Short stories

Question?

Good Morning !!!!

As always I hope everyone is doing well. I’ma tell you one thing; I feel so much better then I’ve been feeling in the last couple of weeks! I guess you could say my body and mind needed the rest. I feel a little guilty saying that, because we’ve only been back in school for about 3 months. I shouldn’t feel bad about saying that though. I’m sure there are a lot of  people just as grateful for this break as I am. There’s probably teachers out there already planning their Summer vacation.

Well… Like I told you all before there’re going to be some things I’m going to be working on bringing to life. First I need your input.

First is:

Which play should I work on producing first?

  • Desire- A tale of  a very gullible girl, who falls in love with someone who appears will never love her back. Not realizing everything she thought she knew was a lie and sh*t was gonna hit the fan a lot sooner than she ever expected.

Or

  • Loyalty: Love, Lies & Betrayal- My first self published book. A tale of  a homosexual couple who has problems just like anyone else. Centered around Jacoby who is an owner of a multimillion dollar record company. But has failed to realize everything he has is due to his loving somewhat crazy husband Stacy. Things start taking a turn for the the worst when Stacy gets wind of just how giving and generous Jacoby has been and has continued to be to his female counter parts.

If you’re interested in either book, minimal entries to Desire can be found here on  ShadsShortStories.com or if you would like to read Loyalty: Love, Lies & Betrayal in its entirety grab a copy @Amazon.com/Loyalty Love Lies & Betrayal.

One more thing; if you’re looking for something to give that special lady in your life and not exactly sure what to get. Give  her a basket of Lulu’s Lavish Lathers. Soap that caters to you!

As Always 

Short stories

FEAR of being GREAT

Good Morning!!!

 

I hope everyone is having a marvelous Sunday!

 

Today’s post is about falling and learning the failure  isn’t in falling. The failure is in not getting back up. I’m sure a lot of you have heard that saying over and over again. Let me put a spin on it. Brake it down so that it will mean more and hit you deeper. 

We all have something or another we want to accomplish in life. Some of us go through life and don’t even scratch the surface of our greatest potential. Do you know why that is?….

FEAR

We may try to say something else is the reason for us not being great, but in actuality fear is the poison that seems to paralyze us all when that time comes to let others know what we’re really capable of. There’s No denying fear has been a large part of how I’ve lived life up to this point. There’ve been many things I have wanted to do but have not, because of fear. Fear of what you may ask; To be honest I really don’t know, but it’s fear just the same.

So what I ask of you and I will practice this too. Work on seeing yourself as more than just your physical presence. Work on looking deep with in yourself. Take the time to get to know YOU. Once you carve out the time to truly get to know who you are, no one can tell you anything about YOU that’s gonna  shake your spirit.  

There is always gonna be a person or thing that will try to block you from getting to know yourself. You’re gonna have to be strong and not put so much of your focus on the outside world. When everything’s all said and done you’re going to have to make sure you’re whole all by yourself. 

The best thing is always work on yourself first before trying to add someone else to the chaos that is YOU. Most of us learn this late in life. I don’t believe this is the fault of our parents, because we’re gonna do what we want to do anyway. I feel it’s because many of us are so in a rush to run before we walk, we stumble and fall before we ever take our first step.

However you choose to get to know yourself is completely fine. There is NO right or wrong way. Remember to throw the judgement out the window when it comes to the process. You may not realize it, but sometimes scrutiny or judgement can spark fear. 

That’s why it’s best when going through this process to not inform anyone of how you’re healing until the process is complete; and that is only if you choose too. It’s no ones business but your own of your healing process.

Below are some ways I’ve found that work in helping you become WHOLE:

  • Prayer
  • Therapy
  • Meditation
  • Practice Gratitude
  • Do more of what you love
  • Spend quality time with yourself
  • Challenge yourself to do something you wouldn’t typically do.
  • Live in the moment
  • Have FUN

 

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As Always 

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Short stories

I AM

Good Morning!!!!

 

Hope you’re having a wonderful Wednesday!

 

I practice a mindset of gratitude and focusing on the future. This is what makes me happy. How I see myself and my reality are 2 different things. In my inner world I Am very aware, but I also get things done. I AM a successful writer, movie producer/ director, an owner of a lucrative business and so much more!!!!

