Short stories · story telling

Hypnotically Beautiful-4

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“Ma, I cant help but feel a little scared.”

“Baby there’s no reason to fear. If you’re thinking this power is evil; it is anything but. This is your birth right.”

“But everyone says that magic is bad. They say; it’s one of the ways the Devil leads us astray.”

“I know. But that is only from people who don’t understand it and don’t know where it comes from. If you’re still uneasy…. Do you think our creator would give us this much power, if it wasn’t his will?”

“I don’t know. I would hope not.”

“Sadie, I understand this is a lot to take in; but it’s your destiny. The women in our family have been blessed with these gifts since the beginning of creation. And as far back as your Great Gran can remember, they’ve never used their ‘gifts’ for anything but good.”

“That’s nice to know. But what about my father’s side?”

“That… I’m not too sure of. But as far as I know, their past is pretty squeaky clean.

“Do you think it would be okay for me to meet him?”

“Yeah it’s okay with me. The only problem is; you can’t let anyone else know he’s your father.”

“Why not?!”

“Excuse me?…”

“Sorry Ma. I just don’t see the big deal.”

“Well because your father is a dark skinned black man. Once they see you, they’re going to believe your father had some kind of dealings with a white woman; and what that usually means to the white folk, is he raped her. So I hope you see how that could be a problem for other people to know he’s your father.”

“Ma answer me one question..”

“What’s that?”

“If we’re as powerful as you say; how come white folks got so much control over us?”

“Baby, I wish I could give you an answer that you could accept. But all I can say is; we’re a spiritual people and we don’t do harm to others because it’s not how we do things. We also operate from a place of love because hate consumes you and that eventually makes you hollow.”

“That’s it? I thought you were going to tell me some big, juicy secret.”

“No, it’s no secret.”

“Well clearly, something needs to change.”

“Do you really think our people have been here all this time and we haven’t tried to change things?”

“Ma, you just said, we’re a culture who operates peacefully.”

“That’s what I said, but that isn’t the only history we’ve had. There are plenty others who have come before you, who have tried to do what you’re talking about; all have failed. What happens is, they’re usually killed before they’re able to make any real change.”

“Why didn’t any of our people do anything to stop it?!”

“See baby, the way you look at the world is completely different from how someone like me looks at it. It’s my own fault for sheltering you. I wanted to keep you protected but not naïve… to the way things really work.”

“And how is that Momma?”

“Baby all you need to know is; you’re black. Never lie to anyone about what you are; if you do, you stand the chance of getting hurt or possibly getting killed, because like I said whites don’t take too kindly to us….. Better yet, avoid the question all together, if you’re able.”

“It’s not far!”

“Baby, life’s not far. So what I need from you is your strength; you have to know the space you’re in could be invaded by whites at anytime. So I need you to be really agreeable and pleasant, because I need my baby to come home.” Sadie’s mom began to cry, at the thought of something possibly happening to her.

“Ma, I’m right here. Why are you crying?” Sadie looked at her mother, full of confusion.

“Baby, I’ve done the best I can. I just hope my best was good enough. There are some things I should have taught you; but didn’t, because I thought I could keep you away from the bad people.”

“Ma, you had to know you weren’t going to be able to protect me forever.”

“Just because I knew, doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.”

“Besides, why are you getting all emotional, now?”

“You want to go and see your father; don’t you?”

“Yeah… But what does one have to do with the other?”

“Well, let me put it to you like this; your father lives in the whitest state imaginable; where they tote guns, chewy tobacco, and have people who look like me and your father as slaves.”

“Is Daddy a slave?”

“Uhhh…. Yeah baby, he is.”

Sadie’s heart sunk at the thought. Even though she never met the man, it still pained her to know one of the two people who created her, was being held somewhere against his will and made to do things that were unimaginable to most. “Did you try to at least help him become free?!”

“Little girl, I don’t know who you yelling at, but you need to remember who you’re talking to.”

“Momma I can’t believe you really left him there to fend for himself.”

“It was his idea.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t he want to be free too?”

“Of course. But he was more concerned with me and you being free…” Sadie didn’t see the picture her mother was trying to paint. Partly because she had never known real struggle or discomfort in her whole 17 years on this earth; so her mother continued. “I’m sure you probably think leaving the plantation was as simple as walking off the property. I’m gonna let you know now; it was nothing like that. If you even thought about leaving, they had ways to make you reconsider.”

“What could they have done so terrible that would make a man sacrifice never seeing his family again?”

Her mother really didn’t want to say all the terrible things that were done to slaves who tried to run away in the past; but she figured by knowing the truth it would also help Sadie to realize the importance of doing things the ‘right way”.

“Baby, I never wanted you to know about me and your father’s life before you were born; but here it goes….

The reason your father isn’t here, is because he had to be the bait.”

“What do you mean?… Are you saying you purposely left him so you could get away?”

“Believe me, I didn’t want to, but I had too. There was no other way.”

“What do you mean; ‘There was no other way’?.. I can think of a couple.”

“Little girl, I already told you to simmer down. Next time I tell you, I’ma be whooping that a**!

