Often times we have large gifts we never manage to share with the world. Many times because we have other obligations or because we’re afraid too. Thinking that by sharing this thing with the world it leaves you vulnerable to criticism. True it does, but what if by allowing other people in, you learn you are actually good at what you do? Not only that you start to receive praise for it. Let’s take it a step further, you are able to monetize it and live doing the very thing you love.
I completely understand it won’t be easy. The real question is; Will it be worth it?
There are gonna be times when it’s gonna seem impossible to keep going; but you have too. There isn’t going to be a better feeling then doing what you love and knowing you’re getting paid for it.
I knew from young a regular 9 to 5 wasn’t for me. For 1 I don’t like to be told what to do. Also I like to be in control of what I do. My current job title doesn’t offer me any creative space. So based off of that I know it won’t be my job for much longer.
I will not allow a job to take away my creative spark. There are many things I want to do in this life and I’ve started doing a couple. The reason I haven’t been able to do those things full time is do to not being able to make a living from them as of yet.
A job is a job but a career is a lifestyle.
Please remember that.
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Hope everyone is well, and getting everything they ever asked for out of life.
Today I was thinking of how we go through life and are disappointed time and time again. But I’ve learned it’s through the disappointments we learn.
You date, go out, have a great time with that person. Then later on realize they were nothing like you initially believed them to be. There are never any problems between the two of you. He loves you and you love him. There are things you noticed, but nothing alarming.
Yeah he may be a little over protective. But as women we kind of enjoy when our men get a little jealous. So you think nothing of it. Then there are other little things that start to arise when you finally take that plunge and move in together. Things like, “I don’t see a reason why you would need to stay out longer then 4 or 5 hours.” or “You should go to the gym bae. You’ll feel so much better when you do.”
Some of these things aren’t as bad in small doses. But when this becomes his or her norm, it starts to take a toll on you as a person. You may not notice it at first. But what starts to happen is, you start to feel like the walls are closing up on you, and you have no room to move or do anything you would typically do. You’re trying to save yourself from the ear full you’re sure they’ll give you if they found out you engaged in something they didn’t approve of. You may not realize it, but that person is controlling you.
Whenever you have someone telling you what they want and they’re doing it in a way that makes you afraid they’ll leave if you say “No” that is controlling, and that isn’t the person you want to waste your energy on.
Below is a clip from Divorce Court of a couple where the man was considerably older than his fiancé. In this clip you’ll see how he maintained and demanded control through the entire relationships.
If you have ever been in a relationship such as this please leave a comment below, letting others know how you got out of it. And if you’re someone who doesn’t see anything wrong with this type of partnership, I would love to know your take on the situation.
I thought I knew you. Looking back, I realize that was a silly assumption on my part.
You see, there are people who hide who they truly are. Then later on, that monster takes over the person you thought you knew. Things you once loved slowly turn into things you can’t stand. All because that monster picked it’s ugly head out. It seems nothing makes it happier than to catch you off guard. Once that happens, it make you feel uncomfortable and seemingly unwanted.
Once that happens there’s no reason to stay, or try to work things out. Unless you want to spend your days convincing someone who isn’t even on your level to love you and choose you. I don’t know about you… but I have way more life to live. I don’t have time, nor the energy or patience to cater to someone else’s insecurities.
KNOWING WHEN TO WALK AWAY
Years ago I remember watching a YouTube video. At the time I didn’t take it too seriously because it was meant to be a joke, but in all honesty that video carried a lot of weight. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was suppose to heed that message.
The video was one warning women of what types of men to stay away from. The one closest to mine was the guy that was overly controlling and untrusting. I hadn’t realized it yet, but the longer we dated the more and more controlling and untrusting he became. In the beginning I believed it to be a sweet quality, because I never had someone care about my whereabouts & safety before; know one but my family. So naturally I basked in the attention. It wasn’t until much later I realized it was more about control than actual care.
Like they say you live and you learn. I have to say, I’ve learned plenty from this relationship. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Which is; “Never alter yourself to meet anyone else’s requirements, but your own.” It never works in the end if you do.
