empowering · Feelings · relationship · Thoughts

Infidelity V.S Rape

Good Morning!!!….. I apologize for my absence. Been enjoying my freedom a little to much.

Well todays post is going to be about two different things, that are different sides to the same coin. As you know, I’m constantly thinking. Most times I feel like I can’t turn my brain off. I’m always thinking about something. I already know why that is. If you think you know the answer, leave a comment below.

Anyway, like I was saying…. Why are certain people given a pass when it comes to cheating, and others are expected to except infidelity?

For years, men have been given the upper hand when it pertains to doing the morally right thing. They have been allowed do overs, for centuries! Women on the other hand, are expected to be loyal; and at the first encounter of infidelity, are cast to the side. Thrown away like a peace of trash.

I understand some women may deserve that type of treatment. But women who have been violated had no choice in the matter.

For starters, an astounding number of women and girls in the Democratic Republic of the Congo were raped back in 2018; 605 women, and 436 girls. There were also men and little boys who were violated; 4 men and 4 boys.

Just think about that for a minute….

Think of how these women’s and girls’ lives changed after something so horrific. Many times in countries like that, they view the woman as tainted after something like that happens. As a result, they believe the women/girls did something to make the rapist believe they had the right to do what they did.

I never understood how men can’t see how rape is a power play. It’s something men or women (yes women) do to assert their power over someone.

So think of those men who have no empathy, or understanding for something like this happening to the women they “love”.  Many men aren’t able to move past this, while some are. It won’t be easy, but it’s doable.

Some reasons men can’t get past their spouse getting violated:

  1. They see them more as something to own, and not a person with feelings.
  2. They’re more concerned with their feelings and completely out of touch with how this ordeal affected you i.e-ego.
  3. This one kind of goes with number 2. They’re concerned about what other people are going to think.

There are always going to be reasons to leave someone. Some people aren’t worth the fight. But I tell you, if you feel like that person is worth it and you know you’ll never find any one like them. You need to fight for what is yours. When love is involved, no one else’s opinion matters, but you and the person you love. Also stop allowing these men and women the chance to treat you like crap. Hold them accountable for their actions. That’s how they learn.

Final thought: If you’ve ever cheated or continue to cheat on your spouse, there is no way you shouldn’t be able to go through a traumatic experience such as rape with them. I feel if you love them, you will do anything in your power to help them work through their PTSD that is associated with the incident. But if that isn’t the case and you were only with them because it was convenient. You’ll find a way to make it about you just so you can leave.

Just some things I want you to think about.

Go crazy in the comments.

Do you believe rape is ever the victims fault?

Should a couple take a break, break-up, or stay together if rape has taken place? 

In regards to infidelity, should it ever be tolerated?

Should both women and men be held accountable equally, when it comes to infidelity? Why or Why not?

As Always….

All information provided by: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201705/loving-or-having-sex-woman-whos-been-raped, https://www.un.org/sexualviolenceinconflict/countries/democratic-republic-of-the-congo/ 

Photos Provided By: https://tableforchange.com/6-characteristics-of-an-unfaithful/, https://anchalproject.org/blogs/news/60771523-what-is-rape-culture

empowering · Feelings · motivational · story telling · Thoughts

Rape Culture


How are you all doing today?

I was thinking…..

If a woman or man goes out with out proper coverage to their private areas, are they in any way giving consent?

I only ask because some people believe women especially, are asking for it if they go out without a bra or underwear. I’m going to try to stay neutral and just give you the facts of a situation of a girl being raped on the dance floor. I’m not able to tell you if the person got convicted or if the rape actually happened. The only thing I can tell you is what I saw.

The scenario: Girl goes out for her birthday. Not sure if she went out by herself or if she was with a friend. Long story short, she ended up hanging out with this guy. All while she was in the club she was on either Facebook live or Instagram live, not sure. The point is the video shows him holding her up with his drink in his hand. While the girl is doubled over with her eyes rolled to the back of her head, body limp with little to no movement. And this man proceeds to lick his hand and stick it under her dress. Then you see him try to grind on her. But I assume he couldn’t do what he intended, either because there were to many eyes on them or her dead weight wouldn’t let him position himself the way he was attempting. I forgot to mention, she wasn’t wearing underwear.

Now I ask you as I did before; Does that constitute as consent?…. I haven’t asked a lot of people about this particular situation, but I’ve gotten comments on situations like this. And it seems every time a woman is involved, the rape is a lot of the time validated. Many times because men don’t taking themselves out of the equation; their thinking, ” What if that was me and some female lied and said I raped her, because I didn’t want to be with her?” But what they failed to realize is, if you have no intention of having sex with someone while their either unconscious, drunk, or after they’ve repeatedly told you ‘No’; most likely you’re in the clear. But I’m not gonna act like there aren’t women out her that actually cry wolf when in reality nothing was done, and that makes it bad for the women who do speak out, who have  actually been sexually assaulted. People are less likely to believe them, because of the amount of false cases of rape.

Then you have the people who watch it happen and don’t do anything about it. Like the person recording the whole thing. What made it even worse, was the fact it was a woman.

I just want you all to be safe out there. It’s okay to meet new people and socialize just make sure when you go to these clubs please, please make sure you watch your drinks. And if you go out with a friend, make sure to look out for them as you would yourself. Also you can’t trust everyone, so be on guard. That goes for men too. I’m sure they experience it but don’t come forward because they don’t want to be judged.

Remember everyone has a voice. Don’t let fear silence yours.

I love you all and……..

Photos Provided By: act.weareultraviolet.com, theodysseyonline.com