Short stories

Anxiety OVERLOAD!!

Good Morning!!!

I hope everyone has a FANTASTIC Friday! I am so happy we are finally here! Meditation here I come!

For the past couple of days I haven’t been feeling myself. I’m sure it’s because of what I’ve been eating (Donuts, cereal, chips, & cakes).  I know these things aren’t good overall, but when you add a extreme social anxiety and extreme  depression it gets a whole lot worse. Not to mention, lack of sleep.

At the current moment I’m not in the most ideal please in my life. See I’ve been writing blog after blog about being okay where you are right now. It is true, you should make peace with what ever part in life you’re in. But somedays I just want to be on my own again. I know the day will come. It’s just sometimes the process gets to be a little too much for me to bare, sometimes I just want to check out of life. Then I start to think how good it could be if I wait it out.

There’ve been plenty days when I just want to go faraway from everyone and be alone, because uncertain feelings scare me. Incase you haven’t realized this because you’re someone who’s always around others and are comfortable with it, being around people emotions start to stir up. This is usually time I check out, because I don’t trust many or easily for that matter.

I wanted this to be an uplifting post, but we all know some days are going to be more trying than others. So I just have to make sure to keep a positive mindset and know tomorrow will be a better day.

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As Always

Short stories

Sugar Coated S***

What’s up Everyone?


Like you, I have stressors in life. Work is one of them. That’s why I don’t love my job. I’ve been working with child for close to 10 years now. Like I always say I love working with the baby’s, it’s the adults I have a problem with. Working with adults becomes my problem because I always feel like a disagreement is going to turn into something more than a that. So I bite the bullet and just suffer in silence.

At first it didn’t get to me as much, but over time it is starting to really piss me off . I try to take the high road but people believe because I don’t disagree or have anything negative to say that I’m a dimwit. That is far from the truth honey. I keep my mouth closed and my feelings bottled up, because I know if I was to say what was really on my mind some feelings would be hurt. Instead of me hurting someone else’s feeling mine get hurt, because through all the pain I’ve learned not to let others see my pain unless I allow them too. 

Poop Shit GIF - Poop Shit Fail - Discover & Share GIFsOver the years I’ve gotten so good at not expressing myself that sometimes it’s hard too. That’s why I believe it’s high time for me to see someone regarding my mental health. My mother always wants me to tell her my problems. I’m sure you already know why that is a “No go”.

I really believe speaking to someone about the things I’ve experienced, and the thoughts and feelings I have is going to be a great change of pace. It might be the very thing I need. I know there’s a stigma behind talking to someone regarding your feelings and mental stability. But we all need to talk to someone every now and again. 

I have yet to experience it, but it feels good to know soon I’ll be in the company of someone who has a passion for listening and helping others with their problems. Too many times I’ve tried to talk to the people around me, and they’ve either cut me off to talk about something that interests them or they use everything I say as ammo or to benefit themselves. 

So this will be a really great change in pace. Maybe This will help with my anxiety, feelings of depression, my self image, and my possible ADHD. 

We all go through things. What counts is how you rise above every heart break, all the physical, mental, and emotional abuse and how you choose to live life after experiencing these things.  Don’t get it twisted even the strongest of us needs some counsel. So don’t believe speaking to someone makes you weak because it doesn’t.

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As Always 

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What would you do?

Good Morning, Good People!!!!

Well as I’m sure you know I always bring something from my personal life to any blog I’m writing. Well today is no different. Today’s  blog is how I’m living with an asshole and didn’t even know it.

I’m sure if you’ve read any of my blogs before, you know of the individual I’m speaking of. He never fails to surprise me with the level of pettiness he possess’.

Well, recently I rented a car because I needed to get back and forth to work. The car I rented was a 2020 Toyota Camry. To be honest it wasn’t even my first choice, but I was so happy to get it. The thing I was most concerned about is it’s reliability. I was so happy  I didn’t have to worry about it overheating, or anything!! I was so thankful to have that car for a full week!

My reason for renting the car in the first place was do to having car problems. Now that I’ve experienced how good that car rides, I know I’m going to have to work harder at my side hustles to get what I want. After you’ve had a taste of something better it’s hard to go back to something any less.

Image result for men aint shit Well.. let me get to the reason I’m writing this blog. My EX I currently live with saw that I was driving a different car. So he took it upon himself to get the same car I rented. It’s not the 2020 but it’s a newer car than he had before. The car he had before was a 2004. I’m not sure if it’s a rental or he actually bought the car. But I thought that was really messed up he would do something like that!