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It’s something so much of us crave for… We want it so badly that most of us will endure so much ill treatment just to get it. Well… that is a false notion many have; many of us believe any attention shown is a form of love, when that isn’t the case. I know women and men now, who believe because their significant others coming home every night means they love them and only want them.
There are 24 hours in a day honey; if he or she wanted to cheat on you they’re going to cheat on you. Forget them coming home to you at the end of the day. Like we all know, we always, even if we don’t have the time, we’ll find the time to do that thing we really want to do. Just in this case, that thing is a another person.
Another thing; wearing rose colored glasses, believing this person is all that and then some, because they’ve been nice or taken you a couple of places. Especially if you’ve only been dating them for a couple of months. As I’ve found out, it fades. Not saying that everyone is like this, because I’m sure there are people out here who love going to new and exciting places. I just didn’t end up with one of them. That’s why I always say take your time getting to know someone before you let them into all of your business (Women especially). Once you say too much, it can’t be taken back. They heard what they heard and you said what you said.
The reason it’s important not to say too much; people have a tendency to use your words against you. At the time you could just want to share something personal, because you want to feel more connected with them….. I get it….. But, DON’T! You don’t want all your ex’s to know all your secrets…… Right?
Well back to the topic at hand…. LOVE
A four letter word that when experienced is filled with so much emotion. Without it, many of us feel lost and alone. A lot of us would allow ourselves to be manipulated, beaten, and taken advantage of just to have someone to say they love us.
For many of centuries women and possibly some men have gone through the really horrific side of “love”. Being made to feel they’re less than because they’ve decided to be vulnerable, or because they’re mate was the provider. To anyone who finds themselves in a relationship like that, I take my hate off to you. I don’t believe I could ever deal with that type of mistreatment. It takes a lot of strength to be in a situation like that. I know we like to say: “He’s weak or she’s weak for staying with them”, but that’s strength. Strength you could be using for something much better than getting disrespected, ignored, or beaten.
Inconclusion, love from another may come with time. But the only love that matters is the love you give and receive from yourself.
“Mmmmm… Your lips feel so good on my skin. Knowing you, has come with many benefits.” Passion said looking down at Jaylen. Who moments before was immersed in all of her glorious juices.
Passion was a woman of many faces. Her love for sex always seemed to over power any emotion. She never would admit it, but she was addicted to the pleasure and closeness sex brought. Many times it didn’t matter with who. Woman or man did not concern her. The only thing that mattered was getting that fix. So naturally when Jaylen was hired, she instantly made him her concubine.
“I agree Ms. Whitaker, it has.” Jaylen managed to say in between slurps.
Knock.. Knock… Knock…
“Ahh… Be with you, in a minute!” Passion was caught of guard. It was approaching 10pm, and because of the time, she believed everyone went home for the night.
“Who could that be?!” Jaylen said in a whisper to avoid being heard. He was just as surprised as her; even a little more so, because this job was the only thing keeping him from being on the street.
“Shhhh… whoever it is, will here you!” Passion was surprised, but she knew how to play it cool. She had been caught to many times before, not to learn a thing or two from her sexual escapades.
“Are you okay in there Mrs. Whitaker?!”
“Rosalind, is that you?” Passion walked over to a desk with plenty of monitors on it. Checking the camera right above her office door, she saw it was indeed Rosalind. “What are you doing here, so late?”
“I wanted to finish up some work for tomorrow…. Can I come in?”
“I’m sorry Roz, but I really have to finish this. Why don’t you go on home; and we’ll talk in the morning?”
“Okay, Boss. See you in the A.M. Have a good night.”
Passion continued to watch the cameras until she saw Roz exit the building.
A couple seconds later
“Are you for real?! You got my heart pounding so damn hard, right now!”
“What are you so worried about? I told you, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. As long as you keep pleasing me like you have been; you’ll never have to worry about employment ever again.”
“Ms. Whitaker, you know I have way more to offer than just that. I came to work for this company because I really believe I have something to offer.”
“Oh you have something to offer, alright.” Passion said as she looked at his lips, licking hers, becoming moist all over again.
