Short stories

Not Ready

This video was something I felt I needed to do at the time, because I was really going through. I was with this man that I thought was going to end up being my husband. But his a** had other thoughts. See his problem was he believed I was going to be that girlfriend that was not going to be capable of thinking for herself.

I know now that what he got was not what he wanted. He wanted someone that was going to depend on him 100%. Let me tell you something; that is not me, never has been me & never will be me. If I want something I go and get it for myself. I’m not going to look to anyone else to take are of me. I guess that’s just the way I’m made.

But let me tell you… I thought this was a bad thing at first, because I always heard “A real man wants to be needed and a woman shouldn’t be too independent.” I later found out that only applies to man who’s not secure in himself.

I mean really, what’s wrong with a woman wanting to secure a bag for herself? Too many times woman have depending on their men to take care of them and have been left in the end to fend for themselves. I’m not saying every man is like this, but there’s a good amount of them who are.

Yeah, but I really just wanted to bring this video to your attention. Please excuse the long pauses. Not quite a YouTuber. Just figured I would speak from the hurt and let you all know some of what I’ve experienced.

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As Always

Short stories

Trauma

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know has gone through or are sensitive to childhood trauma, please do not engage in reading this post.

What’s up everyone?!

I know you may think you know me from many of my blogs… But how can you know me when I don’t even think I know myself?!

I have gone through life trying to live in the shadows because I never wanted to rub anyone the wrong way. That was mainly because I grow up with someone that was supposed to be a very strong positive male driving force in my life. That was anything other than what I got. What I got was someone who broke my spirit! This person made me question who I was at every turn. Before him I was a pretty outgoing child. I had a very strong sense of self. There was no one you could put in front of me that I would be afraid of speaking too. But sense him I have felt nothing but fear. It makes me so sad to think that this man had the power to make me question my self worth.

He did not do this directly, he used the one person I love the most. His words worked at the time. I didn’t know it, but she was under a spell. It hurt at the time to know this man had such a hold of this person I loved and cared for so much. I HAT THIS!!!!! Every time I speak about this one individual it causes me to retreat inside of myself. It brings up emotions I really do not want to feel anymore!!!!

Childhood Trauma's Lasting Effects on Mental and Physical Health ...Many of us don’t realize our childhood plays a huge part in the kind of person we grow up to be. Because years later I am still that timid little girl. When I once was that girl who sparked conversations and did things without the help of anyone else. I hate to say it; but this man took my confidence from me. He made me feel naked, weak & and helpless in this world.

My Mom say I should start talking about this stuff because it will help others to relate to me; but it hurt sooo much to talk about. I know I need to be more vocal, but those are feelings I just don’t want to revisit. I understand that by facing these feelings it could help me move on and not be held back by childhood trauma, but it’s so hard to admit that this individual affected me soo deeply.

Wellness Wednesday: Childhood Trauma and Men's Health | WOSU RadioEven though it happened years ago. I still feel like that middle/ high schooler who was made to feel like they were nothing!!! I now understand why I am the way I am. He’s the reason why I don’t want to speak to new people, why I suffer from agoraphobia, also why I have a very weak sense of self worth. Most people don’t understand the type of hell you have to go through when living with someone who hates the very thought of you. This is even worse when you’re a child, because you have no where else to go.

Many people don’t know how he got in my head. He did this through years of being alone in a house with me. I was confined to my room for many days. That many times was the only place I felt safe. Don’t misunderstand me, he never touched me in that way, as far as I know; but he did talk down to me every chance he got, which was a lot. This was because my mother was working to pay the bills and he was not. So he had plenty of time to wreck my self- esteem. There was nothing I could do that wouldn’t go through him first. I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was because he manipulated my mother so bad she didn’t want to do anything that would upset him.

I don’t want to make this post too long, so I’ll stop it right here. If you would like to know more about my Step-Father and how I’m dealing with the residual affects, make sure to drop a LIKE and SHARE this post.

Just because this isn’t your story doesn’t mean it doesn’t resignate with someone close to you. Sometimes we just need to know we’re not alone.

As Always 

Photos Provided By: https://radio.wosu.org/post/wellness-wednesday-childhood-trauma-and-mens-health#stream/0, https://health.clevelandclinic.org/childhood-traumas-lasting-effects-on-mental-and-physical-health/, https://www.givingcompass.org/article/childhood-trauma-is-more-common-than-you-think/

empowering · Feelings · motivational

Stand your Ground

Good Morning my Beautiful, Beautiful People!!!

How are yawl  doing on this Marvelous Monday?!

 

I’m sure a lot of us are still going or are a little crazy because of this quarantine we’re under. Don’t worry it’ll get better all in time.

Well… you know there’s always something I want to bring to you all’s attention; and that’s manners. What happened to them?