My outer reality reflects something completely different. On the outside I’m a very meek quiet, agreeable, insecure, anxiety ridden, borderline awkward person. I take care of children for a living. Something I never wanted to get back into. It’s nothing against the children, I love all of them deeply. I just rather be in a lifestyle that will allow me to do things on my own terms.

That’s why I’ve decided I AM going to be working for myself before the end of this school year. This is something I’ve always wanted to, but I constantly find myself procrastinating and not getting anything done. So… what is going to happen in the months to come; Promoting, writing, events, & constant advertising. 

I guess you could say I’ve allowed things from my past to hold me back from becoming successful. Something NO ONE should allow their past to do. I’ve learned even when you think it’s next to impossible, think of that person who has accomplished it and know they were once in your shoes. The truth is; it isn’t impossible, but it becomes impossible because of your mindset. Once you change your mindset that’s when everything changes.

So inclosing. If you have something you’re passionate about and that is the only thing you want to do, go for it! If not, you’re going to forever feel like something is missing. Know that the struggle to get there is only temporary, but the rewards are endless!!

The struggle is Temporary but the Rewards are endless!!!

 

Never stop chasing your dreams….

 

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As Always 

 

Short stories

Do what you want always.

This sounds simple enough, right?… Well, this is a simple statement but is only obtainable when you’re completely comfortable with who you are. I believe this is so hard for a lot of us because many of us have become shells of ourselves.

Too often we let the outside world influence what we do and how we move through out the world. When in reality the only person on this earth you need to answer to is yourself. Life was meant to be lived and experienced fully. But what tends to happen is we get side tracked because life is happening to us and not the other way around.

I believe that’s why I admire the people who live life to the fullest, because they don’t allow outside influences to take them off their path. Even though life throws them lemons they still find a way to make lemonade.

At the current moment I’m working on adopting this trait. I mean really, what is better than moving through the world freely, uninhibited and living life on a whim? I truly believe I reached this consciences because the first half of my life was nothing to write about. But this second half is going to be another genre.

Regardless of what others say or are going to say about my choices I have to live for me. As so many other people have to live for themselves’. Too often we allow others power over us when they did nothing worthy of obtaining that occupation.

I guess that’s another reason why I don’t care for a 9 to 5. If I had my choice I most definitely would be moving through the folds of life. Not unemployed, but earning money on my own terms.

What is a Kumiho From Lovecraft Country? Jamie Chung's Character Is a  Mythical Korean FoxFor as long as I can remember I’ve always stood out even when I didn’t want too. In many ways I felt and still feel like Jamie Chung’s character in Lovecraft Country (Ji-ah). Aside from the killing and snatching souls (lol).

It’s a good thing to be different. But the world likes to make you think different isn’t good. I especially find this to be true when you aren’t living the role you were supposed to play. So many of us are unhappy because we have been taught only how to survive. Surviving helps you get through life, but it doesn’t help you LIVE IT!!

That’s where we go wrong. We’re too focused on making it through and not taking it upon ourselves to explore. It’s okay if you get it wrong. The lesson comes by applying what you’ve learned.

Don’t you want to feel ALIVE?! 

I know I do. That’s one of the main reasons I read so many self help books. I know reading may help me come up with how I want to go about living. But it’s up to me to put what I’ve learned and continue to learn in motion.

Change begins at the end of your Comfort Zone

So… are you living the life of your dreams? Or Are you merely existing?

As Always 

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Short stories

Layered like an Onion

What’s up Ya’ll!

Hope everything is going well….

You know how you start thinking of different things that you’ve been through, through out your life? Well that was me the other day. I mean I always think of the different things I’ve been through. Thing is I just don’t understand how I kept my cool through out so many different times. I remember I was working out at the gym I had a person I thought was a friend. She was with a friend of hers. I said ‘Hi” and they proceeded to walk past me. Next thing you know I feel something wet on my back.

I was pissed but didn’t do anything about it because I was so concerned with others seeing me act out of character. Ask me why, I still don’t know till this day. Or the time I got used repeatedly by the same guy. At the time I thought that was the way it was. He would leave come back, leave come back. And I would be there to receive him every time. It was my warped perception of what I thought love was.

At the time I didn’t know what Love looked like between a man and woman, so I want by the examples around me. The sad part was every example there was always heartache and pain. There was never any couple that was happy more then 50% of the time. There were always problems coming about.

