Short stories

Pressure

Good Morning

I try to write only when I have something to say. Many times I write based on the way I feel. So far that has gotten me no where. I write this way because it keeps what I have to say relatable, rather than me writing about things I know nothing about. I’m not sure if many people care for blogs like this, but I created this blog to help me through some of the issues I experience and continue to experience.

In many ways this blog has become my medicine. When I first started I thought I was going to be helping others. In actuality you all have been helping me. At first I was a little disappointed that people who read my posts left no response to nearly any of my posts. But the way I felt about that slowly began to change because I’ve learned to appreciate the likes and knowing that someone has read it.

Well let me get back to the reason I chose to write today. As I stated in blogs past I’ve decided to come back and live with my mother, because I can not afford to live by myself at the current moment. I guess you could say I’m a little bit of a hippy because I don’t feel like working is supposed to take up so much of your time. I’m sure I could have been living comfortably if I would have graduated college; but I chose a different route.

Many may think I regret not graduating. To be honest sometimes I do and other times I don’t. Mainly because of the opinions of others. Honestly I never cared about extending my education through a university or college; because I know I’m a person who loves to learn. So whether I went to college or not I knew I would always have an opportunity to learn different things, because I would make sure of it.

Well.. that wasn’t really wanted I wanted to talk about. I wanted to just say that living based on the opinions of others is a recipe for unhappiness. So I have decided that I’m gonna work on the things I find important and forget about other peoples opinions of what I should do. In real time I have focused too much on the opinions of others. I’m gonna get my life back! I have too. What’s the point of having a life if you don’t live it the way you see fit?

Thank you so much for reading!

Short stories

Sugar Coated S***

What’s up Everyone?

 

Like you, I have stressors in life. Work is one of them. That’s why I don’t love my job. I’ve been working with child for close to 10 years now. Like I always say I love working with the baby’s, it’s the adults I have a problem with. Working with adults becomes my problem because I always feel like a disagreement is going to turn into something more than a that. So I bite the bullet and just suffer in silence.

At first it didn’t get to me as much, but over time it is starting to really piss me off . I try to take the high road but people believe because I don’t disagree or have anything negative to say that I’m a dimwit. That is far from the truth honey. I keep my mouth closed and my feelings bottled up, because I know if I was to say what was really on my mind some feelings would be hurt. Instead of me hurting someone else’s feeling mine get hurt, because through all the pain I’ve learned not to let others see my pain unless I allow them too. 

Poop Shit GIF - Poop Shit Fail - Discover & Share GIFsOver the years I’ve gotten so good at not expressing myself that sometimes it’s hard too. That’s why I believe it’s high time for me to see someone regarding my mental health. My mother always wants me to tell her my problems. I’m sure you already know why that is a “No go”.

I really believe speaking to someone about the things I’ve experienced, and the thoughts and feelings I have is going to be a great change of pace. It might be the very thing I need. I know there’s a stigma behind talking to someone regarding your feelings and mental stability. But we all need to talk to someone every now and again. 

I have yet to experience it, but it feels good to know soon I’ll be in the company of someone who has a passion for listening and helping others with their problems. Too many times I’ve tried to talk to the people around me, and they’ve either cut me off to talk about something that interests them or they use everything I say as ammo or to benefit themselves. 

So this will be a really great change in pace. Maybe This will help with my anxiety, feelings of depression, my self image, and my possible ADHD. 

We all go through things. What counts is how you rise above every heart break, all the physical, mental, and emotional abuse and how you choose to live life after experiencing these things.  Don’t get it twisted even the strongest of us needs some counsel. So don’t believe speaking to someone makes you weak because it doesn’t.

If you enjoyed this blog, make sure to show some love by liking this post and following the blog. 

 

As Always 

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Experiences · Feelings · relationship · Thoughts · Venting

Confusion

Good Morning!!!

Hope life is going well and all things are prosperous.

You know how you meet someone and you believe only that person can give you that feeling? Well recently I met someone that is very attractive sexually. I’m sure when I say that most people would believe I mean visually. Nope that’s not what I’m talking about. You know how sometimes some people just have that aura about them that makes them seem like the best thing since sliced bread. Well, this man had that thing.

There were a lot of things I did not like about him, but there were also a lot of things that turned me on beyond belief! As I am not in the business of bashing anyone, I am only going to list the qualities I enjoyed; which are; his strength, arrogance, and dominance. I know I could probably find that find that in any men. But there was just something about this man that made him that much more appealing. I’m sure it was because he had a no holds barred attitude. If there was something he wanted to say or wanted, he did not hesitate to go after it.

I guess you could say, that’s something that was missing in my last relationship. Supposedly love was there, but I never felt it. I fooled myself in to believing it was there. But you know how sometimes you’re bored and you go through your text messages? Well, I did this recently. I started looking over the text messages between me and my Ex and realized, he checked out a long time ago. I was the one holding on for dear life.

Friends and family keep asking me why am I still continuing to live with this man. I answer straight and say; “I’m not ready to give up my independence.” See, once this lease is over and done with, I want to know I can take care of myself with out the assistance of any one. That’s why I’ve been working on trying to build a brand. That’s also the reason I’ve been trying to busy myself with meeting other people so that my situation with him does not take me over.

I’m positive there are other women and men who have been through this. If you have please let me know if you believe I’m getting through this in the right manner or should I have left yesterday.

As always