empowering · Feelings

Emotional Stagnation

Emotional Stagnation- Is when a person, people, or situation causes you to feel like you’re emotionally bound to remain the same.

F.Y.I: That definition is completely made up. But if this were or is a real combination of words, this would be my definition for it.

Have you ever had times when you felt like emotionally you were stuck doing the same thing because it was what others expected of you?

You realize you don’t have the freedom you crave, but you stay because it’s still better than what you have known all your life. If you’re not clear on what I mean, let me give you some examples:

Being with him is better than living with my mom and step dad. At least he takes care of me. Sure he may knock me around sometime. But I don’t have to worry about someone coming in my room in the middle of the night fondling me.

Or

He’s a great provider. So what if he cheats. At least I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to lay my head at night.

These are just a few examples of the things we reduce ourselves down to, because we are so use to being treated as less than. That we start to think that is the type of treatment we deserve. But you have to know what ever you take at the beginning, is what you’re going to have to continue to take as long as you have any kind of relationship with them; including work relationships.

You have to teach people how to treat you. So if you feel some type of way about anything, you need to make it known, so people can start to respect your opinion.

Q: What happens when you never have an opinion about anything?

A: People start to label you as a pushover and loose respect for you. In the long run this makes working anywhere harder than what it has to, because you’re the person that will do what ever you’re told without any push back.

Now because of this heavier work load, you start to hate work and the people that are in positions that are over you; all because you were too fearful to open your mouth and let them know how you feel about the amount or kind of work you’ve been given. When in reality the only person you can blame is yourself, for not speaking up when you had the chance. I understand some of us don’t speak up because we’re afraid of loosing our job. But keep in mind, if they want to fire you, their going to fire you. Also know; That isn’t the only job on earth. You can get another job. It might not be easy, but it’s possible.

Inconclusion, always do what’s best for you. Even if a situation seems a lot better than your last, you can always place yourself in a better on. Do not stay emotionally stagnate when you know you can do better. Don’t do yourself the disservice of staying in a situation that isn’t serving you, when you know you are capable of more.

The sky is the Limit

Love you all, always.

Photos Provided By: https://www.livingmagazine.net/, https://www.mydomaine.com/emotional-health

empowering · Feelings · motivational · relationship · self-esteem

Should a woman fight over a man?

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This gets on my last nerves…. I never understood why some women think it’s their place to fight over a man. I could only understand fighting over someone  in the case of that person you’re fighting is trying to do something to harm your other half; but if they’re cheating that’s a ‘No Bueno’. There are women out here looking like fools fighting over men who clearly don’t want them. If you don’t see the signs, let me point some of them out for you.

Signs he doesn’t want your a** anymore

  1. He lets you walk in with out trying to stop you; when he knows he has someone else he just had sex with or plans to have sex with, in the facility.
  2. He hides nothing from you. You constantly find his phone unlocked with text messages, pictures, and calls from different people he has had sex with.
  3. He’s affectionate to the person he was creeping on you with out in public; because in actuality a part of him wants to get caught so he can be done with you.
  4. In the mist of a fight he sides with the other woman/man and helps them fight you.

There are so many more to add, but I think you get the point. What I’m trying to get people in situations like this to understand is: Love you more than you could ever love him, because at the end of the day your happiness is all that matters. If that happiness isn’t with him/her, so be it. Maybe you weren’t supposed to be with them in the first place. Know that love isn’t supposed to hurt and loving someone is supposed to build you up, never break you down. If that is happening in any relationship you have, you gotta to put on your big boy/ big girl draws and walk away from them and that situation. Think about it like this: A relationship is like a job. If it no longer serves you; why are you putting in your time and effort for something that you aren’t going to reap the benefits for? I understand emotion can make you do some crazy things, but you need to eventually take over and think logically. I get wanting to save your first true love. Me for instance, I feel as if I did everything knowingly possible to save my past relationship; but he just wasn’t into saving us like I was. That’s why it’s important to pay attention and watch a persons actions to find out if their intentions for you are the same as your intentions for them. Let them lead with action rather than words because it’s a whole lot easier to say “I love you”, “I only want you”, and  “I wanna marry you one day” rather putting in the work to show that you hold a special place in their heart and life.

I really hope this helps someone who might be on the fence about leaving a toxic relationship.

 Have you ever gone through a time in life when you thought it was okay to fight the accomplice and not your other half for what they did?

If so, how did you feel when it was all said and done?

Know you deserve better……

story telling

Black women

  I’m not going to stop speaking about things like this until I start to see a change. I’m so tired of seeing other races feeling free to put their hands on black women. 

The sad truth is that the black woman is the least protected out of everyone. We constantly get disrespected and when it happens we have to deal with people saying that we probably deserved it because the parties involved feel we said something out of the way or they may even blame it on the way that we may have dressed when we came to that facility. No matter what reasoning people try to give; there is never any reason for a man to put his hands on a woman, especially if she never laid a hand on him. I just wonder if those women happened to be a different ethnicity would that have happened? Some say yeah it didnt matter that they were black women.

 I believe that it did. Let me rewind and tell you the situation. Well there were two women of color in a fast food restaurant in Texas I’m guessing waiting on there food and while they waited they exchanged a couple of choice words with the employees. This resulted in one of the employees coming around the counter to try and physically remove them from the facility. Needless to say that was the wrong move on his part.

  This isnt the only time that I’ve seen black women being attacked while in a facility with intent to buy. It seems as if this is becoming the norm. This is my third time seeing something like this in a month. That is a little ridiculous. Don’t you think??!!!

 It makes me sad and stressed to know that black people have to fight so hard just to be seen as non-violent and in a sense equal. But I know for a fact things won’t improve unless we play key roles in our own development as a people. We have to start finding value in ourselves before someone looking in ever can. It has to be known that we are our own support system. I remember growing up in a time that people greeted you when they passed you or upon seeing you (no matter if they knew you or not) they exchanged kind words. This in turn made your day more pleasant, and everyone wasn’t so concerned about self, self, self. We gave respect to our elders, because we were taught things like this. There was way more self control. I miss those times. There was a kind of warmness and sense of protection of knowing that people took the time to speak and stand up for what’s right, and over time get to know you. People now dont even try to engage in conversation with you unless you have something they want (for the most part).  Working with the public you see a lot of different personalities. Truth be told many people that shop dont even remember the person that helped them, whether it be getting something down off of a self or ringing them up “that is so sad”. That in my opinion shows that this society has become to indulged in themselves’. That’s one major reason why we have so many killings, suicides, rape, and the plenty of other things that we have wrong. We have lost that sense of “connecting”. I think connecting with people outside of your circle helps to teach adversity and also helps those that go through things like depression find reasons to keep living. You never know, you may be saving someone’s life just by letting them in to yours.