But to make a long story short, I’ve realized there is much that I have to talk about. I thought there was nothing I had to offer. But when I begin to think about it, there’s plenty. My only problem is I don’t let many people into my most intimate circle. It’s hard for me to let others see me in the raw. I’m so used to putting up a vail that many times I put up one on myself.

It wasn’t until I spoke to my potential “Dom” that I realized I don’t let that may people see the person I truly am. He pointed it out to me the other day. I just thought it was crazy he knew me on a way deeper level then most people know me.

It’s something about trust someone sexual that will allow you to bare all your layers. I say that because many of my ex’s know me way better than most of my family and friends. I’ve gotten a little better with opening up, but I still have a ways to go. As I’ve said before I do this because I don’t want to taint the image most people have of me. But when it gets down to the meat and potatoes of who I am; I’m a very complex being. Hell, I’ll still figuring my own self out.

One thing’s for sure, with every blog it helps me take a step in the right direction.

If you’ve enjoyed this blog please make sure to LIKE, COMMENT, & SHARE!!!!

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Short stories

The Unknown

What’s up ya’ll?!

 

Back again with another post. Never know what I’m gonna talk about until I start writing about it. I guess I really just want it to be genuine. I understand other people would say that means I’m unprepared. but I think my realness is a plus never a negative.

The other thing, I don’t like to write a blog unless it’s something I feel strongly about or interested in. For example; recently I started having interest in astrology and numerology. Mind you, I never really cared about that type of stuff before. But for what ever reason it’s peaking my interest now. Well to make a long story short, I found out a lot of interesting things about myself. It was crazy because it was spot on!

I found out things like my Moon Sign, Ascending Sign, Life Path, and I’m still learning about other things like the houses and about Indigos, Star Seeds, Blue Rays and I believe the last one is Crystal Children. I for the most part believe things like these can be real. I just don’t have the solid proof to know it for sure and that is why I’m on the fence about it.

When you dive deep these things start to make sense. The only way I see this as not making sense to someone is if that person believed only in this physical world we can see smell and touch everything. Your consciousness begins to open and except these ideals when you realize there are other things out there you do not know anything about.

Think about this; there is a whole 65% of the world we know nothing about; 65%!!!  For all we know there could be other civilizations out there. There could be millions of species we’ve never  laid eyes on, people or animals with abilities we could never imagine.

This is a strong reason why I tell people to keep an open mind; because things aren’t always the way you think. I hate to be the wierdo, but I believe there are things the government and other officials know of they don’t want the general public to know anything about. So they make sure to give us just enough for us not to question what’s really going on.

That may be another reason why I don’t like the News. I don’t believe half of what they’re saying. I just think they tell you what they want to tell you; and it’s never objective. Many times if you listen carefully you can hear the judgement in they way the story is delivered.

I’ve always heard growing up; “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” That statement is very accurate. You have to keep in mind, they really do this!!! People in the Media have been trained on how to flip a story and spin it in the way they want it to be perceived. 

I could keep going but I am going to end it here.

For those of you just a little curious, these are my signs and Life Path.

  • Sun Sign: Virgo
  • Moon Sign: Cancer
  • Ascending Sign: Virgo

Life Path:

Celebs who are on Life Path 5 

  • Stephan Spielberg
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Beyoncé Knowles
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Uma Thurman
  • Sir Isaac Newton
  • Malcom X
  • Tina Turner
  • Michael J. Fox
  • Ryan Gosling
  • Mick Jagger
  • Vincent Van Gogh

Also if you’re interested in learning how to find out your life path number, all you have to do is add your birthday numbers together.

Example: 10/20/1967= 1+0+2+0+1+9+6+7=26 

                                                                     2+6=8

The Life Path # is: 8

Well that is going to be all for today. But I’m going to continue to learn about numerology and astrology because I believe it helps me to figure out the true person I am. Just to add to that, there are people who have known me for years and still don’t really know me because I’m still not sure who I am. I guess you could say I’m on a path of self discovery. One thing’s for sure, I’m gonna have a damn good time getting to know me!

Enjoyed this blog? If so please make sure to LIKE, COMMENT & SHARE. Every LIKE, COMMENT & SHARE is extremely appreciated. You’re helping me to grow and I hope I’m helping you in the process. 

