empowering · Feelings · relationship · Thoughts

Infidelity V.S Rape

Good Morning!!!….. I apologize for my absence. Been enjoying my freedom a little to much.

Well todays post is going to be about two different things, that are different sides to the same coin. As you know, I’m constantly thinking. Most times I feel like I can’t turn my brain off. I’m always thinking about something. I already know why that is. If you think you know the answer, leave a comment below.

Anyway, like I was saying…. Why are certain people given a pass when it comes to cheating, and others are expected to except infidelity?

For years, men have been given the upper hand when it pertains to doing the morally right thing. They have been allowed do overs, for centuries! Women on the other hand, are expected to be loyal; and at the first encounter of infidelity, are cast to the side. Thrown away like a peace of trash.

I understand some women may deserve that type of treatment. But women who have been violated had no choice in the matter.

For starters, an astounding number of women and girls in the Democratic Republic of the Congo were raped back in 2018; 605 women, and 436 girls. There were also men and little boys who were violated; 4 men and 4 boys.

Just think about that for a minute….

Think of how these women’s and girls’ lives changed after something so horrific. Many times in countries like that, they view the woman as tainted after something like that happens. As a result, they believe the women/girls did something to make the rapist believe they had the right to do what they did.

I never understood how men can’t see how rape is a power play. It’s something men or women (yes women) do to assert their power over someone.

So think of those men who have no empathy, or understanding for something like this happening to the women they “love”.  Many men aren’t able to move past this, while some are. It won’t be easy, but it’s doable.

Some reasons men can’t get past their spouse getting violated:

  1. They see them more as something to own, and not a person with feelings.
  2. They’re more concerned with their feelings and completely out of touch with how this ordeal affected you i.e-ego.
  3. This one kind of goes with number 2. They’re concerned about what other people are going to think.

There are always going to be reasons to leave someone. Some people aren’t worth the fight. But I tell you, if you feel like that person is worth it and you know you’ll never find any one like them. You need to fight for what is yours. When love is involved, no one else’s opinion matters, but you and the person you love. Also stop allowing these men and women the chance to treat you like crap. Hold them accountable for their actions. That’s how they learn.

Final thought: If you’ve ever cheated or continue to cheat on your spouse, there is no way you shouldn’t be able to go through a traumatic experience such as rape with them. I feel if you love them, you will do anything in your power to help them work through their PTSD that is associated with the incident. But if that isn’t the case and you were only with them because it was convenient. You’ll find a way to make it about you just so you can leave.

Just some things I want you to think about.

Go crazy in the comments.

Do you believe rape is ever the victims fault?

Should a couple take a break, break-up, or stay together if rape has taken place? 

In regards to infidelity, should it ever be tolerated?

Should both women and men be held accountable equally, when it comes to infidelity? Why or Why not?

As Always….

All information provided by: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201705/loving-or-having-sex-woman-whos-been-raped, https://www.un.org/sexualviolenceinconflict/countries/democratic-republic-of-the-congo/ 

Photos Provided By: https://tableforchange.com/6-characteristics-of-an-unfaithful/, https://anchalproject.org/blogs/news/60771523-what-is-rape-culture

empowering · Feelings · motivational · relationship · self-esteem

Should a woman fight over a man?

Loyalty: Love, Lies, and Betrayal on sale now for $4.99

This gets on my last nerves…. I never understood why some women think it’s their place to fight over a man. I could only understand fighting over someone  in the case of that person you’re fighting is trying to do something to harm your other half; but if they’re cheating that’s a ‘No Bueno’. There are women out here looking like fools fighting over men who clearly don’t want them. If you don’t see the signs, let me point some of them out for you.

Signs he doesn’t want your a** anymore

  1. He lets you walk in with out trying to stop you; when he knows he has someone else he just had sex with or plans to have sex with, in the facility.
  2. He hides nothing from you. You constantly find his phone unlocked with text messages, pictures, and calls from different people he has had sex with.
  3. He’s affectionate to the person he was creeping on you with out in public; because in actuality a part of him wants to get caught so he can be done with you.
  4. In the mist of a fight he sides with the other woman/man and helps them fight you.

There are so many more to add, but I think you get the point. What I’m trying to get people in situations like this to understand is: Love you more than you could ever love him, because at the end of the day your happiness is all that matters. If that happiness isn’t with him/her, so be it. Maybe you weren’t supposed to be with them in the first place. Know that love isn’t supposed to hurt and loving someone is supposed to build you up, never break you down. If that is happening in any relationship you have, you gotta to put on your big boy/ big girl draws and walk away from them and that situation. Think about it like this: A relationship is like a job. If it no longer serves you; why are you putting in your time and effort for something that you aren’t going to reap the benefits for? I understand emotion can make you do some crazy things, but you need to eventually take over and think logically. I get wanting to save your first true love. Me for instance, I feel as if I did everything knowingly possible to save my past relationship; but he just wasn’t into saving us like I was. That’s why it’s important to pay attention and watch a persons actions to find out if their intentions for you are the same as your intentions for them. Let them lead with action rather than words because it’s a whole lot easier to say “I love you”, “I only want you”, and  “I wanna marry you one day” rather putting in the work to show that you hold a special place in their heart and life.

