses men, women and children out here are loosing their lives’! The sad thing is; people only mourn them for a couple of days to a couple of weeks, then they’re forgotten. At least until there is another black man, woman, or child killed again for some stupid idiotic reason!

Many Black people say: “Why do we need White allies?”. We need allies from all ethnic groups, but we particularly need ones who are White because they’re the ones with universal respect. With there acknowledgement of prejudices happening against those of other ethnic backgrounds it could light a fire under those who feel our lives have no value.

There’s so much to say, but I fear the words escape me at the moment. So I’m just gonna tell you how I feel when going into ‘White spaces’. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a person who loves people, but love my people more. I believe everything about us is beautiful; from our many times coily hair, to the magical melanin in our skin, that can make us dark as night. I can go on and on about what I love about being Black.

Apologies are cold comfort in yogurt-shop racial profiling | The ...But with all the positives come negatives; the constant fear of being pulled over, or the uneasiness of having someone follow you around the store, believing you’re going to steal because of your skin color. These are things White people don’t have to worry about. There’s a s*** load more of things Whites don’t ever have to contemplate; all because they’re the “Right” color. Loosing their life because someone felt threatened by their tone.

The more the reality hits me of how unequal we are, the more it saddens me that the only thing that make me different is my color. It saddens me because there are a lot of people out here who while kill a Black person before they would ever think of harming an animal. Many times I’ve seen how others are so quick to standup for Animal Rights, but when it comes to Black People it’s like saying, ‘F*** YOU! You should be happy that I’m even letting you breathe right now! 

I just wonder if those bigoted Whites were to get treated as they treat us, how would they feel to loose a loved one because the officer felt “threatened”? What if they had to prepare they’re children to be extra nice and polite, all because they wanted to make sure they came home alive. Or they lost someone of their ethnicity every month; how would they feel? What if they didn’t have the privilege of doing whatever and saying whatever to whom ever?  Just a question, that deserves an answer. 

 I’ve already made this too long, so I’ll stop here.

My Father Could Have Been Killed By Police – STIR Journal
The heartbreaking thing is; this isn’t all the men, women, and children lost during a police encounter.

Photos Provided By: http://www.stirjournal.com/2016/04/22/my-father-could-have-been-killed-by-police/, https://youtu.be/SASUEbuCnzA

As Always

empowering · Informative · motivational · Race · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

Everybody Needs Love

This may be a little off topic, but I was thinking of how everyone has an opinion about black women, especially the black men that share the same melanin with us. There are so many men out here who feel dating a black woman is a last resort. I have a couple of questions for you:

  • Why is dating a woman who shares something so intimate as your struggle unappealing?
  • Did you not love your mother?
  • Do you secretly believe you’re unlovable and unattractive? Is that why you don’t find women that share physical and emotional qualities with you attractive?
  • Are black women deemed unattractive because we remind you of the real problems you’re trying to run away from when you date, marry, love, or impregnate someone of a lighter complexion?
  • Or could it be what others believe; constant manipulation over the years has turned us against each other?

I understand some men just prefer a woman that looks least like them; sometime for no particular reason. But the men that say they want to marry outside of their race because they want children with loose curly hair, light complexion, green or blue eyes; or because they have this notion that all black women are ghetto and have little to no etiquette or those who feel black women represent the struggle in every since of the word.  I just wanna say that every black woman is not the same. There are so many men out there whether they be Black, White Spanish, Indian, Chinese, they will not date certain women because of what they heard about them. Many times it’s not because of things they experienced, it’s merely based off of something someone else said, or one bad run in with a woman of a race different than their own. How is it possible to judge a entire race on one encounter with someone who doesn’t share your ethnicity, culture, religion, or sex? What people need to start realizing is that everyone is an individual, not every white person is going to act the same, just like not every Chinese person is going to act the same. Everyone has free will, that means we all have the right to choose how we are going to live this life and who we’re going to spend it with.

I remember years ago a family member asked me why I liked dating a specific culture. She made it seem like there was something wrong with the type of man that I chose to date, and because of that I tried dating different types of men, but something about me and them just did not mix. So I went back to dating the type of man I felt comfortable with, and I have to say; 4 years lately I do not regret my decision. I say that to only prove that you are the only one who knows what your heart needs, if it’s someone that doesn’t share the same culture, skin, ethnicity, or whatever; so be it. You love who you love, but not loving women of your race because being with them reminds you of hard times, is a cop out. Love who you love, but let the love be real and authentic. So many people these days only marry and have children because they want something from the other person. I believe the only time to get married is when you have her back and you know she has yours, and there’s love and understanding there; the same goes for when you have children.

I also would like to add, don’t deny the chance to get to know or date someone because they’re not what you would typically go for.  You never know they could be exactly what you need.

Informative · Race · Thoughts

What is the Right Hair Type?

This post may include affiliate links. See disclaimer for more information.

 

Why do some people believe they have the right to talk about something on someone else’s body? I don’t care what it is. In this case it is black women’s hair. I came across a video of a video picking apart the person who said the harsh things about black women’s hair. I know we are suppose to have freedom of speech. But, how are you going to talk about something you don’t have, let alone understand?! So you couldn’t possibly understand the struggle the people who own this type of hair, face. This person used descriptions such as dirty, smelly, ratty, and plenty of other unflattering words to describe an average black woman’s hair. But when it comes to describing someone of his race’s hair he had plenty of positive things to say.