 

Need a soap that’s all that and then some? Come checkout Lulus Lavish Lathers. That’s Luluslavishlathers.com. Come try a soap that is perfect for moisture retention. Many of these products have therapeutic essential oils. So they not only smell Lavish, they also are great for your overall being.

Take Advantage of FREE SHIPPING for purchases over $50. 

As Always

 

Short stories

Agoraphobia-Extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places.

Good Morning!!!

So much has changed!!! I have so much love around me and so many people to talk too. Something I didn’t have before. Well let me rephrase that, I am able to receive the love this go around. Before I felt it was too much and needed to get away. It’s not that I didn’t want the love; Really, who doesn’t want love? I just wanted that love from a man so bad that I hadn’t realized I would except anything to be with one. That is besides the point though.

Agoraphobia | Biological disorders | Psychiatry Journal

What I had in mind today are introverts; something I happen to be. The introvert thing is okay though. I’m okay with spending time alone. My main problem is receiving and being comfortable around other people. I hadn’t even thought about this for the past few months because I haven’t had to be around anyone I haven’t wanted to be around. So naturally the fear or shall I say the anxiety that comes with being around others is starting to rise.

That’s because moving back home has been like having an open nerve ending. I say that because my Mother is a very sociable person and I am not. For me being around more than 2 or 3 people is a recipe for anxiety and discomfort. I’ve always been this way. I do better in a one on one setting. I’ve tried to be that person that goes to clubs, parties and things like that; I’m just not set up that way. My anxiety is way to bad for me to be around a lot of people for an extended amount of time.

That’s why I can understand how we have people who never leave their house. Yes some of these people live in the most horrendous living conditions, but their comfortable. I’m sure some people never put in thought when it comes to seeing people like this and thinking about their back story and why they are the way they are. Well for someone like me who could have easily been a person like that; let me say that it is a struggle to get up and be around groups of people for an extended period of time. That is do largely to my tendency to over think and also because I’m extremely empathic.

So I guess what I’m is; If you have someone around you that is extremely sensitive and recluse, try to encourage them, rather than making them feel weird because they are extremely sensitive or anxiety ridden. Just to make it clear as to how it feels going around large groups of people; It’s like being in the ocean, you see the shark coming for you. You try to get away but you’re stuck in a state of shock. It’s like your mind is working overtime but your body just won’t move.

Enjoyed this Blog? Make sure to SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!!!! You never know who in your life maybe going through this type of thing daily.

This will let them know they’re not alone.

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As Always

 

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Short stories

Nice Guys Finish Last

Sometimes or they act like they don't understand and you're the bad guy when you treat them like they treated you all along. It was no big deal while they were doing it (because "that's just how they are" or "they were just trying to make so and so happy"), but you're just mean when give them they same treatment that they have given you the entire time you've known them!

Good Afternoon !

Have you ever just wondered why, “Nice guys finish last”?

That is something I was just speaking about with my Dad. Never understood why the people who treat you wrong get the upmost respect and then those who actually value you get treated like something on the bottom of your shoe.

Just something I’ve always thought  of that never really made any sense to me… That is until I realized we treat those we want approval from with more care than the ones we know we already have their love and approval. It’s like I already know you’re gonna love me regardless, so I don’t have to put to much effort into pleasing you. It’s something many of us do unconsciously. Many of us don’t want to make anyone feel not appreciated, but sometimes you do. It’s a common human flaw.

If you believe this to be true, please make sure to like follow and leave a comment whether you believe it is or isn’t true and Why?

Enjoyed the post? If so make sure to SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!!!!

Need a soap that is all that and then some? Come checkout Lulus Lavish Lathers. That’s Luluslavishlathers.com. Come try a soap that is perfect for moisture retention. Many of these products have therapeutic essential oils. So they not only smell Lavish, they also are great for your overall being.

Take Advantage of FREE SHIPPING for purchases over $50. 

Photos Provided By: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/485474034803065471/,

Short stories

Figuring it out

Good Evening

 

I know this is a little different. I’m so used to writing posts in the morning that it seems a little foreign for me to be writing one right now, but I had to do it.

As always I have a lot on my mind. As you should already know, I’ve moved out of my one bedroom one bath apartment, about 2 weeks ago. I didn’t occupy it alone, I was living with my now ex-boyfriend. Some people may have considered it to be a little messed up the way I left that situation, but I don’t because the way he got me to agree to be on the lease was messed up.

