Question of the day: Why is it necessary to give your all?
That question comes to mind because as far back as I can remember every woman around me has always been expected to give their all to the man they’re with. Why?
Many times these men don’t seem to do nearly as much or give as much as the woman they’re with. It’s like you keep giving and giving until you have nothing left for yourself. Now a days they say; “Take care of you before you think of taking care of someone else.” I’m happy that’s something that’s stressed now, because it wasnt back then.
When I was growing up; hell even now women are taught to cater to their man or another woman will. I mean really what kind of s*** is that?! So you’re telling me if there’s some nasty perverted thing he wants to do and I don’t, he has the right to cheat on me?…. I think not!
If you’re with a man that thinks like that it’s time for you to throw away the whole man Honey. What’s the use of trying to make it work? Clearly if you feel differently than he does about the situation; his view on it is never gonna change…. unless he loves you and is willing to do without.
But to all my women making it who realize they’re the prize, keep doing you. The right man in time will find you. Just keep your head up and never settle for less.
Well as I’m sure you know I always bring something from my personal life to any blog I’m writing. Well today is no different. Today’s blog is how I’m living with an asshole and didn’t even know it.
I’m sure if you’ve read any of my blogs before, you know of the individual I’m speaking of. He never fails to surprise me with the level of pettiness he possess’.
Well, recently I rented a car because I needed to get back and forth to work. The car I rented was a 2020 Toyota Camry. To be honest it wasn’t even my first choice, but I was so happy to get it. The thing I was most concerned about is it’s reliability. I was so happy I didn’t have to worry about it overheating, or anything!! I was so thankful to have that car for a full week!
My reason for renting the car in the first place was do to having car problems. Now that I’ve experienced how good that car rides, I know I’m going to have to work harder at my side hustles to get what I want. After you’ve had a taste of something better it’s hard to go back to something any less.
Well.. let me get to the reason I’m writing this blog. My EX I currently live with saw that I was driving a different car. So he took it upon himself to get the same car I rented. It’s not the 2020 but it’s a newer car than he had before. The car he had before was a 2004. I’m not sure if it’s a rental or he actually bought the car. But I thought that was really messed up he would do something like that!
When we started dating I had no idea that we would ended up here. The face he showed me when we started dating apposed to the one he’s showing now seem to be two completely different people. But there’s nothing I can do but go through it and grow from it. One thing for sure, I won’t be getting tangled up in any more relationships, until I find out who I am first.
I decided that I was not going to do anything, but grind until I get to the level of success I want. So many times we let people and material items drive our actions. I’m choosing not to fall in that trap. Even though I might not have everything I need and want, I have the ability to get it. As long as there is breathe in my body and ambition in my heart, I know nothing can stop me.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself that they may have won this round, but what they do has nothing to do with you anymore. So, when you have someone that is showing of what they have to get a reaction out of you; it reflects how they feel about their self. Know that they’re only doing that because they have yet to discover what’s really important; and it doesn’t consist of material items.
Question:Do you believe I’m reading to much into this? If not why not?
What would you have done if you’re Ex did something like this?
As I said in the video, there are so many young girls who want a boyfriend so bad, they’ll put their selves through torture just to say they have someone. That is a very bad practice to have. The only validation need is self validation. Once you really begin to appreciate yourself and everything that comes with being you, you start to realize how truly special you are.
Side Note: I know…. I don’t say things that are going to shock you and make you want to listen to me further. The reason for that is, I’ve never been someone who needed to hurt your feelings or trick you in to taking my advice. It’s either you do or you don’t. But I hope you do, because there is a better life out there waiting for you, once you realize how much you deserve it.
For those of you who continuously check in, I am so grateful to you. Without you this site would be nothing. Also I know consistency is key. I’m really trying to work on that. But there’s something I need you to do for me; drop me a line, stating what kinds of things you would like to see on this blog. I understand I’m the administer, but this blog will not grow with out your input. So please, comment away. Also if you enjoyed the video above, make sure to like and subscribe, because I’ll be posting much more frequently on my YouTube page.
Have you ever experienced a point in life where you felt stuck?
I’ve been feeling like this ever since February 20th, 2019 (the day I lost my job of 15yrs). Truthfully, it’s been longer than that. I thought it was going to be something easy to get over, but it hasn’t been. I have a job now, I’m grateful for it. The only problem is I know I could have been doing so much better if I would have followed my own drum instead of the beat of someone else’s.
When I think about it, I realize most of the choices I made in life have been what other people wanted for me. There aren’t that many things that I’ve decided on in my own. I guess I’m scared of being the one to blame when things don’t go well. I’ve realized in life you’re always going to have choices. I should be looking at it as a good thing, because it means life always has an opportunity to change for the better.
You see, so many times we go through things and concentrate on the negativity of the change or the lose, instead of focusing on how the change is going to benefit us or the people around us. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Slowly but surely I’ve observed how this change was good for me. For one, I’m way more focused on what I want. I’ve been able to post more regularly, I’ve published a book, spoken at an open mic night, soon will be starting a podcast, started a YouTube channel, and in a couple weeks I’ll be going back to college. I have to say God blessed me when he removed me from that place. At the time I didn’t see it. But little by little I can see his plan unfolding and I’m so grateful for this opportunity to live life again.
I know you all my not understand the emotion behind my words and feelings. But just to let you know where I’m coming from; I use to be someone who had no direction! I had a dog of a boyfriend from 19 to 28 he treated me like I was less than dirt on the bottom of a shoe. He constantly lied, cheated, stole from me, put me down in always imaginable, and disappeared sometimes for months at a time. Then to couple that with a step-father who insulted me, demeaned me any chance he got, and cheated on my mother constantly. That isn’t even the half of it. To be honest I could write a whole novel on my negative interactions with men including my sperm donor. I just don’t feel the need to, not yet anyway.
I have to say I’m grateful, even though sometimes I can’t tell if things are improving. One thing I know; they’re not staying the same.
So if you’re like me and life has brought you 180 you need to continue on that path and know most change is for your good. Even if it seems a little or a lot uncomfortable. For the things we really want in life we are always going to have to experience some discomfort in order to appreciate it when something good comes along.
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