“Dammit Passion, I mean it!”
“Oh I know you do.” And like the true lioness she was, she commanded his submission. “But that is no way to speak to you boss; is it?”
“I thought we were more than that. At least I hoped we were. It’s been six months, I’ve been working with the company, and you promised me that creative director position, a few months ago!”
“And you believed me?…. Ha, ha, ha. You really think that I’m going to give someone I just met, that type of control; not to mention that big bump in pay?”
“I thought you liked what we have.”
“Oh, I do. But not enough to be dickmatized by it!…. If you haven’t realized, this is a company I’m running here; not a charity! If you want that position, you’re going to have to work hard, just like everyone else!…….” Passion peeped the game he was trying to run, the first night they met; a little over six months ago. “Oh, I know… you thought because we’ve been messin around, you could just ask me for what ever you wanted, and I would make it happen…..” Even though that is what he assumed would happen; he didn’t expect her to put two and two together so quickly.
“I’m sure you thought because I’m a little older than you and a woman, you would be able to play me. Sorry to inform you; I won before you even began. I knew that your little young a** was flirting with me because you believed me being a woman would constitute an easy take over for you. But I’ve played this game more times then you have. Every time I come out on top; sometimes literally and other times financially. And I’m gonna tell you now, this isn’t a game you’ll win. Now, can we get back to you pleasing me?!” Jaylen took a little to long to get back to the task at hand, so she interrupted his thoughts. “Ah…. that wasn’t a question!”
Part 2 will be up next Friday at 5am.
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There are so many things to talk about. But I fear that if I talk about what is really on my mind many people won’t want to read about it. If you haven’t been able to tell, I’m interested in getting justice for every single person who has been done wrong and who continuously gets done wrong. I have to be honest though, when it involves people who look most like me, it strikes a different cord. I figure it might be because those who look most like me are those who get treated the worse.
You see or hear proof of what I’m saying 5 to 6 times a week if not everyday of the week.
I have to say, I have nothing against anyone. I just feel really messed up about situations like this. I believe it’s sad that things like this still happen. I don’t know the answer to correcting the way some people see us. I thought if people of color moved to their own separate island things could change. But I’m sure if we were lucky enough to get that type of freedom; someone would want to burn the island down. Not being dramatic. It’s just that history has proven that is something that could happen (Black Wall Street).
Don’t think I see everyone through the same lens because that isn’t the case. I just know there are some people who want us to remain here, because as long as we’re here they can feel superior, and countless other benefits of us remaining here. It’s sad but true.
For many years black and brown people have been treated unfairly, partly because of their skin color, but mainly we have allowed it. Everyday I have the same argument with my boyfriend; he loves to say, “Black Americans are weak! They only kill you’ll and treat you that way because you’re weak!” That is what I have to hear everyday.
I have to say though, it gets under my skin, partly because it’s true. Also there are some things African Americans had to endure and are still dealing with, because they’re more concerned about making sure their family is safe. To be honest many of us have only been taught to survive, not thrive. Thriving is completely different from surviving.
Thriving: To prosper; be fortunate or successful.
Surviving: To remain or continue in existence or use.
I figure Black Americans handle things differently because we have been under a thumb since we have been on this earth. Although you have some who are fearless regardless of the trials and tribulations they face. Then you have others who are tired of getting beaten on, either physically or indirectly. They’re just tired of feeling the sting, so they find a way to have a nice quiet corner they can call theirs’, in hopes to not be bothered. But the government doesn’t sleep, if they want you they’re going to find a way to get you.
I figure people from other countries or islands don’t understand the way we do things because in their life time they’ve had it hard, “True”. But many haven’t had to deal with daily interactions with people who would oppress them if given the chance.
I feel as a Black American, I’m one of the least protected. Someone could walk up to me and choose to end my life for any reason and most likely they would only get a slap on the wrist.
A: Because my skin wasn’t the color of importance.
Everyday a black or brown person is being arrested, killed, discriminated against, and anything else you could think of. All because of ignorance and control.
I could go on and on, but I want to hear what are some of your thoughts on this subject.