I really hope this helps someone who might be on the fence about leaving a toxic relationship.

 Have you ever gone through a time in life when you thought it was okay to fight the accomplice and not your other half for what they did?

If so, how did you feel when it was all said and done?

Know you deserve better……

Short stories · story telling

Desire: Part 11

“The next morning……

“Good morning, Love. How did you sleep?” Desire almost wanted to pat herself on the back for a job well done. Remembering just a few hours prior she was making him, say her name. She must have tried every trick she ever learned to make him cum. But instead everything she did to bring him closer to orgasm seemed to bring her, closer. She was getting more and more aroused by the pleasure she was giving, but Klaus being the man he was couldn’t let her have all the fun; so naturally he took back control. He started with a gentle kiss behind her ear, then worked his way down her neck and then to her breast. By the time he reached her flower, she was sopping wet with nectar. Every flick of his tongue sent chills up and down her spine, and every kiss seemed to make her want him inside her even more.

“I slept pretty good.” Klaus said as he had a smile on his face that spread from ear to ear, remembering the activities that took place the night before.

“So, what do you wanna do now?” Desire was hoping they would be able to spend the whole day together, so they could have time to get to know each other on a deeper level. But Klaus had other plans.

“What time is it, Babe?”

“A little before 10.”

“What?! I gotta go!”  Klaus quickly sprung into motion. Trying to get home as quick as possible, because he didn’t want his wife to notice he hadn’t been home all night. But little did he know, his effort to get home before she noticed was just a waste of energy, because the night before she took the liberty of putting a tracker on his phone.

“Where are you going?!”

“I’m sorry, Babe. But, I really have to go. I have a meeting in the next hour I have to get prepared for.” Lying came so easy for him; sometimes he lied so well he almost believed his self.

“When are you gonna finally tell me what you do?!”

“I told you; when the time is right.”
“I don’t understand why it isn’t right, right now. You act like we haven’t been dating for the past month. It’s not like you don’t know me. Hell, we’ve been f****** practically since we met!” Desire was becoming desperate to find out his line of work. She didn’t understand his reason for keeping what he did for a living as a secret from her; he knew why. He wished he could tell her, because he was really starting to feel something real with her. But he knew the truth would bring a holt to what ever they could become in the near future.

“Babe, I will tell you soon. Okay?”

“Okay. ” Desire began to pout because she wanted to know why everything had to be so top secret with him.

“I’ll call you when I get out of the meeting. Okay?”

“Alright. Make sure you do that.”

As Klaus got ready to leave he noticed his wife’s car outside of Desire’s house. Panic surged through his whole body at the thought of Sheila catching him there; but he had to play it off.

“Are you expecting someone?”

“No. Why?”

“I see someone walking to the door.”

“And, what is that suppose to mean? I thought you had to go. What’s stopping you now!”

“Babe please understand if I meet one of your friends, I don’t want it to be like this.” Klaus wasn’t quite sure if the reverse psychology was working but he was just taking shots at the air hoping something would stick.

“What are you talking about? Like what?”

“I rather them see me when I’m not in a rush.”

By now Desire had seen who was walking to her door and she wasn’t sure how she was going to get her to leave.

“Don’t worry about it. Give me a minute I’ll let you know when you can come out.”

“Okay, Babe. I’m not trying to be rude, but can you make it quick. Thanks” He said as he smacked her butt, retreating back into the room.

Desire had no clue what she was going to say, but she kept in mind to make it quick, because she didn’t want her man to miss out on making his money.

Knock!!! Knock!!!! Knock!!!

“Hold on!” She had no clue what she was going to say, but she was sure something was going to spring to mind.

“Open this door! I know he in there!”  

“Sheila? What are you doing here?”
“Monique don’t play dumb! You know why I’m here!”

“I promise you, I really don’t know why you’re here.”

Sheila gave her some time to cut the act, but soon notice the confused expression all over her face.

“Are you for real?! You don’t know that the man you f***** last night is my husband!”

In that moment Desire felt as if her whole world came crashing down around her. Here she was feeling all the butterflies and flutters of the heart; just to find out that the person she decided to finally whole heartedly give herself to was nothing but a philanderer. And what made it even worse was the fact he was the husband of the woman who broke her heart. Sure she wanted to hurt Sheila in the worst way, but not like this.

To Be Continued…….