empowering · motivational · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts

Toxic Love

I saw something I thought didn’t happen as much with men as it does with women. That was men dealing with abusive women. I didn’t know abusive women were so wide spread. It seems men get abused almost as much as women. The unfair thing when it comes to the law is, they’re usually seen as the potential abuser if the police were to be called during an altercation. What a lot of people don’t understand is men aren’t protected under the same set of laws when it comes to something like that. It’s even worse when it involves people of different ethnic groups.

toxic love 3

Time after time things are done to men that aren’t looked at as abuse because in most cases, it’s a woman doing it to a man. For instance, if a woman out of anger slaps her husband or boyfriend across the head, it’s not seen as abuse. But if the tables were turned and a man did that to a woman it would be seen for what it is. It shouldn’t matter what gender the person is. What’s sad, we have been conditioned to think when a woman hits a man it’s comic relief some how. Beating on someone is never funny. I remember a couple of weeks ago I saw this clip on Facebook of a woman dumping food on her man’s head and also throwing objects at him, because he wanted to do something she didn’t agree with. I have to say, the way she handled that situation was childish. If you have a disagreement while in a relationship you are suppose to be adult enough to talk out your problems. Not throw a temper tantrum because you can’t get things your way. I have to admit though, when I was younger I engaged in that type of behavior. Believe me, I’m not proud of it but that was a chapter in my life that will never be repeated because I’ve learned if you feel the need to put your hands on someone your in a relationship with, that isn’t the person for you or you need help to resolve your issues. For me, I needed to get away from that person because he caused me to turn into something I no longer recognized.

Toxic love 4

In other cases with men dealing with abusive partners, they have to humble their selves immensely in order to keep the peace because they don’t know what might set their partner off. When you have to tiptoe around someone it’s never good or healthy. There’s no reason you should feel like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re with someone you love or are getting to know romantically. But a lot of men stay because they’ve been taught that a man is suppose to be able to take a hit. Not only that, a lot of times their ego has a lot to do with the reasons they stay. Reason being, most men don’t want to look soft in front of another man. So instead of being open about getting abused by their partner they’ll lie, try to make it seem like everything is okay, just so they can save face. But there’s a big problem with that way of thinking. You could get badly injured messing around with someone that has no concern for your wellbeing. But there’s something worse that could happen while with an abusive partner, doesn’t matter if it’s a male or female abuser. They could bring death upon you.

That’s something a lot of people in abusive relationships don’t keep in mind. All it takes is for the abuser to feel like you deserve to get hit or punched or sometimes hit by a car, what ever it is. Is it worth your life?! Do you love this person that much?! They hit you a little too hard or choked you just a little too long. Is it worth it?!

Toxic love2

I never understood people that could literally go to bed with someone that just beat them or choked them. Aren’t you afraid that you’ll go to sleep and never wake up? I’m sure people who deal with someone like that has to be fearful every minute of everyday. That is no way to live. You’re suppose to be happy and enjoying life, not being someone’s physical or emotional punching bag. Yes, there are emotional abusers too. Those are the people that dump on you to make themselves’ feel better. The point is, if the person doesn’t make you happy or makes you happy but you’re either fearful or sad most of the time, it’s time to let them go. This life is too short to deal with unnecessary pain and discomfort. Although you think you’ll never find anyone that makes you feel like they made you feel, press on! No matter how they make you feel when things are good, it doesn’t matter because they have a problem and need to get help. The sad thing is, as long as you continue to tolerate it, they’re going to keep pushing the limits because you continue to put up with it. In a lot of ways it’s like teaching a child what’s right and what’s wrong. You wouldn’t let your child get away with it, so don’t let them. Put them in their place and stand your ground. Don’t let fear trap you and make you stay with someone that doesn’t deserve you.

