Have you ever just wondered why, “Nice guys finish last”?
That is something I was just speaking about with my Dad. Never understood why the people who treat you wrong get the upmost respect and then those who actually value you get treated like something on the bottom of your shoe.
Just something I’ve always thought of that never really made any sense to me… That is until I realized we treat those we want approval from with more care than the ones we know we already have their love and approval. It’s like I already know you’re gonna love me regardless, so I don’t have to put to much effort into pleasing you. It’s something many of us do unconsciously. Many of us don’t want to make anyone feel not appreciated, but sometimes you do. It’s a common human flaw.
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This is going to be a very scary but very fun time in my life. The reason that is, is do to trying to figure out where I fit in, so to speak. There are things that I’ve done all through life because someone told me I would be good at this or that. But….. I believe now is the time for me to start trusting in what I know I can do and what I really want to do, with the life I’ve been given.
Most of my life I’ve provided service to others. And I have to say, I love helping others, but not in the ways I have in the past. I love learning a persons story; but the jobs I’ve had haven’t allowed me the space to really connect with others, in the way I would like.
Sometimes I don’t know what it is; but people love to come to me and tell me their story. I love hearing it, I can’t say I don’t. But I wonder how they know this. I think it’s because when they talk I listen to them actively. You know, ask them questions pertaining to their story. And for a lot of them I can tell talking to someone who really hears them and is interested in what they have to say, is a new experience for some of them. So when the chance to be heard arises, they take that opportunity to really connect; because unfortunately many of us do not take the time to really listen to one another. Some of us do, but many only listen to respond not to actually hear. That’s one of the saddest things; is to have someone pouring their heart out to you and you not hear them. I think this world would be a better place if we listen with open hearts and minds and less with the intent to always be right.
I don’t think many people know this; but all of our lives are tied to one another. Meaning, even someone you don’t know is tied to you, in ways you can’t imagine. Remember: Everything has a ripple effect. So what you do may affect someone in your neighborhood, city, state, country, or someone else’s neighborhood city, state, or country. We don’t always know how we may affect the next person we come into contact with. That’s why it’s always important to be open to changing someone’s life. You may not believe you have that type of power, but you would be surprised to know that something as simple as a smile could turn a person’s whole life around. You never know, because of your one act of kindness that person decided to live. Where as just moments before, they were willing and ready to take their own life.
We were told when we were kids that words were just words. But as we get older we’ve been proven time and time again how wrong we are. So, keep in mind words do hurt. The reason they hurt is because words can spark fear, courage, hate, love, and all other emotions. They can even spark change. Words are a very powerful instrument that has the power to change your life in ways you’ve never imagined. That’s why it is so important to be heard. Because with out being heard, words are just words.
I think there is a real problem with people who believe they can change or should change the way someone else lives. I never understood why some people think that because they think it should be that way, it should be that way for everyone. I get there are people out here that don’t like people who like those who like the same sex or like both sexes. There is nothing wrong with that, if you keep your opinion to yourself; unless asked. I’m sure a lot of us grew up believing being gay, bi-sexual, pan-sexual, transsexual, and transgender where wrong. But how can you tell someone else how to live their life? I understand that some parents don’t want their children to be any of those things, because they don’t want them to have a hard life or because they just think it’s not right; but friends family and people looking in it’s not your choice.
I was having a discussion with someone and he didn’t understand why I don’t have a problem with people who like the same sex or those who get top and bottom surgeries or those who consider themselves another sex. I tried explaining to him that everyone has a different way they look at the world and the people and things in it, and who are we to judge someone because of how they want to live and who they want to be with. We are not judge and jury. We are all on the same level. It’s not like God said to us their is a specific way I want you to live this life. I know a lot of people will disagree and say it says it in the Bible. It may, but that Bible was also written by man not by God himself. If you are someone that believes whole heartily in the words of the Bible, I am in no way trying to discredited your beliefs; I’m only stating a point, that man wrote it and everything is left to interpretation.
I really just want those boys and girls out there who are going through something because they are different, to know that God made you exactly the way he wanted you to be; there are no mistakes.
Have you ever thought of some of the things you’ve gone through in this life? How did it make you feel to experience some of the situations you’ve gone through? Would you change any of the choices you made? Also do you sometime ask yourself; ” Why me?”