I just say; if you’re not able to pay anything on your own do not agree to share anything with someone you think you are not able to trust totally. Right now I’m in a situation I had no idea I was going to be in. I thought once I moved out and returned the keys that I was in the clear. But now I find out that I’m on the hook for paying for any kinds of damage he may have caused or is causing in that space we both once shared. Like I stated before; I moved out 2 weeks ago and he’s still there.  The thing that has me responsible is the fact that I was the primary for the signing of the lease. At the time I didn’t know what that meant. I learned over time that I am responsible for any and everything that happens with that apartment. Lesson learned! Ill never be doing that again with anyone other than my husband.

I guess sometimes you just have to experience things for yourself. I’ve done that! I’m just hoping this will not be a costly mistake on my part. I’m hoping that he will do the right thing and either move out or renew the lease with only him on it.

Why we could not share the same space any longer.

He ended up being something completely different than what I expected. When we first got together he made it seem as if he was the sweetest person in the world. Then his claws started to show 3yrs in. We had to end up moving, because of constant break-ins.

He told me to checkout a couple different apartment complexes. I finally found one I loved and want to move into. I didn’t know it at the time but he was milking me for what ever he could. When I look back I realized there was nothing I did not do that he asked. I spent so much money trying to make sure he was happy. In return he lost that appreciation he once had for me.

By the end of the 1st year of us living in our new apartment that we both signed for, he wasn’t talking to me. He made me feel as if it was a privilege for him to sign on for another year, At the time I thought it was just a rough patch, not thinking much of it. Then maybe 2 weeks after renewing the lease he pretty much called it quits.

By this time I was over the having to kiss his ass so he would talk to me. So I left it just as it was. I guess he thought he could keep talking to me like I didn’t matter and I would stay. I knew that day I had “NO” intention of spending another miserable year with his lame, boring, trifling ass!

So…. I just say if you are thinking about moving in with a girlfriend or boyfriend, please learn from me. Do not! Make sure you can obtain a space by yourself first.

 

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As Always

Short stories

Hi Possibilities! I’m here for it!

Good Morning Everyone!

I’m feeling pretty good today. There are so many things that are right with the world as there are so many things that are wrong with it. It all depends on your perception of the things around you. It’s so easy to see the negative when the positive is staring you straight in the face. I really never understood why that is. For that positive thing to stand out it has to be more positive than the negative is negative; if you understand where I’m coming from.

But other than positives and negatives, today is going to be the last day I’m going to be at my current residence. I have until the end of the month to move but I figured I would give the last week of peace to my roommate. For you who don’t know we started off in a relationship then the act he had been putting on the first couple of years became too much for him and that’s when he started showing his true colors. For a long time I thought I was over reacting when I had feelings of isolation and being smothered by his controlling ways. Then I got conformation from those around me that I was not crazy for thinking and feeling the way I did. They say what I so desperately did not want to admit; that he was controlling and not the right fit for me…..

I was going to say, ” I wish they would have said something sooner” but I understand why they did not; because they knew I wasn’t ready to hear it and as a result of that I would have possibly cut them out of my life. Then that act would have had me deeper entangled into his web of misery and control.

For the longest time I thought he was so controlling and judgmental because he wanted the best for me and because of the love he had toward me. Later I realized it was for his own peace of mind. See; he had been cheated on serval times and as a result he became paranoid and believed I would do the same. So going in I didn’t realize his foundation was tainted by all those past experiences he had with other women. See it didn’t matter how transparent I was through out, because in the end he accused me of cheating anyway.

So inconclusion I just want to say to the women and men in relationships you have to constantly prove your loyalty; you might as well quit while you’re ahead. I may be wrong but once a person comes into any kind of relationship not trusting the other person, people or thing they’ll never learn to let down their guard and let you in. It’s going to take a hard lesson to open their eyes. So don’t waste your time or energy repeatedly proving yourself to that person when you’ve done nothing wrong to begin with.

I really hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. As always I enjoy creating them for you. Please do me the favor of sharing this blog in hopes of helping it to grow. 

On Another note: Come try a soap that caters to you and your skins needs! Try LuLu’s Lavish Lathers a soap that not only cleans but provides your skin with the hydration and moisture it needs to remain or for some of you become smooth and silky to the touch.

As Always