empowering · Feelings

Emotional Stagnation

Emotional Stagnation- Is when a person, people, or situation causes you to feel like you’re emotionally bound to remain the same.

F.Y.I: That definition is completely made up. But if this were or is a real combination of words, this would be my definition for it.

Have you ever had times when you felt like emotionally you were stuck doing the same thing because it was what others expected of you?

You realize you don’t have the freedom you crave, but you stay because it’s still better than what you have known all your life. If you’re not clear on what I mean, let me give you some examples:

Being with him is better than living with my mom and step dad. At least he takes care of me. Sure he may knock me around sometime. But I don’t have to worry about someone coming in my room in the middle of the night fondling me.


He’s a great provider. So what if he cheats. At least I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to lay my head at night.

These are just a few examples of the things we reduce ourselves down to, because we are so use to being treated as less than. That we start to think that is the type of treatment we deserve. But you have to know what ever you take at the beginning, is what you’re going to have to continue to take as long as you have any kind of relationship with them; including work relationships.

You have to teach people how to treat you. So if you feel some type of way about anything, you need to make it known, so people can start to respect your opinion.

Q: What happens when you never have an opinion about anything?

A: People start to label you as a pushover and loose respect for you. In the long run this makes working anywhere harder than what it has to, because you’re the person that will do what ever you’re told without any push back.

Now because of this heavier work load, you start to hate work and the people that are in positions that are over you; all because you were too fearful to open your mouth and let them know how you feel about the amount or kind of work you’ve been given. When in reality the only person you can blame is yourself, for not speaking up when you had the chance. I understand some of us don’t speak up because we’re afraid of loosing our job. But keep in mind, if they want to fire you, their going to fire you. Also know; That isn’t the only job on earth. You can get another job. It might not be easy, but it’s possible.

Inconclusion, always do what’s best for you. Even if a situation seems a lot better than your last, you can always place yourself in a better on. Do not stay emotionally stagnate when you know you can do better. Don’t do yourself the disservice of staying in a situation that isn’t serving you, when you know you are capable of more.

The sky is the Limit

Love you all, always.

Photos Provided By: https://www.livingmagazine.net/, https://www.mydomaine.com/emotional-health

empowering · Feelings · Informative · motivational · Thoughts · Venting


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Have you ever looked at your friends and thought about how and why you became friends in the first place? I seem to do that a lot. I’ve noticed the type of people I usually choose to hangout with have very strong personalities. They don’t take to much off of anyone. I finally figured out why I choose these type of people as friends; because they say the words sometime I feel I can’t. Many times I’m too worried about the consequence or hurting someone’s feelings. I know many people probably are thinking, “Why would you care about hurting someone else if they don’t care about hurting you?” I can’t even tell you. I’ve always been like this from the time I was a little girl til now; at the age of 36. You think somethings would change over time, but a lot has stayed the same especially with me.

By having these people with strong personalities as friends, I was hoping some of their ‘A’  type personality would rub off on me. But it has been countless years later and I’m still the same soft butterball I’ve always been. To be honest I have a real problem with putting other people before myself. I’ve realized, sometimes it doesn’t matter if I know the person or not; I will still go out the way to help them. I’m sure many would think that’s a good trait; but it’s not so good when you do it all the time. In the end I usually end up being the person without. I find that people are going to only do for you if you have a stable balance of respect or they want you to do something for them.

In the coming months asserting myself is something I’m going to work on. I’m sure it’s not going to be a cake walk, but I’m going to put in the work because I don’t wanna be everybody’s pushover anymore. For the people that have my type of personality; I’m sure you understand where I’m coming from. It’s almost like you feel paralyzed to do anything about some of the hurtful comments or experiences you’ve gone through or are still going through.

I was reading a book called, Disease to Please. In this book the author was explaining how adults become this way; she said it had a lot to do with learned behavior during childhood. It’s almost like you found a way to bend to other peoples will so you could in a sense survive. The problem with this learned behavior is, feeling like you have to continue to live your life this way. For most people pleasers like me, it’s hard to shack that survival tactic. It’s something easy to learn, but not something easy to unlearn. For years I haven’t allowed many people to get close to me, for fear of being hurt. It almost feels like I’m powerless to protect myself, but I’m learning to take that power back.  Once I had a friend of mine I use to work with tell me; ” You’re like a wave, because you can work with anyone.” I know she meant it as a compliment but I secretly took it as an insult, because to me that just says; I’m too afraid to be myself because I fear people won’t like me for who I really am.

The one great thing about all of this is I have some where to let these emotions out. I’m thankful for that, and the learning experiences I’m still going through at the current time, because in the end they’re going to help me become a strong solid person.


Who knows, this may help someone who has been through similar situations as myself or are going through these situations at the current moment. Most people just want someone they can relate to.

Photos Provided By: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/44262008812015600/?lp=truehttps://lifehacker.com/how-to-stop-being-a-pushover-1625771201https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-stop-being-a-pushover?redirected_qid=5434568#!n=12