I have asked myself those questions time and time again. When I was younger I didn’t understand why it was necessary for me to go through so many things that caused me pain. Every time something happened to me I always wondered: “What was the reason for the hurt?” As you may imagine I had a lot of talks with God. Thinking that there was a reason he was allowing so many bad things to happen to me. It felt like he was either allowing my heart to get broken over and over because he wanted me to learn something from those situations or it was my choices that were causing me to get hurt; either way it was God teaching me something.
It’s funny how you get older and things that use to hurt to think about, don’t bother you as much as they once did. I think the reason for that is the constant things we go through allows us to see things in a different light. For instance, if you had or have someone in your life that is or was treating you bad; you learn that sometimes people do cruel things because you’re everything they want to be, or they’re unhappy with themselves. So naturally because life isn’t working in their favor, they try their hardest to rain on your parade, because like they say; hurt people hurt people.
There are so many people in this world that have gone through unimaginable things; many times because of another person. But many times this person is hurting someone else because that is all they know. Other times people hurt other people to make themselves feel better, because life isn’t going so well for them. When you have someone that wants to see you hurt, learn not to take it personal because there is something in them that is very broken that needs to be mended before they can ever be happy for you. Some people will find the bad when there is only good. I understand, because for a long time I would do the same thing. Not so much with other people, but when it pertained to me.
I couldn’t tell you how much I’ve gone through. I’m sure it’s not as much as others, but I’ve gone through things just the same. And I feel God gives you tests so you can appreciated your reward(s) when he presents it to you.
Like I’ve heard so many times before: ” With great suffering, comes great reward.
You know how you want to write sometimes and you aren’t inspired to do so? That’s me right now. I wish I had something I wanted to talk about, but I’m not inspired by many things these days. The only thing that continues to inspire me is the hate that I have for a 9 to 5 job life. That’s one thing that I hate and have always hated, because I like to work on my own time. And you can’t do that when you’re employed by some company that decides when you come to work and when you are done and can leave. It’s like as long as you get paid for punching in and out of their clock, they own you.
If you think the way I do, this can lead to health problems; such as anxiety, high blood pressure, stress, and depression. Reason being, you know that you can do so much more with your time, but you have to work in order to pay your bills. That is the misfortune of being a dreamer. People who are dreamers/ entrepreneurs have so many ideas that go through their head in one day, that when it comes to working for an hourly wage it almost feels like you’re getting taking advantage of. You know why? Because thinkers/ dreamers/ entrepreneurs are over qualified for a lot of things. The only problem is, no one really knows what they’re truly qualified to do because their knowledge and thought process involves so many things. Also because most dreamers don’t get degrees in the things their most good at. They learn to pick up trades along the way.
So many of us have spent years on top of years in school, and by the time you graduate, that thing you got a degree in isn’t the thing you’re most passionate about. Little known fact, most people get degrees in high paying professions because it’s what they’ve been led to believe is the right thing to do. That is, if they want to guarantee they live a financially stable life. Although some people are okay with going to school for something the could care less about, there are some of us that can’t lie to ourselves.
Many millennials’ are finding ways around the 9 to 5, and I applaud them for that. At times it seems like it’s easier for someone born in the 90’s to get ahead. I understand that we all can get out here and put our own self on, but some times you don’t have that confidence to take it there. Another thing, if you’re someone who looks to others for validation it’s going to be extremely hard for you to get out there and start doing your own thing. I’m sure that’s what’s stopped me so many times, because I was looking for someone to validate me. Take a Q from me, that is not the way to go. If you want to be successful you have to go out and do what ever it is your heart desires, without the thought of someone disapproving. No matter how good you are, there’s always going to be someone telling you that you’re trash. That’s why you have to believe in yourself and your peers will follow.
For example, I had a customer, her and I were talking for a little while, and she mentioned she was on vacation. Then some how the conversation led to me talking about wanting to get a job online. When I said that, I realized it was something she couldn’t understand. She looked at me like I had three heads. At the time I didn’t understand why she was opposed to it. But soon I understood she couldn’t understand it because it wasn’t an avenue she was capable of taking when she was younger. So something like working from home to her seemed lazy and not a real job. But, I came to my own conclusion, what other people think about what I choose to do is no longer my concern. Truth be told, what they think isn’t going to further my financial freedom or pay my bills. So I have to do what is right for me and trust my own instinct and passion, as you should.