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Live full of purpose, and your heart full of love, always!

health · Thoughts

My Journey To Get Fit

Day 10

Going to the gym has started to become something I love. I’ve always liked working out and seeing the result of the effort I put into my body. But there’s something different that happens when you have a work out partner. As I stated before my mother is my work out partner, truth be told we both needed this. I’m just happy that we’re doing it. The way that I feel when I finish working out is exhilarating!

blowThere’s no other feeling like it. But there are some that come close, one for example is eliminating processed foods and meats out of your diet. I can’t say that I’ve done it yet, but that is the next thing I’m going to work own, because I want to be a vegan by the time I hit 40. I have about 4 more years before that happens, so I gotta get crackin. Although I’m not a vegan now, I have been before. To be completely honest it was the best I’ve ever felt. I had abundant amounts of energy, my eye sight was clear than it’s ever been, I felt happy and optimistic all the time. It was a feeling I didn’t want to come down from, but had too. Reason being, my body wasn’t having it. I had gone 2 solid months eating only the things I prepared. Thinking that I was doing something good, I soon realized that my body couldn’t keep up because of how rapidly I changed my diet. Two months in and I’m feeling the best I’ve ever felt, then one night I start to have pains in my upper right abdomen. I had no idea what was going on. Naturally I thought  the pain would pass, but it didn’t. It increased. Even though I felt pain, I did nothing about it. I went to work as usually and the next night I told my mom that I would go to the hospital the next day if it didn’t pass. Then that next day, the pain had not left so my mom took me to the hospital. I got X-Rays done and it came back that I had a gallstone lagged in my small intestine, that would not pass. I had been dealing with that pain for three days before I decided to something about it.

Long story short, I’m okay, as you can see, I didn’t die. I thank God I didn’t. But, that is something you constantly here every time your doing something that isn’t wide received, like giving up animal products and going vegan for your health, the health of the world and animals. When that happened to me, people in my family believe it happened because I stopped eating meat. I think it happened because my body was so use to me giving it trash to digest, that when it was forced to reprogram itself and get use to digesting that are good for me, it freaked out, and as a result of that my gallbladder was removed. Did it have to be removed? I don’t believe so, because the gallstone had already passed by the time I was scheduled to have surgery. Once I became a patient, the doctors made me believe that getting rid of it was the only way I could guarantee something like this wouldn’t happen again. They didn’t tell me my diet was the cause of my poor health.underconstruction

So naturally when I got out of the hospital I was hungry, because from that Saturday til Tuesday I hadn’t eaten anything for fear of the gallstone not passing and them possibly having to do emergency surgery because my intestine burst. My diet was nothing but liquids, that was no fun. So, once I got out I started eating meat again because it was the easiest thing to get too, after all 99% of all fast food and dine in restaurants glorify their meat dishes before they would ever glorify a veggie dish. I don’t know why. But, I’m guessing it’s because meat lasts a whole lot longer than any fruit or vegetable, and that’s the American way, right?

Even though I fell of the vegan wagon, I plan to get back on it real soon. After all, I am way to sensitive to eat a once living being. Also, the health effects of going vegan or tremendous!! Its the gift that keeps on giving.

If you’ve had struggles with getting or staying healthy please feel free to leave a comment.

Have a Beautiful Day!

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Race · story telling · Thoughts

Unconditional Love

imitation-of-life I was thinking of a movie I grew up with, ‘Imitation of Life’. That movie made me cry every time I saw it. If you haven’t seen it, it was a story about two women raising their children. The white mother had a daughter with blonde hair and blue eyes and the black mother had a daughter that had brown hair and brown eyes. But if you didn’t know her mother was black you would think she was white. The sadness starts when it becomes clear Sara Jane (the daughter of Annie) hates the fact she has a black mother. Truth be told the movie was really focused on Sara Jane and Annie. It focused on the resistance Sara Jane had towards being classified as black. Every chance she got she rejected her true identity, which was being a black woman that looked white.

That’s one reason why I don’t think of people as a color because genes determine what we look like. A black woman could have a child with light eyes or straight hair. It all depends on the genes. That’s why I didn’t and still don’t understand why race is such a big issue. Everyone’s the same, we just look different. But I have to say, I do understand why it became such a big issue back then. People made it that way. From then to now we’re having the same issues and it all boils down to power and acceptance. That’s why  Sara Jane struggled with her identity and why so many others lived a life similar to the one she tried to live. All because of acceptance and not wanting to go through what darker skin blacks had to endure i.e. the one’s that couldn’t pass.imitation-of-life-still-02_758_426_81_s_c1

The relationship between Annie and Sara Jane took me for a ride. There was never a time Sara Jane looked happy around her mother. Even though Annie was the best all around, Sara Jane was never happy. I’m sure it had plenty to do with her thoughts about the limitations that would be placed on her because of her classification. Time after time she ran away, lied, and denied her identity.  But there came a time when she lost what really meant most to her. That thing wasn’t really a thing at all. It was the person that loved her more than anyone else in this world, her mother. It wasn’t until then, she realized the era of her ways, but by then it was too late. Her mother was gone and she lost the chance to be the type of daughter her mother deserved. sarah-jane1


I guess you could say I chose to write about this movie because it seems like we’re reverting back to the way this country use to be. A lot of people think that it’s a good thing. I’m sure it’s not everyone but the number of people with this backwards thinking is growing. Like it or not, we all came from the same place. We maybe different but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t connected. So if your the type of person that believes someone isn’t on your level because of their race; I’m sorry to inform you honey, the only difference between you and them is the amount of melanin in your skin. But underneath, you both are the same. So learn to love your brothers and sisters because like I said, we’re all connected. There’s no need to hate or spread chaos and dismay because you want to remain in power or for the sake of ignorance. My answer to curing ignorance, is to expand your mind and open your heart to people that don’t look like you. You never know how knowing them may bless your life.

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