Short stories

Purpose driven life

Good Morning!!!

 

Hope you’re having a beautiful day! There are so many reasons why you should. Before you say or even think of that as a false statement realize experiencing the best out of life is a state of mind. So… with that said, life is what ever you want to make it.

I tend to read a lot of self help books. I do this because I feel the need to work on myself. I’m not going to lie and say I have everything figured out sense reading these books; but they do help me to feel a lot better about myself and situations. They help me to see the world in someone else’s perspective. This in turn helps to boost my mood, which leads to me feeling uplifted and wanting to pass that feeling on. I say this because maybe you’re someone who wants or needs to feel uplifted, and this may be something you use to bring you a little bit closer to that.

There is so much you can do when you feel uplifted and free. For my followers who’ve been with me over the years (I appreciate you all immensely) you know I always say the way the world is constructed, we are slaves to the 1%ers. I’m not saying that in a way to make you feel sad, mad or helpless. I say this because most of us go to a job we hate and  trade our time for money everyday. When we could be just as privileged as our bosses or so many others who took a chance on their selves’.

If you are like some, you might be okay with working for someone else. That’s okay if you are. But if you’re like me, you crave to be in the center of everything great. Even if that means you have to experience some things that aren’t so great. 

Your journey is your own. Don’t get discouraged if the ones around you can’t see or understand your vision. Just remember it wasn’t given to them, it was given to you. 

Never doubt yourself, because you’re capable of doing things you’ve never even dreamed possible. 

Learn the ways of the world through trial and error, when ever possible. When you start living this way, your whole life doesn’t turn out to be a long list of woulda shoulda coulda’s. 

I get that many of us live in our heads. This is even more detrimental when you’re an introvert who suffers from social anxiety, like myself. Just remember these are obstacles that can be over come. You don’t have to sit and bathe in misery (unless you want too).

You control you’re destiny. Stop giving it away!!

Live and be Limitless.

 

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As Always

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Short stories

Agoraphobia-Extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places.

Good Morning!!!

So much has changed!!! I have so much love around me and so many people to talk too. Something I didn’t have before. Well let me rephrase that, I am able to receive the love this go around. Before I felt it was too much and needed to get away. It’s not that I didn’t want the love; Really, who doesn’t want love? I just wanted that love from a man so bad that I hadn’t realized I would except anything to be with one. That is besides the point though.

Agoraphobia | Biological disorders | Psychiatry Journal

What I had in mind today are introverts; something I happen to be. The introvert thing is okay though. I’m okay with spending time alone. My main problem is receiving and being comfortable around other people. I hadn’t even thought about this for the past few months because I haven’t had to be around anyone I haven’t wanted to be around. So naturally the fear or shall I say the anxiety that comes with being around others is starting to rise.

That’s because moving back home has been like having an open nerve ending. I say that because my Mother is a very sociable person and I am not. For me being around more than 2 or 3 people is a recipe for anxiety and discomfort. I’ve always been this way. I do better in a one on one setting. I’ve tried to be that person that goes to clubs, parties and things like that; I’m just not set up that way. My anxiety is way to bad for me to be around a lot of people for an extended amount of time.

That’s why I can understand how we have people who never leave their house. Yes some of these people live in the most horrendous living conditions, but their comfortable. I’m sure some people never put in thought when it comes to seeing people like this and thinking about their back story and why they are the way they are. Well for someone like me who could have easily been a person like that; let me say that it is a struggle to get up and be around groups of people for an extended period of time. That is do largely to my tendency to over think and also because I’m extremely empathic.

So I guess what I’m is; If you have someone around you that is extremely sensitive and recluse, try to encourage them, rather than making them feel weird because they are extremely sensitive or anxiety ridden. Just to make it clear as to how it feels going around large groups of people; It’s like being in the ocean, you see the shark coming for you. You try to get away but you’re stuck in a state of shock. It’s like your mind is working overtime but your body just won’t move.

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This will let them know they’re not alone.

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As Always

 

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Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Shop

Business Shy

Hey Everyone!!!!

