Short stories

FEAR of being GREAT

Good Morning!!!

 

I hope everyone is having a marvelous Sunday!

 

Today’s post is about falling and learning the failure  isn’t in falling. The failure is in not getting back up. I’m sure a lot of you have heard that saying over and over again. Let me put a spin on it. Brake it down so that it will mean more and hit you deeper. 

We all have something or another we want to accomplish in life. Some of us go through life and don’t even scratch the surface of our greatest potential. Do you know why that is?….

FEAR

We may try to say something else is the reason for us not being great, but in actuality fear is the poison that seems to paralyze us all when that time comes to let others know what we’re really capable of. There’s No denying fear has been a large part of how I’ve lived life up to this point. There’ve been many things I have wanted to do but have not, because of fear. Fear of what you may ask; To be honest I really don’t know, but it’s fear just the same.

So what I ask of you and I will practice this too. Work on seeing yourself as more than just your physical presence. Work on looking deep with in yourself. Take the time to get to know YOU. Once you carve out the time to truly get to know who you are, no one can tell you anything about YOU that’s gonna  shake your spirit.  

There is always gonna be a person or thing that will try to block you from getting to know yourself. You’re gonna have to be strong and not put so much of your focus on the outside world. When everything’s all said and done you’re going to have to make sure you’re whole all by yourself. 

The best thing is always work on yourself first before trying to add someone else to the chaos that is YOU. Most of us learn this late in life. I don’t believe this is the fault of our parents, because we’re gonna do what we want to do anyway. I feel it’s because many of us are so in a rush to run before we walk, we stumble and fall before we ever take our first step.

However you choose to get to know yourself is completely fine. There is NO right or wrong way. Remember to throw the judgement out the window when it comes to the process. You may not realize it, but sometimes scrutiny or judgement can spark fear. 

That’s why it’s best when going through this process to not inform anyone of how you’re healing until the process is complete; and that is only if you choose too. It’s no ones business but your own of your healing process.

Below are some ways I’ve found that work in helping you become WHOLE:

  • Prayer
  • Therapy
  • Meditation
  • Practice Gratitude
  • Do more of what you love
  • Spend quality time with yourself
  • Challenge yourself to do something you wouldn’t typically do.
  • Live in the moment
  • Have FUN

 

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As Always 

Luluslavishlathers.com

 

Original Photo Provided By: https://doctorilene.com/2017/12/how-the-fear-of-hurting-others-creates-chronic-anxiety/

 

Short stories

Never be afraid to be YOU

12 Inspiring Quotes About Fear

Good Morning!!!

 

Hope everyone is doing fine…. I was going through trying to figure out what I was going to write about today. There’s so many things that go through my mind, but not all of them can make it to the post. Most recently I was thinking about starting up a couple other things. The only problem with this is making sure I stay consistent. Remaining consistent has always been a struggle for me; No matter what I’m supposed to do. The only time I seem to get things done is when it’s for someone else. That is a habit that must change.

As for the things I want to start doing; YouTube. I started a channel a while ago but stopped making content because I obsess over every aspect of the video, to the point of me not posting one. I’m working on letting that perfectionist go. I tell myself there are many things I plan to do in life, but they never seem to go any further then that. So to correct that I’m working on keeping my word to myself. It may be one of the hardest things I’m gonna have to learn, but it’s something I’m actively working on improving.

 One of the other things is getting my Podcast up and running. I tell you; there are so many was out here to make money, you just have to be open to the possibilities of what may happen once you let go. This is something I constantly have to remind myself of, because I always contain my real self. I do this for fear of not being accepted. Amazon.com: WeSellPhotos What Do I Fear Motivational Inspirational Quotes  Poster Photo Picture Framed Wall Art Print for Players Coach Trainers  Motivators Office Classroom Gift (8x10 Photo Unframed): Posters & Prints

The bad thing about always silencing or containing your true reactions and emotions; you start to loose yourself. I know this from experience, because I don’t know if the person I am in everyday life is the person I am when I’m alone. The person I am when I’m alone is someone completely different. Hell… the people I create in my stories are a lot more exciting then I am. 

I think I learned how to permanently silence and hide myself once I was taught to care what other people think. The hard part now is to unlearn that behavior. The only thing I want to do is be the person I would have been without the years and years of indoctrination. The great thing is; at least I understand unlearning and not doing what’s expected of me will bring me closer to who I’m supposed to be. 

