Short stories · story telling

Figure me out

“Can you believe what Kevall asked me?”

“Nah. What?”

“He asked me to stop f***ing other people.”

Passion was over the whole conversation with Kevall. She loved him, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back to the way things were. She wasn’t satisfied then. During that time of being married and faithful, she felt she lost a little bit of herself.

Over the years since them decided to be polyamorous, she started to become more and more of the woman she felt she had always been. Which was something very beautiful in it self. She no longer felt unattractive or insecure because she had the chance to become that beautiful sexual butterfly she always believed herself to be.

By learning how many men and  women viewed her, she unlocked the deadbolt to her sexuality; more like burst that door off of the hinges. Now because life proved to be so good over the years; she wasn’t sure she was ready to turn back.

“So… what you gonna do?”

“I don’t know, girl.”

“Well, you know the only reason he wants you to stop now, is because he don’t want to look stupid to everyone else. Also I think by having Jaylen there the other night, it made things real to him.”

“Yeah, I think you right, girl. But I still don’t know what to do. I’m sure if I tell him ‘No’ he’s gonna get all up in his feelings.”

“You know it…. I hate to be the bearer of bad new; but he may even leave you. Are you ready for that?”

Passion wasn’t finished being a connoisseur of the many different flavors that were sexuality. So she wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to feel. On one hand, she didn’t want to loose him. On the other, she felt it was unfair for him to ask her to change once again, because of his ego.

“Shonda, I really don’t know… I never gave that a thought.”

“Are you still happy being his wife? Or are you more interested in becoming a THOT?”

“Damn! Why you got to say it like that?”

“I don’t mean anything by it. I’m just saying, know what you’re giving up before you decide to walk away from a 20+ year marriage.”

“Well, he’s definitely not going to get his answer today. I’m gonna take some time to think about it. Matter a fact… Girl what you doing this weekend?”

“Taking Brent to his father’s….. You know, he hasn’t seen him since we got divorced?”

“Are you serious?!”

Shonda was a divorcée, mother, and business woman; who took pride in everything she ever did. Things between her and her now ex-husband Ross, had gone sour because he couldn’t except her success. Mainly because she was taking nothing but W’s and he couldn’t catch a break. Sure he had a job, but because of the way he was raised, he felt it was the mans job to be the earner, protector, and provider. So naturally when roles switched, so did their feelings for each other.

“Yeah, girl. Unfortunately I am.”

“How long has it been? Because isn’t Brent; What?…  15 now.”

“Yep. But get this.. He saying I’m keeping him away from his son…. How?!”

“Well, are you?”

“For real? You really gonna ask me that?.. “You know I would never do that! My mother did that to my Dad. That’s why our relationship is strained till this day.”

“Shonda, please don’t get offended. It’s just, sometimes Baby Mother’s do things like that, because their trying to hurt their Baby’s Father just as bad as he hurt them.”

“Passion, there’s a big difference between being a Baby Momma and a WIFE. After all, I do have morals. No matter how mad I get, I would never do anything like that. Because, It wouldn’t be only hurting him it’ll be hurting my child.”

“Damn… Sorry. Didn’t mean to take it there. All I was trying to ask is; Do you wanna take a trip with me?”

“B**** where?! You know I’m down.”

“I’m thinking… South Africa?”

“Let me know when you ready.”

“Okay good! I’m gonna talk this over with Kevall tonight. Then I’ll call you with the details.”

“What made you wanna take this trip?”

“I just need to clear my head and possibly get some good pipe , before I make this decision.”

“Ha.. ha… ha.. Girl, you a mess!”

Make sure to Purchase My new book; Loyalty

empowering · motivational · Thoughts

Is It Enough?

Is faithfulness enough to keep a relationship going?

Well that’s something I find myself asking a lot these days. For a long time I thought loyalty and being faithful was everything. But now I’m starting to see that it isn’t. Although it’s a deal breaker for me, it doesn’t seem to be so for a lot of other people out there. It should. I’m a firm believer in, “Everyone deserves the right to have someone that is completely devoted to them”. Although so many men and some women like to believe we weren’t made to be pairs, I think we were. Take for example, when a woman gets pregnant, there’s only one egg and one sperm that come together to make a baby. There’s not billions of sperm and eggs working together in unison. Although there are billions of sperm fighting to get to the egg, it’s not the same scenario when it comes to the egg. There’s only one, and because there is only one egg there is only one sperm that can penetrate that egg for the chance to create life. That’s just one example of why I think everyone has another half, although some people may not believe in the other half theory, there are others that do. From my experience, most romantics believe in the other half theory. Then you have others that believe we were put here to experience life and procreate, just not with one designated person. Although that is a very free spirited way of looking at it, that’s not the way everyone views life and love.

Bad Relation

Secondly, Faithfulness and loyalty are great traits to have, but that can’t be the only thing you bring to the table. I wish that more women and men would make that a requirement when it comes to being in a relationship. There are a lot of people these days that feel open relationships are the way to go. For some people that may work. I actually could understand why someone would want to be in a open relationship. There’s a lot of good that could come from them if you think about it. But one thing’s for sure, if your a jealous person *Do Not*, I repeat *DO NOT* engage in an open relationship. Reason being, your feelings are going to get hurt. For those women and men who enter a open relationship believing that it’s all about having fun or you think you could change his or her mind because, “They’re just going through a faze.” I hate to break it to you, most likely it’s not a faze. That’s the way they’re choosing to live until they find someone they’re willing to change for. Other times that’s just who they are. The one thing you have to always keep in mind is, “Is this what I want or is it what they want?” Many people do things for the other person, not taking in to account their own feelings. I understand it might be a little hard to consider both of you all’s feelings. It’s important to remember, most monogamous relationships don’t serve both people at the same time. If yours does, you’re blessed.

abusive-relationship-JFW

But the thing I want to focus on is monogamy, because women and some men will deal with an unhealthy relationship just because the person has not cheated on them, or so they think. I know so many women that have been with men for years that do nothing for them, but stay with them because of faithfulness. I say, “If the love isn’t there and you’re miserable, Why stay?” That’s a question more people need to be asking their self. I would think it would be better to be alone then to be with someone you can’t enjoy life with. But I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that question, many people are not comfortable with the thought of being alone. Sometimes they aren’t comfortable with it because they don’t have the confidence it takes to be secure enough to stand alone. This could be because of a number of reasons. It could be, they have low self worth because of body image or being constantly degraded by someone they love dearly. The possibilities are endless. When that happens and you find yourself in either a negative head space or relationship, you need to distance yourself away from that person. If it’s negative thoughts then you need to be around people that are going to make you feel good about yourself. Also work on loving you for who you are, rather than what you think people want you to be.

bully

That’s what’s wrong with a lot of us today. We worrying more about what the next person is going to say about our relationship more than worrying about our own happiness. I feel that’s why a lot of us are in relationships with people we really don’t want to be with. Either because we don’t want the next person to have them, they have money, they have great business connections, fear of being alone and what others are going to say, fear of passing through too many men (that one’s for the women), or fear of failing. What ever the case, it all equates to fear of being judged by people on the outside looking in. What you need to keep in mind is, those people only get a glimpse of what your life is like with that person. They’re not in the relationship with you all. So there’s no way they could possibly tell you what is best for you, only you know that. So stop being afraid to live, love and enjoy life. Even if it’s not with the man or woman everyone expects or hopes you end up with. After all it is your life.deserve

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