empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts · Venting

100% Me

There are often times we are faced with things we wouldn’t have chosen to go through, if left up to us. There are so many things I’ve experienced during this life time. Many of them if I had to do over again…  I wouldn’t have done. There’s damn sure people I wouldn’t have given a chance if I knew how they truly were.

I try to take positivity from the different events; sometimes it seems impossible. Sometimes life has a way of making you feel like all you’re going to constantly receive are blows to the head.

In short, ever since the start of this year I’ve been feeling like there was a dark cloud over me; I can’t explain it. You may be thinking something had to happen for me to feel like this; ‘Nope’ nothing happened. One thing I can say, this year my kindness and go with the flow attitude have been tested more than they ever have before.

I’ve learned, you can’t go with the flow all the time; you’re going to eventually need to have an opinion about things. Having an opinion insures others know how you feel about certain things and it also gives you more control over your life. Verses not saying anything and going with the flow living a life that is full of unwanted surprises.

I feel I’m learning this fact a little late, but I’m so happy I’ve learned it at all. This way I will gain more control over my life and what I want to do with it. Rather than just go with the flow of everyone else’s opinion of what I should do.

For those of you who go with the flow because you don’t want to ruffle any feather; learn to speak your mind. People respect you more when you do. Especially for those of you who are dating; speaking your mind is essential. If you let the other person decide everything, eventually you become boring and bland.

A lot of people will admit this and others won’t; but a lot of men and women love a challenge. So… if you’re hoping to win that person over with passivity, it won’t work. What’s going to happen is, they’re going to be entertained with you for a moment, then they won’t.  They’ll be on the prowl once again, looking for that person that provides everything they didn’t know they were missing. If you don’t embody what they’re missing that is okay. Yawl weren’t the right fit.  

One thing to always remember; never change to be someone’s perfect. You’ll never win. The only thing you can do is be you; if they don’t like you being your 100% self, F**K’EM! Just because you didn’t find a life long partner in them doesn’t mean you’re not going to find your princess or princess. 

With relationships you have to be patient. So to find that ONE you’re going to have to trust the process and just enjoy life until they come.


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empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · story telling · Thoughts


Have you ever spent most of your life being someone’s other half?

If so, why did you feel it was important to be linked to someone in that romantic way?

Are you still with them?

Does always being in a relationship mean you’re codependent?

If given the situation, could you walk away from an unhealthy relationship that isn’t serving you, to take the time needed to better yourself?

Does being attached to someone make you feel complete?

If you’ve answered ‘YES’ to most of these questions, most likely you are a codependent. What that means is you need the attention and affection of others to feel at ease and that you belong. For a long time I was also a codependent. It wasn’t until I got a lot older and started researching the term when I found out it was not such a good thing. One thing I’ve leaned is, it’s always better to make sure you’re covered before you take care of anyone else. Always remember people are people and that no one is perfect. So if you’re with someone you love right now; you maybe even picture yourself getting married to them. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row just incase he or she does not feel the same way.

I understand it may be a depressing thought, but it’s real, and that is what life is. You can’t be blind to the possibility of things between you and them not working out. Like my Momma always told me, “You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket”. The sad thing is a lot of people know this saying, but choose to interpret it in a disloyal way; by cheating. Not having all your eggs in one basket doesn’t have to mean that, it could also be becoming a boss about this money game. Or having strong long lasting connections with others; so you don’t lose yourself if something like a breakup was to happen.

Long story short, people are people. It’s your responsibility to either learn from the situations or let the overwhelming emotions of disappointment and hurt take over. But you would do much better learning how to use those emotions to better you. Use those negative feelings as fuel. Also, keep in mind another person can not complete you. You have to have done that for yourself. Truth be told, when you have a strong sense of who you are, what you like or don’t like, and what you would deal with or wouldn’t deal with; it makes it easier to choose someone who reflects what you feel for yourself. So if you’re broken, more than likely the man or woman you choose is going to be broken. There are very rare occasions where a broken person marries or dates someone who’s confident in who they are; but many times it doesn’t last if that broken person doesn’t find a way to mend their brokenness.

Inconclusion, our relationships are mirrors; what you see or feel about yourself always seems to show in the type of person you date.

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Love yawl to pieces!!!

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