Short stories

Fear of Failure

What’s up Everyone? As always, I hope you are doing well and having grand life experiences.

 Frustration is something I live with on a daily basis. I thought to make it in this world during this time in history was going to be a lot easier than it has been. I find my main problem has been staying consistent. I’m working on it. It’s been a constant problem in trying to grow my audience. In the past there have been so many things I’ve started, but stopped because I lost interest in them. 

Like I’ve said in so many blogs before, if there is something you want to do, work towards it everyday until you’ve reached that goal. I find that to be easier said than done. I try to follow my own advice, but many times my emotions get in the way of my success. This is never something I count on happening, it just does. But the good thing is, I’m making strides to change that. I’m tired of my emotions setting me up for failure. 

Once I heard this girl say, “What you’re doing right now is what you’ll be doing in the next 2 to 3 years from now. So what that means is; If you have a crappy job now and you want to be your own boss, but you’re not doing anything to create that reality; don’t be surprised if all you have is that crappy job that pays you minimum wage. Remember in order to reap any benefit you have to put in work. The harder and more you work towards your goal, the bigger the pay off.   

I’m sure this is something that many of us know; but we’re just not ready to take on the responsibility of creating our own reality. This usually happens because we are afraid of failing. I know I am. That might be the real reason why it’s hard for me to be consistent; because I’m so afraid that I’ll continue to put in maximum effort and never be good enough to make a career out f this. One thing I’ve learned though is that you have to throw caution to the wind and  do what you want to do anyway. Learn to do it because it feels good. I know that’s why I write.

 If it makes you feel good, no one should be able to tell you anything. Remember, just because some don’t like it enough to help you grow, there will be others that will because they believe in you and what you stand for.

 

As always if you enjoyed this blog, please make sure to like share & comment!

 

Experiences · Movie Review · relationship · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts · Venting

Use it don’t let it use you

This morning I was face with a questioned I’ve always thought of but never answered.

What do you think of yourself?

Naturally, I didn’t stick to a simple answer. I just had to make it long; and that is what you’re about to read.

I feel like I’m naturally a nice person. But I’m overly nice most times because I’m trying to overcompensate for my lack of being my version of perfection.

If I’m honest, that’s another reason I get into relationships with emotionally unavailable men. To be real with you and myself; being with someone at this time in my life, is not appealing to me. I really just want to be by myself.

I’ve had the chance to come to this realization because of my current situation ship. I know now, that the main reason I decided to enter into this current relationship was do to me not wanting to experience life as I did, when I was living with my Mom and her now ex-husband. Besides it was time for me to leave anyway.

At first, I really loved and enjoyed my boyfriend’s company; still do. But the thing that won me over in no time was his honesty and openness. At the time I never experienced that much openness and honesty from any man; not even my father. That’s why something that’s supposed to be so simple, blew my mind. Later on I realized he wasn’t as open as he portrayed himself to be. Now after being together almost 5 yrs, I’m peeping more and more how incompatible we are for each other.

Once upon a time, I thought he was the one. Over the years I’ve come to learn we don’t view life the same. He thinks a good time is staying home and watching something on his computer or working on a car. Me on the other hand; I want to travel and see the world.

There’ve been times I’ve wanted to go on road trips with family, and haven’t been able to. I’m not blaming him, because this was going on long before we got together. Mainly because of my fear to have new experiences, past comments from boyfriends, or the fear of getting cheated on or broken up with because I spent what they deemed as to much time away from them.

But I have to say the beautiful part about getting older is, knowing and excepting ‘ everything isn’t in your control’. All you can do is live for yourself. That’s the only thing you do have control over. That’s also the way to become and maintain happiness; by not letting other people’s opinions become your reality. I’ve been on this earth for close to 37 yrs, and along the way, people have done nothing but tried telling me what I should do with my life; when they don’t know what to do with their own. Because of that, I grew up very confused; trying to please everyone else without taking into account what I really wanted. But thanks to God, my Mother and ALOT of self reflecting, I’m beginning to listen to ‘ME’ more.

That’s actually why I write; because it has and continues to help me escape my reality. I create characters like Passion, Sadie and many others because they’re away for me to either express what I’m currently feeling. In saying that; if you don’t know about either of these stories I’ll leave links at the bottom.

Hypnotically Beautiful

Passion

Last but not least

LOYALTY

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

Live Free

Something I’m starting to realize as I get older:

I DONT NEED A MAN!!!

I’m sure a lot of you may be thinking, “Duh!” But for a long time, I thought I needed someone to complete me. I always thought I wasn’t enough. This thinking held me back from a lot of things. But, you live and you learn. Going through relationship after relationship, has taught me; you have to be happy with you first, before you can expect anyone else to be. Self love is the key component to living. I mean, I’ve always known that. But to actually come into an awakening, knowing everything will be just fine; I don’t need anyone else but me. Is a true blessing.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I’m happy to say that I’ve finally made it. Some people never make it to this point. So my plan to progress through this journey is to, let go and be free, because I’ve always been somewhat controlled; after all, that is the way I was taught to be. But I’m gonna be out here getting my bag, just like everyone else. Who wants to work a 9 to 5?…. Go ahead I’ll wait….