I know that deep down, under all these insecurities I am a free spirited, open, loving, kind, generous soul who does what she wants without the nagging voice saying; Don’t be too different. You run the risk of being rejecting when you’re not digestible. Even though I know this isn’t true, it’s still something that keeps me from showing the world who I truly am.

If you took the time to read this blog in its entirety;  Thank you!  

Would like to tip the writer CashApp: $ShadsShortStories

 

As Always

 

Photography Provided By: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/inspiring-quotes-about-fear.html, https://www.amazon.com/WeSellPhotos-Motivational-Inspirational-Motivators-Classroom/dp/B06XQZNLCM

 

Short stories

When Will it End?

Disclaimer: Today’s topic I understand can be a little sensitive. So if you’re easily offended or the discussion of race offends you, you may want to leave now.

Good Morning Everyone,

 

I know the last week hasn’t been a pleasant one. There has been so much going on in the news with the George Floyd Killing. I didn’t watch the video. For someone like me who is very sensitive to others feelings and trauma; I physically couldn’t watch it.

When is it gonna STOP?! The killing for no reason, the harassing, bulling, taunting, lying.  I never understood why some won’t just let us live harmoniously in sync with one another.

To be honest I don’t think it will ever change. I’m glad that things aren’t as bad as they once were; but there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. Theses men, women and children out here are loosing their lives’! The sad thing is; people only mourn them for a couple of days to a couple of weeks, then they’re forgotten. At least until there is another black man, woman, or child killed again for some stupid idiotic reason!

Many Black people say: “Why do we need White allies?”. We need allies from all ethnic groups, but we particularly need ones who are White because they’re the ones with universal respect. With there acknowledgement of prejudices happening against those of other ethnic backgrounds it could light a fire under those who feel our lives have no value.

There’s so much to say, but I fear the words escape me at the moment. So I’m just gonna tell you how I feel when going into ‘White spaces’. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a person who loves people, but love my people more. I believe everything about us is beautiful; from our many times coily hair, to the magical melanin in our skin, that can make us dark as night. I can go on and on about what I love about being Black.

Apologies are cold comfort in yogurt-shop racial profiling | The ...But with all the positives come negatives; the constant fear of being pulled over, or the uneasiness of having someone follow you around the store, believing you’re going to steal because of your skin color. These are things White people don’t have to worry about. There’s a s*** load more of things Whites don’t ever have to contemplate; all because they’re the “Right” color. Loosing their life because someone felt threatened by their tone.

The more the reality hits me of how unequal we are, the more it saddens me that the only thing that make me different is my color. It saddens me because there are a lot of people out here who while kill a Black person before they would ever think of harming an animal. Many times I’ve seen how others are so quick to standup for Animal Rights, but when it comes to Black People it’s like saying, ‘F*** YOU! You should be happy that I’m even letting you breathe right now! 

I just wonder if those bigoted Whites were to get treated as they treat us, how would they feel to loose a loved one because the officer felt “threatened”? What if they had to prepare they’re children to be extra nice and polite, all because they wanted to make sure they came home alive. Or they lost someone of their ethnicity every month; how would they feel? What if they didn’t have the privilege of doing whatever and saying whatever to whom ever?  Just a question, that deserves an answer. 

 I’ve already made this too long, so I’ll stop here.

My Father Could Have Been Killed By Police – STIR Journal
The heartbreaking thing is; this isn’t all the men, women, and children lost during a police encounter.

Photos Provided By: http://www.stirjournal.com/2016/04/22/my-father-could-have-been-killed-by-police/, https://youtu.be/SASUEbuCnzA

As Always

empowering · Experiences

Is Content King?

Executive Forum - Performance Leadership InstituteEveryday you hear the infamous saying, ” Content is King?” When I heard that saying I thought they meant the content you produce has to be better then those in the same field as you; but that isn’t even close to what they’re saying. What really is meant by this saying is, “If you put out content on a consistent bases you’ll learn more and in turn will grow from your consistency.”

All these years I believed my content wasn’t up to par. Mainly because I wrote from a place of experience and feeling and others write from facts or gossip. Gossiping or bringing down someone for the betterment of myself was never a thing of mine. If possible I love to build people up whenever I get the chance. It makes me feel good to make others feel good.