Back in the day the South was known for their strong stance on manners and using them. But as time passes it seems manners are quickly becoming something of the past.

What got me to thinking about this is a conversation I had with my Mom, just yesterday. I was speaking to her and she mention how men used to treat women with respect; open doors for them, offer a helping hand when they realized something may be too heavy to lift.  Now days…. women are left to fend for themselves. Many men have forgotten or either put down the practices that classified them as men, in the first place. A lot of them will watch you struggle with bringing the groceries in or fixing something around the house before they ever part their lips to say,

Need help?

Many times that’s because they have no romantic interest in you or they’re used to you and really don’t care about putting on that front like they care. Honestly it seems like most men these days are only trying to help you out if they’re trying to get your number. That is unless they’re an older Gentleman who was raised in the manner of treating every woman with respect and knowing the role of a man.

For example: Ladies have you ever dated someone who when you first started dating they did everything we know a man should do; you know like pulling out your chair, opening the door for you, paying the tap, help when the situation calls for it? I can keep on going but I’ll stop there. My point is, they start that way and stop once they get what they’ve been working for or once they’ve figured out you don’t know your worth. This is especially true if you are not the type of woman that holds a man accountable. The sad reality is they’ll cater to you, but only if you make it a requirement.

That ‘s why I feel so many women are going through the problem of having a man respect them and remain loyal, because… women out here are settling for less.

Step Your Pussy Up Step Your Game Up GIF - StepYourPussyUp StepYourGameUp TsMadison GIFsStop being pushovers! You have to stand strong in what you want and need out of a relationship, cause if you don’t he’s gonna take you as a joke and play with your time and your heart; And we can’t have that; can we?

Birds With Arms Hell No GIF - BirdsWithArms HellNo HellNah GIFs

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As Always

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · self-esteem · Thoughts

Trust You!

GOOOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!!!

 

 

As always, I hope all is well and you are following the road less traveled, but the one that you feel in your heart belongs to you. Like I’ve said may times before; “You aren’t living unless you’re living a life of freedom and remain to be uninhabited by your surroundings.

Too many times we have been stopped from doing things we really have wanted to do because we were listening to the opinions of others. Sometimes it’s good to listen to others, but sometimes it’s not.

Let Your Brain Take the Road Less Traveled - The Human FactorMy whole life has been dictated by others. Mainly because I was afraid to take accountability for the things I chose. Cause this way I could sometimes do what I wanted, because someone suggested it and not get blamed for the outcome. But the only thing with that is sometimes people choose what you would have chosen, then other times they don’t. When that happens you’re focused with making the decision whether you are going to do what they suggest, or are you going to follow your own mind and do what you want to do anyway?

That’s why I’ve learned to follow my own advise. Don’t misunderstand me, I still ask people their opinion; but I don’t fall for the peer pressure of doing something because someone told me too. 

It’s gonna be a struggle at first, but you’ll be so happy once you learn to trust yourself. Cause what happens when you finally start following your own mind is; you stop being a follower and become a leader. In becoming a leader you also unlock you mind and finally give yourself the permission to be you, unapologetically. That is when the true beauty of living comes in to play.

 

Question of the day:What is something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t because of the opinions of others?

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Photo Provided By: thehumanfactor.biz

 

As Always 

empowering · Experiences · Feelings

Self love is the Best love

Good Morning Yawl!!!!

 

I hope everyone is happy and living their best life, despite the state of the world. Don’t let that get you down. There are reasons to be in your feelings and unhappy, but look past those things and be happy for the things you still have; breath in your body for one.

Today wanted to do something a little different, I created a video on YouTube. If this goes well I think posts like this will become a regular thing.

But just to give you a little insight on the video you’re about to view, it’s for women who haven’t learned to value themselves; constantly looking for validation from the person their with or others around them.

 

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If you want a book that’s going to keep you entertained from start to finish, Checkout Loyalty, Love, Lies & Betrayal By: Shadrieka Franks on Amazon.

As Always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · Thoughts

Mr. Ideal

♛ MightyDontKneel ♛

Good Morning y’all,

 

I’m gonna be honest; this post is going to be about the type of man I have come to learn about through movies. One movie in particular; Fifty Shades of Gray. I’m sure a lot of you have seen it. If you haven’t; How could you not?! At this point you gotta be living under a rock! This is specifically for my women, because I’m sure most men haven’t or wouldn’t waste their time watching it.

Well let me get to the meat and potatoes.

Seeing love being displayed in that magnitude made me want to recreate something like that in my own life. But the trouble with that is, many times things don’t flow and turn out as well as they do in the movies. Most of us have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince. Trust me I know. But, I have no doubt he’s out there. I just haven’t found him yet.

What I’ve realized while being on this journey to finding my ‘Christian’ is to just have fun with the process. Stop trying to make every man the one, because most of them are not going to be.

