Short stories

Female Male Dynamic

Question: Has the female male dynamic changed much since the 2000s?

  There has been much going on between the woman and man since the beginning of time. First the men were the providers and protectors and the women were the nurturers and the ones you went to for reason. They were also the ones who kept the house in order along with other duties. In this day and age that has changed. As most of us know times have advanced, and as a result, so has the role of the woman. I’m sure this isn’t true across the board, but everyday we’re making strides for women every where  to have the same rights as any man.

With that being said, there are some things I see a lot of women going through because we are the bearers and carriers of the seed. Because of this we are many times the one who takes responsibility when our other half does not want too. This is something I’ve spoken about before and just can’t shake loose. I’m sure this has a lot to do with growing up in a single parent household; my mother being the backbone of our family, emotionally and financially.

She like many other woman who’ve become mothers at ages as young as 12, 16 or sometimes younger, have had to put themselves to the side to make a way for the little person they have growing inside them. That’s if they’re willing to take on the responsibility.

I ask a simple question that deserves an answer.

“Why?”

Why is society the way it is? How did we get to this point? I understand in love or because of a woman’s nature she will fall victim to deception. That may have a lot to do with men being the decision makers.

I wish we all could be open minded and truly hear what our fellow (wo)man has to say. Regardless of gender, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any other factor I’ve failed to mention. I feel once we’re able to move beyond that we’ll all become better versions of ourselves.

If this is or has been a concern of yours, I would love to hear your thoughts

As Always

Short stories

Manifest your Abundance

Good Morning!!!

Another rainy day here in WPB FL. I’m not here for it. I don’t want to end up with a cold by the end of the day.

As always I hope you all are getting everything and anything you’ve always wanted because the possibilities are endless! It’s us that seem to put limitations on the things we’re capable of doing and receiving. When in reality our limitations are endless. I’m sure some may think it’s a little bit of an airhead thing to say, but it’s true!

Society has taught a great deal of us to continuously live in lack. So instead of trying to change that outlook many of us learn to work around it. We get drunk, over eat, become addicted to certain things we use to escape our current reality; during the times we’re supposed to be creating or making room for our blessings.

Many of us have become so present in our physical world to the point were that’s all we see. We start to believe, “If they don’t like me then I need to find a way to make them like me.” When in reality it’s not up to us how that person feels toward us. What we have to understand is, no matter how great of a person we are to some, they’ll never like you…. and that’s Okay!

The goal is to concentrate on you and make sure you’re a solid human being. My NEW mantra, “Selfcare is the best care.” Reason being, if you can’t take care of yourself how are you going to take care of someone else.

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I hope you enjoyed this sweet short simple blog. 

Go out there and manifest your dreams!

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Short stories

Do what you want always.

This sounds simple enough, right?… Well, this is a simple statement but is only obtainable when you’re completely comfortable with who you are. I believe this is so hard for a lot of us because many of us have become shells of ourselves.

Too often we let the outside world influence what we do and how we move through out the world. When in reality the only person on this earth you need to answer to is yourself. Life was meant to be lived and experienced fully. But what tends to happen is we get side tracked because life is happening to us and not the other way around.

I believe that’s why I admire the people who live life to the fullest, because they don’t allow outside influences to take them off their path. Even though life throws them lemons they still find a way to make lemonade.

At the current moment I’m working on adopting this trait. I mean really, what is better than moving through the world freely, uninhibited and living life on a whim? I truly believe I reached this consciences because the first half of my life was nothing to write about. But this second half is going to be another genre.

Regardless of what others say or are going to say about my choices I have to live for me. As so many other people have to live for themselves’. Too often we allow others power over us when they did nothing worthy of obtaining that occupation.

I guess that’s another reason why I don’t care for a 9 to 5. If I had my choice I most definitely would be moving through the folds of life. Not unemployed, but earning money on my own terms.

What is a Kumiho From Lovecraft Country? Jamie Chung's Character Is a  Mythical Korean FoxFor as long as I can remember I’ve always stood out even when I didn’t want too. In many ways I felt and still feel like Jamie Chung’s character in Lovecraft Country (Ji-ah). Aside from the killing and snatching souls (lol).

It’s a good thing to be different. But the world likes to make you think different isn’t good. I especially find this to be true when you aren’t living the role you were supposed to play. So many of us are unhappy because we have been taught only how to survive. Surviving helps you get through life, but it doesn’t help you LIVE IT!!