There was a point in the video he presented a woman with braids. He started laying into her. Saying “Her hair must stink, because there’s no way she’s able to wash her hair daily, with that type of style.” I’m not going to lie, that made my blood boil. I just wanted to scream. See, the problem with people who don’t hang around or know people of other races is, they are left with their own thoughts about those outside of their race, and most times because their left with their thoughts, they believe their thoughts are right. Although not washing your hair two to three or more times a week can be seen as dirty to someone with a straighter hair type, such as a 1a to a 3b. It’s not viewed as so to those with 3c to 4c hair types. Reason being, we understand what our hair needs.

For someone with a frizzier hair texture such as a 4c, washing the hair daily promotes breakage. As we know, curly hair is the hair type most prone to breakage. We wear our hair in braids, twists, and various other styles to preserve it. I get you may not understand that, if you’re someone who doesn’t have naturally tight curly or kinky hair. All I’m saying is to keep your opinions to yourself, if you don’t know what you’re talking about. But if you’re willing to learn or want to learn more about kinkier or curlier textures, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Just make sure you’re asking in a respectful manner.

Also, black women are told daily what is deemed acceptable and what isn’t, most times by those who don’t look like them. I don’t think our hair should be one of those things. As long as it is neatly maintained, there is nothing else to say. People always want to give an opinion where it isn’t warranted. If you haven’t struggled to get a comb through your hair or struggled to do your hair because it’s so curly the strands wrap around each other, causing what some may consider naps. You have nothing to say to me or to the women that occupy this type of hair.

Further more, why should I have to make myself uncomfortable to maintain a high paying job? Yes, hair plays a really big part when it comes to getting a good job for women with darker skin and tightly curled hair. So much so, it is suggested that these women either where wigs or get their hair altered chemically, which is permanently straightened until the hair is cut off or putting heat to the hair to straighten it. Both are capable of causing irreparable damage, one more so than the other.

My question to you is…..

                            “Why must a person change to be deemed acceptable?” 

 

Below is a video of black women wearing various protective styles. F.Y.I this is done to preserve the hair to promote growth. Also down below is a list of hair products that have proved to work on textures ranging from 3c to 4c.

 

 

List of hair products that I’ve used, and some I haven’t

Denman Brush

Castor Oil  (Works for some hair types. Can be a little heavy for low porosity hair)

Shea Moisture’s Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Masque

Scalp Massager (I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard great things about it. It’s purpose is to stimulate hair growth.) 

As I am- Double Butter Moisturizer (Anything from the original line works wonders!)

TGIN (This is another one that I have yet to try, but comes highly recommended)

Thanks For Reading!!

 

Photos Provided By: https://bglh-marketplace.com/2012/07/6-styling-tools-every-natural-should-have/https://twelveminutemuse.com/short-natural-hairstyles-for-black-women2015/short-natural-hairstyles-for-black-women2015-awesome-bigy-curly-nappy-fro-hair-and-beauty-pinterest/https://www.pinterest.com/pin/565553665701320579/?lp=truehttps://www.styleinterest.com/protective-hairstyles/https://www.pinterest.com/pin/404338872789818772/?lp=truehttp://www.deluxe-china.com/protective-hairstyles-braids/protective-hairstyles-braids-50-protective-hairstyles-for-natural-hair-hair-motive-hair-motive-medium-hairstyles-for-men/https://www.refinery29.com/natural-hair-protective-hairstyles-tutorials,https://therighthairstyles.com/30-best-natural-hairstyles-for-african-american-women/https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/369295238186885216/?lp=true

  

story telling

Black women

  I’m not going to stop speaking about things like this until I start to see a change. I’m so tired of seeing other races feeling free to put their hands on black women. 

The sad truth is that the black woman is the least protected out of everyone. We constantly get disrespected and when it happens we have to deal with people saying that we probably deserved it because the parties involved feel we said something out of the way or they may even blame it on the way that we may have dressed when we came to that facility. No matter what reasoning people try to give; there is never any reason for a man to put his hands on a woman, especially if she never laid a hand on him. I just wonder if those women happened to be a different ethnicity would that have happened? Some say yeah it didnt matter that they were black women.

 I believe that it did. Let me rewind and tell you the situation. Well there were two women of color in a fast food restaurant in Texas I’m guessing waiting on there food and while they waited they exchanged a couple of choice words with the employees. This resulted in one of the employees coming around the counter to try and physically remove them from the facility. Needless to say that was the wrong move on his part.

  This isnt the only time that I’ve seen black women being attacked while in a facility with intent to buy. It seems as if this is becoming the norm. This is my third time seeing something like this in a month. That is a little ridiculous. Don’t you think??!!!

 It makes me sad and stressed to know that black people have to fight so hard just to be seen as non-violent and in a sense equal. But I know for a fact things won’t improve unless we play key roles in our own development as a people. We have to start finding value in ourselves before someone looking in ever can. It has to be known that we are our own support system. I remember growing up in a time that people greeted you when they passed you or upon seeing you (no matter if they knew you or not) they exchanged kind words. This in turn made your day more pleasant, and everyone wasn’t so concerned about self, self, self. We gave respect to our elders, because we were taught things like this. There was way more self control. I miss those times. There was a kind of warmness and sense of protection of knowing that people took the time to speak and stand up for what’s right, and over time get to know you. People now dont even try to engage in conversation with you unless you have something they want (for the most part).  Working with the public you see a lot of different personalities. Truth be told many people that shop dont even remember the person that helped them, whether it be getting something down off of a self or ringing them up “that is so sad”. That in my opinion shows that this society has become to indulged in themselves’. That’s one major reason why we have so many killings, suicides, rape, and the plenty of other things that we have wrong. We have lost that sense of “connecting”. I think connecting with people outside of your circle helps to teach adversity and also helps those that go through things like depression find reasons to keep living. You never know, you may be saving someone’s life just by letting them in to yours.