But when he does come…. I’m gonna be ready for that ass! There are gonna be so many things we’re gonna try and so many places we’re going to go. For instance, I’ve never been to an amusement park with a spouse or gone on a cruise or out of town. So we are going to be busy. But you know what?… Even if I don’t meet my ‘Christian’ I’m still gonna do all  those things. Whether it be by myself or with loved ones; I’m not gonna let one situation stop me from living; as I have all these years.

One thing I must continue to reiterate is; This life is to short to wait for others to catch up. You have to start being that dare devil for yourself. Go out on a limb and do that crazy thing you’ve always wanted to. Chances are if you’re waiting on someone else, you may never get the chance again.

Inconclusion

I want to thank you all so much for rocking with me. With my inconsistent ass. I know I need to do better, and I will eventually. Also if you aren’t living the life of your dreams right now, take a step everyday to make that shit possible. Oh yeah, make sure to have some bomb sex while you’re at it. I’m not getting none, so it’ll bring me comfort to know someone is.

 

Also if you need a good book to read and you like hood mixed with a little LGBT drama check out my book

            As Always 

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empowering · Experiences · Feelings · Informative · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

Love?

We except gifts from our significant others, when we know they’ve done wrong. Reason being, we want to forget it just as much as you want us to.
Even though you want to forget it, you can’t give in so easily, make that ass work! Don’t lay down and take it, because it’ll be done again and again and again.

 

 

Love….

 

It’s something so much of us crave for… We want it so badly that most of us will endure so much ill treatment just to get it. Well… that is a false notion many have; many of us believe any attention shown is a form of love, when that isn’t the case. I know women and men now, who believe because their significant others coming home every night means they love them and only want them.

There are 24 hours in a day honey; if he or she wanted to cheat on you they’re going to cheat on you. Forget them coming home to you at the end of the day. Like we all know, we always, even if we don’t have the time, we’ll find the time to do that thing we really want to do. Just in this case, that thing is a another person.

Another thing; wearing rose colored glasses, believing this person is all that and then some, because they’ve been nice or taken you a couple of places. Especially if you’ve only been dating them for a couple of months. As I’ve found out, it fades. Not saying that everyone is like this, because I’m sure there are people out here who love going to new and exciting places. I just didn’t end up with one of them. That’s why I always say take your time getting to know someone before you let them into all of your business (Women especially). Once you say too much, it can’t be taken back. They heard what they heard and you said what you said. 

The reason it’s important not to say too much; people have a tendency to use your words against you. At the time you could just want to share something personal, because you want to feel more connected with them….. I get it….. But, DON’T! You don’t want all your ex’s to know all your secrets…… Right?

Well back to the topic at hand…. LOVE

A four letter word that when experienced is filled with so much emotion. Without it, many of us feel lost and alone. A lot of us would allow ourselves to be manipulated, beaten, and taken advantage of just to have someone to say they love us. 

For many of centuries women and possibly some men have gone through the really horrific side of “love”. Being made to feel they’re less than because they’ve decided to be vulnerable, or because they’re mate was the provider. To anyone who finds themselves in a relationship like that, I take my hate off to you. I don’t believe I could ever deal with that type of mistreatment. It takes a lot of strength to be in a situation like that. I know we like to say: “He’s weak or she’s weak for staying with them”, but that’s strength. Strength you could be using for something much better than getting disrespected, ignored, or beaten. 

Inconclusion, love from another may come with time. But the only love that matters is the love you give and receive from yourself.

 

As Always….. 

 

Experiences · Feelings · motivational · Rant · relationship · self-esteem · Short stories · story telling

Experience is the best teacher

As I said in the video, there are so many young girls who want a boyfriend so bad, they’ll put their selves through torture just to say they have someone. That is a very bad practice to have. The only validation need is self validation. Once you really begin to appreciate yourself and everything that comes with being you, you start to realize how truly special you are.

Side Note: I know…. I don’t say things that are going to shock you and make you want to listen to me further. The reason for that is, I’ve never been someone who needed to hurt your feelings or trick you in to taking my advice. It’s either you do or you don’t. But I hope you do, because there is a better life out there waiting for you, once you realize how much you deserve it.

For those of you who continuously check in,  I am so grateful to you. Without you this site would be nothing. Also I know consistency is key. I’m really trying to work on that. But there’s something I need you to do for me; drop me a line, stating what kinds of things you would like to see on this blog. I understand I’m the administer, but this blog will not grow with out your input. So please, comment away. Also if you enjoyed the video above, make sure to like and subscribe, because I’ll be posting much more frequently on my YouTube page.

Thank you all so much for the support. As always

empowering · Experiences · Feelings · health · motivational · relationship · self-esteem · Thoughts

Live Free

Something I’m starting to realize as I get older:

I DONT NEED A MAN!!!