That’s where we go wrong. We’re too focused on making it through and not taking it upon ourselves to explore. It’s okay if you get it wrong. The lesson comes by applying what you’ve learned.

Don’t you want to feel ALIVE?! 

I know I do. That’s one of the main reasons I read so many self help books. I know reading may help me come up with how I want to go about living. But it’s up to me to put what I’ve learned and continue to learn in motion.

Change begins at the end of your Comfort Zone

So… are you living the life of your dreams? Or Are you merely existing?

As Always 

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Short stories

Anything is possible. The key is to believe it to be so

Good Morning!!!

I hope everyone is starting out with a lovely Friday morning!

Let me start by saying, you’re out look on life affects EVERYTHING!!! I knew this but the more I begin to look into The Law Of Attraction it is proving to go deeper than I ever imagined. I used to believe it only affects your mood. But when you think about it deeper your mood and beliefs are what determines what type of person you become. For example: If you’re someone who is shy and slow to react, that is how life is going to treat you. It’s going to be slow to react if react at all, because of your lack of confidence.

From what I’m beginning to understand, you get what you BELIEVE you deserve. It’s all in how you think of it.

Example: I live a life of freedom and abundance. What I need the Universe has already provided.

Doubting causes that thing to appear unattainable. We all understand that when something seems unattainable it appears to be harder to get. That’s why when you see something you want you have to believe with your whole heart that nothing is impossible to accomplish. This then frees up the space for doubt to lurk around and cause you sabotage the life you BELIEVE you deserve.

If you would like to learn more about the Law of Attraction and get a book list from me. Drop a Comment. They’re always welcome.

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As Always 

Short stories

Shadrieka

What’s up y’all?

I’m trying something NEW. Not sure how this is gonna work out, but I’m gonna give it a try. Recently I’ve decided to become more concerned with my health. I tried to do this over the years but for what ever reason it just wasn’t working out for me. I always ended up back sliding.

What has got me feeling like this is knowing that school will be open again VERY soon and the other this being tired of looking and feeling the way I do. I really just want to be happy with the way I look. It’s not like I’m ugly or anything, but I do need to work on getting in shape and clearing my skin.

Ever since we have been on this quarantine I’ve gotten comfortable with staying home. It’s not like I was really uncomfortable any way, because I’m an introverted Empath who thrives off of alone time. So it really was like a vacation to me. I didn’t have to worry about taking on anyone else’s emotions if I didn’t choose too. That was the most lovely part about this whole thing.

Now that I’ll be returning back to work I’ve been thinking of different ways I can cope with being around large groups of people. Thankfully I found The Empath’s Survival Guide. Reading this book is helping me to understand my emotions and actions at a deeper level. It’s also helping to correct my addictive behaviors. There’s also a whole section in there about ‘Food Empaths’; these are people like me, who eat to lesson the intensity of an emotion, whether it be yours or belongs to someone else.

Beginning this book along with not being emotionally attached to anyone  gives me the freedom and space to take care of me. This is truthfully the first time I’ve ever been truly unattached as far as entanglements and relationships go. At first I thought not having someone was going to be depressing, but it is the total opposite. I’ve realized I don’t want to be with anyone just to be with them. I want that type of love we see in the movies; that love that comes once in a blue moon (literally).

I know some feel my expectations are too high; but I have faith my perfect match is out there waiting on me. But first I have to experience me and come to know Shadrieka. You know, find out who she truly is, gain courage to stand in the forefront of my life and stop hiding behind everyone else and the decisions they believe are best for me. I’ve lived for others way to long. It’s time I become that free spirit I’ve always known myself to be.

Early Childhood

From the beginning I’ve always been a person who loves people. I can remember way before my mother met her now ex-husband I was a firecracker. I said whatever was on my mind. If I like someone I said it, if I didn’t I also said so. Then my mothers Ex-husband became my boogie man.

There was something about him I did not like. I told my mother this repeatedly. You think she listened to me? No! I remember sitting in the back seat behind him or behind my Mom, and when my Mother wasn’t looking he would always stare at me. At the time I didn’t know why he was staring at me, I only knew it made me feel really uncomfortable. At that time he wasn’t living with use. But little did I know he had a key to the house. So he would do little pop in visits.

As I got older he hung around more and more. I never told my Mom this, but I always used to sleep with a bra on; many times I would wake up and my bra would either be off completely, unhooked or half on. I always felt uneasy about that.

