Short stories

How it’s gonna be…..

Good Morning!

 

I feel a little bit better today. Not much has changed but the way I feel. I don’t feel as irritated and angry. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I’ve realized it’s good to hold your true emotions back sometime.

Well any, there is so much to be grateful for. Sometimes the ways of the world get in the way. You don’t realize how blessed you are because you have something in your life blocking you form that realization. That was me yesterday. I just felt inconvenienced and wanted to shut myself off from the world. I have to admit though, that is me on an everyday basis. Not because I don’t like people, mainly because I want to protect my energy.

People that I’ve grown up with and even my mother thinks I’m a little too sensitive because I take on other people’s problems as my own. I’m sorry! I don’t know how else to be. I’ve always internalized all problems, even if they weren’t mine. I understand that is something I need to work on. That is one of the main reasons I can’t be around certain people; because they will drain me of my energy. Whether you realize it or not it takes a lot of energy to really care about the next person’s problems.

At times I felt that I was an emotional dumping ground. That’s why I’m trying to prepare myself for when I move in with my mom. I know that I’m not going to be able to be home too often because she likes to invite people over; then wants me to come out and greet those people. She just doesn’t understand how uncomfortable that is for me.

Some times I get into moods where I don’t want to talk to anyone. When I’m around her, I have to talk to the people around her; if I don’t, I feel regretful of not saying anything to the other person, because I’m stuck thinking about the way I made them feel because I didn’t acknowledge them.

To be honest it’s a viscous cycle. That’s one of the main reasons I’m a person that like to stay to myself. The only time you’ll see me around other people is when I have to be or when it’s people I know really well and I consider them my friend. Not that I don’t have times when I can talk to complete strangers, because I can also do that; and have lovely conversations with them. I just believe over time I’ve allowed my shyness to dictate the way I live my life.

I have tried working on that, and I’m gonna to continue to work on that. The bad thing about being shy is never feeling free enough to do what you feel, and it’s not good in business either. That is another reason I need to work on getting passed this stage.

Do you know anyone who has this problem? And if that person is you, how are you helping yourself through this process?

Also if you’ve enjoyed this post or can relate. Please make sure to LIKE, SHARE, and COMMENT.

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As Always

Photos Provided By: washingtonparent.com,

empowering

If Loving You is Wrong….

Good Morning

There was a little something on my mind……

Why do we allow ourselves’ to endure so much pain?

I’m sure most of us know life would be so much more fulfilling if we avoided the unnecessary drama. But I believe what has us coming back; being that glutton for punishment is an emotional attachment.

If you never thought about it, I encourage you to. There are people who are in relationships or deal with people because they have some type of emotional attachment, and that is the only reason why. You know what I mean?  The ones that you stay with because you love them or just don’t want to start over because you believe it’s less of a headache or heartache to keep them.

I understand that you don’t want to waste time looking for someone else. Often times, that’s exactly what you should be doing. Take the time to get to know yourself. Once you get to know you, you’ll learn what you like and what you just will not put up with. As we know, the average person is going to do what ever they believe they can get away with. Not saying it’s right, that’s just the way it is.

So if you’re a person who’s in a relationship with someone who keeps doing things that hurts you or you wouldn’t dare deal with if it was someone else. It’s time to say, “Bye, bye”.

Sometimes things work if your other half loves you enough, but many times it doesn’t. So you have to be prepared to be just fine on your own, if they can’t get it together.

For those who are still living in La La Land and think, “If I love the person enough, they’ll change for me, because they love me.” Let me tell you a story.

Sandra was 16 when she met who she thought was the love of her life, a guy by the name Evan. He was 2 years her senior. Everything about him was wrong. At the time she didn’t know it because like most teenagers, she was young, dumb, and in love.

Time passed.

For the first few months it was heaven. He would do things like, call her every morning to hear her voice or stop by to make sure she was okay. Then one day, things changed. He stopped calling her, stopped coming around and stopped doing a lot of other little things he use to. She started to believe she did something wrong. So instead of blaming him for the change, she blamed herself.

She hadn’t done anything different. But she figured it had to be her fault because he had never acted that way. So in attempts to get their relationship back on track, she did what ever she could to make it up to him. Meanwhile, Evan knew Sandra had not done anything to warrant that treatment. For him it was more of a test to see how much Sandra would put up with because of her love for him.

A year and a half later she was still trying to get in his good graces. It never dawned on her that it was never going to be like it was before. She still had hope things would get better. Even after two black eyes, five busted lips, two broken legs, and constant bruises; she believed he was just having a bad year.

Needless to say, things continued to get worse. Time after time he would count on her to rescue him from child support claims from other women (he dealt with while they were together) and countless other things women do for their men because of their love for them. But the real question was, “Who was going to save her?”

Months passed

Now she was 18 and pregnant. On the surface she seemed happy, but deep down she was afraid. Not for herself, but for her child. This was the first time she was able to see clearly.

Sandra wasn’t sure what had changed. She didn’t know if it was experience, being feed up, being pregnant or it was a combination of all three. But something had to change. So one night, she waited for Evan to fall asleep and snuck her pregnant self out of their one bed room apartment and took nothing but the clothes on her back, left and never looked back.

This is something that happened to someone very close to me. I wish she didn’t have to go through that. But like they say, “You live and you learn”.

I’m sure this story is relatable to a lot of you because you have gone through something like this before or you know someone who has. Also, just because he or she aren’t hitting you, doesn’t mean they are good people.

Think of it like this; If it’s something they wouldn’t tolerate from you,  you shouldn’t tolerate it from them. I don’t care what it is; emotional, physical, mental, or verbal. None of these things should be tolerated.

For those of you who don’t know, cheating is apart of emotional abuse. So leave before it gets to that point.

If you enjoyed this post, leave a COMMENT and SHARE. I always love to read your comments.

Photos Provided By: https://upliftconnect.com/how-to-rebuild-yourself-after-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/, https://www.enkirelations.com/emotionally-abusive-relationship-stories.html, https://student.unsw.edu.au/notices/2017/01/signs-abusive-relationship

As Always….