Hope this week has been a good one for you. I know it’s been a very busy one for me. All week long and even before that I was overwhelming myself with the things I knew I had to do, in regards to starting my Shopify store.

I’m not gonna lie, I thought it was going to be easy, I gotta  tell you it’s not. Maybe if I was dropshipping it may have been easier, but it’s a whole nother ball game when you’re putting your products out there to be viewed, sold, and critiqued. I want to say, “I don’t know why it is that this is such a trial for me?” But I know exactly why; because it’s something I put my efforts in, I love doing it and I don’t want to hear the criticism that’s gonna come with it. I know for a fact there’s gonna be criticism, cause with what ever you do there’s always criticism. Sometimes criticism can be an opinion, and other times it could be a fact, either way I’m open to it. I understand getting feedback is always a good thing, because it makes you want to do better. Although sometimes it may make you want to give up. When you feel like that, that’s the time you need to push yourself through it.

Just know I’m scared. I’m scared of failing. There’ve been other things I’ve tried my hand at, some I’m currently working on. But this is the only one a larger number of people have seemed to take interest in. Please don’t think I’m dismissing you (my followers a.k.a my beautiful people). I’m only saying this is the only way at the time I see I can make money while doing something I love.

As many of you know I enjoy writing, but this isn’t paying the bills. I feel bad everyday I don’t check in with you all, but I’m working towards something I see someday becoming something bigger than I could ever imagine. Please understand if I could be here writing posts, without financial concerns, I would be writing everyday all day. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury. So all I ask is for you all to be patient with me. Starting up an online store isn’t easy.

Also this whole shy thing I have going on, something I’ve dealt with ever since I was a child; Is something that hinders you a great deal in business. What I’ve learned is the extroverts are the ones who seem to do very well in business because they’re not afraid to be the center of attention when need be. Many times for them it doesn’t matter that their product may be garbage; the most important thing is how well you can sale yourself while selling the product. When it comes to business it’s all about trust.

So at this time I’ve been trying to find a less debilitating way to become more extroverted. I know it’s gonna be a struggle, I just hope in the long run it comes full circle.

Question of the Day: What is your biggest fear?

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As Always

Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · self-esteem · Thoughts

Learning To Let Go

How well do you know yourself?

I chose this as my opening statement because a lot of us deal with things, all because we believe we can’t or don’t deserve to have better. Or we just except our circumstances because we haven’t learned there are better ways of living.

I’m sure daily, you’ve gone through many unwanted, not so great feelings of emotion, that you’ve learned to stuff down, just to get through the day.

That isn’t they way life should be. You should never feel like, “I just need to get through it.”. Do you remember when you were a kid and all you could think of was what you would be able to do when you got grown?

Well, you’re grown now…. What are you doing about it? Do you have that life you’ve always dreamed of? Or are you living a life full of mediocrity, because you’re to scared to leave that box of comfort and complacency?

For a long time, I’ve let others determine how I walk my path in life. Not really taking on the responsibility of living the life I truly want, because I’m afraid of failing. But I’ve learned, failure is something I’m gonna to have to grow to except, if I want to make this life become that dream life I always wanted.

What I’ve learned on this two month vacation, I will take with me through life. During this time I really got to learn me all over again. What I learned during this time; I love people, I don’t like structured environments, I love freedom over any other feeling, and I’m strong enough without the aid of a relationship.

I have to say, learning all of this and gaining strength and confidence in myself is a gift I’ve always had, but because of past circumstances I lost that bold fun loving girl, I use to be. Because of those circumstances, I learned a long time ago how fit into the space I was given. For so long, I couldn’t express how I really felt, because there was always some form of retaliation once I did.

But the beautiful thing about becoming an adult is, you have more control over your energy, and who you allow to be in it. You don’t have to be around those people who bring you down, or the ones who only know you when they need something, or those “friends” who manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to. There isn’t anything wrong with shutting these people out of your life. Don’t let them make you feel like there is. Sometime you have to cut others off, so you can become the best version of “you”; and there’s nothing wrong with that. You even have Oprah telling you the same thing, so listen up and know those situations were given to you, so you could learn and grow from them.