I’m sure a lot of you may be thinking, “Duh!” But for a long time, I thought I needed someone to complete me. I always thought I wasn’t enough. This thinking held me back from a lot of things. But, you live and you learn. Going through relationship after relationship, has taught me; you have to be happy with you first, before you can expect anyone else to be. Self love is the key component to living. I mean, I’ve always known that. But to actually come into an awakening, knowing everything will be just fine; I don’t need anyone else but me. Is a true blessing.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I’m happy to say that I’ve finally made it. Some people never make it to this point. So my plan to progress through this journey is to, let go and be free, because I’ve always been somewhat controlled; after all, that is the way I was taught to be. But I’m gonna be out here getting my bag, just like everyone else. Who wants to work a 9 to 5?…. Go ahead I’ll wait….

NO ONE!!!!

That’s who. I’m starting to feel 2020 is going to be my year. But if it isn’t, I’m gonna find a way to make it so. I’m learning new things about myself everyday. For instance; I love not having to answer to anyone. That’s something I’ve always done in past relationships. Don’t get it twisted, I’m with someone, but it’s complicated. For the past month to month and a half, I’ve been doing me without having to answer to anyone and it feels good. Another thing, I’ve been able to be selfish. Something I’ve never been able to do before. I’ve always cared more about the person I’m with happiness than my own. I know… that’s an issue; I’m working on it. Also, I’m starting to see my true nature starting to shine through. I’m a hustler baby!!! Who would have known?

My Mother.

It fills me with joy, knowing I’m capable of handling my own business. Even though sometimes I might not want to; I know I have to. Ladies and gentlemen; know you can’t hide behind someone forever. If you’re not use to doing things for yourself, you need to get use to it. You never want to be in a situation were you’re afraid to leave because the thought of going out into the world scares the s*** out of you; that’s no way to be. Trust me I know. For years I hid behind friends, family, and boyfriends because the thought of meeting knew people scared the crap out of me. Not because I had an actual fear of people; but for the mere fact of, when I meet new people I have the tendency to play out the future interaction in my head. Just thinking there is a chance the person won’t like me or want to know me, has always put me on edge. But I’m learning and starting to except more and more everyday (as you should too); what other people think of me is not my concern. The only person’s opinion who matters is my own. I think if we all started to use that as our motto, we would be better off.

Through this platform, I hope to help those who are having a hard time excepting themselves. If you feel what I’m saying or know someone who can relate, please share this post with them. It might just make what they’re going through a little bit easier.

If Fear Runs Your LIFE Are You Really Living?

Don’t forget to LIKE, SHARE COMMENT, and FOLLOW.

As Always, I love and thank you all for the love and support!!!

empowering · Feelings · Informative · motivational · Quotes · self-esteem · Thoughts

Finding you

This post may include affiliate links. For more information read Disclaimer.

Good Afternoon, Loves!!

I pray life is treating you well…

Self love– regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

This is one thing every person should have for themselves but don’t. Many times people or situations, cause you not to feel this for yourself. That’s the reason we have so many negative things going on in the world.

A lot of people have begun to feel complacent with not feeling good about themselves. That is definitely not a head space we need to be in. Regardless of the things you’ve been through in life, you have to learn to move past the pain, find the silver lining (there’s always one). I know sometimes the bad may out way the good, but there still is good.

I’m not sure why negative affects stay with us longer than positive ones. But you have to allow yourself to get out of that negative head space, so you can thrive and start living life with purpose instead of technicality or responsibility. Try turning that negative thought process around.

Instead of thinking, “I hate my life!” think ” I love my family. I’m so happy they were placed in my life.” or “I’m getting older. I have nothing to show for it. At this point life is pointless. No career, husband, or children.” you could say, ” I have my freedom, and I’m excited to see what beautiful blessings God has for me, because what is for me, will soon be mine .”

See the problem with most of us these days, we want everything right now. If we don’t get it when we think we should, we start to spaz out. We start to believe our time for success is never coming, we’re never going to get married, we’re doomed to live a life of poverty, we’ll always be a loner; I could go on forever. Truth is, we have so many fears, that we’re allowing them to run our lives.

You’re always going to have some fear. The key is to use it as fuel; not an excuse to not achieve your greatness. Let that fear propel you to be the best singer, songwriter, writer, actor, doctor, lover, teacher, activist.

What ever you have passion for, let your love for it guide you. Through doing what’s in your heart, you find the way back to you.

If you need further help getting out of that rut; here are a few books that are guaranteed to get you back on track. The key is to practice what you learn in these books, daily.

Also, don’t forget to LIKE, FOLLOW, SHARE, and COMMENT; so others who are going through depression or self doubt can be helped by this post. Know that a person can be laughing on the out side, but inside are empty because they feel as if their life has no purpose. Show them it does.

As Always, Love you’ll

Definition Provided By: dictionary.com

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