I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I never told her. Well.. I never told her because I know how my mother is about me; and the last thing I wanted to happen is my Mother going to jail on the count of doing something to him. Also I didn’t want to take the chance she wouldn’t believe me.

Through the years many things happened. I remember waking up with my arm on fire. I had no clue why my arm hurt so badly. Once I looked down I saw bite marks on my arm. These were deep bite marks that broke the skin.

I remember at the time I told her about it, she shrugged it off, saying I probably bit myself in my sleep. It could have been possible; but the teeth imprints were different from my own.

Well let me get back on subject. I know myself to be a free spirit, because I always want to do those things a normal person would not want to do. I believe I shied away from being this way because my spirit was broken down every step of the way. First by not having my father in my life. Then by having this man in my life who treated me like s***. This man in the largest way possible laid the foundation for what I came to except and expect from men as I grew up. Then when I got old enough to date I was introduced to a slew of frogs and toads.

I was indirectly made to believe I needed another half in order to be happy. But now that I’ve been in failed relationship after failed relationship, I see now there is NO need to be with someone if that someone isn’t your match. You’re better off being by yourself. Learn to love you and stop giving your love to those who DO NOT deserve it.

Enjoyed the blog? If so, make sure to Like, Comment & Share. I would love to see how or if hits home. Also this may help someone going through something. Letting them know there is always time to get it right.

As Always 

Photo Provided By: https://www.africa-press.com/nigeria/all-news/how-to-protect-your-child-from-child-abuse

Short stories

Not Ready

This video was something I felt I needed to do at the time, because I was really going through. I was with this man that I thought was going to end up being my husband. But his a** had other thoughts. See his problem was he believed I was going to be that girlfriend that was not going to be capable of thinking for herself.

I know now that what he got was not what he wanted. He wanted someone that was going to depend on him 100%. Let me tell you something; that is not me, never has been me & never will be me. If I want something I go and get it for myself. I’m not going to look to anyone else to take are of me. I guess that’s just the way I’m made.

But let me tell you… I thought this was a bad thing at first, because I always heard “A real man wants to be needed and a woman shouldn’t be too independent.” I later found out that only applies to man who’s not secure in himself.

I mean really, what’s wrong with a woman wanting to secure a bag for herself? Too many times woman have depending on their men to take care of them and have been left in the end to fend for themselves. I’m not saying every man is like this, but there’s a good amount of them who are.

Yeah, but I really just wanted to bring this video to your attention. Please excuse the long pauses. Not quite a YouTuber. Just figured I would speak from the hurt and let you all know some of what I’ve experienced.

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As Always

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · self-esteem · Thoughts

Trust You!

GOOOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!!!

 

 

As always, I hope all is well and you are following the road less traveled, but the one that you feel in your heart belongs to you. Like I’ve said may times before; “You aren’t living unless you’re living a life of freedom and remain to be uninhabited by your surroundings.

Too many times we have been stopped from doing things we really have wanted to do because we were listening to the opinions of others. Sometimes it’s good to listen to others, but sometimes it’s not.

Let Your Brain Take the Road Less Traveled - The Human FactorMy whole life has been dictated by others. Mainly because I was afraid to take accountability for the things I chose. Cause this way I could sometimes do what I wanted, because someone suggested it and not get blamed for the outcome. But the only thing with that is sometimes people choose what you would have chosen, then other times they don’t. When that happens you’re focused with making the decision whether you are going to do what they suggest, or are you going to follow your own mind and do what you want to do anyway?

That’s why I’ve learned to follow my own advise. Don’t misunderstand me, I still ask people their opinion; but I don’t fall for the peer pressure of doing something because someone told me too. 

It’s gonna be a struggle at first, but you’ll be so happy once you learn to trust yourself. Cause what happens when you finally start following your own mind is; you stop being a follower and become a leader. In becoming a leader you also unlock you mind and finally give yourself the permission to be you, unapologetically. That is when the true beauty of living comes in to play.

 

Question of the day:What is something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t because of the opinions of others?

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

 

Photo Provided By: thehumanfactor.biz

 

As Always 

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · relationship · self-esteem

A Woman’s Worth

Everyday women are put against each other. Constantly made to feel that we aren’t whole unless we have another half, preferably of the male persuasion. I just want to let you know in case anyone has never told you; you are the prize. Please don’t believe it’s the other way around.