Remember you have one life. What you decide to do with it is nobodies fault but your own. So when you get to the end of life; do you want to wonder would could have happened or are you going to have the balls to go out and make some s*** happen? The choice is yours.

Safe Never Got Anyone Anywhere.

If you are someone like myself who is or has developed an introverted personality; try everyday to change your reality. Sis it’s all in your head. The truth is, most people forget you as soon as you walk away; and chances are, you’re not doing anything they haven’t seen before, anyway. So get out your head and do you, without the fear of judgement; because the reality is no one’s judging you as hard as you’re judging yourself.

Love yourself enough to be free.

health · motivational · Thoughts · Venting

Screwed Up

Good Morning!!!

I know it’s been almost a week since I’ve posted. I can kind of blame the season for that. So many things to do and so little time to do them. But I hope all is well and you got what you wanted from who you wanted it from.

Now for the topic of the day; it’s something I’m sure a lot of you have probably gone through. I hope I’m wrong, but it turns out a lot of children go through a lot of unnecessary things. Just incase you might not be sure what I’m talking about; I’m talking about physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and manipulation. The last one many people may not look at as such a bad thing; but it is. There is so much that you can get a person to do when their sense of self isn’t solid. When you’re an adult things are suppose to change; but if you never took the time to get to know yourself, how are they going too? There are so many things that happen to kids these days that screws them up before they have a chance to become adults; sexual abuse, bulling, stalking, being manipulated, the list goes on! So sometimes when a person comes out a little more screwed up then the rest of us, you can almost understand why they are the way they are. Then you have those children who grow up into adults, that were evil from the time they came out of the womb (What is that?!). That’s another topic for another time.

I wanted to talk about this because I have been through things in this life; probably not as much as some, but I have, just the same. For those of you who had someone in your life you couldn’t stand to be around but had too because you were a child, and had no choice in the matter; you know what I’m talking about. There are people I subject myself to even today because I still have that mentality, that I have no choice in who I interact with. I never noticed it until now.

Another thing I noticed I developed was, a people pleasing mentality; something I really want to loose. I can’t lie, it has made this life easier; but this isn’t the way I want to live out my life. I would rather be a strong solid person who doesn’t require validation from anyone. People who have that confidence and validation tend to live the lives they want. You know why? They don’t let other peoples actions or feelings lead the way they live their life.  That’s another reason I think my life hasn’t turned out the way I planned; I’m too empathetic when it comes to others feelings. Something I’m sure I developed while growing up.

If your story sounds anything like mine, that might be the reason for your emotional and mental turmoil. Some of us are going through things right now, and don’t realize how unnecessary our feelings are for that situation; reason being, it’s not our problem to bare.

Going through life as an introvert/ INFP/ HSP is not easy, because everything that other people feel or are going through you feel. That’s why for people like me I would never suggest working anywhere that has a high turn overrate or high volume of interacting with people; because what usually happens is their energy becomes your energy.

I have a feeling all of that is going to change this year. I’m going to work hard at making this life become the life I’ve desired; as you should. As long as you’re breathing it’s never too late to be who you want to be or live the way you desire. Everything is a matter of perception and hard work.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post.

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self-esteem

Do u see me

How is it possible to be in a room with a million people, but still feel alone?

 I ask myself that question daily. It feels like I’m just going through the motions instead of living life. Sometimes I feel like I’m gasping for air. Being the life of the party is definitely not me. If anything I’m trying to get the attention off of me and on to someone else. I never understood how you could want attention but not want attention in the same breathe. 

I’m hoping to get better at excepting my awkwardness, but some days are harder than others. There are times that I want to burst out of my skin and show how I really feel, but don’t for fear of some kind of repercussion. I think that I missed out on a lot of things life being one of them because I’m always trying to be someone’s shadow for fear of getting noticed. How can you know your worth but be to afraid to live up to it? What are you afraid of and why? Questions like these circle around in my mind. Why? I couldn’t say. I wish that I could get beyond the questions and just live without always being fearful that someone is going to really “see” me and not like what they see. 

 I’m sure that many other people feel like this, but have learned how to get past the fear or they have learned to not care what others think. I’m working on getting there but its been a battle.