That’s why I started this blog; to keep a journal of different things I’ve encountered through out the years, also I just love to write. Through writing I realized I’m the same way whether you meet me in person or we were just chatting online; I’m always gonna find some way to pour into everyone I encounter. I just feel pouring into others sometimes is as good as  pouring into yourself.

Like I was saying, “Content is King” in the sense that you consistently produce bodies of work for others to consume, so you can continue to grow throughout the process. Never be afraid to start.

Real failure comes when you don’t try. 

Give yourself that chance to be great. Who know you could possibly when a Noble Peace Prize or what you thought would mean nothing to anyone meant something to everyone. In this games you have to be brave enough to fall on your face a couple of times. Eventually you will get there, just keep on trying.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated an supple? Go on over to Soapsbyshad.etsy.com
&
If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

Photos Provided By: performanceleadershipinstitute.com,

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Authentic Living

Start living your Authentic life — Glitter N' Grace

Good Morning!!!!!

There are a lot of things I could chose to write about; Covid-19 (I’m sure we’re all tired of hearing about that, I know I am), love or the lack of it, My Ex getting on my last damn nerve! (That one came in a really close second). But I’m not going to talk about any of those things today. What I want to talk about today is about being yourself and knowing your natural self is good enough to be with or around anyone.

That’s something I had to be reminded of last night while talking to my Mom. She made it clear to me how I come across on camera and on my podcast is very monotoned and boring, but I’m nothing like this in person. I told her the reason for that is; I don’t want to be judged. The truth is your going to get judged regardless. So you might as well have fun creating and stop second guessing yourself.

Authentic Living Quotes & Sayings | Authentic Living Picture QuotesFor a long time all I wanted to do was some type of entertainment. Not so much visually, I wanted to do things like Podcasts, blogs and books. But I realize while I  want those things to flourish I’m going to have to put myself out there consistently . Not just that, I’m also going to have to be me with no apologizes.

I guess it is true; “There is no better time then now.” So if there’s anything that you’ve wanted to do for ages and haven’t because you were fearful of the outcome; there is no better time then now.

Hell, you’re stuck out home anyway. You might as well make it count for something.

Also, no one ever got anywhere happily by doing and being what others wanted. After all there is no one like you out there, so learn to bless every and anyone you meet with your natural beautiful self. Anything else would be a disservice to you and to them.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated an supple? Go on over to Soapsbyshad.etsy.com
&
If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always  

Photos Provided By: glitterngrace.com, picturequotes.com

Experiences · Movie Review · relationship · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts · Venting

Use it don’t let it use you

This morning I was face with a questioned I’ve always thought of but never answered.

What do you think of yourself?

Naturally, I didn’t stick to a simple answer. I just had to make it long; and that is what you’re about to read.

I feel like I’m naturally a nice person. But I’m overly nice most times because I’m trying to overcompensate for my lack of being my version of perfection.

If I’m honest, that’s another reason I get into relationships with emotionally unavailable men. To be real with you and myself; being with someone at this time in my life, is not appealing to me. I really just want to be by myself.

I’ve had the chance to come to this realization because of my current situation ship. I know now, that the main reason I decided to enter into this current relationship was do to me not wanting to experience life as I did, when I was living with my Mom and her now ex-husband. Besides it was time for me to leave anyway.

At first, I really loved and enjoyed my boyfriend’s company; still do. But the thing that won me over in no time was his honesty and openness. At the time I never experienced that much openness and honesty from any man; not even my father. That’s why something that’s supposed to be so simple, blew my mind. Later on I realized he wasn’t as open as he portrayed himself to be. Now after being together almost 5 yrs, I’m peeping more and more how incompatible we are for each other.

Once upon a time, I thought he was the one. Over the years I’ve come to learn we don’t view life the same. He thinks a good time is staying home and watching something on his computer or working on a car. Me on the other hand; I want to travel and see the world.

There’ve been times I’ve wanted to go on road trips with family, and haven’t been able to. I’m not blaming him, because this was going on long before we got together. Mainly because of my fear to have new experiences, past comments from boyfriends, or the fear of getting cheated on or broken up with because I spent what they deemed as to much time away from them.

