empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts

Mirror

Have you ever spent most of your life being someone’s other half?

If so, why did you feel it was important to be linked to someone in that romantic way?

Are you still with them?

Does always being in a relationship mean you’re codependent?

If given the situation, could you walk away from an unhealthy relationship that isn’t serving you, to take the time needed to better yourself?

Does being attached to someone make you feel complete?

If you’ve answered ‘YES’ to most of these questions, most likely you are a codependent. What that means is you need the attention and affection of others to feel at ease and that you belong. For a long time I was also a codependent. It wasn’t until I got a lot older and started researching the term when I found out it was not such a good thing. One thing I’ve leaned is, it’s always better to make sure you’re covered before you take care of anyone else. Always remember people are people and that no one is perfect. So if you’re with someone you love right now; you maybe even picture yourself getting married to them. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row just incase he or she does not feel the same way.

I understand it may be a depressing thought, but it’s real, and that is what life is. You can’t be blind to the possibility of things between you and them not working out. Like my Momma always told me, “You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket”. The sad thing is a lot of people know this saying, but choose to interpret it in a disloyal way; by cheating. Not having all your eggs in one basket doesn’t have to mean that, it could also be becoming a boss about this money game. Or having strong long lasting connections with others; so you don’t lose yourself if something like a breakup was to happen.

Long story short, people are people. It’s your responsibility to either learn from the situations or let the overwhelming emotions of disappointment and hurt take over. But you would do much better learning how to use those emotions to better you. Use those negative feelings as fuel. Also, keep in mind another person can not complete you. You have to have done that for yourself. Truth be told, when you have a strong sense of who you are, what you like or don’t like, and what you would deal with or wouldn’t deal with; it makes it easier to choose someone who reflects what you feel for yourself. So if you’re broken, more than likely the man or woman you choose is going to be broken. There are very rare occasions where a broken person marries or dates someone who’s confident in who they are; but many times it doesn’t last if that broken person doesn’t find a way to mend their brokenness.

Inconclusion, our relationships are mirrors; what you see or feel about yourself always seems to show in the type of person you date.

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Love yawl to pieces!!!

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empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · self-esteem · Thoughts

Lost

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I don’t know my place in this world. It seems I never have. I give and give until there’s nothing left for me. Sometimes I feel my heart is working against me. Saying things like, “You have it so give it.” OR “Do it! You have the time. You have the ability to help them, him, or her. Don’t be selfish and mean!” These are things I tell myself every time I’m faced with a situation that everyone has neglected to do.

For as long as I have been able to do for myself, I’ve always done for others. I guess that’s just who I am. But there are those times I wish I could be selfish; you know think about me and only me. But… those thoughts quickly leave my mind; because I never want to disappoint someone who is counting on me. Many times it wouldn’t matter if I liked them or not. Regardless, I understand I have a responsibility and me not following through could cause discomfort to others. I never understood it, but disappointing others has always been a fear of mine. I know I as well as everyone who walks this earth isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something deep inside me pushing me to be so.Image result for loyal

My health is shot to shit now because I worry about the well being of others over myself. From what I have read, I found out it’s an empath/ INFP/HSP thing. Many times I wish I could do things without thinking about how the next person is going to feel about it. But I guess that is just my burden to bare. I’m sure I’ll eventually figure out how to cope with this. I really need to find out quick, because I’m getting old. I already have grey hairs spreading across my hair line. I really don’t need this worry to give me any more.

Image result for man crying gifI understand it’s a dog eat dog world, but just because it is doesn’t mean that everyone is that way. Many of us are gentle souls until we are introduced to that concept. I guess you could say that it’s a good thing to learn that early. But I feel it is cutting many adults and children of from a softer side of themselves; because they’ve always been taught to suck it up and stop crying. Granted, no one should be a cry baby. But people should feel free to express themselves and their emotions. I believe when child have the right to express their emotions, they grow up to be a well rounded adult.

sad inside out GIFPlease don’t misunderstand. Expressing your emotions doesn’t mean children nor adults have the permission to go bulk wild. All it means is, they are able to be mad, cry, happy, angry and also verbally express what they’re feeling. Once you start telling a child it’s not okay to cry, they associate that with something negative. That’s one of the reasons I feel there are so many people walking this earth with broken hearts that need to be mended. All because they’ve learned to cut one or more emotions out. So in turn that means they’ve either learned to grieve in silence or not at all.

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