This may be a little off topic, but I was thinking of how everyone has an opinion about black women, especially the black men that share the same melanin with us. There are so many men out here who feel dating a black woman is a last resort. I have a couple of questions for you:
Why is dating a woman who shares something so intimate as your struggle unappealing?
Did you not love your mother?
Do you secretly believe you’re unlovable and unattractive? Is that why you don’t find women that share physical and emotional qualities with you attractive?
Are black women deemed unattractive because we remind you of the real problems you’re trying to run away from when you date, marry, love, or impregnate someone of a lighter complexion?
Or could it be what others believe; constant manipulation over the years has turned us against each other?
I understand some men just prefer a woman that looks least like them; sometime for no particular reason. But the men that say they want to marry outside of their race because they want children with loose curly hair, light complexion, green or blue eyes; or because they have this notion that all black women are ghetto and have little to no etiquette or those who feel black women represent the struggle in every since of the word. I just wanna say that every black woman is not the same. There are so many men out there whether they be Black, White Spanish, Indian, Chinese, they will not date certain women because of what they heard about them. Many times it’s not because of things they experienced, it’s merely based off of something someone else said, or one bad run in with a woman of a race different than their own. How is it possible to judge a entire race on one encounter with someone who doesn’t share your ethnicity, culture, religion, or sex? What people need to start realizing is that everyone is an individual, not every white person is going to act the same, just like not every Chinese person is going to act the same. Everyone has free will, that means we all have the right to choose how we are going to live this life and who we’re going to spend it with.
I remember years ago a family member asked me why I liked dating a specific culture. She made it seem like there was something wrong with the type of man that I chose to date, and because of that I tried dating different types of men, but something about me and them just did not mix. So I went back to dating the type of man I felt comfortable with, and I have to say; 4 years lately I do not regret my decision. I say that to only prove that you are the only one who knows what your heart needs, if it’s someone that doesn’t share the same culture, skin, ethnicity, or whatever; so be it. You love who you love, but not loving women of your race because being with them reminds you of hard times, is a cop out. Love who you love, but let the love be real and authentic. So many people these days only marry and have children because they want something from the other person. I believe the only time to get married is when you have her back and you know she has yours, and there’s love and understanding there; the same goes for when you have children.
I also would like to add, don’t deny the chance to get to know or date someone because they’re not what you would typically go for. You never know they could be exactly what you need.
People these days are so sensitive, especially when it comes to skin tone. I don’t understand. There are people being shamed everyday because of what they prefer. It’s a preference people! Get over it! I’ve witnessed plenty people talking about someone that is in their same race be called a colorist because they have an opinion about someone of a darker complexion. Stop being so sensitive! If they aren’t disrespecting you or the person that is of a darker complexion, What’s the problem? There are real problems going on out here. Start talking about those, instead of starting unnecessary drama.
I know you have to be sensitive to other peoples feelings, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have an opinion. People of today feel like they have the right to tell you what you can and can not say, to a certain extent that is true, but it’s starting to get really ridiculous. You can’t say anything publicly with out worrying about some type of backlash. Or is that just me?
I would love to hear about your experience with this word colorist. Also if you agree or disagree with what I said. If you don’t agree that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I was thinking of a movie I grew up with, ‘Imitation of Life’. That movie made me cry every time I saw it. If you haven’t seen it, it was a story about two women raising their children. The white mother had a daughter with blonde hair and blue eyes and the black mother had a daughter that had brown hair and brown eyes. But if you didn’t know her mother was black you would think she was white. The sadness starts when it becomes clear Sara Jane (the daughter of Annie) hates the fact she has a black mother. Truth be told the movie was really focused on Sara Jane and Annie. It focused on the resistance Sara Jane had towards being classified as black. Every chance she got she rejected her true identity, which was being a black woman that looked white.
That’s one reason why I don’t think of people as a color because genes determine what we look like. A black woman could have a child with light eyes or straight hair. It all depends on the genes. That’s why I didn’t and still don’t understand why race is such a big issue. Everyone’s the same, we just look different. But I have to say, I do understand why it became such a big issue back then. People made it that way. From then to now we’re having the same issues and it all boils down to power and acceptance. That’s why Sara Jane struggled with her identity and why so many others lived a life similar to the one she tried to live. All because of acceptance and not wanting to go through what darker skin blacks had to endure i.e. the one’s that couldn’t pass.
The relationship between Annie and Sara Jane took me for a ride. There was never a time Sara Jane looked happy around her mother. Even though Annie was the best all around, Sara Jane was never happy. I’m sure it had plenty to do with her thoughts about the limitations that would be placed on her because of her classification. Time after time she ran away, lied, and denied her identity. But there came a time when she lost what really meant most to her. That thing wasn’t really a thing at all. It was the person that loved her more than anyone else in this world, her mother. It wasn’t until then, she realized the era of her ways, but by then it was too late. Her mother was gone and she lost the chance to be the type of daughter her mother deserved.
I guess you could say I chose to write about this movie because it seems like we’re reverting back to the way this country use to be. A lot of people think that it’s a good thing. I’m sure it’s not everyone but the number of people with this backwards thinking is growing. Like it or not, we all came from the same place. We maybe different but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t connected. So if your the type of person that believes someone isn’t on your level because of their race; I’m sorry to inform you honey, the only difference between you and them is the amount of melanin in your skin. But underneath, you both are the same. So learn to love your brothers and sisters because like I said, we’re all connected. There’s no need to hate or spread chaos and dismay because you want to remain in power or for the sake of ignorance. My answer to curing ignorance, is to expand your mind and open your heart to people that don’t look like you. You never know how knowing them may bless your life.