But I have to say the beautiful part about getting older is, knowing and excepting ‘ everything isn’t in your control’. All you can do is live for yourself. That’s the only thing you do have control over. That’s also the way to become and maintain happiness; by not letting other people’s opinions become your reality. I’ve been on this earth for close to 37 yrs, and along the way, people have done nothing but tried telling me what I should do with my life; when they don’t know what to do with their own. Because of that, I grew up very confused; trying to please everyone else without taking into account what I really wanted. But thanks to God, my Mother and ALOT of self reflecting, I’m beginning to listen to ‘ME’ more.

That’s actually why I write; because it has and continues to help me escape my reality. I create characters like Passion, Sadie and many others because they’re away for me to either express what I’m currently feeling. In saying that; if you don’t know about either of these stories I’ll leave links at the bottom.

Hypnotically Beautiful

Passion

Last but not least

LOYALTY

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

Live Free

Something I’m starting to realize as I get older:

I DONT NEED A MAN!!!

I’m sure a lot of you may be thinking, “Duh!” But for a long time, I thought I needed someone to complete me. I always thought I wasn’t enough. This thinking held me back from a lot of things. But, you live and you learn. Going through relationship after relationship, has taught me; you have to be happy with you first, before you can expect anyone else to be. Self love is the key component to living. I mean, I’ve always known that. But to actually come into an awakening, knowing everything will be just fine; I don’t need anyone else but me. Is a true blessing.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I’m happy to say that I’ve finally made it. Some people never make it to this point. So my plan to progress through this journey is to, let go and be free, because I’ve always been somewhat controlled; after all, that is the way I was taught to be. But I’m gonna be out here getting my bag, just like everyone else. Who wants to work a 9 to 5?…. Go ahead I’ll wait….

NO ONE!!!!

That’s who. I’m starting to feel 2020 is going to be my year. But if it isn’t, I’m gonna find a way to make it so. I’m learning new things about myself everyday. For instance; I love not having to answer to anyone. That’s something I’ve always done in past relationships. Don’t get it twisted, I’m with someone, but it’s complicated. For the past month to month and a half, I’ve been doing me without having to answer to anyone and it feels good. Another thing, I’ve been able to be selfish. Something I’ve never been able to do before. I’ve always cared more about the person I’m with happiness than my own. I know… that’s an issue; I’m working on it. Also, I’m starting to see my true nature starting to shine through. I’m a hustler baby!!! Who would have known?

My Mother.

It fills me with joy, knowing I’m capable of handling my own business. Even though sometimes I might not want to; I know I have to. Ladies and gentlemen; know you can’t hide behind someone forever. If you’re not use to doing things for yourself, you need to get use to it. You never want to be in a situation were you’re afraid to leave because the thought of going out into the world scares the s*** out of you; that’s no way to be. Trust me I know. For years I hid behind friends, family, and boyfriends because the thought of meeting knew people scared the crap out of me. Not because I had an actual fear of people; but for the mere fact of, when I meet new people I have the tendency to play out the future interaction in my head. Just thinking there is a chance the person won’t like me or want to know me, has always put me on edge. But I’m learning and starting to except more and more everyday (as you should too); what other people think of me is not my concern. The only person’s opinion who matters is my own. I think if we all started to use that as our motto, we would be better off.

Through this platform, I hope to help those who are having a hard time excepting themselves. If you feel what I’m saying or know someone who can relate, please share this post with them. It might just make what they’re going through a little bit easier.

If Fear Runs Your LIFE Are You Really Living?

Don’t forget to LIKE, SHARE COMMENT, and FOLLOW.

As Always, I love and thank you all for the love and support!!!

Experiences · Feelings · Informative · Race · Thoughts

America

There are so many things to talk about. But I fear that if I talk about what is really on my mind many people won’t want to read about it. If you haven’t been able to tell, I’m interested in getting justice for every single person who has been done wrong and who continuously gets done wrong. I have to be honest though, when it involves people who look most like me, it strikes a different cord. I figure it might be because those who look most like me are those who get treated the worse.



You see or hear proof of what I’m saying 5 to 6 times a week if not everyday of the week.

Example: The Flint crisis, Central Park Five, property value decreasing if you’re selling while black. That is only three examples, I could have listed a lot more. I’m not going to do that. I’m sure you get the point.

I have to say, I have nothing against anyone. I just feel really messed up about situations like this. I believe it’s sad that things like this still happen. I don’t know the answer to correcting the way some people see us. I thought if people of color moved to their own separate island things could change. But I’m sure if we were lucky enough to get that type of freedom; someone would want to burn the island down. Not being dramatic. It’s just that history has proven that is something that could happen (Black Wall Street).