You only get this life once, while you’re in it, find a way to live it the best way you know how.
Am I the only one that believes the way some men handle their emotions needs to change? There is a stigma with men and not being able to express their self. I know plenty people think about men and the way their emotions are going to come out in the long run. But what about the wives and girlfriends of these men that keep their emotions bottled up? Speaking as someone that has been in this situation before, it’s not fun.
I understand it isn’t good for the man because it causes them to act out in other ways. For example: high blood pressure, depression, becoming abusive either verbally or physically, cheating, and the list grows. Men need to start expressing their self to people closest to them, so their family, friends or lover could know what’s going on with them. That is the hardest thing to deal with, having someone you want to share everything with and can’t because they have a wall up. There’s no way for that relationship to grow when you emotionally can’t be open with the person you supposedly love. So many things come from people not being able to express their self. I understand that it isn’t just men, but that’s who this post is directed towards.
A lot of these abusive relationships come from men that have been hurt and don’t know what to do with the pain. I’m sure a lot of us don’t think about that, but that’s what it is. There are so many things that could have played a role in the way a young man looks at the world and the people in it. I’ll give you a very real story that happened to someone close to me.
Jaylen was a little boy loving life. Living and enjoying being a little boy. Being that he was very young he hadn’t encountered anything or anyone who meant him harm. That was until his mother fell in love with a man she thought was the love of her life. This man seemed like the perfect gentlemen for the first couple of months to year. But what the mother didn’t know was this man was more interested in her son than he was in her. Months went by, the mother continued to be blindly in love. Signs of sexual abuse constantly got dropped in her lap, but she paid little to no attention to them, not wanting to face reality and thinking to highly of the man and not trusting in her baby. Also not realizing this once little bubbly, energetic, ball of joy, changed. Do to what’s been happening to him, he had become depressed, angry and didn’t trust anyone. But by the time the mother figured it out, it was too late. The pain and anger had already set in.
There are so many problems with this situation. For one, the mother saw the signs, but did nothing because she didn’t want to face reality. But the biggest problem was she didn’t offer her son anyway to heal from the pain. Most likely she didn’t know what to do to help him heal, she didn’t believe him, or she didn’t care. I’m sure many people are probably thinking “How could she not care that someone raped her little boy?!” or “How could she not believe him?!” It’s very possible.
But the problem is whatever the case was, you now have this very angry confused little boy who grows up to be this angry confused man. Who doesn’t know how to deal with his anger. So he goes out and hurts other people, because hurt people, hurt people. Or he suffers in silence because he feels so much pain that he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems. Or the one I think rings most true; He’s too embarrassed and uncomfortable to admit the nightmares he experienced as a child, because he may feel it makes him appear less of a man.
We have to work on making our men feel like men, especially when they were put in situations they didn’t have the power to change. Let them know what they went through is not who they are. It’s something they went through, and over came. Also be there for them when they’re ready to open up about things that’s bothering them in their past, present or future. They will love you even more for that. And remember when he tells you something critical, you don’t have the right to tease him about it or bring it up in an argument, no matter how mad you get. That’s going to cause him to shut down and go further into depression.
In conclusion, therapy works wonders. If you have a problem and need someone to talk to and you either have the money or the insurance to do so, go see a therapist. Let them help you work your life out. Even if you don’t have money or insurance find someone you trust and that’s willing to listen, and pour your heart out. You don’t realize it now, but getting all that bad energy out helps you move forward in life. Your spouse will be extremely happy you did. Never feel like you have to hold things back from your therapist because in the end, your only hurting yourself.
I was thinking of something today, and that was “Who’s healthier? A vegan or a carnivore”. I’m sure this is going to be completely off of personal preference, but it’s good to get the information out there. Me my self, I think vegans who eat the right type of diet for their body are in the best health. I’m sure there are gonna be a lot of you thinking, “Where do they get their protein?” Simple, they get it from vegetables. It’s a misconception we need meat in order to get adequate amounts of protein. Truth be told most of the meat we consume that’s suppose to provide us with protein, isn’t fully absorbed. Most of the protein from the meat is discarded. That’s why it’s best to go to the source, which is the plenty of foods that grow out of the ground.
