Getting ready trying to keep the over thinker at bay.
To remind you guys, I haven’t been at work since March. For some this may not seem like a big deal. For me though it’s the biggest hump I’m gonna have to get over; especially because my seclusion which became my normal is not gonna be a thing anymore. Reason being… school is starting in a mere week.
I know I shouldn’t over think this, but I have a tendency to over think things. Then the thing I began over thinking gives me anxiety, then it just becomes a rabbit hole filled with emotions.
To be honest I believe that’s why I loved being on my own; I didn’t feel obligated to socialize. But the deeper I dig into this empath thing I realize not wanting to socialize and be around others was my participating in the numbing process.
Had to share this with you all because this is my therapy. I’m working on correcting this behavior. I don’t want to be the weird one for ever.
Question of the day: Why is it necessary to give your all?
That question comes to mind because as far back as I can remember every woman around me has always been expected to give their all to the man they’re with. Why?
Many times these men don’t seem to do nearly as much or give as much as the woman they’re with. It’s like you keep giving and giving until you have nothing left for yourself. Now a days they say; “Take care of you before you think of taking care of someone else.” I’m happy that’s something that’s stressed now, because it wasnt back then.
When I was growing up; hell even now women are taught to cater to their man or another woman will. I mean really what kind of s*** is that?! So you’re telling me if there’s some nasty perverted thing he wants to do and I don’t, he has the right to cheat on me?…. I think not!
If you’re with a man that thinks like that it’s time for you to throw away the whole man Honey. What’s the use of trying to make it work? Clearly if you feel differently than he does about the situation; his view on it is never gonna change…. unless he loves you and is willing to do without.
But to all my women making it who realize they’re the prize, keep doing you. The right man in time will find you. Just keep your head up and never settle for less.
Have you ever spent most of your life being someone’s other half?
If so, why did you feel it was important to be linked to someone in that romantic way?
Are you still with them?
Does always being in a relationship mean you’re codependent?
If given the situation, could you walk away from an unhealthy relationship that isn’t serving you, to take the time needed to better yourself?
Does being attached to someone make you feel complete?
If you’ve answered ‘YES’ to most of these questions, most likely you are a codependent. What that means is you need the attention and affection of others to feel at ease and that you belong. For a long time I was also a codependent. It wasn’t until I got a lot older and started researching the term when I found out it was not such a good thing. One thing I’ve leaned is, it’s always better to make sure you’re covered before you take care of anyone else. Always remember people are people and that no one is perfect. So if you’re with someone you love right now; you maybe even picture yourself getting married to them. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row just incase he or she does not feel the same way.
I understand it may be a depressing thought, but it’s real, and that is what life is. You can’t be blind to the possibility of things between you and them not working out. Like my Momma always told me, “You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket”. The sad thing is a lot of people know this saying, but choose to interpret it in a disloyal way; by cheating. Not having all your eggs in one basket doesn’t have to mean that, it could also be becoming a boss about this money game. Or having strong long lasting connections with others; so you don’t lose yourself if something like a breakup was to happen.
Long story short, people are people. It’s your responsibility to either learn from the situations or let the overwhelming emotions of disappointment and hurt take over. But you would do much better learning how to use those emotions to better you. Use those negative feelings as fuel. Also, keep in mind another person can not complete you. You have to have done that for yourself. Truth be told, when you have a strong sense of who you are, what you like or don’t like, and what you would deal with or wouldn’t deal with; it makes it easier to choose someone who reflects what you feel for yourself. So if you’re broken, more than likely the man or woman you choose is going to be broken. There are very rare occasions where a broken person marries or dates someone who’s confident in who they are; but many times it doesn’t last if that broken person doesn’t find a way to mend their brokenness.
Inconclusion, our relationships are mirrors; what you see or feel about yourself always seems to show in the type of person you date.
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