I gave you what you asked for but it wasn’t what you wanted, let alone what you needed. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have been with you. I would have realized that life with you was just to good to be true.
Now here we are 5 yrs in and I’m wishing I never met you. I swear sometimes you’re crazy; or is that what you want me to believe? You said you wanted someone that would be true to you, someone who would never lie. I gave you that and much more, but it feels because of my honest nature you’re taking advantage of that. I can’t deal. There are so many things that you’ve done already that has got me reconsidering a life long partnership with you.
I know that with you I’m going to have to give up my dreams and that is just not an option. Never has been never will be. And if you really want to be with me that is the way it is going to be point blank period. I’m tired of feeling like I’m your child when I’m suppose to be your woman. If you want a child, you need to take care of the one you have. Go tell them what to do because this a grown ass woman over here! Who needs no supervision.
Even though I say this, I know that you’re going to continue to act the way you act because you can’t get passed the women who hurt you in the past. And I just will not let that be my cross to bare. Some other woman who is willing to deal with you and your crazy reasoning is going to have to endure your constant accusations and silent treatment, because it won’t be me! I’ve got to many places I want to go, to many experiences I want to have and to much money to make to be sitting here letting you drag me down with you.
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do but go through it.
I’m sure you’ve heard something like this before or something similar to it. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this. Why is it people are so quick to tell you, “Just go through it so you can get to the other side?”….
I’ve come to realize people tell you this because that’s what other people have told them or it’s all they know. Sometimes you may have to go through some uncomfortable things in order to get to the other side. But, there is always another option. You could also do away with the whole situation and start anew. For example if you’re a woman or man who is in a relationship that is or has not served you in a long time, it’s time to go. I don’t care if you have 15 or 20 kids. What’s the point in staying in a relationship you’re not happy in? It’s not like the kids can’t see you all are not happy. Sometimes kids know before the parents do. So, do you really want them to go through life thinking; “I have to stay married to my husband/ wife because that’s what my parents did?” HELL NAH!! You would not wish that on anyone. So why would you allow yourself to go through life in a loveless relationship? Don’t say because of your kids or finances. Remember, the way you choose to live your life, does not have to be like anyone else’s. Know that if you’re happy, your children are going to be happy; and as far as finances; there are thousands of ways to step up your income.
Know that, the next time you want to invite yourself to a pity party; there is always away out of the darkness. The choice is and always will be yours. You owe it to yourself to live this life to it’s full capacity. Go all out! Be the person, mother/father, lover, friend, daughter/son, or sister/brother you see yourself being.
And….. Live life on your turns!
Also, I would to hear how you have or plan to get out of the rut you’re in. If share I will too.