I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “Why does she care?” I care because someone really close to me went through years of abuse with almost every person they entered into a relationship with. I believe that’s another reason why I’m so sensitive to other peoples emotions. It was no fun watching someone you love and know deserves so much more, go through having their legs broken because they were thrown from a moving car or constantly having black eyes because their partner was having a bad day. There were countless things this individual went through. I don’t know how they did it, but I’m so thankful they did. Most people that go through hard times like this for years, sometimes decades, commit suicide. I’m so happy they saw the light before their was any, and realized they were worth so much more than any person in relationships with them ever made them feel.

To whomever reads this, I hope this post helps you in some way to acknowledge you deserve better. Man, woman whatever, everyone deserves happiness and someone that’s going to make them feel wanted, needed, loved, protected and safe. If you’re in a relationship and the person can’t offer that, there’s no need in wasting your time or energy.

Below are the links to the pictures. Also the first two websites listed are places that are dedicated to resolving this issue.

Photos Provided By: http://www.familyofmen.com/, https://equalitycanada.com/, 2.bp.blogspot.com/_pPyFslik5p8/TK3p3857wwI/AAAAAAAAAj4/rB3HsxvrqtQ/s400/327143-54317-58.jpg, buzznigeria.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/mean-black-woman-beating-her-black-husband-never-hit-a-woman-2015.jpg

empowering

The Price of Employment

I know most people are not going to really be concerned with this post, but this is something I think of on the regular. I’m sure you can tell, because I’m always posting something that has to do with customers, making your own dreams come true, and the unfair treatment of employees. Sorry not sorry, this is going to be another one of those post.

I just want to ask a couple questions. Have you ever thought of the amount of work you put in for someone else’s business? Does your body hurt at the end of the day when your done working to build someone else’s empire? I know that last question probably stung, just a little. The point is to get you to expand your mind and do something meaningful you love. For those who believe it isn’t possible, I want to let you know, it is. The more unique an idea, the more in demand it might be. So if you have an idea and your not sure it’ll work, give yourself the “okay” to try it. There’s nothing wrong with trying. Did you know that’s the way most entertainers, and entrepreneurs started off? They had to receive “No” after “No” after “No” before they could get a “Yes”. Your only problem is your too afraid of failing, that’s why you have no chance of succeeding.

Kick that fear to the curb! If you don’t, you’ll be at that job you hate until you get fired or worse decide to retire. I’m sure your like, “How could retiring from your job be worse than getting fired?” What makes retirement worse is simple, you’re continuously trading your time for money. Most people don’t understand, that isn’t the best way to make a living. Some do, but are to lazy or afraid to do something about it. If that’s you, please retrain your brain to look out for what’s best for you, not for what’s easy. By looking for the easier thing to do I.e. working for someone else making more or less depending on raises or time given, you are putting a cap on your earning capabilities. Also your letting someone else be in control of your livelihood. Do you really want to do that? I think not. Who really wants to work hard with out some type of fulfillment? Not I. If your working with children, the community, or anything that is going to potentially make this world better, this isn’t for you. I understand your getting fulfillment in another way, and I appreciate everything you do.

For those of you working a job, just to receive a pay check, this one’s for you. I’m sure there will be some of you who read this post and it will inspire you to make a change. There will be others who read this post and it won’t register with them because they’re letting the weight of the world make decisions for them. Examples of thoughts: “I have to pay my mortgage. I have no time for day dreaming. Who’s going to take care of my children, while I’m out here chasing a dream?”, and the list goes on and on. The point I’m making is, working on your own terms with minimal limits allows you to make the money you desire in half the time it takes to make your average weekly or bi-weekly income. The only difference is the time you invest in the beginning to start your independent income stream will be based purely off of faith. Faith that the time spent is going to land you some type of profit.

Anything worth pursuing will take time, effort and knowledge. So please be patient with yourself. You’ll get it. You just have to give yourself the time to learn and make mistakes so you can ultimately become what you’ve always known you could be.

                           

“Remember never let any one dime your light because they don’t understand your shine.”