Don’t think I see everyone through the same lens because that isn’t the case. I just know there are some people who want us to remain here, because as long as we’re here they can feel superior, and countless other benefits of us remaining here. It’s sad but true.

For many years black and brown people have been treated unfairly, partly because of their skin color, but mainly we have allowed it. Everyday I have the same argument with my boyfriend; he loves to say, “Black Americans are weak! They only kill you’ll and treat you that way because you’re weak!” That is what I have to hear everyday.

I have to say though, it gets under my skin, partly because it’s true. Also there are some things African Americans had to endure and are still dealing with, because they’re more concerned about making sure their family is safe. To be honest many of us have only been taught to survive, not thrive. Thriving is completely different from surviving.

Thriving: To prosper; be fortunate or successful.

Surviving: To remain or continue in existence or use.

I figure Black Americans handle things differently because we have been under a thumb since we have been on this earth. Although you have some who are fearless regardless of the trials and tribulations they face. Then you have others who are tired of getting beaten on, either physically or indirectly. They’re just tired of feeling the sting, so they find a way to have a nice quiet corner they can call theirs’, in hopes to not be bothered. But the government doesn’t sleep, if they want you they’re going to find a way to get you.

I figure people from other countries or islands don’t understand the way we do things because in their life time they’ve had it hard, “True”. But many haven’t had to deal with daily interactions with people who would oppress them if given the chance.

I feel as a Black American, I’m one of the least protected. Someone could walk up to me and choose to end my life for any reason and most likely they would only get a slap on the wrist.

Q: Why?

A: Because my skin wasn’t the color of importance.

Everyday a black or brown person is being arrested, killed, discriminated against, and anything else you could think of. All because of ignorance and control.

I could go on and on, but I want to hear what are some of your thoughts on this subject.

As Always….

Information Provided By: www.dictionary.com, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenwood,_Tulsa, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flint_water_crisis, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case, http://www.unz.com/isteve/blacks-and-property-values/,

Photo Provided By: https://www.canstockphoto.com/vector-colorful-icon-people-of-united-43187146.html

Feelings

Here’s To A Different Start

Disclaimer: This post may have a couple of misspells because I’m writing this quickly; On the way to work.

I am tired feeling like fear takes over my whole life; believe me, that isn’t an embellishment, that’s the truth. There are things that I’ve always wanted to do; for example: I’ve always wanted to travel to different countries, go up and talk to a stranger without all the weird anxiety taking over, making everything even more weird. Randomly go on trips with friends without worrying how people are going to view me because I’m a big black woman with a limp.

Many people may know or not know; but I judge myself on a minute to minute basis. I’m sure everyone judges themselves, but I sometime find so much wrong with me, that sometimes it’s hard to find what’s right. That’s why when I do something that is either excepted by others or is a big accomplishment because of my inability to stand out on my own; I praise myself for it. Because I know how hard it was for me to do said task.

I guess you can say I chose to write this post because I’m taking on another job today; aftercare. This will be the first time that I’ve been an overseer for regular ED children, and I’m kind of nervous about it because I’ve never been an authority figure, so this is really something new for me.

Question: Have you ever been afraid to do anything that life hands you?

If so what was it?

And

If so how did you overcome the fear?

Wish me luck

And…….

Feelings · Rant · self-esteem · Thoughts

New Chapter, Same Author

You know what? Up until this point my life has been nothing but work, work, work. I always tried to make sure I had a job. That’s why you constantly see me posting things about working and becoming your own boss. I have missed so much time and opportunities when it comes to having fun and building bonds with people. I guess that may be the reason I’m a little socially occurred when it comes to meeting new people. But I’m truly hoping that things will change and I will learn to be more of myself at all times, because life is to short to always have on a mask. I have to learn that being me is okay and there is no one else in this world like me; so I have to be appreciative of that fact. That’s the one thing I know makes me different.

Also I see this as a time in my life that I an have the fun I missed out on when I was growing up. The only thing now is actually making myself get out and socialize with other people. Stop letting fear paralyze me when it comes to new places, things, and people. I have to say that is a big hinderance for me . There are so many things I have wanted to do in life, but never have done them because I’m always thinking what’s the next person thinking about what I’m doing.

I’ve learned the key is to have fear but do it anyway. That’s the only way you’re going to conquer your fear.