NO ONE!!!!

That’s who. I’m starting to feel 2020 is going to be my year. But if it isn’t, I’m gonna find a way to make it so. I’m learning new things about myself everyday. For instance; I love not having to answer to anyone. That’s something I’ve always done in past relationships. Don’t get it twisted, I’m with someone, but it’s complicated. For the past month to month and a half, I’ve been doing me without having to answer to anyone and it feels good. Another thing, I’ve been able to be selfish. Something I’ve never been able to do before. I’ve always cared more about the person I’m with happiness than my own. I know… that’s an issue; I’m working on it. Also, I’m starting to see my true nature starting to shine through. I’m a hustler baby!!! Who would have known?

My Mother.

It fills me with joy, knowing I’m capable of handling my own business. Even though sometimes I might not want to; I know I have to. Ladies and gentlemen; know you can’t hide behind someone forever. If you’re not use to doing things for yourself, you need to get use to it. You never want to be in a situation were you’re afraid to leave because the thought of going out into the world scares the s*** out of you; that’s no way to be. Trust me I know. For years I hid behind friends, family, and boyfriends because the thought of meeting knew people scared the crap out of me. Not because I had an actual fear of people; but for the mere fact of, when I meet new people I have the tendency to play out the future interaction in my head. Just thinking there is a chance the person won’t like me or want to know me, has always put me on edge. But I’m learning and starting to except more and more everyday (as you should too); what other people think of me is not my concern. The only person’s opinion who matters is my own. I think if we all started to use that as our motto, we would be better off.

Through this platform, I hope to help those who are having a hard time excepting themselves. If you feel what I’m saying or know someone who can relate, please share this post with them. It might just make what they’re going through a little bit easier.

If Fear Runs Your LIFE Are You Really Living?

Don’t forget to LIKE, SHARE COMMENT, and FOLLOW.

As Always, I love and thank you all for the love and support!!!

empowering · motivational · Quotes

Failure is a part of life

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What I have learned a long the way is failure is something you can’t get away from. You try to do everything to the best of your ability and sometimes it’s still just not enough. What you have to realize is failure is many times a matter of opinion. People set up loops and hurdles for us to jump through. Sometimes we fall short of their expectations, but as long as you tried and gave it all you had, that’s all that really matters.

I don’t know where it came from, but I just got inspired to write about failing. Something I seem to do a lot  of. Don’t take that as me downing myself because I’m not. I’m just saying I, like a lot of other people have seen failure and have been affected by it. To be completely honest it affects me greatly because I feel that everything I ever do should be to the best of my ability, scratch that to the best of anyone’s ability. At times I know I can be hard on myself; I guess that’s just the Virgo in me. But seriously we try to hold ourselves to these standards that just aren’t realistic, most times. Like they say, ‘When you fall down get up and try again’. We are always encouraged to try because the story never should end with failing.

If you’re like me and you want to find your way to becoming your own boss; there are going to be many times when you’re going to fail. All you can do is dust yourself off and go back at it again.

What I had to learn and still learning is, my opinion of myself should rank higher than anyone else’s of me and if I fail it’s okay. The upside is I’m trying and that’s all that matters. Sure you may fail over and over again. But if you really believe in what you’re doing it won’t matter, because if you try long enough and don’t let failure intimidate or deter you, eventually that freedom and sense of accomplishment will be your reward for not giving up.

Know you were put here for a reason, and if things aren’t working out, doesn’t mean it’s going to always be that way. Sometimes we have to jump those hurdles to get to the life we want and know we deserve.

As always……

empowering · motivational

Stay Inspired

Good morning Friends,

Hope all is well.

I was thinking…. of something that never really made any sense to me until now, and that is, ‘People being complacent about working for someone else’. I get that it’s a check and you don’t have to worry about where the next one is coming from, because as long as you’re employed, there’s no need to worry about the bills you have to pay every month that come around like clock work. I get that. But wouldn’t you want to have complete control over how much you make and when you have to work? Well that’s me anyway. I guess I got it from my mother because she’s’ the same way. My mother just turned 53 and she is an inspiration because even through everything she has been through she still perseveres. She wanted to become a DJ so she did, she thought she could make a change in the school system and she did. All the children that she has ever worked with young or old (like me) know her name because she has and continues to inspire others to do what  they love. I guess you can say I continue to try to inspire others because she has always inspired me.

It seemed like no matter what was thrown her way she always seemed to make it through. She is proof that you can work for someone else and still pursue your dreams; and be a blessing to others in their time of need. The key is to have faith in the process and know that all your effort isn’t for nothing. Your time will come. Just be patient and trust that you were given that passion/talent for a reason.

Also if you’re looking for a book to read that’s filled with love, lies, and betrayal; check out my recently published book LOYALTY:LOVE, LIES, and BETRAYAL By: Shadrieka Franks