On another note living here in America is a blessing and a curse. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the blessings that comes with living here and I also understand the misfortunes of living here. The blessings are obvious, running water, freedom of speech, free to be who you are, the endless amount of possibilities for either sex, having things readily prepared for you and so on and so on. But when it comes to the ways we’re misfortunate, I’m sure it will be looked at as a matter of opinion. Some of those ways are knowing how to grow your own food, growing up in nature, learning the world around you, and so on.
I’m choosing to look further into the way we’re misfortunate. Let’s look at ‘Not knowing how to grow our own food’. This one right here is a very important one to me. I don’t know the first thing about growing anything, but I plan to learn. While you can, I think you should too. I think it’s so important for us to know how to grow our own food and the reason why, is do to all the things that are put in our food before we get it. There are so many pesticides, splicing of genes and food made in laboratories that it makes you literally sick to really think about where your food comes from. There are so many things that are in the average American diet that a person from another country wouldn’t remotely consider food. The problem is we’ve grown up eating this stuff thinking we’re eating food when we’re really not. If you think about it, the average American diet includes at least 50% processed food. Reason being, the society we’re in wants everything in a hurry. Even when you decide to cook something for yourself or your family, your going to cut a couple of corners and get that premade sauce, margarine, or herbs, or what ever else you decide to cook with. And many times it doesn’t enter our mind what we’re eating. It’s like, we’re on autopilot when it comes what we consume.
That’s where we’re failing! We need to be more particular when it comes to what we put in and on our body. Have you ever taken the time to look up some of American food laws? Did you know, there’s a company by the name of Monsanto’s trying to have all rights to the seeds you get from the fruit and vegetables you eat? Reason being, they’re trying to make it impossible for people to grow their own food. That way they can continue to get paid for providing you with food that if you had the knowledge and time you would grow yourself. There’s so many things going on with food. Most of the things that are taking place with food are not going to be out there for you to stumble upon, your going to have to dig to really find out what’s going. Just know, the food that your grandparents and great-grandparents grew up on is nothing like the food we’re eating today. That’s why these girls and boys are developing so quickly. Also that may be another reason why sickness is increasing.
I’m still doing research own what these GMO foods do to the body. From what I’m learning the affects aren’t good. But if you want to learn more and get more references so you have some where to start from, you can refer back to a post a did about a year ago called The Health of a Nation. In that post I’m swaying more towards veganism there also, but there is information about what GMO’s are and also different movies and documentaries you could watch to get a clearer understand what GMO’s are and what they can do to the body. I hope this caused you to think about what your putting in your body. We really need to start thinking about this stuff if we want to live to see old age.
Below is a slide show of the way GMO’s affect the body and also how meat is prepared before it hits your grocery stores
I’m ready for life to change for me. I know things are not going to be the same, there’s no way they can be. I’m praying for big positive changes to come in to my life. I’m finally finding things I’m interested in that I want to do. This is a big turn around from the way I use to think. For me, life was just ample opportunity to have free time. That was before I started learning of ways to make money online. Truth is, I’m still learning. But it’s nice to know there are other ways to make money other than going to someone’s establishment making them money while your making peanuts.
I’ve realized the people that reap big benefits are the ones who take risks. That’s a lesson I’m learning more and more everyday, and it’s actually fun learning all the ways there is to make money without leaving your home. I’m still researching, but I promise once I find something that works, I will definitely let it be known. The one thing I’ve noticed about these online business’ is there’s a lot to learn if you want to go into business for yourself. It’s not as easy as a lot of online business owners like to make it seem in the beginning, if it is there’s a problem. With any business you have to study it first and get all your ducks in a row before selling. There are going to be countless hours invested learning about the business. Once that happens it may become a little easier because you’ve learned enough about it to want to learn more. Another thing to keep in mind is, the internet is constantly changing and improving. So that means you’re going to have to keep up with the changes of the market if you want to make sure your business is going to continue to do well. There’s no such thing as autopilot, at least not in my vocabulary, because there’s always ways to improve.
“Always remember, never let anyone dim your light because they don’t understand your shine”