When we started dating I had no idea that we would ended up here. The face he showed me when we started dating apposed to the one he’s showing now seem to be two completely different people. But there’s nothing I can do but go through it and grow from it. One thing for sure, I won’t be getting tangled up in any more relationships, until I find out who I am first.

I decided that I was not going to do anything, but grind until I get to the level of success I want. So many times we let people and material items drive our actions. I’m choosing not to fall in that trap. Even though I might not have everything I need and want, I have the ability to get it. As long as there is breathe in my body and ambition in my heart, I know nothing can stop me.

Sometimes you have to remind yourself that they may have won this round, but what they do has nothing to do with you anymore. So, when you have someone that is showing of what they have to get a reaction out of you; it reflects how they feel  about their self. Know that they’re only doing that because they have yet to discover what’s really important; and it doesn’t consist of material items.

Question: Do you believe I’m reading to much into this? If not why not? 

What would you have done if you’re Ex did something like this?

As Always

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Finding you

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Good Afternoon, Loves!!

I pray life is treating you well…

Self love– regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

This is one thing every person should have for themselves but don’t. Many times people or situations, cause you not to feel this for yourself. That’s the reason we have so many negative things going on in the world.

A lot of people have begun to feel complacent with not feeling good about themselves. That is definitely not a head space we need to be in. Regardless of the things you’ve been through in life, you have to learn to move past the pain, find the silver lining (there’s always one). I know sometimes the bad may out way the good, but there still is good.

I’m not sure why negative affects stay with us longer than positive ones. But you have to allow yourself to get out of that negative head space, so you can thrive and start living life with purpose instead of technicality or responsibility. Try turning that negative thought process around.

Instead of thinking, “I hate my life!” think ” I love my family. I’m so happy they were placed in my life.” or “I’m getting older. I have nothing to show for it. At this point life is pointless. No career, husband, or children.” you could say, ” I have my freedom, and I’m excited to see what beautiful blessings God has for me, because what is for me, will soon be mine .”

See the problem with most of us these days, we want everything right now. If we don’t get it when we think we should, we start to spaz out. We start to believe our time for success is never coming, we’re never going to get married, we’re doomed to live a life of poverty, we’ll always be a loner; I could go on forever. Truth is, we have so many fears, that we’re allowing them to run our lives.

You’re always going to have some fear. The key is to use it as fuel; not an excuse to not achieve your greatness. Let that fear propel you to be the best singer, songwriter, writer, actor, doctor, lover, teacher, activist.

What ever you have passion for, let your love for it guide you. Through doing what’s in your heart, you find the way back to you.

If you need further help getting out of that rut; here are a few books that are guaranteed to get you back on track. The key is to practice what you learn in these books, daily.

Also, don’t forget to LIKE, FOLLOW, SHARE, and COMMENT; so others who are going through depression or self doubt can be helped by this post. Know that a person can be laughing on the out side, but inside are empty because they feel as if their life has no purpose. Show them it does.

As Always, Love you’ll

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Anxiety-a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

It’s something I’m sure affects a lot of us. The sad part is it can be caused by almost anything, like changes in your daily routine, life changes, dealing with unfamiliar people, and the list goes on. When it comes it’s not something easy to handle or get over, because it makes you feel awkward and out of place. I know personally how anxiety can affect you when you don’t know how to handle it.

Below is a list of things that cause Anxiety

  • Diet
  • Lack of exercise
  • Personal relationships
  • Job
  • Finances
  • Traumatic experiences from childhood or recent ones
  • Side effects from medication
  • Unstable mental health
  • Lack of sleep
  • Lack of a healthy diet


Anxiety Disorder Symptoms

  • Stomach Pain
  • Difficulty Breathing
  • Negative Thoughts
  • Feelings of Worry
  • Pain in your Chest or Heart
  • Insomnia
  • Feeling Detached

Just incase you haven’t realized that anxiety is a side effect to the way we’re choosing to live today, I have a few other disorders that stem from anxiety and depression.

  • Bipolar
  • Schizophrenia
  • Substance Abuse
  • Phobias
  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • Panic Disorder
  • Social Anxiety

All of these disorders stem from the way we live these days. Most of our time isn’t spent with the people we should be building relationships with, like our family, friends, and significant other. Most of us are trying to get a career going in the first years of becoming an adult. During this time a lot of our personal relationships dwindle because we don’t have the time we use to, to spend with our family and friends. That soon turns into guilt, then the guilt turns into anxiety, because we want to show our loved ones we care but we just don’t have the time.

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