So many women are plagued with the thought of feeling less than or inadequate because of the absence of a male. If he doesn’t want you that’s his problem not yours; stop making it so. There’s only so much you can do. One thing you should never do for sure is bend your back to be with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with you.

A Woman's Worth | Ashanti Holliday/title>

I understand both sexes go through the same things, but all I know is what I’ve lived and seen. It just feels like women a lot of the times get the short end of the stick (in the black community). So many of these women end up taking care of the men the choose to be with. Prime example: Many women in my family take care of the men they have or are with, and not just in the sense of cooking for them, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. No, these women do it all, from paying all the bills, to cleaning, taking care of the children, and some even taking care of mechanical things. Granted they didn’t do the physical work, but the did provide the money to fix the problem.

The sad thing is little girls from all over the world are taught to put a man on a pedestal; especially those who have grown up without a father. The thing that breaks my heart most is the women who haven’t experienced the love of a man will endure all most anything to experience it just once. Most women will go through hell and high water, because they haven’t realized their worth. 

What I want to say to girls like me who grew up without the love of your father or a father figure; “You will never get that man to love you like you love him until you can love you first, without him.” 

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated an supple? Go on over to Soapsbyshad.etsy.com
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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

Experiences · Short stories

Walk a mile in my Shoes

Good Morning!!!!

Did anything fun or exciting happen? If so I would love to hear about it. It’s been the same thing day in and day out for me. The only difference now is, “NOTHING!!” I’m happy to have the time to create, I just wish the circumstances were different.

See, if you didn’t know, I’m someone who is led by my emotions. Therefore, that isn’t a good thing for my productivity. As we know there are curve balls thrown at us everyday, and everyday you have to find a way to push past the things you don’t particularly care for. In a sense that’s a little harder for me.

As I’m sure if you’ve ever read my blog before, you know I live with my Ex. When we moved here he wasn’t my EX; somewhere down the line that changed. I truly believe the end to our relationship came because I decided I wasn’t gonna let him keep treating me like his daughter. I mean if we’re doing things grown folks do; where do you get off thinking you know so much more than me that you feel you need to treat me like a toddler? I am a grown woman!

Not sure if you’ve ever experienced this. I’m sure the men and women who’ve dated spouses older then them have.

NEWS FLASH: Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you know more then the next person.

That is a misconception most older people have; they believe because they’re older and have lived a little that they know enough to dictate yours. Everyone has their own path to take and decisions to make. At the end of the day you are still going to be accountable for whatever decisions you make, regardless if someone else made the decision for you. So you might as well listen to yourself 1st and every other opinion is just that, an opinion. Don’t constantly ask other peoples opinions on things because constantly taking their advise slowly chips away at who you are.

I say that because I’ve lived and experienced it; being so scared to do whatever you truly want because you don’t want to be judged or disliked by anybody. But you know what? If that person treats you different or stops talking to you after that, they never really cared for you in the first place. They only liked you because in a sense you made them feel valid.

Never feel you have to lower yourself to be on someone’s level. If you fee like that. you need some new friends.

Need soap? Want a soap that’s going to keep your skin hydrated an supple? Go on over to Soapsbyshad.etsy.com

&

If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

Experiences

Distance Learning Day 4

Distance learning: Online education classes for every age and ...Hey Yawl,

Hope you have found something constructive to do in this time. I can understand if you have or haven’t, because many of use aren’t use to sitting still for this long period of time; therefore we don’t know what to do.

Dislocated and Confused - Leap Services

Well, for me this was Day 4 of distant learning. Many of my students didn’t show up, but I was extremely happy to see the one’s who did. We said our “Hellos” and did a couple songs, tried helping a couple parents get online so they wouldn’t run into further problems logging on. I’m sure there’s going to be a time for all of us to learn more so we can better service the kids. I’m just happy to see them and have them see me. When they call my name in excitement because they’re seeing me for the first time in a long while, it makes my heart smile.

Working with these babies and others at a time made me want to have my own, but I’ve realized that isn’t the path I’m suppose to take. So for now I’m just going to be happy to be in these babies lives. Working with any and all kids is truly a blessing and a real pick me up.

I hope you all are staying safe out there and eating a lot better then me. I got a bag of Doritos I’m about to buss down right now.

Love you all, and I hope you have a beautiful productive day.

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